How to Finally Feel Seen, Heard & Understood (Inner Child Workshop)

In this workshop, I wanna show you some of the most powerful modalities I have found for healing that has completely shifted and transformed my life from the inside out. I wanna share with you the process and how you can do the same thing in your life and how most all of the stories you have that are holding you back, that are blocking you for more love, more success, and more abundance is rooted in an emotion that in childhood was felt and that was a need that was not met in childhood. When it comes to inner child in general, inner child healing is that very often when it comes to The people in our life that we surround ourselves with, we have an expectation for how we expect other people to respond to us. And many times if we have an energy where we feel we need to fix someone else in our life, help someone, fix someone, trying to solve the problem, try to mitigate their tension, then what happens is we actually project onto them more of their own issues. And what we are energetically telling them is that they're broken and there's something wrong with them. Now, when it comes to the healing process, a big part of the healing process is I do my best to do this and sometimes I have to remind myself, but it's even when I'm coaching people, whether it's live on stage or whether it's in Zoom like this, There's moments where I'm coaching someone where I have to really tune into presence and realize that this person is so powerful. They have all the answers inside of themselves. And all that's happening is there's a reflection of that that is happening. The questions help guide people to their own answers. But part of my job is to see people as whole. And then that, Vision allows people to recognize the wholeness within themselves. Now, in the same way, when you are around people in your life, if you are around people and you envision them and you relate to them in a way where you say they're broken, subconsciously, I need to fix them, I need to mitigate tension, et cetera, what ends up happening is you end up enabling that pattern. You end up like, they will stay in that pattern because you're trying to quote unquote fix them and it motivates them subconsciously to stay in their problem. It says, you are not powerful in and of yourself and you need me to fix you. Does that make sense? So a huge epiphany happens when you begin to see other people in your life as whole But also, when you are connecting to your own inner child, is there an inner identity of an inner child that you see as broken, that you see that needs to be fixed? Is there an identity maybe that this inner child did not have his needs met and it's a victim? And you see, the challenge with this is that if that's what you're projecting onto your own inner child, then there's a part of you that will continue to feel like your needs were not met in childhood, which also reflects into life now where you may feel like your needs aren't met now. Because what happens many times is people's stories, beliefs, and limitations in their life right now are rooted in an emotion that was not expressed, not allowed to feel, or needs that weren't met in childhood. Is this resonating? You guys following? Someone says, can you please repeat that? So our inner— the challenges, like everyone right now, think of the challenge that you're dealing with in your life and begin to realize that that may be connected to an inner child part of you from the past that did not feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured. So what is the challenge that you're dealing with right now in your life? And that story, that challenge, whatever it is, there's a story there. There's an intellectual story that will take you out of the emotion of feeling. Now understand that for many people, most of the time, that story, that belief, that limiting emotion or that limiting belief, whatever that is, is rooted in an emotion And the underlying core of that emotion is what was not seen, heard, or soothed or nurtured as a kid. And maybe it was a need that was not met. Now, for example, and if you want, you can put in the chat, what is your current challenges in your life? What is your current challenge and what is the emotion that it's rooted in? As Veronica just said something cool, she said, wow, had an epiphany. Seeking approval and connection stems from battling for my father's connection with his jealous wife and failing. Wow, powerful, Veronica. Not feeling good enough, not feeling seen. A lot of these, a lot of these are the emotions, which is great because that's where you want to get. Someone says bully neighbors, fear of failure. So what you can realize, like for example, if someone is in the energy maybe of attracting emotionally unavailable people, and they tolerate emotionally unavailable people, and that's their story, maybe their story is people don't choose me, et cetera, there could be an abandonment wound or feeling not worthy. And that story reaffirms that emotion. But then if you look to your inner child, was there a parent growing up that maybe was emotionally or physically unavailable? And was it normal, familiar for you to have your needs met as a kid? Or did you familiarize not having your needs met? So that maybe feels more familiar, but regardless, there's an emotion there. Now, when you're visualizing your own inner child, if you visualize your inner child and you're like, I need to fix my inner child, this wounded, victimized little kid, I need to fix them. And imagine your inner child's in front of you and you're like, it's okay, it's okay, don't cry, don't cry, it's okay. What are you subconsciously, energetically communicating to your child, that inner child part of you? What are you communicating? Exactly, that their feelings don't matter. Just hurry up, this emotion is too much for me. Oh, how can I help you? Like, imagine, like, one thing we do at live events is we do breathwork ceremonies, right? And when I was getting certified in breathwork, one of the things that was very important was imagine you're in the middle of breathwork and imagine the practitioners are walking around the room and someone comes over to assist you and you're like feeling intense emotion and they're like, you open up your eyes and they're like, is everything okay? Are you gonna be okay? It's okay, just here you go, here's the tissue, here's the tissue. Like, what does that communicate to you? You're like, okay, it's not okay what I feel, right? It's not okay what I feel. But if you're just, if someone was just calm, if someone is just calm, If every time someone came up here and started sharing emotion and I was like, "It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay, I swear, just relax." Yeah, more shame. That's why a huge part of healing is just observing and witnessing that inner child part of you or observing and witnessing and being present So if you get one thing out of today, let it be that what your inner child needs is not to be fixed. What your inner child needs is not for you to solve its problems. It's not for your intellectual advice that you can give. Hey, it's gonna be okay, blah blah blah. You could say that, that can help, but Underneath all of that, you want to know what your inner child wants more than anything else.

What is it? Acceptance, love, presence, validation, to be seen and heard.

Yeah, all of these, but your presence. Is very healing. Your vision of them— do you see your inner child as a broken little kid or as powerful? And as you start seeing them in this new way and holding presence for them in this new way and connecting to them and accepting them and letting them have the space to feel what they did not allow themselves to feel when they were younger because maybe that wasn't nurtured. Does this make sense? How many of you are following me?

Awesome.

So a huge part of this inner child healing is recognizing that if you just spend a little bit of time every day holding space for that part of you, you may find that your nervous system begins to relax a little bit. So let's move on to a little quick mini activation, okay? Do a little meditation, and then we're gonna go into hot seat coaching and all that stuff, okay? Who's excited for today? What do you say to the inner child? Whatever maybe wasn't said when you were a kid that you wanted to hear. But also, you don't have to necessarily say anything. You just have a— you could have a loving presence with your inner child, and that can be very healing, just giving them the space to feel whatever they feel. You can say things like, you're enough. Say, I'm here with you.

It's okay to feel.

You'd say all— you'd say whatever, whatever comes to you. Let your intuition guide you.

Yeah, give them a hug.

Yeah, and that's also a powerful point. You can say the Ho'oponopono is so powerful.

I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

4 simple statements. And what you're, what you're beginning to heal is the energy inside of your field. That's your conversation with the divine. I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

Very often people are like, what am I sorry for?

Somebody did this to me when I was a kid, what do you mean? But what you're sorry for, what you're apologizing for, is it's not even really apology, it's the collective unconsciousness. You're taking responsibility for the collective unconsciousness. And choosing not to carry it around with you everywhere you go. I'm sorry that this is unconsciously inside of my field. Please forgive me.

Thank you. I love you.

We'll talk more about that later. So let's go into a quick guided meditation. And then we're gonna move into some hot seat coaching, okay, and some Q&A.

I hear a lot from people that say Ho'oponopono changed their life. I see people in the comments saying it. Ho'oponopono is very powerful.

So let's get into that. Let's—

let me go into and get the song for today. So I'm going to go ahead and share the— oops. All right, here we go. One moment. Let me know if you can hear this okay, right? You guys hear this? Nice. All right. Let's get into it. Okay, go ahead, take a deep breath in through your nose. Let it all go. Now give yourself permission to really go into yourself. And close your eyes and set the intention right now to connect to your own inner child. Imagine a ball of energy, any color that you like. Imagine wherever this ball of energy goes You feel that part of your body relax. Imagine this ball of energy going to behind your forehead, loosening up, melting away any tension. Bring it now to behind your eyes, feeling your eyes loosen up. And relax. Bring it now into your jaw. Imagine your jaw loosening up and relaxing. Bring it down your neck. Your left arm and hand, your right arm and hand, into your heart, down your spine, into your hips, your left leg and foot, your right leg and foot, And imagine any excess energy leaving through the heels of your feet. Now imagine now in front of your heart this ball of energy, and imagine spinning. And go ahead and put your love into this ball, your appreciation for the energy of the feminine. The energy of the mother, Mother Gaia, maybe even your own mother who birthed you. And imagine that ball of energy growing inside of your heart. Imagine it spinning faster and faster. And using your intention, imagine that ball of energy going from your heart down into your spine, down through your legs, and imagine sending it all the way down to the center of the earth. And anytime you send this energy to Mother Gaia, it always gets returned. So imagine now that ball of energy coming back, coming through the feet to your legs, into your hips, back into your heart, and Allow yourself to receive whatever energy that is, and feeling the gratitude for the Divine Mother. Now, using your intention, imagine going from your heart, sending the energy up through your heart, up through your neck, out of the top of your head. Imagine it going up into the sky above wherever you are right now. Imagine it going beyond the clouds into the heavens and send that energy the Divine Father, the masculine energy, the stillness and space. Maybe this energy is even going all the way up to the Sun and beyond. Send that energy of love and gratitude. Whenever you're ready, imagine that energy coming back down through the sky, down beyond the clouds. Coming back to the top of your head, down your neck, into your heart. And imagine receiving the energy of the Divine Father, that stillness inside, that support that allows you to feel safe. Now, connecting to the mother and the father, the next step is noticing that in front of you, inside your heart, as you put your awareness there, imagine that in front of you you're able to see your own inner child. What outfit is your own inner child wearing? What age are they? What do you notice about your inner child? How are they feeling? What's on their mind? You can ask them if you're curious. Allow yourself now to kneel down with your inner child, to look into their eyes, and simply to be present with them, not seeing them as broken or needing to be fixed, See them as whole. If you need to, though, you can acknowledge whatever they're feeling. Let them know it's okay and that you're there with them. Now, as you look into their eyes, you can repeat Ho'oponopono, which is: I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. You do it again and imagine your heart connecting to their heart. And again: I'm sorry, Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. See if there's anything else you feel guided to do with your own inner child to help them feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured. Maybe you play with them, hug them. Whatever it is, go ahead and do it now. Now go ahead and notice, how does your inner child feel now? Do they have anything to share with you now? I'm gonna give your inner child another hug. Maybe make a commitment to them to every now and then tap in, to check in on them, and let them know that you're always there. Whenever you're ready, go ahead and bring your energy back to this room, wherever you are. I'm gonna count from 5 to 1. By the time I reach 1, you will feel alert, present to the moment. With 5, bringing the energy into your arms and your legs. 4, and your spine. 3, into your feet and your hands. 2, into your heart. And 1, you can open up your eyes. And how do you feel now? You know, some of you say comforted. Cried a lot, tired, laughed, amazing, it was unexpected. That was beautiful.

It's okay whether you cried or you don't cry, you felt it, you didn't feel it, you played, you just had fun, it was light, it was heavy, whatever it was, it's perfect. This is an inner process of connecting to your own inner child, which is a subconscious part of you that most of us neglect. So what I would like to do now is show you a quick video. How many of you are down for a quick video? Let's see.

Let me find it real quick.

It's here somewhere. It's a video that will show you.

Okay, I'm going to share it here in a sec.

It's going to show you the impact. I've shared this before, but I want to show you how sensitive kids can be. Okay, so here we go.

One moment.

Can you all see this? And then can you all hear this? One sec.

The still face experiment.

Babies this young are extremely responsive to the emotions and the reactivity and the social interaction that they get from the world around them. This is something that we started studying, oh, 30, 40 years ago when people didn't think that infants could engage in social interaction. [BABY CRYING] In the still face experiment, what the mother did was she sits down She's playing with her baby who's about a year of age. "I'm my girl." And she gives a greeting to the baby, the baby gives a greeting back to her. This baby starts pointing at different places in the world and the mother's trying to engage her and play with her. They're working to coordinate their emotions and their intentions, what they want to do in the world, and that's really what the baby is used to. And then we ask the mother to not respond to the baby. The baby very quickly picks up on this, and then she uses all of her abilities to try and get the mother back. She smiles at the mother. She points because she's used to the mother looking where she points.

Duck.

The baby puts both hands up in front of her and says, "What's happening here?" She makes that screechy sound at the mother, like, "Come on, why aren't we doing this?" Even in this 2 minutes when they don't get the normal reaction, They react with negative emotions, they turn away, they feel the stress of it, they actually may lose control of their posture because of the stress that they're experiencing.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm here. And what do you do?

Watching the baby get distressed can be highly triggering. If a child can get so distressed So upset over a few seconds of cold and unfeeling behavior, we have a sense of what can happen over years or more of neglect. No wonder some of us don't feel so well inside. We had an equivalent of a still-faced parent for our first decade and more. But knowing how vulnerable we are shouldn't merely sadden us. We can take stock of how we've been failed and understand the link between the our past and our present difficulties. Psychological research, like the Still Face Experiment, is at the forefront of helping us to understand ourselves emotionally, shedding scientific light on the origins of our sadness and complexity. Along the way, the experiment proves something else beyond doubt: love isn't a luxury. It's a gateway to our very survival and sanity.

All right, well, what did you all think of that? That is, uh, can be kind of intense to watch, isn't it? Is there a part of you that can almost feel your own inner child, like, inside of you? Like, yes, I resonate, I empathize with that baby, you know? Now I want to point out a couple things with that still face experiment as well. One thing that you'll notice the baby did is the baby started to protest. They're called protest behaviors. And we saw the baby was like, "Point." Mom didn't look. She shrieked, she said something. "Ah!" Mom didn't give her attention, didn't look at her. These protest behaviors are ways that as adults, some people may be people pleasing to get their needs met. It's like, "If I please you, you'll pay attention to me, mom or dad." If I ease the tension in the household, these are the protest behaviors. Or look at me, I feel significant. I need to feel good enough. I need to feel worthy. I need to feel like people like me. Who do you want me to be? So what happens is these protest behaviors are there and the healing, who noticed one of the most important parts of the study? What do you think it was? And where do you think the healing is? Where do you think the healing is? You'll notice that what happened is the mother was engaging with the baby, regulating emotions, present with the baby. She looked away, she came back, still face. Baby freaks out. And after a while, after 2 minutes, the mom then starts to reemerge with that love again, reemerge with that mirroring of emotions. And then the baby was able to process it and still to then feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. Well, for many people, if they have an inner child that did not feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured, they're still living in protest behaviors. And that's why one of the most powerful things for you to do is to start being present with that inner child part of you, to start loving that inner child part of you. Now, if you wanna learn step by step how to apply the frame technique to feel safe in your own reality, to feel confident in your own frame, then I show step by step in a free YouTube video how to apply the frame technique. It's a guided meditation program process where I explain it along the way. It's a meditation that is very easy to do, requires no meditation experience. So if you want to check out that video, I'm going to go ahead and put the Frame Technique right here. Welcome to the Frame Technique meditation and activation.