Aaron Doughty argues that calling yourself an empath can trap you in old trauma patterns and narcissistic dynamics. Empaths seek validation through giving while narcissists seek supply through taking, and the "superpower" narrative around empathy can become a form of manipulation rooted in childhood wounds.
If you consider yourself an empath or someone that can feel other people's energy, then I believe this video will completely shift your perspective. And calling yourself an empath, once you learn more about the shadow side of it and how labeling yourself as an empath is actually keeping you in old patterns, living in a— went mega viral on Instagram. I put out a video that was from a recent live event where I was speaking on stage, and I had no idea that that video was gonna get over 4 million views on Instagram. And it was something that just kind of took on a life of its own. Think it's awesome. And on the other side, there's people that are very polarized by it. They were very triggered by the video. Now in the video, what I explain is how empaths and narcissists tend to attract each other. From one side of the spectrum, we have an empath, someone that can feel other people's energy. And what happens is they tend to attract narcissists. Narcissists are people that don't feel other people's energy, but use other people as what is called narcissistic supply in order to feel validated, whole, and complete. Now, what they do is they normally manipulate in order to get their needs met. 3 chakras in childhood because of some type of trauma, and they move out of their root, sacral, connect to everyone else, to tune to everyone, and that that's how they get their needs met. By Ted was, by the way, this was a content, it was a 60-second clip on Instagram, so there was more to it. But what people heard on Instagram was that it was a superpower. And that superpower, there were comments in there that talked about how there was a glorification of it being a superpower. And I really looked at this because, by the way, in the video I say it's a curse and a superpower. I think it's a curse to other people in a way that is trauma-based and does have very harsh negative side effects. But I've also noticed that there's a lot of empaths or people that can feel other people's energy that are very good at healing or listening or, therapists. There's some side effect of that that I've noticed, that some people benefit from their work in that way. Now, not to say that it outweighs the idea of the curse, but regardless, here's what I became aware of when I saw a certain comment that talked about how it was glorifying about how it was a curse and it wasn't something I really emphasized. It was just a little small thing I said when I could, it took a lot for me to really look at myself to see how this acts within myself. Dynamic is there is this grandiose, this grandiosity around being an empath. There is this desire to be special, this desire to also, in a way feel like a victim. I remember when my dad divorced my stepmom when I was 15 years old and my childhood, I didn't really have much of because I was always kind of controlled and all of that. If you've been watching my channel, then you know, and you're like, okay, Aaron. But there was this feeling of almost like my childhood didn't really mean anything. I was wronged in childhood. It wasn't fair. Life's not fair. It was almost like there was this— This is also a common thing that happens in spirituality when people go through a spiritual awakening. And many empaths have been through a spiritual awakening. And when you go through a spiritual awakening and no one understands you, It can be very easy to say, well, they're just asleep. I'm special because I'm awake. I'm special because I'm an empath and I can feel other people's energy. I am more selfless than anyone else, which is grandiose. Grandiosity is an energy of this image, of this image that is overlaid in order to feel significant. And really what this is is a significance wound. And the significance wound is wanting to feel significant wanting to feel special. And an empath has a survival mechanism that was built as a kid because mom and dad may have not been physically or emotionally available, and it may have felt like there was tension in the household. And when the empath or the person didn't feel safe, they moved their energy into their third eye to become super intuitive. And then what happens is they then change themselves to get validation and approval from other people. And the challenge with this is as they change themselves and as they abandon themselves, they are manipulating other people into getting their own needs met. They're manipulating other people into getting their needs met in a similar way to the narcissist, but instead of taking, they give. And the challenge with this is then it's like, I'm giving, I'm so significant, I am selfless, I am, a lot of times there's this victim energy and I had to look at this
