If you attract emotionally unavailable people WATCH THIS

What if people are mirrors to your subconscious mind? So if you find yourself attracting people that are not emotionally available, what if that is a reflection of what you believe you deserve? If you find yourself attracting unbalanced energy dynamics where maybe you're tiptoeing around people, what if that is a mirror of how you believe you need to be? And it is a mirror of your subconscious mind of what you believe about other people? What if the biggest blocks that you may have when it comes to relationships is simply because there are blocks in the subconscious mind that keep you in familiar territory over and over again? Now, in this video, what I wanna do is I wanna show you some of the hidden components of your subconscious mind that might be keeping you blocked from love, that might be keeping you blocked in a relationship, feeling like you can't open up or feeling like you're not really connecting at a deep level. And I wanna show you why many of the people in your life right now, the people that trigger you the most, the people that you feel the most connected to, they're all reflections of your subconscious mind. Now, over the last few years, I've been studying the work of Carl Jung quite deeply, understanding shadow work, understanding why we are attracted to certain people, why we find ourselves in similar patterns over and over again. And there's this interesting idea that has to do with understanding that our shadow has within it the unfelt, unresolved energy from our childhood is something we may be continually playing out over and over again subconsciously. Now, I had to really look at this because I could see that some of the deepest connections I've had in the past in relationship also were mirroring back certain energy patterns from childhood. So for example, if there was an energy from childhood of feeling like I had to prove myself to feel worthy, of feeling like just me being myself wasn't enough, then I would find that I was either in relationships that were either romantic or not romantic where it was like there was this energy of trying to prove myself. Now I know I've shared it in other videos before, but even just, you know how this idea of the subconscious mind and the unresolved energy gets reflected back to us literally from 7 to 17, having the stepmom in my life of having to tiptoe around my ex-stepmom and a lot of control, fighting for freedom. Things weren't fair. These were the stories that were active. Then my dad divorces her. I have all this freedom. Shortly after that, I attracted a jealous girlfriend that I also was kind of on tiptoe around in the sense that I was always too much energy. I was always like, you know, there was this jealousy that was there. So I was always doing something wrong, very similar to childhood. And then broke up with her and within 2 weeks got transferred to a better shoe department working at Nordstrom's in women's shoes where the manager was literally the same personality as my ex-stepmom. So I was aware of this thread of control of having to in a way tiptoe around some controlling person. And where even if I said something to someone else about that controlling manager, we would get in more trouble because she was protected by upper management. Very similar to 7 to 17 years old when if we said anything about what was going on at home, we'd get in more trouble. It wasn't fair. Well, interestingly enough, there was also this energy of having to prove myself to that ex-stepmom energy because we were always in trouble, my brother and I. But then later on in relationships, I find myself, even after I forgave, 'cause what happened is I forgave my ex-stepmom and I realized that it was actually good in the sense that it led me to my spiritual awakening. So then I stopped attracting that kind of narcissistic controlling energy, but that energy was still alive of trying to, prove myself. So I'd attract people that I felt like also I could in a way fix. There was this belief that if I could fix someone, then I could get them into, you know, being able to meet my needs. This is a subconscious thing. Of course, consciously I'm like, no, that's not healthy, that's not good. But what I can absolutely see is that all the relationships that I've had, even up until, you know, now doing this kind of work, I find that these relationships get more and more deep. And also there's, it's like it evolves as I evolve. Like I attract women in my life that reflect back the new evolved version of me as I go on. Whereas when I was unconscious, I would just continue to attract people that reflected back that energy pattern. Now what's interesting is, think about it, the unresolved energy from childhood may be what and why you are attracting certain people into your life. The unresolved energy, which means it's like that pattern, that lesson in your life wants to be resolved, but if it's not resolved with one person, it then moves to somebody else. Even though it's a different face, the energy may remain the same. Now, something I find very interesting about the shadow is that something Carl Jung talks about is this idea of archetypes. It's these archetypes that exist within our collective consciousness. Now, often what will happen is in a dynamic, like if you've ever had an ex that you find yourself thinking a lot about them, What may be happening is it's not even about them that you are thinking about. It is the pattern and the energy that they represent that is unresolved inside of your psyche. This is where we go a layer deeper. So what if the people in your life that have struck the deepest chord inside of you are also people that, that has like the deepest level of striking a chord within your subconscious, within your psyche, within your shadow. And what happens is there's a certain reflection there that you keep thinking about, but one of the reasons you keep thinking about it is because there's a subconscious unresolved energy there. And I say this because I get people on my Instagram Lives or on videos that ask questions a lot about this. Like, why can't I stop thinking about this person? Well, when people say also the whole specific person thing, you've ever heard people that say like, I wanna get my SP back. When I was first getting on YouTube, making videos on like this kind of content, people are like, what about my SP? SP? So what I did is I was like, what the hell is an SP? So I went on Google and said, what is this the meaning of SP? And then it says specific person. It's a specific person. It's not a general person. It's not a random person. It is a specific person. And this specific person— and the questions are always, how do I get this specific person back? I'm gonna get it back. Not that person, not that person, not that random person. I want the specific person. Of course I'm joking around about this. But the idea is that what if that specific person represents a specific pattern? And what if that pattern is the unresolved pattern from the past? And as much as the story can be, the story can be projected onto the person, it's what that person symbolizes to you. You see, in the world of the subconscious, and the language of the subconscious has to do with symbols and feeling and emotion. And what happens is when these— this person may represent in reality literally a symbol, a symbol to you, and it could be the symbol of unresolved energy with dad, unresolved energy with mom. And that symbol feels so deep. Now, the power of this is once you see it for what it is, it kind of takes away some of the story about it. Because imagine someone's like, I need to get this specific person back, this specific person, this specific person, but then you realize it's a specific pattern. Imagine typing in YouTube, how do I get back my specific pattern? I want to stay in my specific pattern. It's silly, right? Because you've taken out the identity with the story around the person. It's now a pattern. Now you may think thoughts, you may have emotions, but you are not your thoughts or emotions, just like you're not your patterns. But one of the reasons we subconsciously hold onto past patterns is because they're familiar and because of the story that goes with it. Sometimes the story can be, this is very deep. This really struck a deep chord inside of me. And one reason that struck a deep chord inside of you is because there was unresolved energy there. It was familiar. Now, if we take this a step further, I'll share this as well. Now, soul contract-wise, and this, we're getting a little esoteric here. I believe that we are eternal spiritual beings living temporary human experiences. I believe that in a way we choose our parents, even if there's energy there that we don't prefer, but it's like there's learning lessons, there's things our soul wanted to experience. At the same time, when it comes to this whole twin flame, deep soul connection understanding, people get really caught up in it sometimes because they believe like someone else is the other half to their soul, which by the way is a big story that like creates a lot of heaviness. However, what I will say, my softening up about this is that I believe there's certain people in our lives that we may have had a certain connection with that sparked within us an opening that allowed us to grow to a completely new level. Like it served a purpose. I can look back in my life and see that there were certain relationships that had a very strong, powerful catalyst of change within me just from going through that. And yes, I can see that the pattern as well may have been reflective of a certain pattern energy dynamic from childhood, of some unresolved energy. and it sparked up a lot of energy. Now, as much as I also say that this is a specific person or specific person versus specific pattern, I believe that at a deeper spiritual level, there could have been a certain understanding that there are certain themes you wanted to explore that would help you evolve to the next level spiritually. So what if you wanted to, in a way you could say trauma bonds and this whole twin flame idea is also very connected. Because trauma bond, is it like, there's this saying, is it a trauma bond or a twin flame? A lot of times they're this, like the trauma bonds may be what brings you in connection with certain people that allows a catalyst for transformation to happen. Now the whole twin flame idea is something that's so far beyond what we can actually even know because we don't understand the spiritual dynamics of all the different levels of different types of soul contracts, soulmate connections, twin flame connections. These are all just pop culture terms we use to describe what we think we understand as deep connection. But what I will say is I believe that even in my own life, there are certain people that it was like, I don't know if you wanna say it's destined that we meet, but maybe a form of soul contract that we met to spark something inside of ourselves to help us grow to this next level. And it also means that you don't have to end up being together. And that's where you can really also learn more about yourself and that own shadow, because that energy may have been a reflection of that past. So when it comes to this idea of this whole thing that gets— people get caught up in that whole soulmate, twin flame ideology, what happens is what I'm saying is, yes, it probably is a trauma bond. And yes, maybe at a deeper level, you agreed, like imagine if you wanted to incarnate and to meet somebody else to have a certain lesson with, maybe you would pick parents and have certain situations that would happen in your life that are more probable to happen that would allow you to have a trauma bond that is a complete mirror of somebody else so that it could then break you into this next level. So maybe that was part of the choice of like, this will magnetize us to each other to have this type of experience. Now, at the same time, this is coming from the limited perspective of someone that's in, you know, we're all in our own ego avatar experience in this reality. At the same time, maybe that is just a romantic way of looking at believing that maybe it's just like the soul wants the lesson regardless, it doesn't care who it is. Could be true too, I don't know. But nonetheless, regardless, the thing to become aware of is that it is a portal into a subconscious mind part of you that you are becoming aware of certain unresolved energies. So when I look at that, even that, that subconscious mind energy that I'm talking about, even whether it's romantic people, romantic partnership, or it's in then that of just people you talk to on a daily basis. We project onto people the subconscious mind that we have around how we relate to others, how we relate to certain things from our childhood that represented certain emotions and energies. So for example, I've shared this story before as well more recently, but it's like I keep shedding away more and more of the childhood energy around the power dynamic of having the controlling ex-stepmom energy. And one way that played out in the last year is a whole house situation where I was renting a house in Austin that I lived in for a year. And upon moving out, the landlord was, even think about that word of the power dynamic, right? Landlord. I am the lord of the land. You are living in that land that I have provided for you. But there was this dynamic where basically there was such a high standard and such a high like idea of perfection that any little mistake or any little thing, 'cause the house was furnished and I moved some of the furniture out 'cause it was old furniture and I didn't like it. But basically what happened is I got into, I'm not gonna go into the whole story, There was this basically this dynamic where we disagreed about what perfection was when it comes to certain things in the house. Like for example, one of the plants died outside. There was this, it's on this big property and there were these plants and in the lease it said that I would like look outside, make sure that the plants were okay. But there was a landscaper that was being paid to come and I just figured the landscaper would like know if plants were healthy or not healthy. One of these aloe plants died and I had to pay $3,500 for this aloe plant when there was a landscaper going every month and I was traveling half the year. But even though the plant didn't even look that dead, I don't know, it was a whole thing. But anyways, there were these stories coming up. This isn't fair. It even got to a place to where there was this little speck on a granite countertop in the master bathroom that came from this drink that I would drink every night. This little like hot chocolate, healthy superfood drink. Anyways, there was this tiny, there's this tiny little spot that was very small and I had, I paid someone to get it out, but there was still very, very, very, very faint little, like little, little mark on it. Well, that resulted in me having to spend another $3,000 to replace that countertop, but then it had to match the other countertop, granite countertop. So I ended up paying like $5K or I forget. It was a whole bunch of money. It was all money I didn't feel like was justified or fair for me to pay. For such a small thing when there's like natural wear and tear in a house. You could tell, you could tell I've still kind of got a charge about it. But nonetheless, there was a story. It's like, this isn't fair. And I had to have a conversation with this person basically to express and like get on the same page because for 2 months after I moved out of the house, we were going back and forth and she's like, you need to pay for this, you need to do this, you need to do this. And it's funny, I can feel myself having this desire to like explain more of it just so you know, like, hey, "Just so you know, I'm not a messy person. I'm a very clean person, but this person has a very high standard that's very unrealistic." But nonetheless, part of that was like, there's not many areas in my life where there's authority figures like there used to be where I had a 9-to-5 job where someone was able to tell me what to do and there was like corrupt things with managers and stuff because that's a power dynamic, right? Now I have worked for myself for like 7 or 8 years. I travel the world. I do what I love. I have a whole team of people that I work with. At the same time, I can definitely tell that I had this pattern in the past of projecting, maybe projecting that onto managers, but also attracting managers that reflected back that part of my subconscious mind where I believe things aren't fair. I need to fight for freedom. And like tiptoeing around to get certain schedules I wanted, stuff like that. And there's not really anywhere in my life now that that can play out except for this whole landlord situation. But I went through that. There were versions where I literally felt like I was expressing myself to somebody that was just totally not capable of like understand, like literally in her mind there was no other option. This is the way it is. I would, like, I talked to friends, lawyers, everyone, and they're like, this is ridiculous. I've never even heard of something like this, spending that much on like these little things. But nonetheless, it would've been more expensive to go to court about it and more of a headache. So I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna, but I had to express myself. And expressing myself to this person was a thing that was like a big growth opportunity because I got to be in a place where it felt uncomfortable to have certain conversations, but at the same time, I remained in my own frame. And I recognized that a lot of, you know, we've attracted each other for a reason. And my question was, what about you is a reflection of my subconscious mind that I can take ownership of? And a big part of that was my story, my belief about people, my belief that things aren't fair, this feeling that I have to fight or walk. There was a sign, here was part of the lesson. I moved into this house and I could tell that the owner, when I met her, it was a woman. Ironically enough, it's a woman, right? I had a ex-stepmom that was like this and this woman who was like a boss chick woman, super like from New York, super like high strung kind of like, logical finance type energy, you know? When I met her, there was like this energy of just walking around the house meeting her. It was like nice and cordial, but it was like I could just feel this tenseness, like this tenseness, like walking around, like, and I remember feeling that in my body, but like still wanting to live in the house. And I could clearly see that I should have listened to that red, there was a red flag there and I just didn't listen to it. It's like, I like the house, it's a nice house, it's in a nice neighborhood. And there wasn't that many houses in the, that I was finding that I liked. And so I like, I made it work. I forced, I basically forced it to work for myself even though it felt against my nervous system. So what happened was I went along with it and even living in the house, there were so many rules and things like, 'cause the house was furnished, like don't go into this room, this cabinet over here. Like all of these, there's like an electronics cabinet The Wi-Fi wasn't working. Don't go in there. It was like, well, I need to use Wi-Fi. It was all these really like very, very strict things. Walking on eggshells. And I remember feeling that the whole entire year I was there, but it was just kind of off in the background. But I'm like, now I can clearly see that in a way I abandoned myself to even be in that house. And then in that house, it's like, then I have this thing happen where this person like is charging all this extra money, taking, out of a $20,000 security deposit, taking almost all of it because of all these little knickknacks that felt like this is not fair, this is taking advantage, blah, blah, blah. Now, when we talk about healing of it though, let me say this. One thing that was very healing towards my ex-stepmom when I went through my awakening when I was like 21, 22 years old is I recognized that she was treated the same way from her dad and that's why she treated my brother and I the way she did. Now, this doesn't make it right, doesn't say I agree and I'm, like I think that's how my brother and I should have been treated, but I understood it more. And that allowed me to then forgive her because I realized I wouldn't have had my spiritual awakening if it weren't for that. Now, in the same way, when I look at this whole thing that has happened with this manager, or not this manager, with this landlord person or whatever, I can very clearly see that there is also the benefit of the lesson that I'm getting from it, but I could also see that her perfection— she has to live with her perfectionism. And one thing I noticed about her perfectionism is that her perfectionism was so strong that like part of it wasn't just personal towards me. Much of it was not personal towards me. It was her idea of perfection she had to remain in in order because she didn't want to be considered like "You know, this spec, she did not do this spec on the counter. It was the last tenant that lived here, but I don't have to deal with that. I'm just gonna have them replace the granite countertops." But it was like she didn't wanna be seen as messy or not perfect to the next tenants that came in. And I started to realize as I was working with her, now this doesn't mean, okay, it's right that you're charging me all this money for all this stuff. I agree with it, but I started to understand her a little bit more. I still didn't get to, I mean, her and I still had like this tense conversation argument thing where we just did not agree, but I felt like I had to express myself and I had to have that conversation. But at the same time, I understood her a little bit more. And by the way, I knew the part of me that wants to share this just 'cause, just so you know, it's not just me, just so you guys know, the cleaner of the house that she recommended because this one lady always cleans the house, The cleaner that knew her really well said that she would not do the move-out clean because this lady was too, the owner of the house was too anal and too strict that nothing she did was gonna be good enough. That's the lady she recommended that I use, this really nice lady that had a team of people that would come in and clean, would not do the move-out clean because this lady was so strict. So, you know, it was interesting because also when I expressed this to her, this is where things got interesting because no longer was it just my thing of thinking that she has these high expectations, there's other people. It was very interesting, but nonetheless, I learned from that so much and I was able to then see that the next places I move, now that I'm traveling the world, like right now I'm in Miami, when I'm going to move into a place, I pay attention to how the energy feels. And if there is that energy, it's an interesting thing because it's like, as I go in to move somewhere else, I can't have the energy that I need to fight against this energy in case it happens because then you're more likely to attract it because it's active in your field. But at the same time, I have to be aware of the energy in case there is that dynamic of feeling that I have to be aware of those red flags. So there's a less and less degree of it at every level that I go through. And it's like they're mirroring more of my own integrated parts of me. It was like as I had this tense conversation with her and I expressed myself, A lot of it was unexpressed stuff towards my ex-stepmom because when my dad divorced my ex-stepmom, I never had to see her again or talk to her again. So there was like unresolved energy there. So then with the manager at Nordstrom's, with the landlord, these are all reflections of that energy. But the more I stand into my power, the more I let go of the old story, the more that I have confidence in myself, it's like I'm resolving that energy inside of myself and I'm attracting a new type of person into my life. Now in the same way, if you add a pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable people into your life, what'll happen is you'll go on dates and you might start to see and notice that if there is emotional unavailability, that's not a green, a red rose and means go for it. It's okay, this is not, this is an old pattern. This isn't just what you deserve or what you're worth. This is an old pattern. This is what's familiar. This is why subconsciously you may have been attracted to this person. And then as you say no to the energy of emotional availability and you say yes to you opening up your own heart, you will attract new people that reflect back that new energy. Now, when it comes to the shadow side of emotional availability, when people attract emotionally unavailable people, there is a part of the self that may be have normalized emotional unavailability, but also may feel safe and familiar to that because that's what is known. There's a shadow aspect that is comfortable with emotional unavailability that's hard sometimes for people to look at. So when you start looking at these and you have the, it does take courage and it can be uncomfortable because a lot of times people have the story, no, I'm not emotionally unavailable, they're emotionally unavailable. But anytime you point your finger What is happening? There are 3 fingers pointed back at you, right? It's pointed back at you. And this is a symbol in our reality using the Carl Jungian understanding of symbols. This is a symbol that we use that means if we point and we blame, there's also a part of us that has that same unresolved energy. So a huge part of what I recommend for this entire process is something that I call individuation. Carl Jung calls it individuation. He's the one that coined it, but it has to do with integrating these different shadow aspects of you. And when you learn to integrate these different shadow aspects of you, you can then completely transform your life from the inside out. So what I'm going to do at the end of this video is share with you a very powerful workshop that I've done. That is a total workshop that I did from a video that has over a million views on YouTube on if you can feel other people's energies. It's from a live event I did in LA. I just recently posted the whole entire 40-minute video of this session that has to do with looking at these different aspects of your inner child energy that could completely transform you from the inside out. So watch this video next right here. People that can feel other people's energy. This is both a superpower and sometimes a curse on the other side of the spectrum.