How To Let Go & Be Good Either Way

Imagine a version of you that is not attached to outcome. Imagine a version of you that isn't trying to control reality, that doesn't care what people think, because that version of you knows that what other people think about you, you can choose whether you internalize it or not. Imagine a version of you that is good either way. This is a mantra that I shared recently on Instagram 'cause it's been transforming my life with different areas, whether it's my business or it's relationships, whatever it is. When I tap into the energy of I'm good either way, there's no increased importance, there's no resistance that's created, and there's no control because there's no expectation of outcome. And in an interesting way, when we want someone to think a certain way, or to feel a certain way, we create resistance and control. And anytime you feel control, you probably repel it. Am I right? I know the other day I was at a, I was going to shop for something. And when I went there, there was this person that really wanted me to buy something. And I used to work in sales, so I get it. But I remember when I used to sell women's shoes, if I was helping customers and I was good whether they bought or not, and I was focused on connecting to them and adding value, it was like I would have so many positive experiences because the energy was not attached. People could feel I wasn't trying to get something out of them, and that feels authentic. So what if there was a way for you to realize that control is the ego's desire to stay in familiar energy? It's a survival mechanism. And what if you could shift out of that survival mechanism and you could start allowing the divine to flow through? There's a huge shift in epiphany that I've had recently off this simple metaphor of understanding a plant and whether we can really make a plant grow. This is— it sounds silly, but think about it. Can you make a plant grow? I heard this on a podcast recently and it completely changed my perspective around attachment and letting go. Can you make a plant grow? And you might say, yes, I can. I can water it and I can take care of it and I have a green thumb and I can make a plant grow. And when you really think about it, it's like, okay, well, you can set up the conditions for the plant to grow, but deep down, is it really you that grows the plant? Can you force a plant to grow? I would say, that the divine or God is what allows that plant to grow. The DNA of it, you could say, the, the natural purpose of it, it desires to grow. The plant is what is growing. It's what's doing the work. It's— but there's a consciousness inside of it. But you see, the reason this makes it so much easier to understand when it comes to attachment is because a lot of times we're trying to make the business grow. We're trying to make stuff happen. We're trying to make relationships work with force, make people like us, forcing the plant to grow. When you let go and you allow and you just set up the conditions and you allow God to flow through, that's where the magic is. And when you begin applying this in your life in different ways, this is where everything changes. So what you will see is this video that you're about to watch is from a live that I did on Instagram right here. It takes on a life of its own. I kind of start off talking about, you know, attachment, feeling chosen, these different energies, but really allow yourself to apply it and watch. There's like a, it kind of, the energy builds as the live goes on and connect to it and see what is the biggest insight for you and share the insight that you have in the comments from this live. It took on a life of its own. It shows you step by step. How to let go of control. It shows you how to be good either way. It shows you that there is power in allowing the divine to flow through. It shares examples for how you can apply this in your life and how you can wire in and decrease importance you give things, knowing that when you begin questioning these desires in the first place, you begin to become free and then things happen easier than ever. So this is what you're gonna learn. So stick into this video and watch what happens when you get to apply some of the insights and comment below what your top insight was. And I'll see you on the inside. Can you make a plant grow? This was a powerful realization that I had recently while I was watching a friend of mine's podcast. And the idea was, can you make a plant grow? And we could think about that and you're like, hmm. Well, yeah, I have a green thumb. I can water a plant. I could put the plant in the sun if it needs more sun. I could pull the weeds around the plant. And when you really think about it, though, is it really you that grows the plant? Now, the reason this is such a powerful realization is upon realizing it, The truth is you can't make a plant grow. You can't force a plant to grow, just like you can't force your business to grow. You can't force people to like you. You can't make someone fall in love with you. And the same way that you can't make a plant grow, because what is it making the plant grow? What is it? It's, you could say, God, the divine, the DNA, the consciousness of the plant. Now, the powerful realization of this though is that if you can't make a plant grow, and if the divine is what's doing it, then the only thing you have the ability to do is to nurture the plant, to water it, pull the weeds, plant put it in the sun, et cetera. Now, in the same way, when you think about it, when you're attached to outcome, it's like trying to make the plant grow. When there's an attachment to outcome, it's like, okay, my goal is I'm gonna grow my business. My goal is that I'm going to, subconsciously, it's like get people's approval. You don't have that ability. The ability you have is just to be the most authentic version of you, to do your best. But in that realization, there's an allowance of divine energy to flow through. And there's a realization that that's not something you can control. So it's a huge epiphany. I was talking about this to a friend yesterday 'cause I was kind of sharing this insight and just how, pivotal it is when it comes to letting go of outcome and allowing the divine to flow through. And you know, like when you think of people with a green thumb, you guys know what a green thumb is? A green thumb, someone that's like, that's good at growing plants. Someone that's good at growing plants and keeping plants alive, et cetera. If they were like, if they thought they were the ones and they were responsible for keeping the plants alive, there would be pressure. And then people get frustrated. Like, I don't, I wish I had a green thumb, I don't. Well, you think you're trying to, your job is to grow the plants. It's not. That's the divine's job. And the more you try to, like, my friend shared this 'cause he said he used to grow, he used to grow like legal, stuff back in the day. And he said that when you would, when you would go in and you would try to tailor it to like yield more and you would try to meddle with it and mess with it a lot, it would stress the plant out and it wouldn't yield as much. Then when he would just let it do its thing and go on vacation, he'd come back, there'd be all these plants grown. I thought that was interesting. And what happens is a lot of times we think it's us that's growing the plants. It's our job to get results. It's our job to grow the business, to make more money. It's our job to get approval and validation or like make someone fall in love with you or something. That's not your job. It reminds me of a— I've said that, shared this before, but there's a Mac Dre song, believe it or not, that's called It's Not My Job. He's a Bay Area like rapper. Some of you'd be surprised I'm even sharing this reference if you knew who he was, but it's not my job. And it's completely on a completely different context of the song. But I think of that sometimes like, oh, it's not my job. It's not my job to grow the plant. It's not my job. When you focus on the outcome of trying to take on God's work or the divine's job, you create pressure. Because imagine that pressure is for you to get a specific result. That pressure is for you to do these things that then it just, it creates that pressure that then blocks it. Yeah, see, I was not expecting you to shout out Mac Dre. Yeah, the unknown. So if you have questions, go ahead and put them in. I'm gonna be answering questions around letting go. Around not forcing because you realize it's not your job. It's not your job to make things happen. I've realized that the best I can do, like when I'm running, we'll talk about this for a minute, like decreasing the level of importance for something. You can only really be a perfectionist if your focus is on the outcome. Part of it is you believe there's an outcome. And it needs to be perfect, and that perfect outcome is reflective of my self-worth. That's deeper what's happening with perfectionism. But when you realize that it's never really done, it's like back in 2017, I started making daily videos on YouTube. Guess what happened? Could I be a perfectionist if I was making a video one day And then the next day I made another video. And then the day after that I made another video. I'd start to be a perfectionist, but I'm like, it doesn't matter. I gotta make daily videos. I committed to this. And guess what? That perfectionism goes away. That perfectionism couldn't really be there because I'm taking so much action that it almost overwhelms the perfectionist mentality. But also every video I would view as I'm getting better, and more in alignment with what I'm sharing. So a big epiphany has been me running more live events allows me to get into the energy state and learning how to be more dynamic and how to like, you know, have more fun on stage and stuff like that. That is a better energy process that allows me to express myself. And from that, better results come. I get more content, I enjoy myself more, people have bigger breakthroughs. So do you see the difference there? One is focused on outcome and one is putting pressure on a certain outcome. One is literally trying to milk reality to give me what I want. And then the other one is not attached and realizes you can decrease importance, decrease resistance, by taking more action, because it's not about the results, it's about the process and allowing the divine to flow through, which is also a huge epiphany. Does that make sense? So yeah, Katrina says, as soon as I let go, positive things come to me. Happens a lot. Part of the reason is when you are attached, you create resistance. When you are attached, there is an expectation. And a powerful thing I've been teaching at live events is that when you have an expectation of someone else, what happens? You have an expectation of how someone else responds to you, etc. What ends up happening is there's almost like a resistance in your energy and a way that you want them to be, which is control. And what happens energetically when someone wants you to be a certain way? What do you do? Do you do it willingly? You resist. And that energy is almost, it almost repels you from actually doing whatever it is that person wants. Because you wanna be your own being. But really subconsciously too, you just feel the control and you repel, you resist. So letting go is letting, like, here's the thing, think about this. When it comes to, if you want someone to choose you, think about this. If you want someone to choose you and you are attached to whether they choose you or not, What you're doing is you're wanting them and there's resistance around them giving you something. And remember, we feel energetically anytime someone wants something from us, we repel and resist giving it because you can feel the desire, you can feel in a way the manipulation. So in an interesting way, you're not even allowing people to choose you because you're trying to make them choose you and they want to do the opposite. Of whatever you try to get them to do. Just like if you go to a sales store and someone really wants to help you and they want you to buy something, you can feel the agenda there. It repels you. So a huge epiphany happens when you realize you are actually blocking people from choosing you because you're demanding or expecting them to, which creates resistance. And if you are good either way, You then allow them to choose you. Does this make sense? So you're literally not allowing it. Think about that, because people that say, oh, they want to be chosen, you're not allowing yourself to be. Be honest with yourself. By you expecting them to choose you, you're creating the resistance And it's a form of control. And you could say it's a standard or something, but it's only resistance in the field. You only feel that resistance because there's the expectation and the desire for them to give you something that you're not doing with yourself. And if you choose you, you're then good either way, whether they choose you or not. But then you allow them to choose you. It's a powerful thing when you have like a perspective about something and you want someone to agree with you. If you're attached to the outcome of what they think, they'll feel that resistance and subconsciously block their own realization of it. Even if it's the right thing, if it's the right thing or like the thing that they would normally agree with. When you let go, you allow them to come to their own conclusion. So a big part of this is just realizing that control is an ego, mechanism that is being created because there was some form of pain in the past. And what happens is when you let go of that control mechanism, you let go of resistance. You then allow yourself to trust and you allow yourself to step into the unknown, which is where all magic happens. So a lot of this is realizing that trust is a way of manipulating— or not trust, control is a way of manipulating the universe. And even manipulating other people if you expect something from them. Now, something powerful to do is to begin connecting to the divine, being connecting to God. When you allow that to happen, it's like you, you don't have to do it all. Like when I run live events, a big part of it is I step into the unknown 'cause I'm coaching people on stage. I'm jumping into like, the more I can trust the unknown, the more magic happens. The more I try to control to get good content or to control to like get someone to break through, which is also like a fixer savior identity. The more resistance is created. But the more there's trust there, the trust is something that comes. Trust is an act of surrender. And the thing is, is when people have controlled outcome, tried to control outcome, or thought that their actions were relevant to like the outcome for so long, then it's like, what do I need to do? I remember when I went to a Tony Robbins event in 2019, there was this thing called a primary question. Like, what is your primary question that you're always asking in your head? And I thought about that, and we all have different primary questions. And I realized that my question was, what do I need to do? What do I need to do? What do I need to do? I was literally always asking myself, what do I need to do next? What do I need to do every day? Like, what do I need to do? How do I need to— Everything was around doing. And I realized that my self-worth was around what do I do? Everything in my life was surrounded by this what do I do energy. And I realized that as a kid, there was a part of me that realized I am worthy if I am doing a lot. I am worthy if I can, take a lot of action and add value to people. It was around doing. But remember, but then realize that if it's always around what you do, there was also a shadow side to that because I would always keep myself really busy. It's like I literally couldn't have a day off from the gym, a day off from working without feeling good about myself. Like without actually, without actually, like I'd have to do something and then I could relax. So yeah, it was like almost like I'm not worthy. Now here's the thing about worthy though. Here's a perspective about worthy that is a little bit more different than probably what you expect me to say or like you've heard. Like a lot of people think like when it comes to worthiness, You think that if you don't feel worthy, the key is to say, I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy, and reprogram yourself to believe you're worthy. I actually believe there's something more powerful than that. If you have to say, I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy, it's playing under the concept of worthiness, which is a human concept. I am worthy, I am unworthy. Now let's ask the question, is a baby worthy? Now, I actually am gonna change my perspective of what I've said before. I've said, and I've used this at live events where I have people hold a baby and say, is this baby worthy? What does this baby have to do to be worthy? You might say, well, of course, Aaron, the baby doesn't do anything. The baby is worthy 'cause it exists. And I'd say, yes, the baby is worthy 'cause it exists. The baby doesn't have to do anything to be worthy. Doesn't have to like cry not that often or look a certain way or make cute gestures to be worthy. Of course, that sounds ridiculous, right? But at a certain point in our past, we decided I'm not worthy, something wrong with me. And then we live with that subconsciously under the surface for a very long period of time. But here's the thing, that can be a powerful lesson, but I actually believe We are both not worthy and worthy. We're neither. It's a concept. It's a concept. So it's both not worthy or worthy. It's the other side of the coin. But in truth, everything just exists. What if you didn't have to prove being worthy? What if you didn't have to do affirmations and say, I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy? Because guess what? The baby doesn't go, I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I'm worthy. The baby doesn't even say, I'm not worthy. But as it grows up and it starts to develop its brain, it might decide, oh, there's something wrong with me. You are both worthy and not worthy at the same time. Now, the reason this is such a powerful understanding is because then you can stop the trap of personal development where you believe that you are only worthy if you say the affirmations, if you do a lot of things, or if you have certain spiritual insights, then you can be worthy, then you can allow the relationship. This is a paradox. What if you let go of needing to be worthy at all? Because it's a concept. You are worthy and not worthy at the same time. It's a neutral idea. Everything in reality, like, is that plant worthy? Does that plant over there have to go, "I am worthy," I am worthy, I am worthy. No, it just exists. We could say that God doesn't make mistakes. If something exists, it's meant to exist and therefore it has its own worth. It's worthy 'cause it exists, not 'cause of what it does. The rose isn't only worthy if it releases a certain fragrance. Doesn't worry or have to like do affirmations to release a certain fragrance, it just does. It just does. And a huge, powerful transformation can happen when you start to accept yourself and to realize that you both are worthy and are not worthy at the same time. Now, the benefit of this is that also you don't get caught in spiritual superiority that can happen when the spiritual ego starts to come into play. Because what happens is if you don't feel worthy, this is what happens a lot of times. With people that don't feel worthy from childhood, you can try to become worthy in a certain area of your life. Grow a big business. I'm now worthy. Work on yourself. Then you can become more worthy. But then there's a lot of other people subconsciously that may not be worthy, but you're better than them. Because you're better than them, you're not not worthy. But that's playing in the realm of hierarchy and grandiosity to get rid of an uncomfortable shame emotion. This could be the trap too of like raising vibration. I want to raise my vibration so it's so high and then it's not like all those people asleep in the matrix. You see the difference? That creates a spiritual ego. So the reason I say this is this whole entire Q&A and talk has been around Does the plant— do you grow the plant? Can you make the plant grow? It's not you that grows the plant. The plant grows because that's its nature, because there's God flowing through it. And your job is just to water it or to let nature do its thing. Think about that. Obviously, you bring a plant inside your house, you might have to water it, but Look at all this. There's so much life around. We did not do any of this. Did I— did any of us have to grow— did any of us have to grow these plants? In nature, it just naturally happens. So a big epiphany happens when you realize that you're not the one that's growing the plants. The plants just grow. The divine flows through. Your job is to water the plant and your job is to maybe pull the weeds around the plant, but your job is not to grow it. God does that. And when you let go of outcome and you let go of believing that it's your job, you allow the divine to flow through and you can then surrender to something greater than you. And that's where exactly the divine flows through you. So in the same way that we did not grow any of these plants, realize that you can let go of outcome and realize when it comes to worthy, not worthy, and worthy, you are both not worthy and worthy at the same time. You are actually neither. You just exist. These are human concepts we use. But if you're not trying to fight yourself to be worthy, you're not creating resistance. Just like we know a baby is both not worthy and worthy at the same time. You could say the baby is worthy. We're just agreeing the baby is worthy. You realize that, right? The baby's not listening to affirmations in its head going, "I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I'm worthy." The baby just has, you could say the baby is worthy 'cause it exists, but that's also a human concept. Just like the plants don't sit around and go, "I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy," so that they can grow. They just do it. And in the same way, the traps we get caught up in is we create spiritual grandiosity when we're like, I am the one, I'm going to become worthy through what I achieve. If I can prove myself to you, then I will be more worthy. Do you see? Would you say that this frees you up to enjoy the process? What about goals? That's a great question. Yeah, what do you think? Do you think it frees you up to believe that you are not the one that's growing the plant? That there's a divine intelligence that flows through you. Now, when you have goals, the goals that I have are created around becoming and embodying a certain energy. So now that I'm running more live events, which remember decreases importance, there's no one importance around any one live event I do, I'm chopping wood and carrying water. Chopping wood and carrying water allows me to focus not on just what I'm doing, but realizing that that's also what I love. But where people get caught up is they focus on outcome, outcome, outcome, which creates resistance, resistance, resistance, which also is in the belief that there even is an outcome. It's a never-ending process of refinement, of learning, of process. Like when I got on YouTube back in the day, If I made one video every 3 months, a lot of pressure, a lot of outcome. But if I'm making videos every day, there's always tomorrow for me to refine, to learn, to iterate. Does that make sense? Does affirmations help? It can, but I'm not a big proponent of, I mean, affirmations I guess can rewire your mind. But what if everything we're talking about today is the difference between the ego and the presence within you? The ego wants to control. The ego wants to resist and it wants to create familiar dynamics to childhood. The ego believes it has to do in order to be worthy. There is presence and the God energy that flows through you that doesn't have to do. This is the energy you can surrender and let go to that then will bring you all the things you wanna create in your life. It comes from a state of consciousness and an energy not from focusing on control. This is why I don't, I don't talk about manifestation any longer. There is a level, and manifestation can be very powerful to learn, but it's a certain level of consciousness also where when you're trying to create from an egoic perspective, there's this energy of you are the one doing it. I'm going to visualize what I want and I'm going to create it in my life. But it's a limitation because that's the ego's desire to control. The ego wants to control and it wants to create familiar dynamics to childhood. The ego wants to be able to say, I manifested this and I manifested that. No, you didn't. God did that. The divine did that. You just became a vessel. And by chopping wood and carrying water and adding value to other people, and having a pure intention, it comes to you. But if you— the thing with manifestation is it's for many people, it's a mode of control. They're trying to control reality. Isn't it a great thought that I can think about what I want? I can feel it as if it's here now, and then I can create it in my life. I think about it and then I have the certainty I experience it, or I have more safety in the experiencing of it. But what does that do? That's a way of predicting and knowing that in the— I get safety because in the unknown, I've already thought about it and felt it and visualized it. Now I can experience it. But what I'm saying is that's the ego's desire to stay in familiar energy to the past. God flows through you when you embrace the unknown and the more you trust, the more you allow it to happen in maybe even a better way than your ego can construct. Does this make sense? So the question is, and the thing that we look at at live events is, who is asking the question? What does the ego want? The ego wants familiar energies, survival. The ego wants to feel like it's in control because the thing is, is when you've been through childhood stuff, it's like I've been through— in the unknown, there was pain. If I can control, then I can expect what happens or I can have an influence, then I can avoid pain. But what we end up doing is we end up creating resistance and we end up creating the belief that your ego has to do everything. Your ego does not have to do this. In fact, what I would say is that the more you can surrender your ego and connect to the presence inside of you, the more magic will happen in your life. Yeah, and affirmations, by the way, they can be powerful. Incantations like Tony Robbins speak about moving and working out. Absolutely, you can change your state. What I am offering you the invitation to look at though is that that there's certain level, not levels of consciousness, 'cause that sounds egoic and hierarchy-wise, but there's just different strokes for different folks. Is that a way to say it? There's different things that can also be true. And a paradox about reality is that if you're not trying to prove your worthiness or trying to reprogram your mind to be worthy, and you just realize that it's just this neutral thing, You then can become free from the egoic desire to become worthy, to reprogram the mind so that you can get new things in reality. Why do you wanna feel worthy? Is worthy even a feeling? What is it really the emotion behind worthiness? Because we could say, I wanna feel safe and I wanna be worthy. Neither of those are emotions. Neither of those are emotions. What does it feel like to be worthy? Maybe worthiness is acceptance. Maybe worthiness is love and joy and peace. But worthiness is not a feeling. Safety, people say, "I feel safe." What does that mean? Feels familiar? You have a regulated nervous system and you feel like you can just allow yourself to feel and accept what comes up? Do you feel joy? Do you feel peace? Do you feel courage? Like, what do you feel? 'Cause some people feel safe around toxic people people subconsciously. It feels safe and familiar to be around someone that's controlling. That might feel safe even though it might regulate or like dysregulate your nervous system. So the ego, the ego, there's this understanding of the ego and what's your job versus what is the job of God or the divine. Can giving a second chance to a relationship a good idea? Can giving a second chance to a relationship be a good idea? Hmm. Can giving a second chance to a relationship be a good idea? What is a good idea? What is a bad idea? If you're gonna learn regardless, does it matter? Are you tapping into your body, into your nervous system? Are you tapping into your intuition? The thing with reality is that there are so many variations of what can work and what is true for someone. And you tapping into you is the only one that will know that. There are probably people that are in marriages that have given a relationship a second chance and they've been married for 50 years. Almost guarantee there's people on the planet that that's happened. There are people that have given something a second chance and then it wasn't it, was it a bad choice if from that you learned something about yourself? You got contrast? Something to think about. But if you're questioning it or wondering, tap into yourself. Sometimes what we do is we outsource our own awareness. I do this too. Outsource, looking to astrology, looking to other people, looking to other patterns in the outside, looking for synchronicity and confirmation. It's so cool when you go through a spiritual awakening 'cause then you get all these signs, right? You're like, oh my God, I see. The numbers and this and that. But then sometimes it's like we're looking for signs from reality. Reality may also just be a reflection reflecting back these. And because we believe in synchronicity, because we believe in 11:11 and we believe in like all these things happening. And I think that could be very powerful. I'm a big fan of like Carl Jung, synchronicity in general, but we sometimes give too much power to it to where we're waiting We're waiting for the synchronicity. We're waiting for the 11:11. We're waiting for the perfect song to come on instead of choosing something, instead of trusting God or the divine and seeing it as natural. When people freak out about 11:11, it's like, okay, but what else are you gonna do with it? Freak out about synchronicity and numbers. 11:11, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. So what? What difference does it make? What difference does it make? Yeah, I know I do have very— the maloca here kind of shows the grayness. I have a lot of gray. I've accepted my gray and it's kind of like a silver, isn't it? Whatever. I've gone more natural. I've cut my hair. Obviously I see a lot of comments about the hair. A lot of people asking hair questions. It's funny, I cut my hair like a month ago, but people sometimes are just now seeing certain videos or lives on my channel, or they're still seeing old videos come out where I have long hair. So then it's like, you know, they're just now— so people are still commenting about the hair because you're just now seeing it. But yes, I cut my hair and it feels very freeing. And that's it, that's that. But I'm acknowledging the hair comments. Yeah, thank you. Let's see, let's see. All right, but all these signs when someone— they're okay, but all of these are signs when they arrive by surprise. No, I don't know what that means. Someone says, whenever I'm in relationships, I forgot myself and think about is them. So how to be more important? Well, the thing is, is when you get into relationship and all you think about is them, you start outsourcing your happiness. You start outsourcing and putting attention and pressure on them, which creates resistance. And that may also be a way of deflecting feeling your own emotions. So the belief is if they're not doing what you want them to do, you might feel resistance in your body. And then you might say they aren't coming around or they are the thing. And by focusing on them, you avoid yourself feeling what's happening in your body. And because you believe that they may have the happiness, et cetera, you're projecting onto them that. And what ends up happening is that creates resistance, but also it's deflecting the emotion that's happening inside of you. So something very powerful to do is to realize that you can bring the energy back to you? And what do you believe is true about the person for you to be focusing that much on them? Yeah, it's like deflection from yourself. It's a distraction from feeling, from feeling inside of yourself. So if you forget yourself in relationships too, Very often what happens is you abandon yourself for other people in the belief that if you abandon yourself for other people, you'll get their approval, validation, safety, et cetera. It also can be a form of codependency because if you abandon yourself, then they'll stay forever. So how do you put the attention back in you? A lot of it is about putting the attention back in your own body, being present. And embracing, realizing you're good either way. You're good whether they accept you or not. You're good whether you're with them or not. It's having a more neutral set point. Kind of this entire live call I've been doing, it's been about bringing things to a more neutral state of being instead of being not worthy or worthy and saying, okay, I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I'm worthy, being more neutral. It's a concept. And same thing, if your happiness is not attached to what someone else is doing, guess what happens? You take back your power. When you realize that you're good either way, you take back your power. You can still be intimate and expressive and vulnerable because it's who you choose to be, not because of what it gets you. You see the difference there? But a pattern sometimes people have is they abandon themselves for other people And something powerful to do is to bring your energy back to your body, to choose what are your values? How do you choose to be? You're good either way. But if that's your lesson, if that's your lesson that you abandon yourself for others, you'll probably attract people that maybe only meet you there at that level. And maybe you're, what is the universe trying to show you? What is God trying to show you if that's your pattern and those are the people you attract? What is your lesson there? A lot of times, a lot of the work I do at my live events, it's about connecting to the inner child part of you that feels not seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured. The inner child part of you that feels like you have to control or lean into mom or dad's love or avoid. Connect to that part of you and start to be present with it. Not trying to fix it, by the way. People try to fix their inner child. How would you feel as an inner child if someone's like, Are you okay? Do this, do that. No, that's like looking for a savior. Be present with it. Validate the emotions and watch how much you begin to feel different. Yeah, I'm good either way. These are great questions. We're asking them. These are like the kind of content that I'm moving more into is looking at the ego and the presence inside of our body. And instead of the ego's desire to control, to manifest affirmations, it's of a certain egoic level of consciousness. And there's a level to where you become aware of that and you start to become more present to allow God to flow through. But then there's also a level above that that then says, oh, I'm so spiritually advanced. Look at all this work that I'm doing. Thank God I'm not back in my ego trying to manifest. That's also a level of ego. It gets tricky. How do I avoid loneliness in a new relationship? This is a great question. How do I avoid loneliness in a new relationship? Here's an interesting thing about the perspective of avoiding loneliness. If you accept loneliness, and you let it be okay that you feel lonely, you then begin to transform the resistance around that energy. Do you feel that? If you try to avoid loneliness, trying to put it away and create resistance, guess what? It's not okay to feel lonely. There's an inner child part of you that might not feel connected, that feels lonely. That inner, how do you get rid of an inner child that feels lonely? You ignore it and put it to the side? No. When you let it be okay that that loneliness is there, think about it like as a noun. Anytime there's a certain emotion that you're trying to avoid, think of it like there's a part of your inner child that might feel lonely. And if we say, how do I avoid loneliness? How do I avoid and get rid of this inner child? It sounds ridiculous, right? You don't get rid of the inner child. You let it be okay that they feel lonely. And by you being okay with that part of yourself and being present with that part of yourself, by you seeing, feeling, hearing, and soothing that part of yourself, you will no longer feel, you will no longer be lonely, or it will no longer be a problem that you're lonely. And when it's not a problem that you're lonely, it may integrate, process, and transform. This is an interesting paradox, isn't it? A lot of the work I do at live events too, it's like, what if you let your, it's okay to feel lonely. The only part of us that thinks it's not okay to feel lonely is our ego's desire to control how we feel. The letting go technique, very simple. Let the emotion come up, let it be there, observe it, do not try to control it at all and make the choice to let it go. That's the letting go technique. And you can let the loneliness be there, not trying to control it, realizing you're also connecting to an inner child part of yourself that feels lonely. Remember, it's kind of like a noun that feels that way. So how would you meet that part of you? Would you ignore it? Get rid of it? Shame it? That's what a lot of times we do. We do that with our emotions all the time, 'cause we're even asking the question, how do I avoid it? How do I avoid the lonely inner child part of me? How do I avoid it? Of course, that creates more of the resistance. Let it be okay. When you let it be okay, whether someone chooses you or not, when you let it be okay whether someone likes you or not, when you let it be okay, you're then free. And when you're free and you're allowing yourself to feel and you accept, guess what? Emotions can come and go and flow and it's all good. Do you see the energy? So anyways, this has been fun. I am in Costa Rica right now. This is the vibes. And the London live event is opening next week on Wednesday. So if you're in Europe, come to London for a 3-day live event. It's going to be epic. It's gonna be breathwork. You're gonna learn how to stop controlling and start trusting. That's one of the things you'll learn. You'll learn how to be good either way. Like imagine a part of you that's good either way. You're good whether something happens or doesn't. Imagine a part of you that allows the divine to flow through and trusts. Imagine healing the abandonment wound or these inner child parts of ourself we try to reject or change or control how you feel. Imagine you accepting that part of you, how much more free you would be. Imagine living in alignment with your purpose and feeling confident. That's what we're gonna be wiring in at this live event in London. There will be also virtual tickets. You can join from anywhere in the world. And that's gonna come live on next Wednesday. I'll probably do a 1 or 2 day live event in LA before I travel. That's September 26th, 27th, 28th in London. I'll probably wanna 1 or 2 day in LA before I travel. And what else? Yeah, if you guys enjoyed this video, please like it or share it or something. I'm going to be maybe doing more of these Instagram Lives. 'Cause what I'm doing for YouTube is I'm also recording it. 'Cause I realized I really enjoy connecting with you all and kind of like vibing and riffing on these topics. And this is kind of how I've been making YouTube videos recently. So anyways, I'll post it here for the London Live event. I'm excited about that. I'll be in London for like 2 months. If I do do any other pop-up events, they'll be just for a couple hours on certain days, but I might not even do those. So London is like the main thing if you wanna come to the Europe live event. First time ever going to Europe. Other than that, thank you all for being here. Let me know if you want me to do more of these live calls, if you've had fun on that. Maybe I'll do one more before I leave. And other than that, I'll talk to you guys later. As always, peace, much love, and namaste.