If Someone Has Stopped Texting & Ghosted You, WATCH THIS!

If someone has not returned your phone call, replied to your text message, let's say somebody has completely taken their energy from when it was on you to acting like you never even existed, it can be very easy to internalize those thoughts, to think there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not attractive. Maybe I don't have a great personality. And if we internalize those beliefs, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It becomes something that we attract over and over again. And in this video, I wanna show you exactly what you do so that you remove that, so that you create magnetic energy from the inside out and you don't internalize someone else's actions into thinking it means you are not good enough. The first thing to remember when it comes to feeling ghosted or maybe somebody You're watching this right now and somebody's not replying to your text messages. Maybe somebody has completely taken their attention away from you. Maybe you want a date or something like that and they're not paying as much attention to you anymore. Realize that when we internalize these things, it's many times because it's familiar energy patterns that we're used to, patterns that aren't actually real, but we believe are real because it's happening in the moment. So what is happening when someone has ghosted you is it's actually a neutral thing. They've taken their attention and they've put it somewhere else. Now, the stories we create in our mind is that someone is ghosting us because it must mean that we're not good enough, that there's something wrong with us, that we're not attractive enough, or that there's somebody else that is better. And what wound this is causing within us is it's causing us to look at an abandonment wound. We may have an abandonment wound normally that came from childhood where either our parents physically or emotionally checked out. And when they checked out, what happens is we created a belief and we created a story that says, "I'm not good enough." And then when we look out into the world, we're seen through a lens to where we're almost expecting people to leave, expecting people to withdraw their attention, to withdraw their emotion, and to withdraw their energy. But all this is is a self-fulfilling prophecy proving to be true. So I've had this happen many times before, and I've also been the one to ghost someone else before. It's happened on both ends. And there was a time I felt when I was ghosting someone, I felt very guilty. I felt like honestly there was something wrong with me. There was a people pleaser part of me that felt really guilty for that. But on the other side of that, I felt ghosted before and I was literally thinking it's because I'm not good enough, because I'm not worthy. And that felt very empty to me. That felt like, like something that just kept reinforcing as time went on, like not good enoughness, you know? I was attracting people that maybe weren't as emotionally available also because I wasn't emotionally as available as well, which was something I figured out later. It's almost like, what if someone ghosting us feels familiar in a weird twisted way? What if in childhood we had somebody that withdrew their attention to their energy and we had to fight for it? So when someone withdraws it, when we're dating them or we're going out with them, it's like, this feels familiar. And even though it feels painful and it sucks, there's a part of it that we're used to, that we're in a way addicted to. And that's what happens a lot of times in relationship dynamics is that when we're dating someone or when we're in a relationship with someone, what it is doing is it is revealing to us our own childhood wounds. It is revealing to us our own dynamics of when we were kids that we can then look at and let go of. And one of the things that will help you more than anything else to release this pattern is to realize that one, it may have nothing to do with you. Somebody that has ghosted you may have nothing to do with you. This is, from one end could be bad because it's like, well, then that means they're not interested in me. That means they don't have attention on me. But it could be that that person just doesn't have the attention, the bandwidth to put attention on you. I'll say this from the perspective of me ghosting someone else. I remember there was a girl that I dated, oh man, a long time ago, right when I got on YouTube in like 2017. And we went out once or twice and it was something where I could tell she started to really like me, but I was also just getting on YouTube and I was really busy. Like I was making videos every single day on YouTube. I had just moved in with some friends at a house that was a pretty cool house, but I was like, I was just busy working. And that was all the attention that I had was to go into what I was doing. So I was making videos, I was posting them on YouTube. I was in a way, I was an emotionally unavailable person for a relationship because I was so attached to my business and to making videos. So when this girl comes into my life and I'm dating her or whatever, and it wasn't even like, it was kind of dating. It wasn't really like hardcore dating to be in a relationship, I'll say that. But we were seeing each other every now and then. But then what happened is I got all of a sudden, I was on a hike one day in Vegas and this like deserty place. And I get this text message and she was just super. And then she posts, I think she posted a whole bunch of stuff on Instagram and I saw that. And then I could just, she sent me messages and I could just tell she was really hurt because from her perspective, I ghosted her. And in a way, I guess I did. But my interest, it was like, it's a harsh thing to admit, but all my attention was going towards my videos and going towards what I was doing. And it is true that I wasn't interested, but I wasn't uninterested because she wasn't good enough. I was uninterested because I was focused on YouTube and focused on my purpose. I did not have any space for that. So one of the things I'm trying to show you here is if you feel like you've been ghosted by somebody, it may have nothing to do with you. It could be that somebody else has their attention preoccupied and is focused on something else. That's the first thing. Now, the second thing of this is it could be as well, I've seen this happen as well in many different situations because that of being on YouTube and having a lot of people reach out to me and stuff. It could be that somebody is preoccupied with a past relationship or someone else they're dating. But once again, that doesn't mean you're not good enough. Their attention is preoccupied Their attention is with somebody else that maybe they haven't detached from. So the challenge is that when we are internalizing someone else's, the meaning to a situation and thinking it's because we're not good enough, what happens is we then create more and more pain for ourselves. And we end up kind of digging the knife in even further, thinking that it means we're not worthy. Now realize this, If somebody ghosts you, it's a neutral idea. It has no built-in meaning other than the meaning we give it. That's like everything in life. Like right now, if you look outside over here, you can't really see it, but it is a rainy day here in Austin, Texas. And this rainy day is a neutral idea. Some people look out, like the guy, I have a gardener guy that was supposed to come and like do something with the trees today. He may look at that and say, oh, I get a day off 'cause he's not coming now because it's raining. He gets a day off. Somebody that's eager to work may say, bummer, I wanted to work. Somebody that's like, you know, I was born and raised in Vegas, I love the rain because I never experienced it that much. Some people from Portland may hate the rain. It's all due to the meaning we give it. That's it. If somebody loses a job, that's one way to look at it. But you know, I lost something that I had. But if somebody gets fired, One person may give that a really horrible meaning. It means there's something wrong with me. It means I'm not good enough. It means that like I'm not valuable. Someone else may look at that and say, oh my God, thank God. I did not enjoy this job. I wasn't passionate about it. Now I can really go after something I'm passionate about. And it's like the fire under them to really go after whatever they're really passionate about. What is the difference between those two things? Just the meaning, that's it. So when somebody ghosts you, in the same way, it is a neutral meaning. It has no meaning other than the meaning you give it. And the thing that I would encourage you to look at is that one, maybe that person's attention's on something else. Two, maybe it is the worst case scenario and maybe the person that's ghosting you isn't interested. That could be the truth. But realize this, they are not uninterested in you because you're not worthy. It may just be they are uninterested because they're interested in something else. You see, when it comes to dating, when it comes to relationships, all of this information is just feedback. And the good thing of that is if somebody's not interested in you, then you are no longer wasting your time. You're not wasting your time on somebody that either isn't emotionally there or isn't actually, it's just gonna like drain, drag itself out, and it's not something that actually serves you. So one of the best things you can do with understanding ghosting is to not internalize it, but at the same time, I do recommend you do internalize it to a certain extent. So don't internalize it. Realize it's not your fault. It has nothing to do with you. It may just be the situation that it is where they're focused on other things. They're not emotionally available. But secondly, I'd encourage you to look at, are you attracted to emotionally unavailable people? Ooh, this is when it gets interesting. Because some people are actually attracted to people that aren't into them. Because it reminds them of a familiar pattern from childhood. We tend to have a story about love. We tend to have a story about abundance and money. These stories remain on autopilot until we become aware of them. And one of the things you can do is realize that maybe somebody that's not interested is a familiar story And what you can begin to do is to look at the childhood dynamics you grew up with. And what you could begin to do is to release the energy and to release the old story that says, "I'm not good enough," because it's not true. It's not true that you're not good enough. It's just that you believe it right now. It's a story you've bought into because of past experience where somebody withdrew their energy, withdrew their attention. But the key to this and the key for me was I, and I'll just give you guys a little basis. I know I've told it in other stories before, but for a long time, I felt like I wasn't chosen. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like I would attract people who I was overly interested in. And it was either one of the two, either I attract, I've had relationships before where somebody who's really, really into me, this was like 5, 6 years ago, and I straight up just wasn't attracted back. And for a year we dated, and by date, we just like were friends with benefits. And it was constantly, she was wanting more from me than I was willing to give to her. And one of the reasons I think that was is 'cause I never actually saw her as girlfriend material. And the reason being is because she just liked me. Literally, as twisted as it sounds, she just liked me too much. And it wasn't even the too much, it was like literally she was just so, it's like it was an unfamiliar energy for me to have somebody like that. There wasn't that challenge or the toxicity that I was used to. So for like a year we dated and then eventually I cut it off and she was very sad. We were both, like just realized that was best, but I knew she was really sad about it. So on one side, I want you to ask the question, if you had somebody that was emotionally available to you and emotionally into you, would you even be attracted to them back? Would you be able to receive that love and that affection? And of course there's a balance here because there's some people that could be overly interested and needy And that's a completely different energy. But what you wanna do is you wanna look at this because I can tell that I was literally, I rejected her for a year straight, but she kept, it was like a toxic thing as well. But I can tell that it was because I wasn't familiar with that energy. So then it's like I was used to dating people that I had to fight to prove myself. I had to fight for their attention and love. I had to like show that I'm good enough. And it was like a thing where I was, you know, for a long time, that was the energy dynamic that I was in. I was trying to prove myself to people and I felt like I wasn't chosen. I felt like in a way I was being ghosted repetitiously. And it was something that I had to keep looking at over and over again until I could actually become like, look at it and realize what this really was all about. And one of the biggest game changers for me to realize was when I began to look at a deeper layer to it than I was priorly looking at, because the challenge for me was that I felt like I would often either start dating or start being interested. And then as soon as I did that, like the attention was like pulled away and then I had to fight for it. And then I felt like I wasn't good enough. And I felt like I wasn't worthy. And it was interesting because It was also that my friend, I had a friend of mine that would always tell me, not make fun of me, but he's like, on paper, I have everything that would make it easy. You know, I've got the YouTube clout and all of these other things that, you know, he would like remind me of. He's like, you're awesome, you're this, you're that. And I'd be like, well, I don't feel that way. It just didn't feel that way. And one of the biggest challenges for me too was I literally was not emotionally available because I was also, so negative on my own self-image where I just felt like I wasn't worthy, even though I had all this external stuff. I think that happens a lot with like successful people where they become successful and they still feel like they're not good enough. So they keep trying to get more and more and more and more because they wanna fill up this hole. And that's kind of how I was. I was like, got the success, got the YouTube plaque button and everything that I goaled myself at. But then I was like, I still felt empty. And then I developed this belief where when I was, dating people, I think what I would do is I immediately would talk myself out of vulnerability, opening myself up, giving someone a chance because I was being extremely judgmental to other people. Not like a real negative way where I'd like talk down to them or anything like that, but it was more so like I just would find reasons to why things wouldn't work. So in a way I was making myself emotionally unavailable and I was making it so that that was the case. What ended up happening is I realized that my ability to attract love was being blocked because I didn't feel that I was worthy. So then what happened is I started looking at this more and more, and I realized that in a lot of my relationship patterns, it was similar to an energy dynamic that I had when I was a kid. And that was a big game changer for me because I realized that there was a pattern there. And that pattern was that I felt like somebody wasn't emotionally available for me. I felt like I had to prove myself. I felt like I had to be a certain way in order to receive love. The more value I could give to them, the more I would be a certain way, the more I would receive that back. And it was this game that I felt like I was playing. But the biggest difference for me and the biggest thing that healed this whole entire process was me realizing that is really had little to do with the person that was ghosting me. It had more to do with the childhood dynamic of when I was a kid, of me feeling like somebody wasn't emotionally available. And the thing is, is like my mom and my dad, they did the best they could with where they were. However, I was realizing that, you know, I think when I was a baby, I know that my mom was going through a lot and my mom's dad died when I was 1. And when my mom also had a lot of, like emotional stuff with her own dad where their relationship was very on and off. And it was a very emotionally draining time for her. And she told me that she lost 20 pounds during that time. She lost a lot of weight because she couldn't eat 'cause she was so emotionally drained from it. And I imagine that in that moment as a baby and even as a 1-year-old, I was wanting love and affection or whatever it was, but then I could just see that somebody was completely emotionally checked out because they had so much stuff in their mind. So in that moment when I was a kid, I can imagine, it's like, I don't remember this specifically that I was sitting there when a baby and I looked up and that happened, but I can see and feel that because she was going through what she was going through, that I internalized it. And I thought that this had and meant there's something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough, that if I could change something about me, then maybe I would pacify the situation and make everything okay. So the thing that I had to realize is that I had a lot of shame. Shame is a belief that says I'm not worthy, I'm not whole, there's something wrong with me. And I had a lot of shame. So then what I was doing is I'd go out and try to date, but I felt like I had to be somebody else. I couldn't be the real me because shame, shame doesn't wanna be seen. It's almost like, I felt unworthy, so I would do a lot of other things to try not to get people to find out that I'm unworthy. Shame does not wanna be in the light, it wants to be hidden. So one of the biggest changes for me was when I became aware of this and I made the choice and I realized that my mom's stuff growing up, my dad's stuff growing up had nothing to do with me. It wasn't 'cause I wasn't worthy. They didn't divorce because I wasn't good enough. As kids, we internalize all these things. And we're afraid people are gonna leave. But realize it has nothing to do with you. Your parents' stuff was not your fault. That was their stuff, not yours. And when I started to realize this and I started to also not see it as bad, like this per— my parents are horrible. They weren't horrible parents at all. They were just going through their own stuff. They were doing the best they could with where they were. And as I started to heal and release that, I started to take my power back and I started to make the choice to open up my heart That's what changed everything. I started to open up my heart. And as I started to, and then I stopped judging people I was going on dates with and I was like opening myself up to love, which was kind of scary to be honest because I was so used to being in a situation or a dynamic where like I had to fight for my love. Here is the other biggest part of this thing though. Sometimes people ghost you because they're afraid to tell you the truth. And the truth is sometimes people just might not be interested and that's okay. You don't have to internalize it. I had John Assaraf, he was in the movie "The Secret" on my YouTube channel recently. And he was saying, he's like, one of the things with door-to-door salesmen that are able to stick with it is they do not internalize being rejected. And I used to see this because I used to work at Barney's New York and on my lunch break, I'd go into the mall and stuff like this high-end mall. And there would be these normally Middle Eastern people that worked at these cosmetics places that would like, their job was to bait people into the store to get them to buy like really expensive cosmetics. And they would, they knew exactly, first off, they knew exactly who to look for. They looked for a certain age, like 50 to, 40s to 60s, middle-aged woman they would look for. And they just knew that like that was their demographic. And what they would do is they would give them something and these little like the sample and then they would get them into the store, but they would get rejected like probably 50 to 100 times a day at least. Oh, thousands of times a day. Like everyone walking by, they'd be constantly trying. But why were they? But I would admire how like bulletproof their self-image was. The ability for them to get rejected over and over and over again had them develop a certain level of strength. You wanna know why though? What is the difference between somebody that internalizes it Or what is the difference between somebody that takes it personally and someone that doesn't? It's just that one has internalized it and one hasn't. And now in the same way, when you're looking at this, maybe the truth is somebody just isn't interested, but you don't have to internalize that. Doesn't mean you're not worthy, doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Maybe it means you're saving yourself some time. You're not wasting your time. Now here's the thing though, those are vulnerability piece here that's very important to understand that changes everything. Somebody may be afraid to tell you, listen, I'm sorry, I had fun, but I don't think we're a match. I'm not interested. Somebody that's ghosting you also is afraid to tell you that they're not interested. They're afraid of being vulnerable. And the thing that you wanna become aware of is, do you want somebody that isn't vulnerable anyways? Do you want somebody that isn't emotionally available? Because until you say no to the person that is ghosting you, you will continue to block out love potential in your life. It's almost like when you say no to something, you say yes to someone else. So you must say no to the person that's ghosting you to say yes to the person that is emotionally available. That's what will change everything for you when you begin to do it, because we get in life a reflections, the reflection of who we believe we are and the energy we're putting out. And if we're allowing someone to be in our life that isn't giving us attention or energy and we're internalizing it, we're creating this narrative. But what ends up happening is we end up blocking love from coming into our life. We end up blocking the good stuff because we are emotionally attached to the stuff that maybe isn't the healthiest. And that's what changed everything for me. I opened up my heart, I stopped judging, and I became vulnerable. I actually expressed my true desires. And I also wasn't afraid to say no. This was also just in life. I remember even just like a year and a half ago, I was really going through this and I had so much trouble telling people if I didn't wanna hang out. I remember one time I was in Sedona and somebody invited me to this get-together. They're like, we're gonna do this get-together thing and there's all these people that are gonna be there. And I remember feeling like I didn't wanna go. And I remember I said, I'm sorry, I'm not. I forget what it was. I had all this whole narrative in my head that when I say no to this thing, I'm gonna have to come up with all these reasons why. But then there was like a part of me that was like, oh, I need to like just tell them I'm busy and I'm doing something else, which wasn't true. And I was like, I don't wanna be inauthentic. So I remember I said something and then even the person I said this to said, no, come on, you can do it. And I felt like in that moment that it was like, it's almost like she said, come on, because maybe she knew that I wasn't as firm in my decision to like not hang out, not go to this party thing. But I remember how freeing it felt for me to actually say no, thank you. That's it. No explanation. Just no thank you. I'm not interested. I don't wanna go to this thing. It was like a whole new world opened up because for so long I felt so guilty if I did that. But really what that was is I was afraid of the tension. I was afraid of not having the approval of doing something someone else wanted to do. But here's the interesting thing. People respect you more when you are being the real you and you're doing what you want. So as I started to have boundaries and realize that it was like I was actually getting more respect and I was doing more of what I wanted to, and I actually had a deeper relationship with the people in my life, even though I wasn't doing everything they wanted me to do, it was just richer and deeper and more authentic. It was like a whole new world opened up to me. But at the same time, I made that same choice when I was dating. And that's what led me to my girlfriend Heather. Because when I first met her, there's a people pleaser, nice guy mentality that I had prior to her that I had to shed. And part of that a lot of times is like the nice guy people pleaser is afraid of showing their true intentions. They're afraid of showing their sexual desire. They're afraid of showing that they're actually attracted. So they become good friends and then they stay in that friend zone. Now the thing is, and the thing that I realized was, is that that actually wasn't authentic. That was me putting on an act to like not get rejected. When instead I started to see the rejection as a good thing in a way. I started to see if the rejection comes, at least I'm being the real me. So the thing that I would encourage you to look with this is make the choice to more so be vulnerable rather than try to get their validation and approval. And as you start opening up your heart, as I did that, I remember even when I met Heather, it was like I was very clear that I was attracted and I'm attracted to her and that my intention with her was not just to be friends and have like spiritual conversations and stuff. She travels from like San Diego to Sedona. And when I met her and she came to Sedona, it was like immediately there was that polarity and that attraction because I was putting myself out there. And then that polarity, has stayed because I started and I led in that way. So one of the biggest game changes you'll make in your life with this whole entire situation is when you start looking at how you're showing up in the world. Are you being authentic? Are you being vulnerable? Are you opening up your heart? And are you saying yes to somebody that isn't choosing you? Are you saying yes to someone that is ghosting you because it feels familiar? And what you can then begin to do is to look at your childhood dynamics and then see that your mom or your dad's emotional or physical unavailability growing up had nothing to do with you. It was not your fault. That was their stuff to deal with. And as you realize that, you can start to take your power back and you could start to choose yourself, stop abandoning yourself, and to realize if somebody else does abandon you, you don't have to internalize it. It just is like a neutral rainy day. It's just something that happened. It's saving you time. In fact, it's a good thing because you're not wasting your time with somebody that's not really interested. So the main part of this process that will change everything for you is when you begin to let go of that, because that honestly is a codependent pattern and a codependent tendency. Now there is a video that I have that's one of the most powerful videos that I've put out. It is on healing codependency, step-by-step exactly how to do that, to take your life back, to be in your own frame, to have no problems setting boundaries, is this video right here. Watch this video. It will change your life if you watch it. In this episode, I'm gonna be showing you the cure to codependency, how to never be needy again. I'm gonna share with you also my journey through this process, what I've learned about the inner child, how you can heal this process, how you can be in your own frame,