If you can feel other people’s energy, YOU MUST fix this now.

You take on other people's energies because you believe you are responsible for how other people feel. This was maybe a childhood mechanism that you acquired early on when you had to tune to mom and dad, and there was a feeling there almost like— when you think of it, you think of empathic people or people that can feel other people's energies. They have a very strong sense of intuition. They're able to tune to people very easily. And one of the reasons this is, is because that ability to tune is a survival mechanism. It is a survival mechanism to pick up on how other people are feeling, to know, am I safe? Is it safe for me to be here? How do I need to be in order to feel safe. And if you think about it in the form of chakras, even thinking of it as you have this bottom 3 chakras of the root, the sacral, and the solar plexus. And what do empaths normally have trouble doing? Setting boundaries and feeling grounded. And what happens is if there was a feeling in childhood of I don't feel safe, there was in a way moving out of the bottom 3 chakras, moving all the way up to the third eye to then tune to mom and dad, tune to the family system to know and to tune to say, who and how do I need to be in order to feel safe? So in a way, it's a survival mechanism that has served you in the past. And in some people's lives, it may even serve them now, 'cause of course to be empathic, to be able to feel other people's energies is something most of us have the ability to do. The degree also depends upon the, if you think about it like narcissism, for example, they have a very little capacity to feel other people's energies or at least to be mindful and to care. Because I think they do feel other people's energies because in a way they want the energy so that they can feel safe. Kind of control the dynamic. So it's almost like they probably do feel it, it's just they probably don't care. Now, the key to this though is understanding that what was a survival mechanism when you were a kid may now actually be holding you back and maybe attracting people into your lives as a lesson to help you learn the lesson. This is why I think a lot of times empaths attract narcissists. It's 'cause there's actually a lesson to be learned. You're constantly being tested with your boundaries because in essence, it's someone that's boundaryless. You've moved the energy out of the bottom 3 chakras 'cause you didn't feel safe. You moved it into the third eye. You tuned to everyone else. You know how everyone is thinking and feeling, but it's almost like you've expanded your sense of responsibility. You expanded your sense of field to include everyone else. So then there's almost a boundarylessness. There are no boundaries. So what will be attracted into your life to help you learn boundaries? It'll be certain people that constantly test your boundaries and you constantly maybe give up your boundaries to make other people happy. Now for me on my journey of this transformation, one of the things that I really had to learn to do is I had to learn to accept that other people's stuff is their stuff to deal with. So if you set boundaries with someone else and they don't like it, that's their stuff to deal with. And guilt is the thing many times is the thing other people will use to try to control you because they're used to you being a certain way. They're used to you being the giver. They're used to you trying to ease their tension. So when you stop easing their tension, They might use guilt as a tactic to get you to come back. Don't, you've always done this for me. What are you talking about? What do you mean? But I'm your family. I'm your this, I'm your that. I'm your friend. I've known you this long. People always, when you start setting boundaries and you start being in your own frame of reality and finding safety inside of yourself, there will be people that don't like it. The key and the lesson is to not surrender your frame in the sense that you try to take on their responsibility again. There will be tests. I've experienced this in my life with even like friends I'm watching go through this right now, where I'm watching friends go through the process of living together for so long, and one person is in a way guilting the other person into continuing to, live with them, to be roommates when it's a really toxic environment. And it's almost like the other person that's kind of taking the brunt of it doesn't even realize it's an option to move away. Really, like literally does not think it's an option. It's like, I can't. What do you mean you can't? I literally can't because I told this person a long time ago that I would do this with this person. I would move to this other house with them. But this other person is being extremely difficult. This other person has a lot of stuff that hasn't been worked through, and therefore it's being played out, and this other person is like having to deal with it. And it's interesting because I can definitely see how guilt is a factor that's being used to keep this other person tied to the energy. And I can tell that it's this other person's lesson to stand in their own frame and to not choose it anymore. To choose their own peace, to choose their own power. And when she says, "I can't," what I realize she's saying is, "I am responsible. I am responsible for his emotions. I'm responsible for this. I am responsible for that." So this has been an interesting thing for me to witness and also to see within myself. There's certain dynamics in my life where there's certain things happening and there's like a social obligation as like someone in a family, it's, I'm, you know, the most successful one in my family and I have certain family members going through certain things. And what I realize, the pattern that I've had to break out of is believing that I must fix and be responsible for other people. And the guilt is a way of rationalizing certain things. There's certain people in my family that didn't have growing up, they had it very toxic growing up, and they may have not had a certain family figure in their life. So it's like, in a way, I take on that family figure as the successful one in the family and then pay for certain things. And what I realize at a certain point, this paying for certain things is actually hurting them. It is actually holding them back from growing up. That's something I'm dealing with, and I've had to really establish my frame because the guilt comes in. It's like, you are wealthy, you should do this, we are related. And it's this entitlement. And you wanna know what's funny is I'm watching other people in my family deal with it in their own ways. And it's like the same energy. It's definitely like a family pattern that's being shed. And I think sometimes we attract certain people in our family, Maybe at a higher level, we incarnate with certain people to help us learn boundaries, to help us learn lessons. But the key is to not surrender into the guilt, say, okay, I'm gonna do whatever everyone else wants me to do. But to understand that when sometimes the best thing you can do to really love someone else is to give them what they need, but not what they want. And giving them what they need may need you pull back the energy you've been giving. And there's certain things in my family, in my life where I've thought I was maybe doing the right thing by helping or financially taking care of things. And I did it to a certain point, but now I can see there needs to be, it literally robs people from learning their lessons. It robs people from like going in and getting the reflection they need to make a change within themselves because otherwise, You know, it's like the saying, you can teach someone how to fish or you can give them fish. And you keep giving them fish and they never have to learn how to fish. And it's like, no, you need to learn how to fish. But you're gonna be a little bit angry because you don't think you need to learn how to fish. You think that everyone's gonna give you what you need when you need it. And sometimes the biggest lesson you can give someone else is to show them the repercussions of their actions and their, in a way, selfishness. Of them only thinking about themselves, the entitlement. So something that on this path of feeling other people's energy, of feeling responsible for other people's stuff, a huge key component is realizing that that might be their stuff, not yours. It is not your responsibility to manage other people's emotions. It is not your response. So if you are, if you are expressing your boundaries with someone else and they are having an emotional reaction to it and are very angry about it, if you watch that and you feel connected to it, you feel like this is my responsibility, this is my fault, then you will absorb the energy of it. However, if you witness it, you observe it, and you can see it as their stuff, you won't feel as emotionally connected to it. As there's certain things I go through waves within certain family dynamics, certain things where there's certain level of drama. And I can tell when it's like, I feel like it's my responsibility, I feel impacted by it. I feel like it takes up mental bandwidth. I feel emotionally like it's something that I feel emotionally connected to. However, when I'm able to observe it, I'm actually even able to help in a different way. It reminds me of learning when I got certified in breathwork, for example. I got certified in a certain type of breathwork that has to do with breathing and releasing energy inside of the body. And one of the most important things of the practitioners that are walking around is as people are breathing, listening to the music and releasing energy, the most important thing is for the practitioners to hold a calm sense of space. Not to be emotionally reactive. If somebody's like crying or somebody is screaming and yelling, not to go over to them and be like, "Oh my God, are you okay? Oh, I hope you're okay. Let me do this. Let me get you a tissue. Oh, here." Which signifies what you're feeling is not okay. You need to be fixed. And instead, when you walk around with presence and someone you can maybe, help them, but you're not emotionally triggered or reactive to it, then they feel safe. They feel this safety energy. This is normal. What I'm feeling is just a response that's coming through my body. And then also you don't have a hook. So that's kind of a metaphor for understanding this. It's like you can be like, oh, this is the stuff that you're dealing with. You're calm in your own frame of reality. And then anything that they feel resistant about, they may project onto you, but they're mirrored back by it. So for example, one thing I remember telling my dad when he was dealing with my ex-stepmom, when he was bringing, he was going to like therapy with my sisters at one point. And he said he'd go to the therapy office and meet up and then the ex-stepmom would come and she would just be yelling at him, making a scene. It'd be embarrassing. And he would then, "Oh, what am I doing wrong?" He would try to fix it. He would be, "What do you mean? What do you mean?" It was this whole altercation he was embarrassed by. And it kept happening. This is years ago. And I remember telling him, I said, "Why don't you try this thing? Why don't you try just not emotionally, like not responding, not reacting at all?" So I got a call like a week later and he says, "Guess what happened?" I said, "What?" He's like, "I went, I sat down, she came in, she started yelling at me, making a scene, and I just sat there and I pretended like she didn't exist." And because he wasn't reacting, she did her thing and was like doing her thing for like a good whatever couple minutes. And then she couldn't handle the fact he wasn't reacting and she just walked out. She didn't even stay for it. And it was a response to the energy because people mirror, if you respond, and I'm not saying to respond and like pretend like they're not there necessarily, I am saying you can respond with presence, but you can observe rather than react and be present. And in that energy, it then reflects their energy back to themselves, which you can have even more comfort in knowing that that's their stuff to deal with, not yours. They're being reflected back with their energy and they may not like that, but that's their stuff. So understand that this process of healing and of being in your own frame of reality is really about finding safety inside of yourself by understanding the difference between subject and object. This is the key for empaths because when you are an empath and you can feel other people's energy, you think everyone else is an extension of you. You think everyone else is subject, is part of you. Instead of realizing the difference between, also you could call this self versus other, self versus other. And what you must learn to do more so is be in your own sense of self. Who am I? What are my values? Where do I end and you begin? What is self? What is other? And remember, as a survival mechanism as a kid, there was this realization or this belief that like, okay, Self, I don't feel safe in my own sense of self. So mom's emotions are myself, that family dynamic over there is myself, my brothers and sisters' happiness is myself. Everything is my responsibility. Everything is seeing S's everywhere. SSS, self, self, self, self, self, and not able to see others. So of course, later on, you tell someone, you say something to someone else, they have tension. That's me. I need to manage the tension. I can't say this to them 'cause if I say this to them, they're gonna feel tension and their tension is my tension. But one of the gifts of this process is feeling the separation between you and other. That's their stuff, not yours. That's the motto to remember. That's their stuff, not mine. And as you sit in that energy and you can feel the difference between the self and the other, you are then more in your own power. Now, funny enough, you are more magnetic the more you are in your own energy. The more you are in your own body, the more present you are, the more magnetic you are. The more you dissipate your energy and try to control other people and try to fix other people, the more scattered your energy is, the less potent it is inside of your body. The more energy in your body, the more magnetic you are. But remember, as a survival mechanism, you may have moved outta the bottom 3 chakras into the third eye and you can now tune to everybody else. So your energy's being projected, your energy's being projected, your energy's being projected, scattering your energy field. You wanna bring it back. You wanna feel safe within your own sense of reality by understanding and feeling into the difference between self versus other. And until you learn this, you will continue to abandon yourself for other people, which is really the key to this whole entire thing is to stop abandoning yourself. But I can't tell you to stop abandoning yourself if you believe that everyone else is yourself. Does that make sense? Like myself, that person is me, so I can't abandon them. But the key is you've already abandoned yourself to make everybody else happy because you take on everyone else's responsibility. So the key to this whole entire process is bringing the energy back inside of yourself and feeling safe within your own frame of reality. Now, one of the most powerful meditations I've ever done was a live meditation where we connected to this energy called the frame technique, but then also we healed the energy. A lot of times the receiving of the love of the mother when we were a baby, If we didn't actually receive that, we will feel like shame. I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. I must abandon myself for other people. So something I do have that can't be on YouTube because of the music in it is in my free community called High Vibe Tribe, along with a $1,000 course for free called High Vibe 101. You can download that or link that below, and it's in transformational workshops, or no, it's in a guided meditation section if you wanna listen to that. Mother-child meditation. But understand that healing the energy between us and our mom and feeling and being able to receive that love is really the key to opening up and to not feeling like we must abandon ourselves to make everybody else happy. And the more you do this, the more that you focus on the energy of also your inner child. Imagine an inner child part of you that feels responsible for everyone else. And imagine that that inner child feels not seen, not soothed, not heard, and not nurtured, and therefore is abandoning themselves to make everyone else happy to mitigate the tension in the household. So guess what? That version of you feels shame, feels broken, feels like there's something wrong with me. So what you end up doing is abandoning yourself for everybody else And because you're trying to avoid the shame, it's almost like I believe I must abandon myself in order to not feel shame so other people don't realize that I'm broken and there's something wrong with me. When in fact, if you embrace the shame, that will dissipate the energy and then you realize you can be you. You can feel safe in your own frame of reality, self versus other. But a huge part of this process is understanding what is your responsibility, what is other people's responsibility. But it has to do with the shame of believing there's something wrong with me. I'm broken. I'll abandon myself for everybody else. But you don't have to abandon other people and have the responsibility of making other people happy and easing the tension. Their tension is not your tension. As, as adults, we know this. We look and can see that As a kid, if mom or dad wasn't physically or emotionally available, they were stressed out about business stuff, they didn't have a good relationship or something, we could see it's not necessarily us, but as kids, we internalize everything. Mom and dad's tension growing up is our tension. We think it's because of me, we blame ourselves. So one of the key components of this whole entire healing process is to stop internalizing everything else and to allow ourselves to have the vulnerability to release the shame. And by the releasing shame, it is vulnerability. It is sharing how you really feel, sharing how you really think. And if people don't like it, that's their stuff to deal with. But that frees up the energy. Vulnerability is the key and it takes courage to have vulnerability. But the more vulnerable you are, the more expressive you are, the more you're not trying to hide different aspects of yourself as well. And so it allows the energy to flow through. In the book, "The Untethered Soul," it talks about these things called samskaras. Samskara, samskaras, these things in our heart of where we didn't process emotion from the past and it stays there as like a little block until we feel it. And it's almost like this abandonment, this energy, came in, the tension came into our body, and instead of just feeling it and allowing it to flow through, we felt it and then kept it there and then held it everywhere we go, trying to mitigate the tension. But the tension is also a projection that we're projecting out and seeing and almost projecting onto people. And we'll, in a way, enabling other people to create more problems because sometimes we see, we wanna fix them. And people that are empaths that can feel other people's energies, a lot of times they get value from being the good child. The fixer. They get payoff from it, perceived value. And they're very afraid to lean into being not the bad guy, but the shadowy side that maybe has some repressed anger. But the funny thing is when you step into that version of you, like I could tell that I had to learn how to step into this because I had the stepmom growing up that was controlling and manipulative and very like dark energy. And I had to kind of walk on eggshells around her just to survive. There was a part of me that associated anything that made people feel tension as bad because the ex-stepmom like found joy almost in causing people tension. She got power from it. But then there was a repression of the side of me that was actually in my own power, the side of me that would actually sometimes cause tension. And as a leader, as somebody that runs a big business, that has a YouTube channel, I've had to learn how to get more comfortable with tension. And maybe that's what this pattern is. It's an opportunity for you to lean into tension and to know that you leaning into tension may cause tension in other people, but that's not your thing to, it's not your responsibility to deal with. And you're not gonna become, sometimes people that are empaths, they can feel other people's energies, they're worried if they give any tension whatsoever, then they're immediately a narcissist. And they're so afraid to become that. You're not gonna become that. You can already feel and attune to other people's energies. You're not gonna become some self-absorbed egomaniac that's like controlling people all because someone else feels tension when you set boundaries about not going out or about what you're willing or not willing to do. But understand they may be in your life as a reflection of it's time to step into your own power, to setting boundaries. So if you want to learn more about this, I have a YouTube video that I did. It's live. It was a live YouTube video. It was a live video in the LA Shift Experience event that I did. It's one of my most popular videos nowadays on the frame technique, feeling safe in your own frame, empath-narcissist connection, how to feel safe in your own body. And you can watch this meditation or watch this video Right here. Empaths, people that can feel other people's energy. This is both a superpower