How to get what you want by Letting Go (Stop chasing & follow the energy)

We can either follow the outcome and be attached to an outcome, or we can follow the frequency. We can follow the energy. And what I have found in my life is when I follow the energy and I focus on being in the energy that I prefer to be in, that feels good, when I am on and in the energy of following the frequency of what adds value to other people, I am then in an energy that is not attached to outcome and I enjoy the process along the way. What happens is when we have an agenda, we have a form of control that we end up putting on Reality. And this is where we then also put expectation. We want the first piece of content we ever make to be perfect. We want it to reach lots of people. We want it to feel a certain way. We want ourselves to judge it in a certain way. And what we end up doing is we end up by being attached to outcome, we end up butchering up the energy of it. Does this make sense? So when it comes to the process of creating your dream life, it's very important to follow the energy. When I run a live event and I'm showing up and I have the focus on having fun, the focus on adding value, it gets a very different result than when I am showing up and I am trying to get content. Remember me sharing this on the first day? Huge difference. Now, something I'll share with you guys about happened yesterday. So yesterday, who had fun at the session yesterday? Lots of you, yeah? Yesterday, I felt like dog shit. I'm not kidding you. I felt in the moment, I was, the night before I didn't sleep that well 'cause I was congested. And what happened is I barely slept and I woke up and it was like when anytime doing these live events, there is something else that flows through that allows whatever it is to happen to happen. And what happened is when I showed up yesterday, I did not care about the content at all. I didn't care about the content at all because of how I was feeling. And once I got on stage though, there was an energy that began to flow through that like kind of took away the buffer of, how it was like hard for me to breathe through my nose, which was kind of freaking me out because I'm so used to breathing deep and like breathing through my nose. And the fact that I didn't sleep good the night before, there's all these stories about like how my energy's gonna be today. But one thing that's helped me with these live events over the last like couple that I've done is I've realized that there's absolutely no correlation between just my energy levels and to how well the event goes. Even more than my energy levels is the intention, is the intention. And when I am just there to like add value, do what I can, do the best that I can, it's like magic is created. So I found that very interesting that yesterday that was the energy and it turned out like I finished that and I was like, wow, that was so, it felt like such alignment. It felt like the breakthroughs that happened with multiple people was just so divinely orchestrated. And I attribute a lot of that to just the energy of just no attachment whatsoever. And the cool thing about it too is it's like I just showed up, I allowed and I trusted whatever it was to flow through to come. And one thing that I've noticed as well, even leading up to these events, you can look at these certain metaphors that we have. There are times where I will go through bouts of sleeping incredible. Like 8 or 9 hours a night for like weeks. And then every now and then I'll go through a couple nights in a row where like I get in my head and I can't sleep that well. I'm like, what the heck is going on here? One thing that I've noticed is it happens less and less now because I don't care whether I get good sleep or not. I let go of needing and believing that I need good sleep for my energy to be on point. Does this make sense? Now I'm not saying, I think sleep is an incredibly important thing, but I also think that energy flows through when it's meant to. So even the night before yesterday, when I was feeling like I was in and out of sleep, I was still, while I was laying in bed and I was in that state where I couldn't breathe through my nose and that was kind of freaking me out, I was still like surrendered, like I'm good either way. Whether I get 1 hour of sleep or 6 hours of sleep or it's choppy or not, I'm still gonna show up tomorrow and God is divinely gonna flow through however it's meant to. And because I had that intention, I still woke up and I was in, I had waves that day where I was starting to feel a little bit better, but then I couldn't breathe again. And it was this interesting thing that I think was also showing me that you're good either way because a lot of times I'll set intentions like, okay, I have this live event coming up. I want to really help people transform. I wanna get great content. I need to get amazing sleep every single day. Before this live event so that I can do that. And what I've learned is that if I, it really doesn't matter if I show up with the right intention, if I let go of the outcome and I'm good either way. So when we talk about letting go, part of the energy of letting go is realizing that you are letting go of outcome and you are, in a way, you're good either way. You're good either way because there's an energy that is flowing through you. Doesn't that feel like it takes some of the pressure off of you? I noticed that the talks that I have that I view as like the most aligned are the ones where I have nothing planned. And everyone I think has that ability when you begin just trusting the present moment. And that's where all the content comes anyways. It comes in the present moment. It comes in the stillness. And when you are opening yourself up to be a vessel of that energy and you are consistently showing up, it's like that energy keeps coming towards you, that energy keeps channeling through you. So where I see a lot of people, including myself, I go back and forth sometimes. I'm like, oh, there I did it again. I was attached to outcome. I wanted a specific result and I could feel in my body how that felt. And even prior to doing this last talk today, I had 2 or 3 different ideas that I was kind of like working out of what I was gonna talk about. Neither of the 2 or 3 or the ideas that I have are what I'm talking about right now. And because of that, I believe it just is kind of flowing through in a more divine way. So it's something to be said about the energy of following the frequency Following the energy. People feel what you feel. And one thing that's missing in our collective consciousness or in a lot of people's lives right now is presence. So when you're able to be present in your communication with other people, you are in a league of your own that allows people the opportunity to match that presence. Once again, not with the intention that they have to for you to do it because you're doing it because it's how you choose to live in life. You choose to be present. And when you are present, you allow so many gifts to come towards you. You allow God to flow through you in many different ways in your life. I believe that a lot of the phase that I'm going through, I know Victor's going through as well because I've been rereading Autobiography of a Yogi. You guys have probably heard me talk about that. Highly recommend the book. And it's about this guy, Paramahansa Yogananda, who back in the early 1900s brought yoga to the West. And it's really touching to see how he relates to God, how he like has this reverence for God and how God flows through. It's very inspiring to have this kind of like humility and understanding that there's this surrender that you can have to something greater than yourself. And just like it was his destiny in a way or his like calling to bring yoga to the West, he got here and he didn't speak any English, he didn't speak much English, but yet he was able to go on like a live speaking tour for like, hundreds of days in a row in different cities and stuff all over the US, back when you definitely were judged if you were wearing a turban back in the 1920s. That was very exotic. Catcalls walking down the street. Yet he was here and he was sharing this kind of information and he didn't plan any of his talks. He just let God flow through. And I believe every single one of us has that ability to let God flow through when we have the intention of bringing that energy in and we have a pure intention of adding value. But part of that is trusting the unknown, trusting the space. There's a lot of trust that comes into the dynamics of the way that even Victor was just coaching and the way that I've been coaching where we bring people up. It's the unknown. Anything can happen. There's not knowing what kind of things are gonna come up, but there's a trust that the space itself has an intelligence of its own. That all of our nervous systems have an intelligence of our own, and that the dynamics in which we relate to each other relate to us in the crowd in our own unique ways. Just like when we had a woman come up here yesterday and scream, there were many people in the crowd I could see that that affected because we're all connected. We are one consciousness. And at the deeper level, it's about realizing that inside of ourselves. And following that energy. Now, often what we'll do is we'll start to follow the energy and then there's still like a thread of attachment. Any of you ever had that happen? There's like a thread of attachment where like, I'm doing it, but then what we do is we check to see if there's a new reflection. We check to see like, have things shifted yet? And if it hasn't shifted, we're like, is it working? Which puts us right back into the energy of attachment because there's an expectation that things have to happen a certain way. And the question is, how long do I have to do this thing until I'm out of the pain, out of the 9 to 5, whatever it is? So a huge part of this process is just catching yourself when you do that and surrendering that energy to God, to a large, whatever name you wanna give it, by the way. I know some people don't resonate with the name God, the word God or the universe, the divine, the absolute, whatever name you wanna give it. But I found it to be very helpful to put my trust on that because understand the ego wants to survive, right? The ego has these survival mechanisms that we've been talking about all day. The ego does not wanna thrive. The ego just wants to survive in its identity of how it defines itself. But as we begin to become aware of that, we can then catch ourselves when we're also trying to control, because control is also an aspect of the ego. And when we talk about letting go, it's about catching ourselves trying to insist that we know what's best. Does this make sense? It's the ego's insistence. I know what's best because the ego may also be in a trauma response, wanting to avoid pain and move towards pleasure, but mainly just avoid pain. But its way of doing that is trying to control, trying to divert certain things happening, kicking and screaming, or needing to get things to happen a certain way, when instead the power can be and becoming aware of that energy, but of allowing a higher energy to flow through, having a higher vision, having a relationship with the divine. And part of the thing Victor and I have been doing with these, what they're called kriyas, which we're still learning about, we're not experts in it at all. We wanna like learn more. And it's just kind of like this interesting thing to learn more about. We might have to, and when I'm in California, we're gonna look more into it. I mean, a lot of it involves like moving energy up the spine and kind of connecting. The idea that Paramahansa Yogananda brought from the West was a radical idea that was that God is in your spine. God is in your spine. And that was like one of the things that he would talk about at his talks. And that when you begin bringing the energy into your spine and you begin to bring it up into like the willpower center, it's called, which is like the third eye, And you can in a way like connect the mind to the heart as well. I think a lot of what we see with Joe Dispenza and other awesome teachers doing great things in the world, there's like, it's cool looking at these different modalities because there's like an interconnection between a lot of them. But moving that energy that we do in meditation even into the heart, moving that energy and connecting the mind to the heart is very powerful. But nonetheless, one thing that I've done a lot, I've been much better about recently and really enjoying is really being grateful to God, being grateful in a meditative practice, which I used to have some resistance to because of the way that I grew up, understanding some of these concepts and everything. But there's like this way that I can relate to it now that I think is very soothing and is something that allows me to like nurture that relationship to something greater than myself. And what that has allowed me to do is to take the pressure off. Because if the ego wants to survive and the ego is avoiding pain and the ego's attached to outcome and you think you have to have it figured out, and then you move over here to letting go and just showing up and trusting that unknown energy, then there's a lot of pressure that comes off and more magic can happen. Because you're in the unknown. Does this make sense? And the unknown is where all the magic happens. So a huge part of this process is learning to trust the unknown, which of course in the unknown is also where all the trauma happened in the past, right? There was a moment where you opened yourself up to love and something may have happened. Maybe you had your heart broken. Maybe mom or dad weren't able to be present with you in a certain moment. Maybe there was emotional or physical abandonment. And in the unknown, we decided, ooh, the unknown equals scary. I will stay in the known even if the known is my needs not being met, even if the known means I put all this energy on my back and I try to control. This is what I know now. And just like I shared, the unknown for me back when my dad divorced my ex-stepmom was that in the unknown of being able to watch television, have friends, have enough food to eat, was the anxiety of all the things that could happen. And there was a part of me that craved the box of being locked outside doing yard work or trying to sneak television in between times when my stepmom and dad, or my ex-stepmom and my dad weren't home. I knew where my box was. And that certainty for me felt safe. But what's interesting is what I've been able to do is I've been able to develop a new relationship with what safe is, a new relationship with God, a new relationship with my nervous system to be aware that when I get into the unknown, there is all of this stuff that can happen. But if I have and I'm present in my body and I have a good intention and I have a vision for like the energy of where I'm going, it feels like the energy channels in a positive direction. So just like an event like this where there's an intention that gets a specific result, it's like even if I'm like, well, okay, what I'm gonna do is I'm just not gonna have I'm just gonna have the intention of connecting and transforming people because that's the good intention. But also there's like a thread of like, but that's, I'm gonna do that 'cause it gets great content. Does that make sense? But that's like still that attachment there. And something that I always, and I keep coming back to is I keep coming back to allowing the unknown to flow through, to let that energy guide me. And every single one of you have maybe some area of your life where you can begin to step into that unknown energy, where you can start to follow the frequency. You can start to follow the energy of how you feel. Even if when you feel in it, you feel nervous or you feel fear, there is many times a deeper aspect of you that knows that this is— that on the other side of that fear, there may be purpose and meaning. Remember, you feel the fear, and what do you do? And you do it anyways. And it's like a calling that you can feel. It's like something deep inside of you. It's like your soul knows what it wants. And in a similar way, for weeks, when Paramahansa Yogananda knew he was coming to the West. It was a radical thing back in the day to travel that far. He had to get on a boat that took weeks to get here. It was the first boat after World War I. He gets on a boat after a whole bunch of passport rejects. His passport got rejected a whole bunch of times trying to come here. And there were obstacles. And at any point, he probably could have said, maybe it's not meant to happen. My passport didn't get approved, or I got to go on this journey. There's a lot of anxiety when he— when it came to coming to the materialistic West. There was all of this— doesn't speak the language so much, probably going to be judged, and there'll be a lot of racism towards him as well. All of these things. But there was something deeper inside of him where he knew that this is what God wanted. This was his purpose. And he followed that energy, and then he came here. And he developed that of the Self-Realization Fellowship, which has locations basically all over the world, but 3 well-known ones in California that are very popular, very beautiful centers, like meditation gardens. And what's beautiful about that organization, in my opinion, is that it unifies a lot of teachings into kind of like— you take a lot of the beautiful, pure aspects of all these teachings, and it's all kind of integrative versus like, this is the way and all these other things. Aren't it. So it's kind of like a very, and I'm not trying to promote it and make you guys go or anything. I'm just saying like it's inspired me, like whatever he has done, whether my whole life I like read the book off and on or like follow Kriya or anything, to me it's a symbol for a way of being in reality. It's a symbol for how I can carry myself. It's a symbol for how I can allow this energy to flow through. How I can allow myself to have courage to do things that at one point were scary. Just like the first time I remember doing live events, there were many live events where I would run them and I would basically stay on the stage the entire time and I would hardly talk to people at all in the crowd. I'd look at you guys, but it was mainly I felt control when I was just talking about what I wanted to talk about. And there was no dialogue really, because that dialogue could lead to something I don't know the answer to or something that is outside of what I know. But then I decided to start getting out of my comfort zone, to start trusting the unknown. And what I did is I started to embody that energy and doing it, I've gotten more and more comfortable. I've had moments where I think I know certain things and then I can tell that if I just surrender to not knowing and surrender to the answer coming, I've learned to see people as healed instead of seeing them as broken. I need to have the answers. I've learned all of these things through experience. And all of you having the courage to take that step, having the courage to put yourself out there and to let the magic of the unknown guide you is a very powerful thing. Follow the frequency, follow the energy, and understand that as you do that, you will begin to allow more magic to happen in your life. Not to say roadblocks won't come up. You might, you know, there might be blocks that come up as you focus on that energy, but doesn't it feel a little bit lighter knowing you don't have to figure it all out? Like Victor was saying, one step at a time. One step at a time. If you're looking up a mountain, it is a very tall thing to climb. It can look like, why even bother? But if you take a step and you take a step and you take a step, you start to realize you're on the journey and you can enjoy each step. You can enjoy the different views, the different vistas. You'll have different challenges at different levels of your process, of your journey, of your purpose, or whatever area it is, whether it's dating and intimacy, whether it's following your purpose or abundance, there's different things that come up at these different levels. And you can have trust in yourself and in trust in the divine and knowing that you can handle it. Does that make sense? Knowing that you can handle it. One other thing I'll say before I'm going to open it up to some quick questions that are specific to letting go and what we're talking about today is I was talking about something, I forget what it was. I was talking to Victor recently about something that was coming up and he said something very wise. He said like he was doing something where there's certain things that might be happening in our lives where it's like, ooh, we'd like this to happen a certain way. And instead of praying that this thing happens a certain way, what about praying to not have the preference either way? Think about that. So instead of saying, if you were to pray and say, I need to attract the relationship, I want to attract the relationship, I want to attract the relationship, what if you got to a place in your life where you were good either way? Where you were good, it doesn't mean it's not gonna happen. In fact, a lot of times, the times it does happen is when you let go, when you're not focused on it. But if you get to a place to where you're so in alignment with your life, you're so in your own values, you're so in your own purpose, what can happen is in that energy, you might not even be focused on that area of your life, which also may have the resistance. And then that thing, that person, the synchronicity or whatever pops in. So I found that to be very helpful too. Just like trying to sleep before an important live event. What if I'm good either way? What if I don't have the preference because I trust the divine to flow through? I trust that the energy will be there. Yogananda talks about in his books and his live talks, he talks about how, I mean, he could go, he was also enlightened, so it's a little bit different, but he could go like weeks without sleeping or he could sleep for weeks. He had that level of control over his energy body and he could energize his body to be completely energized using meditation. And it's like, if these people, if he can be a symbol of something like that, able to do it, then in our own lives, there might be ways in which we have maybe not that extreme level of maybe ability right now, but maybe there's an ability to like use our version of that a little bit. Where if you didn't get 8 hours of sleep last night, you can still be alert and present for a meeting or a talk or a presentation or a YouTube video. So what I would urge everyone here or offer you the invitation to really focus on is how you can begin to follow the frequency in your life, to follow the energy and to realize that people feel what you feel. And when I come to these live events, a lot of it too is me feeling in my body what I feel when I'm interacting with all of you and noticing when I feel the most flow When I feel I'm having the most fun? When I feel that I'm trying to force something or I find resistance in my body? And being mindful of that, having that body awareness. And then what I do is I can modify it and also modify it to my energy levels. Like this talk, I wanted to have more of a talk in the beginning versus just opening it up with Q&A. I know you guys did a lot of that with Victor, but I'm following the energy in my nervous system, following the energy of untrusting. And I believe that this is like, you know, I feel a lot of alignment with all of you right now. So follow the energy. Now what I'm gonna do is while we do, how much time do we have? While we do the last half an hour today, we're gonna do a Q&A. Now I'm gonna ask for a couple things. One, only raise hands when I ask if you guys have questions. And I forgot to say this in the group rules, but it does help a lot if people only raise their hand when I'm asking. To ask certain questions, because sometimes, when in the middle of speaking, if people's hands go up, it can be kind of distracting, just on this end. So, I'll ask, like, are there questions? People raise their hand. I'll pick someone, stand up, and then have the question be focused, and quick, and short, because we only have half an hour left. And I'll then answer to the best of my ability. And then the next question, let's have it kind of build on the other questions. We'll keep it all under the umbrella that we're talking about today. Okay, so if that's something you're willing to agree to, can I get an aye?

Aye.

Thank you. So does anybody have a question, a specific question about this? I haven't heard from you yet. You could stand up and then we're gonna get a mic and you could just lead with the question and we'll go from there.

Thank you. Okay, so sometimes I feel like I have this like just magnetic energy, this flow. I'm just jiving, I'm going into this event and I'm ready to go and I'm killing it. Like I'm stepping into my—

Killing the game.

I'm stepping into my power.

Yeah.

And I feel it. And it's like, I have this book and I write down all this magic that it happened, right?

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden the next day I'm like drained. Like, it's like the life is sucked out of me. And I'm like, where did the magic go? Like, what happened to that? Like, it's almost like I was so filled up and then I just get completely drained.

Yeah. That's a good question. Would you be surprised to know that these live events, who do you think gets the most, like you guys might have fun at these live events. Who do you think might have the most fun? You. Yeah. I have a lot of fun at these live events. There is a lot of energy that flows through. I very much enjoy it. After these live events and I go home, there is about a week of recovery, which doesn't make sense sometimes because it's like, I had so much fun. Spirit was flowing through. I was able to engage. But there is an aspect on the other side of that that is there is recovery that's needed. There were like basically 3 days, this event, 3 days long. There's gonna be like 2 or 3 days of solid dopamine going through my system and serotonin and like engagement, oxytocin, all of these things going to happen for 3 days. It's very meaningful. It's extremely meaningful to see all of you and to watch what you're going through and to hear all of this, right? But on the other side of it, there is a replenishing of all of that. Something that I did recently that you may have heard about is about a month or two ago, I decided to do a social media detox where I completely stopped being in my screen time, like in my phone at all for like 2 weeks straight. I went cold turkey from like literally 5 or 6 hours a day. I'm not proud of it, of screen time. It was pretty high and I rationalized it 'cause I'm like on Instagram and YouTube. And then what happened is I went through the first 2 or 3 days. After that, I'm reading books, reread "Autobiography of a Yogi," did all these other things. It's like the dopamine was like being reestablished and that dope, I then kind of went through not withdrawals, but like I was detoxing off of dopamine. And I went through like a week or two of probably some of the most incredible sleep I've ever had. Because if you think about it, when you're focused on your phone and you're scrolling on Instagram or TikTok or anything, your mind almost doesn't register that what you're seeing isn't like, we know intellectually it's on the phone, but you might be seeing stuff that has your nervous system kind of lock up, things that you get triggered about, people falling off stuff, if it's like one of those videos where like someone's getting pranked or something, like you kind of feel the mirror neurons of it and it's affecting your nervous system. But what happens is if we're addicted to it, many of us might be addicted to the dopamine that we get, which is cheap dopamine from scrolling, then what ends up happening is we're primed for that and almost in a hypervigilant state to where our body is constantly always in lock, like a light level of that lock. So when I let that go for 2 weeks, I wasn't on my phone at all. My body went into recovery mode like times 10 and I was sleeping really good. My dreams were way more vivid and it was like I was resetting my baseline dopamine. And then now at night before bed, 2 or 3 hours before bed, I don't watch television, I don't watch Netflix, I don't watch YouTube videos, I read. And it's a much slower thing, but that was one of the rules. The other rule for me is, While I eat, I do not watch anything. I was guilty of like basically eating and stacking that with watching like YouTube videos and things like that. And I enjoyed it, but I found that I had a feeling that was affecting my digestion. And I felt like if I eat and I'm just present, I feel like the food digests better. It's more enjoyable experience. It's a little less dopamine, but it's more meaningful. So what I would say to you is that may happen. And maybe that's not the problem. What I have learned is there's certain ways for me to like raise my baseline dopamine by actually taking out stimulation and focusing more on being in nature, which is something I do a lot here. But then on the other side of that, these moments here become even more intense for me because I've kind of like, it's more enjoyable in a way, but I've learned to just trust that after that kind of experience, there may be a recovery mode that you go through for, a few days, but it's kind of— would you say it's worth it?

Yeah, it's totally worth it. And I feel like you just gave me, um, you confirmed that to just embrace my feelings the next day and to not like say, what, get up and let's do it again, right?

Right.

It's just like, okay, embrace it, sit with it. What is my body craving right now?

Yeah. Okay, that, yeah, that's, that's a very powerful way to, to, to relate to your body or to, to like have that relationship with it. And for me, after an event like this I'll spend 2 or 3 days going to the creek, 2 or 3 days like being in nature. I'll read, I'll reflect on the moments of the retreat I like the most, things I thought maybe I could have done a little differently. I go through, there are waves and times of my year even where things get really busy and then there'll be waves where I'm not doing as much. And I have to, I appreciate both. There's times I enjoy being busy and having a lot of stuff going on. but then it makes it more meaningful when there's not a lot going on. The challenge is when there's not a lot going on, there's sometimes an ego tendency to where then I feel like there's something I need to do because doing is related to my sense of self-worth. So I'm like, oh, my business isn't gonna grow. Like I've learned though over time to trust the lulls, to trust the inactivity. And I don't see the inactivity as pointless or meaningless. I see it as purposeful.

Yeah.

So the next day you're tired. It's like, what do you want to do when you're tired? Maybe take a bath, go in nature, hang out with some animals, whatever, right?

You're speaking my language.

Yeah. Awesome. Let's give her a hand. Awesome. Let's go right over here, right in the front. Joy, Joy, right over here.

Hi, thank you. What would you say are your top 3 ways of breaking the belief that your value is in doing, your worth is in doing?

Yeah, it's a great question and it's something that I've had waves of going through. I became aware during a family constellation session here in Sedona how much my sense of self-worth was connected to doing. It came when there were people that were playing out my family dynamics on my mom's side. And there was a 70-year-old man that was playing me. Basically, they know nothing about my family and they start playing out different energy. And he started to play out me and he was like going over to my mom, the person playing my mom. And she was going through her own process, kind of closed off. And in the moment that he was trying to get her attention and she was just going through her own process, he then kind of said, screw it, and just went over and started playing, started doing. And that was like a soothing mechanism. So part for me of the way is becoming aware of that level age me that was young, that felt that way, and connecting to that part of myself, nurturing that part of myself. So the inner child work is one of the most powerful core ways I would, recommend going through looking at that energy of when did you decide that your worth was connected to doing? When did you decide that connection was something that maybe wasn't gonna be something in your life that was gonna fulfill you or it wasn't worth seeking or connecting to? So you're just gonna be self-sufficient over here with action. So that for me was a powerful self-inquiry practice. At the end of that family constellation therapy session, the person playing my mom, like had to like lay in her arms, which was a very interesting experience as an adult. But it was a very powerful experience. I could feel like shaking in my body happening. They're like almost like, you remember the still face experiment where the mom turns away and then has a still face, the baby freaks out, but then the mom then starts mirroring the motions again. The healing happens in the mirroring of the emotions. So there's like a part of us that may feel like our worth is connected to doing. And what I would do is in a way nurture and be present with that aspect of me whenever I decided that and to really mirror back their energy, to see them, to connect with them and to let them know that they're worthy for simply being. You don't have to do this to be worthy. And that was powerful for me. On the other side of that, maybe some more practical things is I've reframed it. My success comes as a reflection of my alignment to energy. Sometimes that includes taking action. Sometimes that includes not taking action. In fact, one thing that I've learned is sometimes when I take less action of the things that don't really make a difference and they're things that I'm not really passionate about, I then have more potency with the fewer actions that I take. So it's not that taking more action is good, it's that taking less actions but more of what actually makes a difference, that it's in alignment to your energy, is more powerful. Does this make sense? So it's like being aware that less is more when the more is the alignment to what really moves the needle or what really is in alignment to how it feels. So I know that when I run live events, it lights me up. If I were to run more live events, I believe that that's connected to growth in my business because of the energy that it puts me in. So there's like a knowing to that, but it's like I could run live events, make a whole bunch of videos over here, do, I could do like 50 different things. But if I were to just do more of the thing that lights me up, that may yield the best results, but also, I'm gonna enjoy it along the way. So it's kind of that detachment thing as well. So I'd say those are some of the major things to realize that I do believe action is important. I do believe action is like part of the language of our physical reality. And I think that for a long time I was putting action to the side and thinking I was just gonna think about things and they were gonna happen. That kept me stuck for a long time. Action for me is something that I feel is when you love what you do, you like taking action, right? It's like, it can be enjoyable. Not thinking that action is something that needs to be painful or needs to be like you're forcing and resisting. But the connection to self-worth is like probably the most meaningful thing because I used to connect a lot of my impact in the world with my sense of self-worth. It was like if I wanted to add value to people, but there was a part of me that I think was also connected to the more value that I add for people, like the more I would feel like I was making a difference, but also the more I would feel like worthy. But then I realized that that was rooted in something that was kind of not false, but it's like I had worthiness for just being me, right? Like a baby, what does a baby have to do to be worthy? Nothing, right? But at a certain point in our past, we may have decided we had to take lots of action, we have to be perfect, we have to get out of the way, we have to ease the tension in the family. And when we decided all these things, we then put a big burden on our back and then we carry that burden on our back everywhere we go and we play that energy dynamic out with people and then we feel depleted and we feel drained. But then we may associate that action with worth, survival, right? So for me, it's been like kind of undoing that and realizing I have worthiness for being me. I'm worthy because I exist. I like and enjoy putting out content, whether people resonate with it or not. Of course, it feels good when people resonate with it, but I've learned to not be attached kind of either way. Somebody comes up to me and they're like, video changed my life, thank you so much. I'm grateful, but also I'm not like, I don't get high from it. Where in the past when I first started, I would get kind of, I'd be like, oh, I'm doing something great. But that means that then I'm also attached to the person that doesn't like what I'm talking about or the person that judges it or makes some other type of comment. And of course, with the positive comments, sometimes the negative comments can come. But because I don't internalize either, it's like I'm almost in a place where also I understand that a lot of people's comments are like projections. So negative comments that people say about you, you may be a reflection of them of something, right? So you don't have to internalize it. But anyways, I hope that answers the question about—

Thank you.

Awesome. Let's give her a hand. Yeah. Let's go maybe— let's go in the back right there. Is this the first gentleman question? All right. Let's do it. The masculine in the house.

So honored to be here. I live in Ireland and I'm from China originally.

Awesome. Sounds awesome.

So my question is, um, when you have to spend time with people that triggers you, yeah, do you have any advice on that? So just to elaborate, when I'm in here in Sedona, I feel very connected. Yeah, I feel very inspired to make videos. Um, just feel like I'm in this energy every day. I'm so hyped.

That's awesome.

But when I think about Going back, especially to China, staying with my parents and make video, I just have this like suddenly I don't feel trusting myself that much because it happened before that. Um, I'm okay. I do have some follower base in China.

Cool.

But because, because I'm living apart from my family in Ireland That's where I get all those things, inspiration and downloads. But every year I still have to go back to China to spend time with my family. Yeah, I was talking with some of my besties today and they know that I'm gonna be here and proposing this question and they actually have the same question and they're so excited that I'm awesome. I'm on behalf of them.

Awesome.

So I just wanted to know, like, um, I know before you mentioned about the frame technique. Yeah, I really love that.

Awesome.

And I see that when I'm with my family now, I'm more aware of how I'm going internally, but I'm just like not as connected to the divine.

Yeah.

And not as It's like when I'm comforting my inner child and be aware and alert, being in the moment, but I'm just like not that energetic to make video, if that makes sense.

Yeah.

So do you have any advice on that?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, first off, thank you for the question, and I'm sure many people can relate to the core of that, right? Like family members or friends that may have a certain perspective or a certain image of you and how they expect you to be. And I'll first off say that when I first started making videos, I was living at my dad's house and I remember how I felt making videos by the pool in the backyard. And I would wonder if my dad could hear me inside the house sitting on the couch. And I was worried and I would sometimes talk soft like this making videos 'cause I didn't want him to hear what I was saying. And what I realized, one thing that I did to get over that fear is I leapt into it in a sense where I went to the Las Vegas Strip. And what I did is, as I was born and raised in Vegas, I went to the Vegas Strip and I carried around a, like a selfie camera. And I recorded a video walking in front of the Water Bellagio show and just kind of normalized getting out of that comfort, getting into the, like expanding my comfort zone. And it wasn't that bad until I walked up to the Caesars Forum Shops and went inside. Because when I went inside, I was around all these high-end luxury shops and then I could hear myself and other people that were walking by could hear what I was talking about. But I kind of not forced myself, but I wanted to normalize and own being in my body while making the content, knowing that if there's a perception about it, that it was their thing, not my thing to worry about. And part of that, was recognizing as well that their, first off, there was an insight there. When I was at home making videos in my backyard, my dad was just watching television or something. He was not listening. He was not like, what is Aaron talking about? What is vibration? Like he wasn't, and just like when I was at the Las Vegas Strip, you wanna know what I noticed? Everyone is in their phones. Everyone was, no one cared. I was making it a bigger deal than it actually was. And then I was thinking that like, I don't want the disapproval of my dad. I don't want these random strangers at the strip to judge me. But what I learned to do is I learned to own my voice. I learned to own my own energy and to understand that the more I got to practice being in that energy, I could also own that maybe the reflection for my dad, if there was one, just like we've been kind of talking about here, maybe some of our parents, their lesson and their relationship to us is to learn unconditional love, maybe than conditional love. And maybe if their condition of you was that you would be a certain way, you would accomplish certain things and turn out the way they wanted you to. If we stay in that energy when it's inauthentic for us, we're actually enabling them to stay in their comfort zone, but we're robbing ourselves and we're abandoning ourselves in the process. So we may actually be robbing our parents and other people of their own growth. And we're robbing ourselves of our own magic and we're robbing all the people that could watch our content. And think about all the people that you create content for that you already have in China, right? You already have a following of those people and Think about them, right? So basically there's two, there's like a few different ways I would look at this and I would advise you on, I would recommend. One is you can, how long are you with your parents for? How, a month, two months?

With my parents?

When you go back to China and you don't feel comfortable making content with them, how long are you there before you go back to Ireland or somewhere else?

So every year I will spend time with them for like a month.

A month. So what you could do, there's one option. You make the content when you're not there. And when you're there with your family, you just focus on connecting with them. That's one option.

That's what I usually do. Yeah.

And that may or may not be, you know, in the perfect alignment with you. The second option is looking at your relationship with them, looking at your relationship with the camera, looking at your relationship with your expression. Now, like you mentioned in the beginning, there could be triggers there. Because then when you're expressing yourself, your most intimate triggers will come up when there's parents or people around you that have stuff that maybe has flown through from childhood, right? So you could see it as an opportunity to slowly but surely express yourself and see how that feels and see if you can own it and see if you can be in your voice and be in your power. That is an option. The other option is you could make content 11 months out of the year and then when you're with them, you just connect with them. What do you think the answer is for you?

Actually, they are very encouraging.

So yeah, that's awesome.

They're very happy that I got followers and stuff. Wow, that's beautiful. But I think I have this blocking me. Just when you were talking, yeah, um, very good, uh, technique that you said, but I think I probably have this block that I cannot be fully authentic in front of my parents. Yeah, I'm not as hilarious in front of them because I, I make jokes in, in Chinese and I don't want them to hear about them, probably. And I expose my, maybe like some of my intimate relationship, and I don't want them to know everything about it as well. Yeah, just feel— yeah, I just feel like more safe to do it when I'm alone. Yeah.

Yeah, so what do you think the energy is calling you to do then? Do you think maybe to just do the videos when you're not there, or—

well, I actually know that my father secretly watch all of my videos.

Oh, that's funny. Well, there's no hiding. There's no hiding then, right? Yeah, there's no hiding.

Yeah, so I think the homework is on me. Like, I need to be in my energy and practice and make more videos, maybe. Yeah, in front of them, maybe, like, when they're present.

That sounds like a very powerful thing for you to do. Let's give him a hand.

Yeah, thank you.

And I think it's really cool that his family is supportive. So sometimes we assume We may all have a similar story where we assume our family's gonna judge us or might not be supportive. When in fact, do we actually know that? Do we know that? We don't. It could be that you express something or you say something and it could be something that they think is really cool. I mean, it's cool either way, but we don't know. We sometimes are projecting onto the situation what we think is gonna happen. And it may be very different from what actually is happening. So that's more of a relationship with him against him. And it's actually really cool that your parents actually support you. Your dad secretly watches your videos. There's no hiding. You might as well just show that hilarious sense of humor around them too, you know. Don't rob them of your hilarious jokes. Why would you be so selfish and stingy? You're going to share all these funny jokes with everybody else, but then When it comes to your parents, you're like, I'm not going to give it. They brought me into this world, but I will not share the jokes with them. Right. It's kind of a silly idea, but it's like, you never know. It could be the same thing where you might be surprised that there might be an aspect of them that maybe they didn't allow themselves to, like, think about or things to think about in a certain way that would be funny. And then you become like an outlet that at least, like, gives them a new perspective.