How to STOP Giving a F@*k (step by step)

You actually have to give a fuck about something. It's just that the things that we normally give so much credit to, the things that we normally care so much about, are things that don't really matter. They're things that we've also agreed have some level of value or things that we should actually care about when in actuality caring about them is taking away the energy that we could be putting into what actually does make a difference for us. Giving a shit is something that we do because we are valuing things that don't really actually matter. Now think about it. If you were to have a bar set that you give a shit about you doing what you love, you give a shit about you being authentic, that's a good thing. So giving a shit sometimes is a good thing when the value is in the right place. But if you give a shit about what people think about you and you're really attached to what people think about you, or you're really attached to outcome of things, then you'll find that then you create resistance because you've now put something on a pedestal. You've now made something that isn't really in alignment with the real you, and you've put it on a pedestal, and therefore it becomes this very important thing that we then create resistance around. The thing that I think has changed my life the most over the last year or two is I've become strategically, strategically, strategically, strategically more, uh, like in alignment with myself to the degree to which I stopped giving a shit about things that don't matter, things that don't actually serve me. For a long time on YouTube, I really cared what other people thought of me. I was making videos that I thought people wanted to hear and I was afraid of sharing different perspectives, but then one day I realized doesn't matter. I can share what I'm actually passionate about. And as I started to value authenticity more than caring what other people thought, the energy started to align more for me. I started to feel more free. It became easier for me to make videos I was really passionate about. And the degree to which I let go of what people think is the degree to which I am then free to be myself. So The Subtle Art, or the— there's a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, which is a great book. But in general, the concepts of it is understanding that you still have to give a shit about something. It's just that what are you giving a shit about? What are you caring about? When I gave up the people pleaser, nice guy part of myself, I was giving up the part of myself that wanted validation. I gave a shit about what people thought of me and I wanted other people's validation. But then what I did is in order to make the switch, I had to first off realize that it was very inauthentic for me to want people's validation and for me to crave it. I had to become aware of that and then I had to see how inauthentic I'd been, which was something that was very hard pill for me to swallow. I had to become aware that by me being this like nice version of me that wants other people to like, you know, me, that is not authentic. And if anything, I'd been a fake version of myself. And when I became aware of that, I started to wake up and started to realize that I'm living with the value that is not really the real me. And once I realized that, guess what else became easier? Setting boundaries. It used to be so hard for me to set boundaries with people because when I would set boundaries, because I was so empathic and I could feel what other people were thinking about me or feeling about me, if I were to like set a boundary with them, I would then feel that they were not happy that I set a boundary with them and I was in a way giving up and, uh, caring and giving a shit about something I should have given no shit about. When I went through my own transformation, I realized that I was caring and taking responsibility for other people's emotions instead of separating myself from them and realizing, wait, this is your shit, not mine. I remember having friends like, going to a birthday party or something. If I was busy or I was out of town or something, like I would give away anything just so I could, you know, make someone's birthday party. I would lose my sense of self to make other people happy. But what happened is eventually I realized that I need to stop abandoning myself. I would lose myself for other people because I was giving a shit about their energy over my own. That was the game changer. So giving a shit and caring too much, really what it's about is we are abandoning ourself or abandoning like a value that we actually could live by. Then we are taking on the value of something that's inauthentic or we are caring too much about what other people think, other people's validation, the attachment to outcome. So the degree to which we let go is going to be the degree to which we gain our power back. And what are we letting go of? We are letting go of the attachment. We're letting go of an attachment to people, to validation, to what they think, and letting go of that really is the key to us taking our energy back and then putting it into things we really do give a shit about. As I've become more aware of these values, I've been thinking to myself like, how do I live more authentically? How do I be the more authentic me? I give a shit now about how I think and feel and how I'm being in alignment with my true self. Which then allows me to then have like more boundaries. I think that's the reason a lot of people have trouble setting boundaries too, is because they're not even aware of what their boundaries are. Think about it. You want to have like a clear vision for what you're experiencing in your life, a clear vision that you are going down, and then if something interferes with that vision, you're able to draw a boundary and say, no, that gets in a way, that gets in the way of my values, that gets in the way of what I'm building. I remember that when I was going full time on YouTube in 2017, I started making daily videos. I'd have friends that would want to hang out with me that were like, hey, come chill, come smoke, come do whatever. And I remember that there was a moment when I realized, no, this is my line. I'm going down this path of making daily videos because I believe in this vision. And now that I have this structure here, now that I have something I really care about, This getting in the way of this is not acceptable. So I would then say no, and my value then became more so I'm going to go full time doing what I love and I'm going to live in alignment with this true me and I'm going to say no to the inauthentic parts of myself that normally would have said yes just so I hung out with people so they didn't think we were falling out of friendship or to smoke with them. So, you know, I didn't look like I changed or whatever, but the thing is is You have to give a shit about something. Just make that something, a vision that you actually want to live by. That is the real you. And then when you have the values that you're living by, you'll find that you then create, uh, in a way, like things to say yes to and the things that say no to. You become very clear as to what that is. So when people start crossing the boundary with you, you're like, no, this is who I really am and what I really deserve. Think about it. If somebody is abusing you, and you're caring what they think and somebody is like verbally abusing you, let's say. Well, let's say you start to value your own sense of self-worth and you start to realize that somebody else talking to you like that is not acceptable. What you may do is you may then draw the boundary because you know I deserve to be treated this way. So when somebody else is treating you not that way, you can tell them no or you can leave them. And the reason it's easier for you to not give a shit is is because you give a shit about something else. You give a shit about yourself and your own sense of self-worth. You're protecting your own energy. You see the difference here? The difference is that when we give a shit about what other people think about us, it's because we've stopped giving a shit about what we think about us. So we start to value what they say over what we say because maybe when we were kids, we also valued other people more than we valued ourself because it was a survival mechanism. I became empathic as a kid because I had to tune myself to other people to get my needs met because of having the abusive ex-stepmom in my life that was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. I had to constantly tune myself to her to know how she's feeling, to then know how I need to be so that I don't step out of line or, or, you know, do something to get myself in trouble. But eventually I woke up out of that. Even when my dad divorced her when I was 15, I kept attracting a woman into my life that I had to like mold myself to that were either jealous or, you know, had like, uh, were trying to control me. And what I eventually had to do is I had to stand up to myself. I had to notice what do I deserve? I don't deserve that. Part of it too was I had to forgive my ex-stepmom. I did like let go of the old meaning and the old attachment that I had to how wrong things were and how I didn't have a childhood. And as I let go of that energy, I am— it was like I freed up all this energy to where I could be the most authentic version of me. So realize that as you go through this process of becoming the most authentic you, you're going to let go of caring what other people think because you're going to also realize this little fact. Everybody only cares about themselves 90% of the time. So people, when they're judging you, they are judging you based on how you make them feel. And knowing that, and knowing as well that however many people there are that you know That's how many different perspectives there are on you. There's never going to be one uniform perspective that everyone's going to like you. Even the bigger I've got, or the more like YouTube subscribers I've got, the more love I get and the more hate I get. It's both sides of the spectrum and I've come to accept that and know that not everybody is going to like me. And because I know that, it makes it easier. So you can know that however many people there are in the world, that's how many different perspectives people will have of you because everyone's thinking about how you make them feel. And especially me doing something on YouTube and reaching a lot of people, that triggers some people. Some people don't like that or it makes them feel like they're not doing, you know, I remember when I first started going full time on YouTube, I had other friends that I could tell were being somewhat judgmental or very judgmental because it was reflecting back to them that they hadn't gone after their dreams yet. And even after I accomplished that, I was going full and I went full time, I could tell it triggered some people because it had nothing to do with me necessarily like doing something wrong. It was just by me being me that was affecting them. But the thing is, is that's only a positive thing. I've also encouraged many people to go full time doing what they love, to go after their dreams because of my story. So it's like it's going to reflect back something different to everybody, but I've stopped giving a shit about what other people— I'm not attached to what other people think of me anymore. And I know that's easier said than done. I'm sure there's certain layers, to be honest, where I do care, but It's like I've let go more and more because now I value what I think and what I feel about me. But if there's one piece of advice I can give you that will just change everything, it's start to have a vision for your own life and like a pathway you're going down. And as you start living according to those values, a value is kind of like a virtue that you live by. I was living by subconscious virtues, virtues like caring what other people thought, wanting other people's validation. Um, and being really attached to things. And when I stopped valuing that and I started valuing authenticity, that's when things really began to change for me because I started to be more authentic and I started to realize that by me being this version of me, I'm going to polarize people. People are going to like me and people are going to hate me because I am being the most authentic version of me. And the thing that you don't want to do is you don't want to rob people from knowing the real you. Even if the real you is a little bit triggering, just realize that by you being a softer version of you that's toning yourself down, you are doing a discredit to the people that could really— you're like robbing people from knowing the real you that could actually really love you. You're like, there'll be more people that love you and more people that don't like you, but that's because you're polarizing people and that saves you a lot of time. It saves you a lot of time to actually be polarizing because then people are deciding whether they like you or not, whether they mess with you or not, or like, or want to hang out with you or not. And then you're repelling the people that you wouldn't want to hang out with anyway. Anyways, why do you care so much about the people that you wouldn't vibe with anyways? So when you start to see it from this, you could start living according to that virtue, those values. I started to live by the values of authenticity, of vulnerability. As I started to focus on those more so than caring what other people thought or validation, everything changed. So the main purpose of this video is you You have to give a shit about something, but just make sure that something is something that you consciously choose and choose to give a shit about something that like actually fuels you. Are you living your purpose? Are you living your passion? Are you following your excitement? Are you being you unapologetically? There's no reason to apologize for you being you, but are you being the boldest version of you? You came here to be bold. I believe that we're all eternal spiritual beings having temporary human experiences, but what happens is we go through life and we start attaching ourselves to shit that doesn't matter. We attach ourselves to what other people think. We attach ourselves to outcome thinking we need to control everything when instead, if we were to let go of those things and start to trust the universe more, start to trust source energy, God, that energy, that's what's flowing through us. And when you trust that, you don't then give a shit about all this stuff the way that you thought you had to. So that's really the key to us all becoming free. It's to become aware of the attachments that we have and then to realize that they're old values, they're old virtues that no longer serve us, and then start to create our own vision, start to create our own values. And as you live by those values, like whatever— if you want to attract love into your life, what you do is you find the values you'd want in other people, the values you want to be around. And then you embody those within yourself. And as you live according to those values, you're going to go out on dates or whatever it is, and you're going to be able to say no to people that don't live in accordance to those values. So that awareness really is the key to this, is are you living according to your own values, your own virtues, your own vision? It is important. Is it important for you to go after your passion, to live with your purpose? Because as I have I put those in a better priority where I value authenticity, vulnerability, me even being more polarizing version of me and me being bold over that of the validation and the caring what other people think and all that. It's changed absolutely everything. Stopped being a people pleaser and I started being the real me. I stopped living for other people and I started living for myself. I stopped having a hard time setting boundaries and it became very easy. So really the key to this is understanding that you also are that which you seek. There's something that is called the backwards law by Alan Watts, and it's the idea is that anytime you are seeking something, you are seeking to better yourself or seeking something. The more you seek it, the more you are implying it is not here already. And by us wanting to self-improve and to get better, we're implying that we're not already perfect. We're not already good to where we are. We're infusing resistance into the process. The more you try, the less you are, and part of not giving a shit is realizing that you're already okay where you are, and as you become okay with where you are, you will then allow the resistance to leave and you will allow new opportunities to come into fruition. You'll now allow new things to come in for you. This is really about letting go, and the degree to which you can let go is the degree to which you're going to allow in, and that's when magic really starts to happen inside of your life. So something that also, if you want to calibrate your vibration to find out what you calibrate at and to get a meditation to help you to raise and elevate your level of consciousness, you can do that by going to whatsmyvibration.com or clicking the link below. It will help you learn more about your vibration, how you can meditate to raise it to a new level. The degree to, or the key to raising your vibration is really the more you let go, the more you naturally raise your vibe. So you could do that. Let me know what archetype you get as well. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. If you like this video, can you smash the like button? And like, I'm not attached to you doing that or anything, but it does help the YouTube algorithm know that this is like a video to see. It'll help other people, I think. And other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll talk to you on the next one. Peace, much love. Namaste.