if you attract Narcissists, Energy Vampires or Manipulators WATCH THIS

Why is it that some people attract people who manipulate them, people who are narcissists, and people who are what some people call energy vampires? Why is it that sometimes when maybe one person leaves your life that represents this energy, someone else new may come in, you may not see it at first, but then eventually You become aware that it is a similar dynamic to something you've experienced over and over again. Why is it that you may feel guilty, or you may feel in a way like you must be loyal or help or try to fix some of these people subconsciously? And what can you do to finally break the curse, to break the pattern of attracting this personality dynamic into your life so that you can finally start attracting people who really resonate with you at a deep level. You can begin to attract people where you're in relationship with other people that actually help to fuel you up to, in a way, not that you need it, but in a way, it's a positive interaction that becomes very fulfilling that in a way energizes you and keeps you going in a way where there's not that manipulative energy and there's not more energy being given than energy that is being taken. So very often this happens as a replayed childhood dynamic that has been familiarized and tolerated. Like, think about it. If you have somebody that is a narcissist somebody that takes from other people, demands, manipulates other people to get their own needs met, what you'll find is that if they were to meet somebody that has that of a healthy attachment style that does not play into that reality, what happens is they'll see the red flags very quickly and they won't even resonate with that energy. They'll be like somebody that is, and normally it doesn't even feed into it. Like people that are empaths or people that can feel other people's energies, they tend to be people that also put all the faults to the side and look at just the good parts of somebody. So they'll look at a narcissist and they'll be like, this person is very charming. Very charismatic. And they'll look at that aspect, but maybe not the other aspects that have to do with, oh, this person's very controlling under the surface. This person is very demanding. And they don't look at that, but they look at the good part. And what you'll find a lot of times with people that attract narcissists, energy vampires, and manipulators is that at some point in their childhood, They have tolerated and normalized this type of energy dynamic. They have tolerated maybe a narcissistic parent, a narcissistic sibling, or somebody that is an energy vampire, which means they're generating source from external. Think about energy vampire, think about that idea. An energy vampire, somebody that needs your energy in order to feel safe or in order to feel that of, to get their needs met really. So it's a manipulative energy. Now, the thing that I wanna point your attention to and the thing that will change so much about your own energy to really stop attracting all of this is the dark secret of this whole entire thing is that you get an energetic payoff payoff from attracting a narcissist, from attracting an energy vampire, or from attracting a manipulator. You get an energetic payoff and that's why you do it. You may not be aware of that energetic payoff, but an energetic payoff is like something you do because you get something and it's maybe negative, but it feels positive. It's like when you smoke a cigarette, and you get this little dopamine rush and you'd like, logically you're like, oh, I know that doing this isn't good long-term and it's not good for my lungs and my health and breathing and all of this, but you get the payoff. Well, an empath, someone that can feel other people's energies, someone that attracts narcissists, manipulators, and that of energy vampires, do you wanna know what they get out of it? They feel needed. They also many times are searching for validation and approval at some level. And who is it hard to get validation and approval from? Many times narcissists. They give it as a manipulative tactic. So what they do is they kind of lay out like breadcrumbs, and then every time you get this little spike of dopamine of feeling validated and approved, it then keeps you picking up the breadcrumbs, and it's used as a form of manipulation. So a lot of times, there's a payoff there. Did I do good? It's almost looking for mom and dad's approval and validation, and you found someone that very rarely gives it, but it also reflects back to you a belief, an emotion that stems from that belief. You see, if we feel shame, or we feel like there's something wrong with us, we tend to look for evidence using the RAS, the reticular activating system in our brain. We will look for evidence over and over again that it reflects that back. So it will reflect back. So for example, you may feel I'm not good enough, there's something wrong with me, and then you look on social media and you see all these people that appear to be perfect and you're almost sometimes addicted to social media because maybe there's a comparison there that wires in and has you to feel the same emotion over and over again of feeling shame or not good enough. You might choose people that don't choose you or choose people that are manipulative because there's a normalized energy there of shame. See, there's something wrong with me. See, I'm not good enough. So in a way, there's this subconscious energy that's under the surface that continues to attract people into your life to reflect back that energy dynamic because it's there. So what is the key to not attracting energy vampires, narcissists, and manipulators? It's to become aware of the pattern inside of you and also to become aware of what your inner child wants and needs. Because if you don't give your inner child, the part of you that is attracted to the narcissist, the energy vampires, and the manipulators, the part of you that's in a way that's looking for frame, looking for approval and validation from them, then you'll continue to live in that energy pattern. But if you don't give that version of you love, it will continue to look for validation and approval as a substitute. The challenge is that you can't really find validation and approval outside of yourself. You'll be looking forever and it will never come. Never be enough. You may search for it in likes on social media. You may search for it in the people that you work with. Do you see, I did a good job, right? I remember when I was a kid, I remember I was like 3rd grade, maybe 2nd, 3rd grade. I remember I had a question for the teacher, but I didn't really have a question. I wanted her to tell me that the coloring thing I was doing was good. So what I did is I went up to the teacher and I said, is this, I said, is this the way I'm supposed to be doing it or something like that? Waiting for her to say, oh my gosh, Aaron, good job. And she looked at it and she goes, yep, that's how you do it. And that was it. And then I was like, she didn't say it was good enough. Maybe I could find it somewhere else. And maybe sometimes there's a little inner child part of ourself that's looking for that validation and approval in other people. Now, instead of a 3rd grade teacher, social media, and these things that are also reflecting back the things that may reflect back normalized emotions and energies. For a long time in my life, I had someone I had to fight up against from 7 to 17. I had to tune myself in a certain way to get around that of somebody that was very much probably a combination of all 3 of these things. She was controlling, manipulative, my ex— it's my ex-stepmom from 7 to 17. And everyone in the house was always in trouble for something, whether it was my brother, even my dad. And it was like everyone was tiptoeing around her, walking on eggshells. And not being able, not having freedom, it was like that was our reality. So our reality was a game of tiptoeing around somebody and then trying to get our needs met. And some of the needs being met for my brother and I where we didn't get enough food to eat. We had to sneak food from another side of the house because we live in a mother-in-law's quarters with a fucking cage door. So during the day when everyone was at work, like my dad and my ex-stepmom, we would try to sneak in to try to get enough food and we would edge food. So it almost didn't look like we took any. But the reason I share that is not to say, "Oh, pity me, oh, look at me." I'm just showing that the needs weren't met, and in order to get my needs met, I had to tiptoe around other people. There was a belief that also things aren't fair. Things aren't fair, like what wasn't fair was if we would've told someone about what was happening at the household because we weren't allowed to have a relationship with our real mom at that point because we were kind of brainwashed not to. So then if we were to tell someone else what was happening at home with different things that were going on, we would get more punished. Well, funny enough, years later, my dad divorces her, and then I have all this freedom. And you know, you wanna know what was funny about the freedom? The freedom came, I was allowed to have friends, I was allowed to get enough food to eat, I was allowed to watch television, all things I was not allowed to do from 7 to 17. You wanna know how that felt? It felt terrifying. It felt anxiety-ridden. It felt like I had this completely open thing where I could do whatever I wanted, and there was something that felt scary about that. And it was mind-boggling. I have all this freedom that I did not have before, but there was something that felt too free about it. And what ended up happening is, and even though there was so much pain back at that old, you know, from 7 to 17, there was something that felt safe about that. There was like, it's like I knew my box and because I didn't have to think about anything outside of the box, it was like, it felt certainty. It felt known. Well, after 17, when my dad divorced her, guess what I had attracted in? Other people to reflect back that subconscious energy that was inside of myself that I got a payoff from. One of the biggest payoffs in our reality is being right about reality. So here I am saying, this isn't fair. I have to fight. And it was always a woman because there was a story that I had about reality. It was women are controlling, and I had this crazy childhood thing with the ex-stepmom, and I have to fight against it. Well, guess what ended up happening? Attracted an ex-girlfriend for 5 years that was controlling, jealous and controlling, not physically, you know, obviously anything like that, but was very controlling and always thought I was too much of a personality and stuff because I didn't have a personality. I wasn't allowed to have a sense of humor or personality from 7 to 17 because I wasn't allowed to have friends. Come out of that, I'm like 18, 19 years old. I'm like really loud, outgoing, and start to make friends. But ironically, then after I broke up with her, I attracted a manager in women's shoes at Nordstrom's that was the same personality as my ex-stepmom. And once again, things weren't fair. If anyone said the things that she would talk to and things that she would tell about, talk to the employees about, we go up to HR, you'd get more trouble. Just like back in the day, if I were to tell anyone what was going on in the household, I'd get in more trouble. Similar energy pattern, always fighting against a woman that is controlling. So that was why, why am I attracting this narcissistic manipulator energy vampire energy in over and over and over again? Well, the reason you continue to attract narcissists that of energy vampires and manipulators is because there is a lesson to learn. And until you learn the lesson, you will continue to attract it. I had a session with this of a guy named Mark Woolam. He wrote a book called "It Didn't Start With You." And that's all about how inherited family trauma affects how a lot of the stuff we're dealing with is not just ours, we absorbed it from our mom, our parents, our dad, their parents' parents, their parents' parents, it just trickles down, down the family line until someone heals it, feels it and heals it. One thing he said interesting is we were talking about my mom and my dad's side of the family and when it comes to my dad's side of the family, she was talking about my, he was telling me, and basically the only thing he really cared about with looking at these patterns was from 0 to 5 years old. Because that sets the energetic imprint for what we experience the rest of our life. And you can heal it, you can feel it, you can work with this energy, but if you're not aware of it, that's where the power comes over you. You're living within the pattern versus being aware of the pattern. So one thing he said that I thought was interesting is I was talking about my dad and how my dad's like a people pleaser, kind of a people pleaser, nice guy. Why did he attract my ex-stepmom who's a narcissist? Well, what he said was, well, your dad developed the people pleaser nice guy pattern as a strategy growing up because his mom was very erratic with her love when he was a kid. And I was like, well, I didn't know the details of my dad's dad and my dad's mom. I know that my dad's dad was an alcoholic and that made, I guess, his mom, my grandma, very kind of like, feeling very like not good. Obviously, there's erratic love in the household. But as a strategy, my dad developed a strategy to please and to be nice and to be the good boy to help ease mom's stress and to also nurture his mom because his dad wasn't able to do so because his dad was an alcoholic. Now, what he said was interesting. He said, because your dad learned this behavior as a coping mechanism of people pleaser, nice guy pattern, the universe isn't just gonna let him live in that pattern. What the universe is gonna do is it's gonna send him people that helps him break out of the pattern, which is very clear that from 7 to 17 years old, when he attracted my ex-stepmom, she, I can tell, is constantly testing him to get out of the pattern. And what I mean by that is sometimes the best thing you can do is to set boundaries and to stop engaging with someone that is manipulative. It's almost like, and the thing with my dad sometimes is he deals with my ex-stepmom because they have 2 kids together. And it's like, he's like, I just don't wanna deal with it. I just don't wanna deal with it. I just don't wanna deal with it. But there's times I can tell that he just, like his lesson is to deal with it and to stand up to her. It's to be authentic. For anyone that has the nice guy people pleaser pattern, the lesson is to be authentic, to lean into tension. Tension is not bad. And many people that attract narcissists, empaths, manipulators, they're afraid of tension. And if you want to really heal from this dynamic, it's learning to create a new relationship with tension itself, knowing tension isn't bad. If you can stand in your own tension and stand in the tension of what someone else feels, this is where the power is because what the problem or the challenges for the empath or the person that can feel other people's energy is that you are taking the responsibility of other people's energy. You are expanding your energetic field and then trying to fix other people, trying to please other people, so that you can get your own needs met of feeling safe, of feeling good enough. And the challenge with this and the key is to take your energy back and to understand what is their stuff to deal with versus what is your stuff to deal with. It is learning what is their job versus what is your job. And it's not your job to fix other people. It's not your job to please other people. And it may not even be your job to put up and to entertain energy vampires, manipulators. And let me also point out this, people don't like it when I say this, but what is an energy vampire? It is someone that is taking energy from someone else. You think of a vampire with the teeth and it's like somebody that energetically is taking someone else's energy. Well, in an interesting way, if that's the definition of an energy vampire, what the empath or the person that can feel other people's energy is doing is actually quite similar. The difference is that the narcissist takes and demands and is overt, and the empath or the people pleaser is covert. It's under the surface. It's, I will give you this instead of I will take, and in exchange for giving, I will then feel safe, approved of, and The interesting thing, it's just more covert, it's under the surface. And it may be, and a lot of times this is how you know if it's really not unconditional, people pleasers and nice guys, if they give something unconditionally and somebody doesn't like that, someone's not polite about it, someone's not appreciative, they may develop resentment. Happens a lot. All those things I did for you and you didn't feel appreciative. They're doing it because there's a means to it. Because to be kind isn't the bad thing. It's being nice. Being nice is inauthentic. It's manipulative. It's transactional. So a lot of times people pleasers, nice guys, these attract narcissists, energy vampires, and manipulators because at a certain point they're also manipulative. You attract similar energy that's the other side of the coin. Instead of I will take and demand, it's I will give to then receive. So the key is becoming aware of this energy in yourself and instead of choosing wanting validation and approval to feel safe, go down to the core of feeling love, which is the deeper core anyways, 'cause no one can really give you like the approval and the validation. It'll never be enough. So the deeper core aspect of this is receiving that of love. And there's an inner child part of you, a part of you that wants to feel love, that wants to feel the presence of you. And until you give that to them, they will search for it in other people and even authority figures that are manipulative. So a huge part of this process is learning also what is called individuation. It's individuating from mom and dad and thinking that you need to fix or ease the tension in the household. It's allowing yourself to be who you wanna be, not who they want you to be. And maybe who they wanted you to be was naive, to do exactly what they wanted you to do. And huge breakthroughs happen when you realize that you are only responsible for you. That when you are taking on and expanding your energy field to include that of other people, that's where you create problems, that's where you create challenges. And this is why one of the most powerful meditations I've done is a live meditation that has to do with the frame technique, feeling the separation between you and other people, but then also going back into your childhood to feel the energy of the mother energy, reestablishing to be able to receive love. Because if we don't feel that love and able to receive that loving energy, we continue to create a block in the areas of our life called relationships because mother energy, mom energy represents relational dynamics. Dad energy represents purpose and safety and feeling in your own frame. So for this, if you wanna check that out, by the way, I have it in my community called High Vibe Tribe. It's a completely free community you can go into. This is also a huge part of this is High Vibe 101. It is a complete $1,000 course for free that you can get by joining High Vibe Tribe. You can go in there and I talk more about the dynamics of this. And there's a meditation in there that I did live in Los Angeles for wiring in and completing this loop. And it has to do with singing, I bring in my friend and we do this whole entire process. So if you wanna check that out, you go to High Vibe Tribe to check it out and understand that you feeling safe in your own frame, you not taking on the responsibility of other people's emotions and energies is a huge part of this process. And when it comes to empaths and narcissists, it's very important to understand what you're getting from it and how to become aware of what you are getting out of it and how to let go of that payoff. Because once you let go of that payoff, you start to feel way more free. So I have a video from that same LA live event where I talk about how to let go of the payoff as an empath, someone that can feel other people's energy. And we talk about the deeper core aspect of something called the still face experiment. It's one of the most powerful videos I've made. Watch this video right here. So empaths, people that can feel other people's energy, this is both a superpower