How To Heal Anxious Or Avoidant Attachment (for GOOD!)

Somebody asked in the last live that I did, how do I get rid of an anxious or an avoidant attachment style? How do I get rid of it? And the question that I had was that the thing to become aware of is that having an avoidant or an anxious attachment style, which avoidant is of course pushing away love or not trusting it, or anxious is leaning in and craving it. Both of these patterns were established earlier in life, most likely as a coping mechanism as a kid. And what you could think of this like is there's a past version of you, a part of you that feels anxious or avoidant. Now, when we ask ourselves the question 'How do I get rid of it?' It's similar to, would we get rid of an anxious kid or an avoidant kid? Now, the reason we ask this question is because there's an aspect of our consciousness that feels not seen, not heard, not soothed, not nurtured, maybe doesn't trust love, or maybe doesn't feel they're worthy of love and feels like they need to lean in and crave it. And of course we would never treat a kid that way. In the same way, my answer is it's not something you get rid of. It's something you acknowledge, that part of you that has those needs. You see, hear, soothe, and nurture that aspect of you. So technically healing your attachment style to become more secure is about developing trust with that inner child part of you being either anxious or avoidant. It's about meeting that part of you and being present with that part of you and recognizing that as you are, you begin to in a way soothe that aspect of your consciousness. Because remember, we attract people into our lives that replay back familiar dynamics that we're used to. This is why a lot of times people get caught up in what's called the anxious avoidant trap. They are literally two sides of the spectrum and they're attracted to each other because they both possess the thing they fear or the thing they think they're worthy of. They need to fight against. So for the avoidant, the anxious is somebody that represents somebody that needs something from them, and it's in direct alignment with what they believe and what's familiar for them. And of course, they want to keep it at arm's length, and it's overwhelming, which is in alignment with their belief system. On the other side of that, the anxious attachment who leans in for love attracts an avoidant person who keeps it at an arm's length, and then they're constantly trying to prove themselves or they're trying to lean in to get their needs met. But of course they've chosen somebody that is overwhelmed by that. So do you see how, do you see how they're opposite sides of the spectrum? Now, of course, the way to heal that is to, to get in touch with that inner child part of you. So if you have questions about this, let me know. Put it in the chat. How's everyone doing? So someone said, I just blocked an avoidant attachment man. I don't have time for unhealed people. The thing that I would recognize as well with that is it can be a breakthrough to not continue to entertain something that is an old pattern. So that can be a breakthrough. The thing that I would encourage is, I don't have time for unhealed people. Recognize also that that person was representative of a certain pattern. That you're becoming aware of so you can be grateful for it. But also, anytime we view someone else as broken or unhealed, we're projecting that into reality, and they are subconsciously playing out that pattern that we're projecting onto them as well. This is why many times when you're with someone else It's very important the way that you relate to people. It's very important the way that you see people because the way you expect people to be has an effect on them and then subconsciously they may be playing out those patterns due to that image. Now this, by the way, is very true and important for people that believe they must fix other people to know. Because if you identify as someone that's a fixer or a people pleaser, understand that by trying to fix someone else, it's implying they're broken. And what's normally happening then is that projection that they're broken, that you need to fix them, and that also it's your responsibility to fix. But it's also creating a codependent pattern. Do you see that? Because the belief, if you think about it in the form of the victim-perpetrator-rescuer dynamic, if you're coming in to rescue someone else that has lots of trauma, that is unhealed from that label that was given, then what happens is the belief is that if I can fix you, then you will be healed and then you can meet my needs. Or if I can fix you, I can then feel good about myself because I fixed you. And I feel good when I feel like I'm fixing people, or I feel good when I see myself as a good person. Does that make sense? There's a payoff you get from doing it, but also you're creating subconsciously a codependent dynamic that also isn't even helping the person you think you're fixing. Isn't that interesting? The belief is I'm going to fix them, which implies they're broken. but then what happens is you feel like they need you and it's your responsibility to fix them, but also you keep them from actually realizing their true power. What if what that person needs is a wake-up call to take their power back? What if what that person needs is to realize their own power and to be in the pain a little bit for them to realize it's time to make a change. Because that pain and suffering is a reflection that something needs to shift. But every time you get in there to fix, you take the pain away. You numb it and you tell them, "I don't have to do this kind of work. I just got to wait for so-and-so to come in and save the day." And if they would save the day, then I don't have to continue looking at myself. So be honest with yourself though. You get a payoff from fixing other people or from seeing yourself as a fixer because as a kid, to fix meant to be good and you just like being good because as a kid being good meant you got approval and validation, right? So the breakthrough a lot of times for the fixer is to instead of being on the codependent side of trying to fix other people because then you're good, then you're a good person, then you fix them and then they can meet your needs, et cetera. Lean into being seen as authentic over being good, and understanding the power of letting people sit with their decisions, letting people sit with what they've created, feeling into and knowing it's maybe not your responsibility to fix them. I think a lot of times also in relationship, if you're criticizing your partner or your friends, even in whatever kind of relationship it is, even a friendship, if you're criticizing other people, what you're doing is you're enabling a pattern inside of them, probably of a certain level of shame that's reflecting back that there's something wrong with them. But also it's creating that space. It's creating that space of that resistant energy. And most people learn more with presence and when you're able to hold space for someone to make a shift. To make a change inside of themselves. Someone says, fixing him broke me and then he dumped me. But understand that even by trying to fix him, yeah, so fixing him broke you. So probably what you're saying there is that trying to fix him, you had to abandon yourself to deplete your energy And once you did that, you may have even realized that this doesn't feel like a reciprocal relationship. And then what happened is maybe that relationship served its purpose. And understand, when you say he dumped you, let's be honest here, you dumped yourself the moment you chose him and tried fixing him. Can you recognize that? He only dumped you because you already dumped yourself. That's kind of hard to look at, isn't it? This is an interesting thing to look at for anybody that has the abandonment wound, that feels like other people are abandoning them. You've already abandoned yourself long before somebody else could leave you. You probably had to abandon yourself to even be in the relationship, to be in the dynamic. You had to abandon yourself to play the part of whatever that was, to put up with energy that wasn't reciprocal or balanced. So understand when you say fixing him broke me and then he dumped me, you dumped you before he dumped you. You abandoned yourself and he was just reflecting back that abandonment. Because anytime you're trying to fix someone else, you're enabling them, first off. It may not even be helping them, but also you're abandoning yourself and taking on their responsibility as a part of your project. And when you do that, it puts a burden on you and you abandon yourself. Yes, that's true. Fixing isn't the same as presence and coprocessing. I agree. Fixing, fixing, fixing. If you think about it, the way that I think about this is when I got certified in breathwork, one of the things that happened is you learn very quickly with being a breathwork practitioner that when you're walking around, if you're doing a live breathwork facilitation process, imagine you're in the middle of a process, you're feeling emotion, you're crying, you're laughing, you're yelling, you're releasing emotion, and then you look up and you see a practitioner that comes up to you that's like, "Are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you gonna be okay? Stop crying, stop crying." What happens is you would then not feel safe. You'd be like, am I doing something wrong? This person can't handle this. It's not okay for me to feel what I'm feeling. You try to suppress it or put it away or put it to the side. Now contrast that with the other side of the spectrum. You're feeling emotion, you're crying, you're laughing, you're yelling. And if you were to peek up, which isn't recommended by the way, If you were to peek up, someone's just walking by, just acknowledging, present, still not freaking out. It's okay. And as you see that, you feel even more relaxed, right? Well, that's the difference between these two energies. Anytime you try to fix someone else, it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to, it's okay. It's saying, I don't feel comfortable with the emotion that you feel. And then that person puts that and suppresses it even more inside the nervous system. So this is a huge part of the process. Now, by the way, as we, I'm gonna keep answering questions and everything, For those of you that don't know, we are starting a 21-day confidence love challenge starting on June 3rd. And we're gonna be doing live breathwork, live hot seat coaching. We're gonna be doing live meditations for tapping into the energy of group, the group power, group energy to help you become the most confident version of you where you're not chasing, you become more secure within your body, within your nervous system. Anxious and avoidant patterns can start to come into more homeostasis as you see that inner child part of you. And you'll start to feel more magnetic inside of your own frame of reality. Boundaries will be easier. You'll feel more empowered and you'll literally carry yourself differently. So if you do wanna join and you want me to send you an invite, respond CLC, stands for Confidence Love Challenge. CLC. I'm going to put it right here, and I'll send you the invite. So anyways, it's going to be fun. Pin comment. So comment CLC for the invite. Yeah, coconut, exactly. CLC or coconut. I'm just kidding, not coconut. I will not send you the invite if you say coconut because it will not automatically get sent to you. How often will you be live during the 21-day challenge? I'm gonna be going live 4 times. 3 hot seat coaching calls, 1 live breathwork. And then there's videos in between for wiring in certain things. It's a process. Nice. So if you have questions, go ahead and put in questions. How do you get out of thought loops? Well, the first thing to be aware of, if you want to get out of thought loops, the most important thing for you to do is to become aware of, first off, you're in a thought loop. So you're in a thought loop. Give me an example of a thought loop you might be in. Anyone can comment. What's a thought loop you might be in that just keeps coming up for you? If you're caught up in a thought loop, first off, become aware that you're in a thought loop. Secondly, realize you think thoughts, but you're not your thoughts. Just like you feel emotions, but you're not your emotions. You may have or think, you know, have a pattern of anxious or avoidant attachment. It's not who you are. So first thing, become aware of it. And then observe it instead of react to it. Though I'll tell you one way not to get outta the thought loop is try to control your thoughts to get outta the loop and say, I'm getting outta the thought loop, here we go. Once you let it be okay that you stay stuck in the thought loop, you let go of resistance and you observe it, it no longer has power over you. Someone says, "My thought loop is I think of an ex." Now realize you're thinking of the ex. That ex is not what you were actually thinking of. The ex is representative of a pattern that feels familiar. That kind of hurts because it's familiar to childhood. So many times when people say, "I can't stop thinking of an ex," It's because what they're really saying is, I can't stop thinking of this pattern that's unresolved. And this pattern that's unresolved has a symbol, and that ex is representative of that symbol. Now, the thing to become aware of is, is there a past version of you that feels that same way about mom or dad? You'll find many times it's a replayed pattern. Or if somebody— of an ex left you, or it didn't work out with an ex, what you might find is if you felt abandoned, you may have actually felt abandoned earlier on in life when you were a kid. And then guess what happens? If you felt abandoned as a kid and that feels familiar, then one of the reasons you may be thinking of your ex a lot is because that ex is representative of a pattern. And if that pattern was abandonment and mom or dad physically or emotionally abandoned you, then what happens is that energy feels familiar, but that's the unresolved part of you that wants healing. So when we talk about thought loops, understanding the thought loops that come up is there's a message there. There's a message. And that message is for you to look at an inner child part of you that feels unresolved from the past. The ex or whatever the thought loop is, is reflective in your life because there's a deeper part of you that your consciousness is asking you to connect to. Does that make sense? It says, my thought loop is I always feel stuck in life. "I always feel." Now let me ask you this question, Ashley. Do you really always feel stuck in life? If I was like, I want you to comment right now what your thought loop is, and you put your thought loop in there and you say you always feel stuck in life, you're not stuck around putting a comment out about how you feel stuck. Now it might sound silly for me to say, but understand, that our beliefs many times aren't accurate. I always feel stuck in life. There, Ashley, I would bet you there is an area of your life where you don't feel stuck. Some area of your life. It may not be conscious awareness in this moment, but there is, which means it's not true. But the thought loop may be a dominant pattern in your life that you feel stuck. But understand that many times when people feel stuck, what really is stuck is some label or definition that feels familiar. We're being stubborn about reality. As a kid, did it feel familiar to feel stuck or to feel like you don't have it figured out? Could you soothe that inner child part of you and realize that as an adult, it may be a reflection of that energy. Let's see. So does that make sense? By the way, the thought loop. So someone said, how do we get out of the thought loop? Become aware of you're in a thought loop. Observe the thoughts. Don't try to control it. Let it be okay that you stay in the thought loop. As an example of someone saying they can't stop thinking about their ex, let it be okay. Literally, let it be okay. Observe and realize that that ex represents a pattern. But as you let it be okay, you release resistance. Remember, you think thoughts, but you're not your thoughts. As you let those be though, you'll find that you release resistance because resistance is what keeps the pattern intact. So it keeps it active. So like when we started this live, how do I get rid of an anxious or an avoidant attachment style? And the answer is you don't. You don't get rid of it because there's an aspect of your consciousness that feels that way. And if you were to try to get rid of the inner child avoidant or the inner child anxious, that would reinforce the same problem of shame. Instead, you integrate that aspect of you. You meet that aspect of you. You are present in the witnessing of the anxious or avoidant part of you, and you start to develop trust with them. So, so a lot of this is recognizing these different patterns inside of yourself and realizing you think patterns, you have patterns. You're not your patterns though. You guys wanna hear random offshoot? You guys wanna hear? So, okay, you've heard me talk about this. I did a 2-week social media detox and screen detox about, a month ago. It was life-changing, frickin' life-changing, okay? And basically what I did is I stopped consuming, I stopped being addicted to my phone, I wasn't watching Netflix at night, I wasn't— even when I went to the gym, I was using an iPod and I was writing down my workouts in a journal. I went hard. I didn't even listen to music for the first week. Then what happens? I have this crazy breakthrough. I'm sleeping incredibly deep every night. My dreams are of a higher quality. I feel more connected to my spirit than ever. I'm getting gave me more insights like freaking crazy. Then I come back to Cali and slowly but surely I started falling back into old patterns. Started being on my phone a little bit more. I was like, I could watch a show here and there. And then I woke up, I woke up yesterday and I was like, man, I have fallen back into old patterns. And what I did is I'm back on that now. I'm back on not consuming content. I'm creating content right now. This is me creating content. I woke up this morning, I meditate, I do not check my phone really at all. I get back to a few things, but I'm not unconsciously scrolling. I'm not in Instagram scrolling. I'm not like watching things on YouTube. And I realize that I'm just so much more clear and happy and present when I don't do that. And I know by my level of sleep and my quality of my dreams, I'm a huge, I love my dreams and I love my sleep. Now this reminds me, 'cause somebody asked me at my live event recently, like, how do I create permanent change? And at the time I just came off my 2-week social media detox and I was like, well, little changes, if you try to go all the way, it's not sustainable. Little changes like meditate every single day for 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes at night, or 10 minutes in the morning, 10 at night, that will change your life. I almost guarantee, I mean, I guarantee it. Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, observe your thoughts and create mind and heart coherence. Your life will change. And also you exist more in an alpha brainwave state when you, like you're patterning yourself to move back to alpha, which is where you have more influence over your subconscious mind. And most people are in beta. When you're on your phone, you're in beta, okay? When you're reacting and you're comparing yourself to other people on Instagram and you're scrolling, you're in beta. And when you're in beta, you're reactive and you're being programmed. You're just like reacting to things. So what I did is I recognized, so here's my epiphany since that live event I explained my social media detox and how I'm gonna be consciously consuming. I'm gonna consciously consume. That was my, that's what I'm gonna do, right? Watch a show here and there, be on my phone sometimes, but I'm not gonna unconsciously scroll on Instagram. What I found for me is it is a slippery slope, bro. It is a slippery slope. I'm like, I'm just gonna be on my phone for this amount of time. And then I just, I get sucked. I mean, literally these apps and this phone is, primed to keep you in it. And while these, these social media things can be great ways to connect, and you can connect on Instagram in beautiful ways, the other side of that though is if you get— if you can use the tool or the tool can use you. And what I found for myself is it's a slippery slope in Instagram and my phone because I end up getting used by the tool. So I woke up yesterday and I was like, ah, I did it again. I got caught in an old pattern. And instead of beating myself up, I just made the switch again. I do my phone on this like really red light. There's this setting in the iPhone to turn it to where instead you can go to black and white or it can go into this red light thing that's like obnoxious. And I just leave that on all the time. And I put my phone on airplane mode all the time. And then last night I turned off my Wi-Fi, keep my phone outta my room, turned off Wi-Fi. Like there's a thing with Wi-Fi in the house also, it affects your energy field. I tested that out, slept really deep, but it could have just been 'cause I wasn't on my phone at all yesterday. But understand that your attention is probably one of the most valuable things And when your mind is scattered, you're looking around and scrolling, your attention is just, oh my gosh, this is not good. So, but this is a symbol, by the way, for how to shift in your life in general too, because even me who's talking about patterns, teaching patterns, running live events and talking about this, I fall back in old patterns too. But instead of, what I do though is I recognize it's a pattern and then I make the, I switch again. And what I realized to keep it permanent is anytime I wanna create a permanent shift in my life, I have to raise my standard. And you can apply this by the way towards your relationships. You can apply this to dating. You can apply this to patterns you have with your diet. Your willpower, et cetera, there has to be some consistent raise in standard. And the standard, you want to be representative of an energy. So the standard for me is there is a different, I notice my energy is more on point, I'm more magnetic, I'm more charismatic, I'm more present when I'm not in my phone so much. And what I have to do is I have to raise my standard. If you think about this in the form of relationships, Let's say your standard is you attract narcissists, controlling people, and toxic people that drain you. And you've tolerated that for a long period of time. It's normal and familiar for you to be in those dynamics. Well, guess what? To raise your standard may mean one or two different things. One, you have a new standard for relationship, which is that you don't overextend yourself, you don't try to fix, You don't hold and suppress an energy. You actually, in your dynamics, in your relationships, you only have what are called, or you strive for reciprocal relationships. Reciprocal means it's balanced, give and take. It's balanced like present energy and it's reciprocal. It matches. And what happens is if a relationship is not that, you have, one, the courage to express yourself and to say how you feel or what you're seeing, or two, you have the courage to walk away. And what I recommend is that that's your new standard. The standard of relationship is that I no longer tolerate a certain level of energy, toxic dynamics, being drained, feeling responsible. The reason you stay in those dynamics normally is 'cause you feel responsible. So you raise your standard. Now, the reason I say raise standards in a healthy way, sometimes when you say dating, raising standards in dating, sometimes what can happen is you could say, I have such high standards in dating. I only date this, this, this, this, this, and I have a long laundry list. But if that long laundry list is rooted in superficiality, that's one way to stay single. 'Cause there's so many things that they have to check off the list. And every person you see, you're deciding, is this person good enough? Is this person good enough? Is this person good enough? And understand that when you put out an energy is, I'm judging them, are they good enough? I'm judging them, are they good enough? What you end up doing is you end up being judged yourself. You attract people that are also judging you 'cause whatever you put out is what you get back. So if you really, really, really high standards to superficial things, guess what? You're gonna attract other people that have really high standards and that one little freckle you have is against the standard, then guess what? You're out. You attract the energy you're putting out. So whereas raising your standards can be good, There's some people that I know that I can see there's a certain standard, and that's why I say root it more in energy. When you're dating or you're meeting people, what is the energy dynamic that feels healthy and reciprocal that also feels good, that lifts you up, or that you feel alive around instead of it being superficial? Does that make sense? So standards are good, but standards rooted in energy and values are much deeper than standards rooted in superficiality and things that are really on the surface. Does that make sense? I think sometimes that'll be a pattern that avoidants have to also stay single. Because there's always a re— it's always them. They're always— this is the thing with avoidance many times that stay single for a long period of time is because the problem is always them. But it's funny though, because then also anxious people with an anxious attachment pattern also say that the pattern, they could be in a relationship, but it's always them, the avoidance, that are the problem. Everyone's always the— everyone else is always the problem. Isn't that funny and sad at the same time? But the story is it's them, it's them, it's them. And if it's always them, that story is also, when you say them, by the way, I know I sound like a broken record when I say this, but bring this back to mom and dad. Was mom or dad them? And now your partner is them. It's a pattern. We attract them. Familiar patterns. Does that make sense? So a lot of times the breakthrough is on the other round of vulnerability. Top 5 books, good question. I think I'm— would you, would you all want me to make a top 20, top 50, top 10 book list? I've been thinking of doing that. Number one all-time book that I've been talking a lot about is Autobiography of a Yogi. I'm like, literally, I read it every night, parts of it. I love it. Let me know. Let's see. Good question here. So if I walk away from someone who was engrossed in his own priorities versus listening to my appeals as a partner, is he abandoning himself because I'm walking away or is it just me stopping to abandon myself? So that's an interesting question. So if you walk away from someone who was engrossed in his own priority, so it sounds like you set a standard or you set a boundary and maybe that boundary includes non-reciprocal relationships is what it sounds like. And what you're wondering is, is he abandoning himself because you are walking away or is it me abandoning? So either way, what my answer to this is, either way, it doesn't really matter. I will say, because the thing is, is that your job, if you look at something called Alfred Adlerian psychology, it's a powerful branch of psychology. He's one of the grandfathers of psychology up there with Carl Jung and Freud. They're like the three amigos. He talks a lot about this thing called separation of tasks, where you become aware of what is your task and what is their task. And what happens is all problems and challenges in life are interrelational, that are relational dramas have come from overextending or infringing on other people's tasks, either taking on their tasks asserting yourself with their tasks. And ultimately, the only thing you have the ability to have control over, if you want to use that word, is your tasks, which is how you feel about you and what values you choose to live by. What they do and what they think is their stuff. It is their stuff. You've set a boundary. Maybe it doesn't resonate to be in that unreciprocal relationship, anymore. However, whether he, probably there is some, there could be some form of abandonment that he's doing by letting you walk away, but it could be, but that's not your thing to manage. And also that could just be a part of you that just wants to rationalize and to avoid feeling abandoned. Does that make sense? It's trying to find closure. It's like trying to find out why why someone feels a certain way. Like, I just wanna know why. Like, have you ever had that happen before where someone in your life maybe stops talking to you or something and you're like, I just wanna know why. I just wanna know why, why? And you're like, why do they not wanna be friends anymore? Why? And that why, wanting to know why, It's like there's a part of us that thinks if I know why, then I can change something about me. When maybe there doesn't need to be a why. There's certain times of your life you will resonate with certain people and there's certain times where you won't resonate with certain people and it's okay either way. Does that make sense? The why, wanting to know why is wanting to know Could be just curiosity, but a lot of times it's because if I know, then I can know whether I'm worthy or not, whether I can change it or not, etc. Does that make sense? So it doesn't matter. Let him do— let him— let him do his thing. Let you do your thing. You've not chosen him as well because you said you walked away, right? So just Own that. And it doesn't have to be so personal. Something else I was thinking about the other day. Have you ever recognized like, okay, so you know how we were talking about the perpetrator, victim, rescuer dynamic? Sometimes in traffic, have you ever caught yourself where if somebody cuts you off or something, you go, oh my, you know, like there's this energy and it's almost like there's this payoff for being the victim to somebody else that cuts you off. And one thing I become aware of inside of myself is the awareness of when it's like somebody cuts you off or somebody did something wrong and you could say, oh, this, I can't believe it. This payoff you get for being the victim. But if you refuse to be the victim and also you refuse to take it personal, if someone cuts you off, you can choose whether that's like, "He or she cut me off in traffic." You can choose to internalize that or not. May have nothing to do with you. But do you see in the same way when you're talking about, we're talking about these things that are very intimate, like relational dynamics, of course, it's like the more we, the story that fuels it and the internalization of it has a big energy that we want to resolve. But it's like, you know, it's like Eckhart, I remember Eckhart Tolle was talking about that. So when it comes to betrayal, right? Someone has asked about betrayal. How do I get over betrayal? And he was like, whoa, betrayal. Heavy, heavy word. He or she betrayed me. And that story, that energy creates a lot of weight that then you have to get over and get through. But what if at the deepest level it's a pattern and it's not as personal as you think? Doesn't it make it easier understanding that that person that betrayed you also probably had to betray themselves to even be in the dynamic. But also, if it's not so personal, it's a pattern. Maybe that person learned the betraying pattern and is playing out that pattern, but it's not so personal. I felt betrayed in the past, different things that happened, and there was a part where I had to acknowledge anger. I had to acknowledge certain emotions and energies. But then eventually at the deepest levels of forgiveness, like Eckhart Tolle says, there's nothing to forgive because the person that did it, it came out of an unconscious pattern. It wasn't the divine essence of the person in their most majestic form that betrayed you. It was an unconscious pattern that they probably learned as a survival mechanism to get by. Now it doesn't make it right, but it does help you understand it was the pattern, not the person, which gets confusing 'cause then people are like, well, what about accountability? You can still hold people accountable. Doesn't mean you have to go be in the relationship again, but there's different levels of healing along the journey. One of the levels is you let yourself feel what you feel, you acknowledge the anger and the hurt, but then eventually you can acknowledge that ultimately it was a pattern and it's not as personal. That's where the presence awareness of the part of you that was hurt, The ego part of you that wants to be right and that wants that other person to feel pain, that's the ego. Does this make sense? So in the Confidence Love Challenge that starts on June 3rd, these are different things we're gonna be exploring. So if you wanna become the most confident version of you, if you wanna release codependent patterns, if you wanna feel more secure in your attachment pattern, if you wanna take down the masculine shield or the feminine shield that's blocking love from your life, you wanna learn how to live within your own frame of reality, if you wanna learn how to really embody magnetic energy, I'm gonna show you how to do it through live hot seat coaching, videos that show you exactly what to do with accountability inside of it, with a group of people where we're all going through the process together, and breathwork as well for releasing the emotion and energies. And if you wanna join, All you gotta do is comment CLC onto this post or this, in this chat, CLC, which stands for Confidence Love Challenge. I'll send you the invite. And it starts on June 3rd. I'll be going live 4 times throughout it. Normally the lives I think are on Mondays around 11 o'clock Central time or 9 o'clock Pacific time. There will be replays. And if you join right now as well, there's lifetime, you'll get lifetime access, replays, everything. If you type in CLC. So anyways, I appreciate all of you being here. Do you guys want me to go live more often here on Instagram? Let me know. This is fun. I don't know how long this video was. I'd say like 35, 40 minutes. I'm also doing something where I record. I realize when I do these lives, I get into a massive flow state. So I'm like, how can I just recreate this content? Because before, I've gone through so much of a mix of like I'm only doing content when I make, when I go run live events and I love running live events and I'm gonna continue doing those, but I also like just fricking hanging out with you guys sometimes. And then I'm like, well, what if I just record it and I got this good microphone right here, put it on YouTube or something? We'll see. I'm just finding ways of flowing with content. Oh, this is 47 minutes. I went live for 47 minutes today. Phil, how long does this feel? It felt like 20 minutes to me. Why? 'Cause it's fun, huh? Imagine in the 21-day challenge, we're gonna be going live for about 2 hours a day. The lives will be about 2 hours. And it's like where I hot seat coach people, meaning I bring people up. I don't really hot seat coach people here because it's not as easy to bring people up. And something else I'm getting more into that I'll be doing soon is more live meditations, group energy meditations. I feel like it's part of my soul mission, honestly. Mind and heart coherence, group energy. The live events I do, we're gonna be focused more on it. Anyways, those are my insights. Um, would love to see you without a beard. You would not. You think you would. But I think I look better with a beard. I'm actually going to get my beard trimmed in about an hour, so I'll trim it, but it's not going away. Okay, I like my beard, and how I feel about me is more important. Sorry. Yeah, live meditations, we will be focusing more on, and Let's see what else. I've had a lot of insights recently. So my insights are no phone, huge. You wanna transform your life? Just don't go on your phone for a day. Don't, no screen time, no Netflix, no YouTube, nothing. Watch how many insights you get. Watch how much clear and present you feel. Watch how magnetic your energy is. You know, I was reading, I was listening to something about Paramahansa Yogananda, who I've been fascinated with lately, 'cause I've been rereading this like a lot. And somebody that was one of his devotees from back in the day, 'cause he was around in like the 1930s to 1950s in the States or whatever. And they said that he, you know, you think of these enlightened gurus and you think of them like so calm and present and they just psychically connect to your third eye and magic happens, right? Some of these people, some of what I've heard in listening to this one person talk, he was extremely magnetic. He talked with a lot of energy and he was very charismatic. He wasn't this soft little timid guy that's like, hey, just, you know, very like, he's very, he had a lot of magnetic energy, a lot of energy. And I think we all, but it was one of the levels of Kriya yoga, which is what he talks a lot about, which is not a lot of information about Kriya yoga. I'm super fascinated by it. But one of the things from some of the information I've got recently, 'cause I've been studying it, is a lot of it is about inner magnetism. It's about inner magnetism, connecting to your own inner energy, the control of energy, having magnetic energy, and your awareness of energy are like the three parts of it. Which a lot of the things I've been learning in this book are gonna be in the live calls that I do because there's certain lessons and ideas and energy practices that I find to be so powerful especially with meditation. So anyways, yeah, I'm a huge fan of that book. And I have, I went to the bookstore yesterday now that I'm not on my phone so much, and I took photo of like my top 20 books. I found all my top 20 books and took photos of them. So I might put them here and I might put them into a longer PDF that explained why I like each book. Would you like that? Let me know. Anyways, I'm just kind of like rambling now. Anyways, yeah, we'll be doing more live meditation soon. I'm just rambling. I need to go— I need to go get a beard trim. Anyways, I'll talk to you guys soon. I'll probably go live— what's today? Sunday. I won't go live because I'm gonna be filming content on Sunday. I'll probably go live maybe Monday-ish. We'll see. Keep your eye out. Other than that, I'll talk to you guys later. Peace, much love, and namaste.