How to create an identity so magnetic your desires chase YOU

What if you could embody an identity so magnetic that what you want chases you? My name is Aaron Doughty, and I have helped hundreds of thousands of people transform their lives through that of shifting their internal identity. Think of your frequency— how you think, feel, and act— that is your subconscious identity. And one of the reasons people so often start to create a change in their life and then fall back in the old patterns is because underneath how they think, feel, and act, there's an old past identity that's trying to pull them back into the familiar. What I share with you in this video is going to be exactly what took me from a 9-to-5 job I did not like to traveling the world, helping people through making YouTube videos, having grown 200+ million views on YouTube and helping millions of people transform their lives. These same ideas and principles are what took me from just being on YouTube to then also traveling the world, running live events, helping people on stage and in group containers transform their lives as well. You can apply this towards any area of your life where you want to create transformation, and when you do, you will find that things change in a very powerful way. So in this video, I'm going to show you the 3 things will completely shift your frequency from the inside out. I'm going to show you that what you're trying to become, you already are, and I'm going to show you how to actually awaken it. Now, one of the interesting things when I was first beginning to shift my identity back in 2017 when I went full-time on YouTube is this— this is kind of trippy. Before that, I didn't see myself as someone with a strong work ethic. Like, I would went to my 9 to 5 job, I would sell women's shoes. It was getting very slow. I would complain to other coworkers about how slow it was, and we would do that kind of thing. However, I didn't see myself as someone with strong willpower. Here's the thing that happened though. When I committed to making daily videos on YouTube, back in January of 2017, within 2 or 3 months, all of a sudden I realized that my identity had shift shifted and there was no willpower involved. People would ask me like, how do you make so many videos on YouTube? And that was one thing that kind of tripped me up because I'm like, what do you mean? I don't have to will myself to make YouTube videos. It's just equal to my identity. It was like I, in a moment when I was at my living at my dad's house, had this realization that if I made a daily video on YouTube, my life would transform. So I committed to those daily videos. And literally within weeks, certain videos started to go viral. My YouTube channel started to grow. And within 6 months, I put my 2 weeks in at that 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes. One of the things that really allowed me to create that shift was I shifted and started to see myself as a YouTuber. It didn't feel like I was— yes, there were blocks there when it comes to like putting myself out there. At times I didn't feel credible to be sharing ideas on YouTube. The first like positive comments were great. The first negative comments were not so great. But I knew that this was a part of the person I was becoming. And I knew that like this, here's the thing that will, I think, really help you create this shift. One thing that I realized when it came to imposter syndrome is I could look back from the 9-to-5 job going version of me who still work in a 9-to-5 job, but now making YouTube videos every day. And it was a lot of work. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and making videos when in between. I was very busy. But one of the things I realized is when that imposter syndrome came up, and I'd be like, who am I to be making YouTube videos? What I recognized is even though there's fear around making these videos, and there's like, what will people think type energy, that's not the fake me. I saw that as this is the actual authentic me. This is the expressive me. That 9-to-5 job-going version of me, that was the fake version of me. That was the version of me that was stuck in past conditioning. That's the version of me that was stuck in childhood patterns. Literally, the corporate politics at Barney's New York, where I used to work, were that the managers were very controlling. They would get away with a lot because they were protected by upper management. And everyone that I worked with, we wanted out, but we felt trapped. I was subconsciously replaying old childhood dynamics at a 9-to-5 job. And I could have said, that's who I am. That's what's familiar and normal. But what I realized is that was what was familiar, but this is not who I really am. I was then able to begin to shift out of that old identity. So even though it felt unfamiliar for me to be a YouTuber making consistent videos, I recognized that that was more my true authentic self. And I recognized that this version over here working a 9 to 5 job, this is what I put a lot of reps in with. This is what I thought was equal to my identity, but I woke up out of the subconscious identity that I was in a way given. It was simply past conditioning. So the lesson in what I just shared with you is part of the main thesis of understanding this video. That is that your identity is flexible. That who you think you are is not the past. The past was just the subconscious energy that's been under the surface that until you question it, is the reality in which you live in. When you begin to wake up to this, it'll be literally like a whole new reality, a whole new world. So the principle of what I'm sharing as well, it comes from a book that is called Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, who is a plastic surgeon who noticed that people that had plastic surgery if they did not change their internal self-image, that nothing would really change in their lives. And he then became fascinated with the self-image, and he wrote a book on it. And literally almost every teacher you see in personal development, their concepts come from this book, whether it's Atomic Habits, teachings of Tony Robbins and his work on, uh, values and identity. It's all rooted in this understanding. That what we have is we have a self-image, and that that self-image is what's determining what our external reality is. And the thing that is blocking you from embodying a frequency that's so magnetic that what you want literally comes to you is because the energy you might be embodying is a past version of you. So begin to become aware of what identity might be on autopilot that's literally blocking this magnetic energy from coming into your life and from you embodying it. Okay, now if we want to take this a step further, this one idea alone will completely transform your life from the inside out. This is the question you want to ask yourself: that's most likely at the core blocking you from experiencing more love and abundance. Here it is: who, who did you have to be as a kid to receive the love and approval from Mom and Dad? Really think about that for a moment. Who did you have to be as a kid to receive the love from Mom and Dad? The reason this question is so powerful is because as a kid, the way in which we relate to mom and dad becomes the way in which we relate to ourself and the way in which we relate to the world. And if who we had to be as a kid was perfect, people pleaser, hyper-independent, etc., these become the identity underneath the surface that is keeping you stuck. But realize this: it's not an actual identity, it's a survival mechanism. It's almost like a way to regulate the nervous system has become that of overgiving or people-pleasing. And due to that, what happens is you then end up in an energy where you are trying to please other people, or you believe you need to do it all alone. And hyper-independence normally creates a certain level of having to work really hard. And what happens is that creates a lot of resistance. So the energy underneath the surface that might actually be blocking you from experiencing the reality of what you want is that there's an energy of which you are trying to create from that frequency. This is something new that I've been talking about in videos recently, and it's a complete consciousness shift when you begin to embody it. Think of it like this: there are 3 different levels of manifestation, of creating your dream life. At the bottom level is the unconscious level where you're reacting, reacting to what's happening, where you are in, um, like, why is this happening this way? And why is reality like this? You're most likely not in that level. At times you might kind of fall into that level for a moment, but you're most likely in the level of where you are more consciously creating what you want because you are aware of what you think, feel, and experience and how that affects your reality. So this is the level of many people that are into self-development. This is also many people that have been through an awakening and are aware of their energy. And this is where also a lot of people stay trapped. And one of the reasons people stay trapped in this layer, in this level, is because what is motivating this level is a certain level of shame. It's a certain level of personal development, trying to get from here to there. And when you're trying to get from here to there, you're infusing subconsciously that this energy, that this moment right now is not good enough the way that it is. There is also normally an energy of believing that you need to be the one that does it. So there's a lot of trying that happens, and that effort that happens is coming from the pattern underneath the surface of who you had to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love. And if that's not resolved, what happens is we continue to look to the external reality to meet that need. So I have a saying that I always say at my live events, and I always say in my coaching programs, and that is that you can't change the pattern from the level of the pattern. So it's like if you're overworking and you become aware of this part of yourself that's overworking, the key isn't you try to change that pattern in order to change it, because that infuses that the pattern is not good enough the way that it is and that there's something different about it. It almost resists and represses that pattern. It's like if you have— who did you have to be as a kid was, um, you felt judged by your parents and criticized. You then normally will begin to criticize yourself. Their voice becomes your voice. And then the moment you become aware of this judgmental part of you that's criticizing yourself, what do you do? You judge it. You want it to be different. This is why at this level of consciousness and frequency, one of the biggest insights you can have is to begin to actually accept this role and this identity that you had as a kid. If you imagine they're at your doorstep, knock, knock, knock, you open up the door and there's your inner child. Are you able to see, hear, soothe, and nurture them? Because that's where the gold is. And if you don't do it, they will look for it in external reality. They will look for it from their boss. They will look for it from your partner. This part of you will look for it, and until you give it that approval, that validation, that acceptance, it will feel like something is wrong, and it will be looking for it in other people. So for me, for a long time, part of my pattern was as a kid having a controlling stepmom. My pattern was tiptoeing around managers and around people of authority that I believed had power over me. You could even say that when I went from the energy of working a 9-to-5 job I didn't like into doing what I love full-time, I had to break a childhood pattern, or at least begin to see that that pattern is not who I really am. And to break that pattern, what I had to do is I had to stand up for myself. I had to take the vision of my life in my own hands and stop waiting. I had to start taking action. And what happened is, as I started to do that, my identity began to change. And then here I am with all of this willpower, but there was no willpower at all. It was normal. It was easy for me to make daily videos on YouTube. And when people would ask me, I'd say, what are you doing? How are you able to do that? Make videos every day? What are you talking about? It's so easy. It's natural for my identity. I don't understand. And what happened is that understanding became where I really started to connect to and realize that all the things I had been searching for and trying to get, I already was. It's just that when you're in an old identity trying to create a new identity, what happens is there's a gap. You're trying to get somewhere you're not, instead of just focusing on the frequency of being it. Now. So a huge part of this process is recognizing inside of yourself, first off, your identity is flexible. How you view yourself is probably what was happening in childhood from 0 to 5 years old is probably part of the blueprint for how you view yourself and how you relate to other people. And what happens is that stays on autopilot. And this nervous system regulator of this past inner child, you, that believes they need to please, overgive, stay invisible, be perfect, be self-reliant, etc. That version of you is something that wants to be seen, heard, and soothed and nurtured. And when you begin to connect to that part of you and you begin to embrace the tension on the other side, that's when you will begin to actually create that identity. I think about this in another version of my life where in a relationship, a pattern that I had to shed years ago was a pattern of people pleasing. I could recognize that this pattern wasn't even really my own. This was a pattern you could say as a kid I learned from my dad, who was a people pleaser. And very nice. That was what was modeled growing up. But also there was an ex-stepmom in my life that was controlling. And I saw the pain that came from that, from that kind of dynamic. And what I recognized as an adult, there were things that was hard for me to see inside myself, because I think I would judge my dad for having it, and I saw it as weak. But then I saw that that same tiptoe energy was something that I, in some ways, was a body. What I had to realize was that that pattern of people pleasing is not who I really was. I found out too that when I did the ancestral work and asked people in my family about my dad and my dad's dad, who I never met because he died like pretty much when I was like 2 or 3 years old, found out that he was a people pleaser. He couldn't say no when he was like out at friends' houses, and my grandma would get mad because he'd be fixing people's stuff all the time. He couldn't say no. We do everything for everyone else. So could it be that that pattern is not really, wasn't even mine, was just passed down? So I started to see then that that pattern as a survival mechanism isn't who I really was. And then what I decided to do is I knew that I had to shift my values. I had to start to be, I had to in a way become bad. Okay, this is the next step of the process for it to become— to see it as the natural you is to realize that the old identity you have that is keeping you trapped in a prison— there are certain things you think of as good and certain things you think of as bad, and the thing that is bad is what is actually keeping you trapped because you're judging it. So as a kid, it may have been good to be on eggshells. It may have been good to get approval from mom and dad. It may have been good to be invisible, or to be good. So do you see, as kids, we are internalizing in theta brainwave state from 0 to 5 years old, we are relating and realizing what is good and gets pleasure, what is bad and gets pain. And expressing yourself may have been bad. Having your own needs may have been bad. To be vulnerable may have been bad. To stand up for yourself may have been bad. And when I say that for you to become free, it means you must integrate your dark side, I mean that by you sleeping— like, leaning into what you think of as bad You will then begin to become more free. So for me, back in the day, what I learned how to do is I learned how to lean into being bad by actually setting boundaries with people. I learned how to be bad by actually expressing how I felt to people, knowing that maybe they don't like it, but the lesson was that their tension was not my thing to manage. And their tension was something that I thought was my job for so long. That's why people pleasers are trying to ease tension. But you're not a people pleaser or an over-giver or hyper-independent. Those are just patterns. For the hyper-independent person that works really hard, your breakthrough normally is around realizing that your worth is not just connected to what you do. That when you actually take a step back and relax more, you're in a more calm, regulated nervous system, and then things happen easier. That will feel bad to not be working so hard. It will feel bad to ask somebody else for help instead of believing you need to do it all yourself. That will feel bad, but bad is free. Bad is not actually bad. Bad is actually your freedom. So if you want to begin to really break out of your old identity, the key is actually embracing the bad, embracing the expression, embracing your dark side. And as you do that, you will begin to release the stored energy from inside the body. And this is where real identity shifts really begin to happen. Because that's where your identity and the energy underneath that identity begin to release, which is the main thing that a lot of people stay blocked with. Now, by the way, I'm going to be doing a 3-day identity shift challenge soon. If you want to join, you go and click the link below. It's going to be completely free. We're going to be doing breathwork for releasing stored energy in the body. We're going to be doing that of some practices for changing the identity from the inside out., and we're going to be looking at the core pattern that's under the surface that's been keeping you blocked. And I'm going to show you exactly how to shift it so that you can begin to embody a new you. If you want to join, you go and click the link below. We're going to be starting soon. I'm going to be doing some of these challenges every now and then to really help people transform their lives from the inside out. It'll be all live on Zoom, and it'll be live coaching, meditations, etc. Before this process, understand a few key things here that will really transform the life from more than anything else. Now, first off, your identity— you think about it like a set point. You have your, uh, AC on at 74 degrees and the door's open, the heat comes in or something, then what happens is the AC will kick on to bring it back to 74. That's called a cybernetic mechanism. Now, in the same way, you want to become aware of what your set point is, which is connected to your identity. It's also connected to your definitions. I remember I was coaching someone recently who said like, I wanna be more consistent with creating content. I wanna be more consistent. And I'm like, okay, well, here's, well, I could give you a whole list of things that you could do to be more consistent, but underneath the surface, what we realized is that part of the identity was that I'm not consistent and that if I was consistent, then I would be good enough. So there was like energy to release and identity to let go of. But what's funny is it's like, like, for me to become as abundant as I've become in my life and to do the things that, you know, the, the main thing I can see that really has transformed my life, that you watching this, I think if you take one thing from this video, will completely transform your life from the inside out. It's the way in which I relate to the uncomfortable emotions of like fear is like, I see the fear. And I know that if I take action anyways, and I feel the fear, that tension becomes my initiation into a new expanded comfort zone in a way. It's like, your comfort zone is what's familiar. That's like the brim of your past identity. When you feel the fear, most people stop and they let them stop and stay where they are. The key is to feel it and to actually take action anyways, knowing that the more consistent you do anything, the more familiar it becomes. So it's actually not, it's like, it's just a, it's just a reps game. That's it. Think about right now, one thing in your life that used to feel very hard for you, or you were afraid to do it, and then you did it. And then what happened is you did it again. And then what happened is you did it again. And then one day you're like, oh, this is pretty normal for me. It's interesting how that works, isn't it? Because there's an identity shift that happens. There's a familiar energy because you put in more reps. Like I remember back in the day going to like, uh, like think about going to the gym. People say, it's so, how do you have the willpower to go to the gym? It's crazy. No, it's not. When you go to the gym for 2 or 3 weeks, it then is equal to your identity. The things that you used to think brought you pain, like being sore, become the thing that actually give you motivation and like, like endorphins. Like what you thought of as bad is actually good and you enjoy it. It's easy. When I first went to Bikram back in the day, they say you can't just come for one day. You had to come for 7 days to get a feel of Bikram yoga. So I remember back in the day when I went, I go and I'm like, okay, I've got to go for 7 days to know if this is for me or not. What happened after day 2 or day 3? After day 2 or 3, you buy, you don't want to use a sweaty yoga mat anymore. So you buy your own. All of a sudden, your identity is like, hmm, maybe I'm more of a yoga type person. Right? And then you go for 7 days and you're like, wow, I feel different. The first day was really hard. The 7th day, it's like, I feel kind of like a rush of energy. I feel very present, calm, and alert, and it affects my sleep and all these other things. There's an identity shift that happens. You might meet a couple people there and you realize, oh, I like, I resonate with these people, if that's your thing. Same with the gym. It's easy when you shift your identity. And to shift your identity, it requires an intention. It requires decision and it requires consistency to show up knowing that the past version of you may have been the fake version of you in the sense that that's not the real you. That's just the autopilot conditioned past you that you thought you were, and you've been staying as a good boy or good girl within the confinements of the energy as a kid. But now it's time to break free if you're watching this video, baby. You ready to break free? So a few other things that will make it very important and powerful is understanding that anything you make important, you're saying is not equal to your identity. And normally the things, by the way, we make the most important are who we had to be as a kid. Whatever emotion we did not feel as a kid, whether that's approval or validation, we will normally value that the most. And then we will be like looking for that the most. And anything you look for is hard to find because it's actually inside of you. And when you begin to give it to you, that's when your life will begin to transform. This is why what I recommend you do is you focus more on having fun with the process instead of focusing on the end result. You focus more on bringing the presence underneath the surface and that when you get into the energy state of it and you enjoy it because of its— the sake of itself, that's when you're in a powerful energy versus doing it to get somewhere else. So if you want to talk about one of the most strong magnetic frequencies you can imagine, is the frequency of presence. It's the frequency of the energy underneath the surface. I had a consciousness shift almost yesterday watching one video that was talking about the vortex of the eyes and how when the eyes are focused on one point, it like relaxes the rest of the mind. And what I recognized is back in the day when I was making videos, I would almost look forward to waking up in the morning to be able to look into the camera lens. And I would feel connected and almost like everything else gets calm. And it's almost like there's an energy greater than me that's able to flow through, especially when the intention of the energy is on adding value. And that's why one of the reasons I think that like the Frame Technique is so powerful. It's a technique that I've taught to literally hundreds of thousands of people that have watched the YouTube video. I get told from people all the time, it's one of the most powerful techniques that transform the energy. It's the idea of the frame technique. Staring at a candle flame. Eyes that wanders, a mind that wanders. When you're focused on one point, you start to feel more present to the moment. So by connecting to the camera more, it's like there's more flow state that comes through because my eyes are also really locked in on connecting with you. So it's very interesting how the identity that you have— the real key to this, I'm realizing, is not so much even about getting a new identity. It's about actually just letting go of all identity to begin with and to focus more on presence, focus more on the present moment, letting the divine flow through. Rather than trying to be something new or else. When you trust God or the unknown to flow through you, and when you focus on having fun and in a way channeling that energy, it's like there's a completely new magnetic energy to you to where you're not thinking. This is where you make what was unconscious— and it's like any of the people, by the way, that you watch that are the most magnetic people you see They're not trying to be magnetic. They're not watching videos on how to be magnetic. And what I mean by that is it's become just a part of who they are. And you watching this video, this can be a permission slip for you to begin to actually bring more presence into your life, more of your connection to the Divine or God into your life, and realizing that your degree of presence is what determines magnetic energy. And it's not about getting a new identity or like, like, I understand that my next level in my life isn't necessarily me becoming someone new and doing the daily habits of like becoming that person. It's simply getting into the energy of presence more. I can get into this energy when I'm on stage. I can get into this energy when I'm in a video, like here right now. Like, if you can feel the energy of presence I'm bringing to this video, and it's different than past videos, can you go ahead and like this video or comment below and let me know? Like, just to see, like, is this something that you guys can feel, that there is a different level of presence that comes into the equation when you begin to bring more focus and more energy of feeling inside of your body and more surrendering to something greater than you that isn't an identity that you adopt. It's about bringing more of that energy into your body now. And for this, I also, I also consider it to be heart coherence as well. So that heart coherence is something that when I embody it, like It's a frequency that I put out. And what's interesting is when I'm in energies, for example, of not just me, like, I need to go run more live events to become a live event person even more. It's like I, when I'm in the energy of at a live event and the divine is flowing through and I'm having fun, what's interesting is that's when podcasts, like, invites come. That's when new opportunities come into my life. It comes from the energy state. That is the frequency of being. So this isn't necessarily about attaining a new identity. It's about simply letting go of the past identity and realizing it's not who you really are. Your identity is flexible. Instead, realize if you could begin to heal who you thought you had to be as a kid, you will begin to become more free. If you could see, hear, soothe, and nurture that part of yourself, you will begin to feel more free, because then you won't be looking for your needs to be met on the outside in the same way. If you could begin to embrace your dark side, the side you used to think of as bad, and you begin to leap into that, you will literally realize a whole new reality, because you've been living in this little box. Thinking you can't express yourself, thinking you can't be authentic, thinking you have to walk on eggshells. You don't. Maybe now is the time to begin to shift that energy. And that SHIFT process is one of the most powerful things that I teach. And that's what I'm going to be teaching at that 3— the 3-day Identity Shifting Challenge I'm going to be doing soon. If you click the link below, you can check that out and join. Realize the game plan you can give for yourself, the 24-hour hack is this. I'll leave you with this, the most powerful idea I've ever shared, the thing that has allowed me to really create so much, like, like shifted identity in my life. If you just focus on the 24 hours in your day and you every day do something from a level of presence and you do actions that wire in this new you, but it comes from a level of presence. What you do every day compounds over time. So what will happen is you simply bring more of that energy into your life every day. With time, it becomes more of your dominant reality. When I started making videos in 2017, every day making videos, it was an energy that began to compound. My identity shifted. Go to the gym every day or 5 days a week, you will start to see yourself differently. But it's the energy, the process that you begin to fall in love with that will completely transform your life from the inside out. Now, if you want one of the most powerful meditations I've ever created for this, for wiring in this new identity, it's a meditation that has over 3 million views. So many people have transformed their lives. So listen to it for 21 days. You'll literally see the old you and the new you and begin to create association to the new you. Commit to it for 21 days and watch how much your life changes. I'm gonna go ahead and put this video right here.