How to Change Your Subconscious Story About Love (STOP feeling lonely and single)

We all have subconscious stories we tell ourselves, like, guys don't pay attention to me. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Every person I date is the same type of person with a different face. Why can't I attract love? I'm just that crazy cat lady. Every person I date is emotionally unavailable. I feel like I'm always the one to put in the effort. All of those are stories we may tell ourselves. However, When we take out the subconscious story we have about love, we become free to really attract love into our own lives. Welcome back to another video. My name's Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be showing you how to unveil your subconscious story, which has been on autopilot, running itself out over and over and over again. And you might not even know it. And understand that our reality is a direct reflection of the story that we tell ourselves consistently. So when it comes to our subconscious story, this little thing right here is supposed to be one of those, what do you call it, glaciers or something, where a lot of them are submerged under the water. Most of our story about love is under the water, and then a little bit of it we are aware of. Now, first off, let's understand that subconscious We give it this very esoteric meaning. We're like, what is the subconscious? It sounds like this very abstract thing. Subconscious just means under, sub, like underwater, like a submarine. The idea is that it's just, we're not aware of it. That's it. So it doesn't have to be this really mystical flying butterfly thing. It's like, what is that? What is that? It's like, it just means it's unconscious or subconscious and now you make it conscious. And what you do to do this is you go through and you start to ask questions. You start to unveil unveil the perspectives you have, unveil some of the perspectives maybe your parents had. And the more aware of these subconscious stories you become, the more that you are then able to change it. So realize that we have a little stick figure right here. Now our reality is a direct, it's a mirror reflection of the story we tell ourselves on the inside about love. So question things like, I always attract this type of person into my life. Things like, it's hard for me to attract someone into my life, or it's easy for me to attract them, but it's hard for me to keep them. These are all stories. Then there might be stories that our parents, we may have modeled growing up, like love doesn't last. It's something that I've seen divorce, I've seen divorce happen a couple of times in my family. And because of that, part of me is like, do I even ever want to get married? That's my subconscious story about love. And it means that it doesn't have to be this esoteric weird thing because it's subconscious. It just means, It was subconscious. Once you make it conscious, then it's a choice. But until then, it's on autopilot. It's like the shadow that is there. So your subconscious story may, and most likely is, exactly what is holding you back from experiencing love in your life, from attracting the person that you wanna be with, the one that you would really resonate with at a deep level. There's a subconscious story that keeps that person from coming into your life. Imagine they're trying to crawl themselves into your life. But what you're doing is you have this subconscious story that's like blocking them out. You're like this, and then, then you don't even see them, and they're just crawling trying to get in. But you got that subconscious story there, and that subconscious story may be also something that might come along the lines of your framework for what it takes for you to be loved. You may believe that you are not lovable subconsciously. You may have had experiences growing up where someone broke up with you and you said, I'm not worthy. So we have these rules in place that many times may hold us back from experiencing the love that we naturally are. And understand that when it comes to attracting love into our life, it comes due to vibrational resonance. So the key to this is actually feeling the self-love now. And even think of it like this: we have someone else in our life over here going like, hey, love, I love you, and all the way over there. Then what happens? Is we have a rule, a rule about love inside of our mind that says, well, when someone's in my life, I will then be able to feel love. Because every single Disney movie that we've ever watched has showed some miserable person that is lonely and miserable, and then eventually they find some type of person, someone rescues them, whatever the story is, the story, the subconscious story that is being shown. And then at the end, they live happily ever after and they are finally whole and complete. Then as we grow up and we're 6 years old, we see this on Disney. We see Cinderella, we see Snow White and all of these, Aladdin and all these, and we're like, oh, maybe if I get that person, that Prince Charming, that princess, I will finally feel worthy, whole and complete. This has been embedded in my subconscious mind that this is what it takes to be loved. This is what it takes. So Then we have a rule, and that rule says when this person comes into my life and saves me as the princess that she is, as the Prince Charming he is, then what we say is, okay, the rule has been met, check it off the list. Yay, now I feel love. But here's the thing. All we did was had a rule. They met that rule, they met that blueprint, and then we feel self-love. The whole time, by the way, the love is within us. We can feel the love. It's just that we got these stories that keep us from feeling the love because we're like, wait, Don't you feel that love yet? Don't you feel it? Because if you feel it, then it's— the idea is that we have this rule that says that we can only feel it once they actually come into our life. And that's the rule that keeps us from feeling the love, which would then help us to actually attract more love into our life due to vibrational resonance. And that's why I always say the statement, you find the one you love by doing what you love. Because when you're doing what you love, you're in your core frequency and you're you're loving other parts of your life, and then that person comes in as a direct reflection of that. And then you're also kind of putting out this tune, this, it's almost like you're in this vibrational resonance where then somebody can reflect back that true self that you are versus you being someone you're not and then attracting someone based on that reflection. So the key is to really be who you're meant to be in life. Do what you're passionate about. Now, our subconscious story about love is under the surface. Now, in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly how to figure that out. And for that, I have this, which I've already made, which kind of helps this process of the visual presentation. Now, any belief we have, any story we have— a story is a belief. That's what it is. We may say, ah, I'm not worthy of making a certain amount of money. We may say I'm not worthy of a certain type of relationship, whatever the word. A lot of the most common limiting belief, by the way, is the belief that I am not worthy and I'm not enough. Most common limiting belief that most people have. And the key to this is this understanding right here, this little diagram. I did it. I did a good job, huh? Look at that. So it says this is a table. Okay, it's a beautiful, well-drawn table. That's my story. I'm a real good drawer. I could do other stuff good too. So you see, it says, 'I am not enough.' That's the core belief. That's the core belief. It's about to find— because this is the thing people sometimes will look at I'm not attracting a relationship, I can't manifest love. That's not a core belief, that's a side effect of something else. So people will try to change— I'm— they'll try to change that, says, oh, I can't attract love, and then they'll find that there's other things that also reflecting back to them that same thing. Maybe if they believe they're not worthy, they have trouble finding love, and they also have trouble manifesting money, you see. So it's a core belief thing, and the way you find your core belief is As you see, what is the emotion you would feel and what is the fear you have about not attracting a relationship or not attracting money? Well, then maybe I wouldn't be abundant. And then what would happen if I wasn't abundant? I wouldn't be able to have enough. Well, then what would happen if I didn't have enough? Then maybe I realize I'm not enough. And then maybe I wouldn't be accepted by friends and family. And then what would happen if I didn't get accepted by friends and family? Maybe it all gets tied back to I am not enough. So we have this tabletop, which is the core belief of I am not enough, which most— a lot of people that if they're having trouble finding and attracting love, it may be there's that subconscious belief that says I'm not enough. Now what you'll notice is that each of the legs of a core belief are rooted, are rooted in a reference experience, something that happened in the past. Now for example, this that happened in the past, there's one experience that one time I was rejected, which for me there was one time when I was rejected. More than once, but that time that I was rejected was the first time that was very memorable was when I was like 11 to 13 years old. I think I was 13 because it was like this teenager party at this Parks and Rec place. And what I did is we were allowed to go to the school dance and I asked the 18-year-old teacher to dance with me and she just kind of laughed and she wanted to dance with someone else her age and she kind of passed me off to this other chick I did not want to dance with. And that made me feel rejected. And I had this feeling that then started to wire in, maybe I'm not enough, maybe I'm not enough. That was one memorable experience. I also had experiences that weren't even related to love, experiences such as maybe my ex-stepmom, ex-stepmom who was verbally, physically, emotionally abusive, that really wired in, oh, hey, you're not enough. You barely deserve to go to school. You barely deserve to eat. So because I had those experiences, then that also helped, that also wired in, I am not enough. Now, there may be other experiences, but the key is to look through your memory banks. Sometimes we suppress those memories, but start to ask your question, the question, what is the reference experience that may have wired this meaning in, this belief that says I am not enough? Because at a certain time, time, certain time in life, certain time in life, something happened. And when that something happened, we gave it a meaning. And that meaning was the core belief, the core story, I'm not enough. And then I'm not enough translated into other things in our life. And that just was an unquestioned belief that we had. Now, what you want to do is you want to write out whatever that core belief is for you and then see the reference experiences that you've had that may have wired that in. This is all unprocessed emotion. It's all unprocessed emotion. Meaning you felt it and it was something that was not really understood from a certain perspective, and therefore it kind of got— it was like an unquestioned meaning that then got integrated. So we have these unprocessed emotion as these different lakes. Now, the key to this process of what I'm sharing with you today is becoming aware of your subconscious story about love and what it takes for you to be loved, what rules you have about when you'll know you're loved. Because I tell you what, the harder you make the rules, the less likely you are to feel love. And remember, when we're talking about attracting love, it's about you putting out love first, feeling the emotion within you first by loving yourself, and then finding someone else that is also able to love you as well. Plus making your story really easy for people to, like, it's easy for me to attract love into my life. It's easy for me to exude love 'cause I am love. Those are very easy rules that we can have. But if we're like, it's very hard to attract love, and I will only feel love when other people have said to me, I love you, Aaron. I love you, Aaron. And then when you say that enough, then I'll finally feel it. And then you have to buy me nice gifts. If you buy me like really nice gifts and you tell me you love me like 3 times a day, and then maybe I'll look at that and I'll think about it, and then maybe I'll feel love. And the harder we make those rules, the less likely we are to feel love. But if you make it really easy, it's like, I feel love because I really recognize that within myself, then I'm more so gonna be able to feel it, you see. But we have these unquestioned meanings and these unquestioned beliefs within us. So here's the process to how to change your subconscious story about love. First off, find your core belief. Is it I'm not enough? I am not worthy? I'll tell you right now, a lot of times most people have that limiting belief because we grow up in a society where we're comparing ourselves to other people. We're literally made to feel like we're not enough because then we're better consumers. The more we feel we're not enough, the better we're gonna buy, the more we're gonna buy stuff. And that's just the way we've been primed. From a cultural standpoint. So when we realize these things and we realize that we have these core beliefs that the Disney movies— then we start to realize these things and realize that we've been primed in a way, primed to give up the dime, to give up the dime, to give up the money so that we become even more worthy. And that's just the way it is. That's the way we've been programmed. But we can question these things, and that's the part of this process. Find your core belief, find the reference experiences that may have wired that in, and and start to ask yourself the question. Now the first step is always awareness. What is that subconscious story? Bring the subconscious out of the dark and into the light. You do that with asking questions. What would this belief be? What would I believe to be true to be having this kind of experience? Understand that the way it works as well is first we have a belief and a meaning or a story, then we have an emotion, then we have that, ah, of the action we take, and then we get the result, and then that fuels the story. So emotions come as a result of meaning. I just felt like sharing that, sharing that now. So understand that the emotion we feel anytime we felt rejected, anytime we felt like we're not worthy, or we feel like shame, guilt, those come from some story, some meaning of something that happened in the past. And the key to this is having the awareness. And then secondly, is once you become aware of these little reference experiences, of some of them, you can then start to doubt them. You can start to doubt them. You can start to look at the story in a different way. You can start to question those experiences. And here's the thing too that neuroscience shows us. Every time we remember a memory from the past, we change it a little bit before we put it back in our memory bank. So by the time we've thought about something hundreds of times, sometimes thousands of times, it's a completely different memory that has been overlaid with the story over and over again until it's completely changed because of the narrative we put on it. So for example, that one time I was rejected, what actually happened? Let's look at that. You can separate the story from what actually happened. Well, what happened? I asked some girl to dance with me and she said no. That's what happened. That's it. That's it. I asked a girl to dance with me. She said no. Now the story is I went up to this girl. She was 18 years old. And I thought she was gonna like me and I asked her to dance with me and she sent me to somebody I did not wanna dance with. That's all a story. What actually happened? I asked to dance with the girl, she said no. Now the story is emotionally charged. What happened is not emotionally charged. When you're able to see and doubt the old story, and I could even add a different story to it. Maybe she was having a bad day or maybe she, I was just too much of a 13-year-old stud and she was just worried and like not confident around me because I was so confident as a little 13-year-old guy. Maybe that was it, right? But when you start to see it from a different perspective and start to doubt it, you start to relate to it in a new way. Also, you can have fun with it. That's why I'm kind of saying it in this fun, light way. Maybe I was just— she was just a— I don't know. I could, I could go all day with coming up with little creative things about it. But in general, the idea is that then you're able to see it in a different way. You're able to relate to it in a different way. And you're able to doubt these different reference experiences. One thing with my ex-stepmom I realized is she was treated the same way from her dad when she was a kid, and that's the only way she thought she could feel powerful. So I could imagine it like she's, you know, like tearing down people's sandcastles. She's going around, like I'd make a sandcastle, she would run up like this and just kick it like this, and then I'd feel sad, you see. So it's like I'm able to see it in a funnier way, I even relate to it a different way. But really she was just afraid because she didn't want other people to build really nice sandcastles and she felt kind of threatened if somebody did have good sandcastles. So that's why she tore down people's sandcastles. You see, that's a metaphor, but that's the idea. That's the idea is you're able to see them and then doubt them and kind of relate to them a new way. So it's awareness, then doubt. And then the third step to changing your subconscious story about love or really anything is reframing it with your new identity. Reframe. So that was the reframe, seeing a new way and seeing that these couple reference experiences that built up this core belief, it's only a couple. Many times if you look through your past about love, you can find many exceptions or many instances where you were actually loved. I have other experiences when I went up to someone and I asked them out and they said yes, but you don't focus on that, do you? Because I got these core beliefs, I'm not enough, you see. So the key is then focusing on these other parts. And something I found actually helps as well, as seeing— is seeing some of these old beliefs as the old identity, as an old identity, and seeing that as the old way of going about things, then you start to relate to it in a different way. It's like, oh, that was like AA Ron. AA Ron was sad when people would kick down his sandcastle. AA Ron got rejected by that 18-year-old that one time who was afraid that he was gonna, that he was just so confident, you see? That's a story though. I'm not saying necessarily the best thing to do is to build another story. But it's to realize what happened to the story we tell ourselves about what happened, you see. So this is a 3-step process to love. And really, just here, if there's one other thing I could tell you as well that really helps is, is understanding that you are the star of your own movie. You are the star of your own movie. You're not the cameo. The more you realize you are the star of your own movie, the more you show up in the world as the star, and the more that then people respond to you in that way. You literally are the star of your own movie. And anytime it's been difficult for me to attract love into my life, it's because I'm trying to be the cameo in someone else's movie, not understanding that I am the star of my own movie and you are the star of your own movie. And that's also when you can make powerful choices. You can make new choices about who you are. And when you make these new choices, you find that then you feel empowered. And when you also make choices and you're doing what you're passionate about for a living and you, you make a choice to just go for it and you focus on things like that, you'll then be in a more powerful state. So realize that we may have a subconscious story that we tell ourselves about who we are, and the subconscious story is running our life about love. But what you can do is become aware of that subconscious story, and as you become aware of that subconscious story, you then bring it out of the dark and into the light. And then guess what? You do whatever you want with it. You can then choose a new story. You can then be the best version of yourself. And you can question those old beliefs about love that you have. Realize that anybody on the outside that loves you back, you're giving yourself permission. They're meeting a rule inside of you. And then because they meet that rule, then you give yourself permission to feel loved. But the love was inside you the whole entire time. Now, if you haven't seen, there's a meditation I have where a lot of people have attracted love based on listening to this meditation for 21 days. It's in the top of the description box below. Read the comments just to see what's possible. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video. Peace, much love, and namaste.