In this video Aaron Doughty explores how our core beliefs shape our experience of wholeness in both single life and relationships. He argues that viewing a partner as the sole source of fulfillment externalizes personal power and creates dependence, jealousy, and perpetual dissatisfaction. By recognizing that we are already whole and complete, we shift our perceptual lens, which changes the ripple effect of our beliefs, allowing us to attract higher‑quality connections that align with our integrated self. Doughty shares his own transformation from seeking external validation to embracing self‑worth, emphasizing inner work, purpose‑driven passion, and self‑love as the foundations for feeling whole. He explains that when we are whole, we can choose to stay single or share our completeness with a partner, deepening relationships rather than using them as a crutch. Practical advice includes identifying personal purpose, following passions, and consistently affirming self‑love, which together create momentum toward lasting fulfillment.
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This video, this video is going to be all about the idea of understanding more about who we are, understanding how we could feel whole and complete already, whether we be single or whether we be in a relationship. Now, what are those things that we can do? What are the things, the perspectives that we can have that can really tweak that so that we ultimately get that experience? Well, this also has to do with the idea that our beliefs, what we believe to be true, ultimately is going to be what we experience. Experience in life. It's going to be the perceptual lens that we see our life through. So understanding that a lot of times this was cultivated at a very young age. Most of us grow up believing, or maybe even thinking that, you know, believing in the idea of soulmates, for example, believing that, you know, you got that necklace with a heart on this side that one person wears, and then the other side, the other person will wear the heart, and then you connect it together. Combine forces to be that 100% whole and complete couple that you are. But the idea is that when we believe that somebody else is going to completely fulfill who we are, what that does is that externalizes our power. That says that I am no longer able to make myself happy. I need somebody else to have and reflect that happiness back to me. And while I think it is about reflection, the idea is that if you feel 100% whole and complete already, you're more likely to either attract somebody else, find yourself meeting other people that feel that integration, or what you'll find yourself doing is deepening the relationship you're already in because your cup is already full. You're not looking for it in somebody else. You're not trying to seek something that is ultimately with inside of you already. Now let me explain a little bit about this idea and how I used to feel years ago about it because I've had kind of this shift that I'm going to explain to you, my perception of it, and it's really changed the way that I feel about being single or even when I'm in a relationship. The idea is that I'm able to have a much deeper relationship because of this realization that I'm about to share with you. And one of those was the way that I used to be in relationships is I would externalize my power. I would think that somebody else was supposed to completely fulfill that level of happiness inside of me. And because of that, it was something that could never really, you know, live up to its standards because that happiness is within me and I was looking for it outside of me. I even had traits of being a more jealous type person because I had some belief in the happiness being in that person or with that person. So because of that, if, you know, there's jealousy type feelings are more likely to come up. When I began to get to the root of why I had this or why I would think think about it and see it through that perceptual lens, what I found was that it was coming from a belief in not feeling worthy. It was coming from a belief and thinking that somebody else is supposed to completely fulfill who I am. Well, I began to observe that and I began to shift the way that I thought about it. And as I began to bring that awareness in and I began to think about it differently, I began to see it differently. You see, a lot of times the reason that we think the way we do is just based upon pattern. But when we shift a little thing about it and we begin to know that we're already whole and complete, for example, we then begin to change the ripple effect on what we believe and perceive to be true. Now, over the course of the next couple of years, what I found me doing is making a transformation in the way that I thought, and now I feel 100% whole and complete all of the time. Of course, it's an ongoing process. But the idea is that I believe the reason that I feel happy with who I am and I'm not looking for that in somebody else and I find myself attracting higher quality relationships is because I've already integrated who I am. Now that's another part of what I wanted to talk about today. You attract relationships based upon who you are, not necessarily what you want. So since you attract what you are, the idea is that if you do the inner work and you find out who you are, you're more likely to find somebody else that aligns with that version of who you are. Now the idea is that if you go into a relationship, for example, and you don't necessarily want to know what you want out of life, you don't know those types of things, what you'll find is then when you're with that person and you begin to find that out, you may find that that person doesn't resonate with you anymore, and that's totally okay. Now you can also deepen the relationship that you have by becoming more clear with that and by loving yourself more. And then ultimately you can actually love other people more because once you love yourself, you can then give away that love. But I think that that's what's very important to understand, is to find out who you are. As I've become more aware of my purpose in life, as I've taken more action with what I'm passionate about, I've noticed that I begin to develop a momentum to where I feel whole and complete about who I am because I'm on my purpose. Now, this is something that you can do too. Follow your passion. Find out what you love to do, and the more that you do that, the more happy you're gonna feel about yourself. And ultimately, that's an act of self-love in itself, is doing what you want to do. And as you begin to do what you love to do, you'll find yourself attracting also other people that are doing what they love to do, and you're more likely to resonate at a deep level with other people. Now, even then though, you'll have the choice of getting into a relationship or staying single because you feel 100% whole and complete already, and you aren't looking for that to fulfill that in you because you already feel it. The idea though is that if you want to, you can share that experience with someone else, and ultimately that's going to be the deepest relationship that you find. So what I want to encourage you to do is to know that you are already 100% 100% whole and complete, that you don't need to externalize your power and to look for it in someone else. Understand that you can still share your experience with other people, but ultimately you can't love other people until you love and feel whole and complete already. That's it for today. Hope you guys enjoyed this video. Feel free to like this video if you liked it, share it if you found it of value, and other than that, I'll see you guys on the next video. Much love.
