If you can see this, you’re done chasing love and about to be chosen…

you could see this video, take it as a sign that you will be moving out of the energy of chasing and into the energy of choosing yourself. If you are chasing anyone, you are actually running away yourself from emotional availability. The thing is, is it's not your fault. This is a familiar pattern from childhood, and until that pattern is resolved, you will continue to choose people that may have red flags, let's be honest, and you will continue to choose people that you think you can get on board to get to finally choose you. But the thing is, is until you shift the energy underneath the surface, that pattern will stay on autopilot. So in this video, I'm going to show you how to move up the ladder of moving from chasing to being chosen inside of yourself. I'm going to show you how the energy of being chasing is actually a subconscious strategy from childhood, how to finally resolve that pattern, and how this will result in you feeling more calm and regulated inside of your body, and honestly good either way with how things happen and whether they even come back or not. So the first thing to understand about this is something that I probably said a minute ago that you're like, huh, that's very interesting. How could it be that I am chasing someone else but maybe subconsciously running away from emotional availability? Well, let's think about it like this. The patterns that we have are what determines who we attract into our life, and more specifically, the unresolved patterns we have are a reflection of what we attract into our life because there's some form of lesson or energy that we're looking to subconsciously integrate. So I know for years for myself, one of the things that happened for me is that I would find myself in relationships where I felt like I needed to get them on board. I'd feel like I had to fix them in some way. And I felt like also at times I was on eggshells around other people. And that chasing energy was a reflection of literally a part of an identity that I had, an identity where I thought that like, this is who I am. The first thing to realize in this video that can begin to shift the energy immediately is realizing that if you find yourself chasing them, the energy of chasing them. You are not a chaser, and the part of you that's chasing them is only chasing them because there's a part of you, your inner child, that wants to be seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured by you. But the thing is, is if we don't pay attention to this, if we don't look at this, we will then continue to think that the external is what has the solution. So the first shift of this video is recognizing that the only reason we chase anything is because we believe we don't already have it inside of ourselves. And the unresolved energy that was here for years with me was believing that somebody else had the approval the validation and the love that I did not have for myself. So this was an energy of searching for it because there was a belief that that's where it was. And there was a belief that if I could get it, then I would be whole, I would be complete. But the thing is, is they don't have it. The key is realizing that the energy is within. Now this might be easier said than done because what happens is when you hear this, you might be like almost a little bit annoyed because you're like, I already know that. I know that I'm whole and complete, Aaron, that the energy's already inside of me, but I still find myself falling back into the old patterns. I still find myself trying to chase. And when things really begin to shift is when you begin to realize that the energy that you've been avoiding feeling is where the magic is. It's where you begin to, in a way, connect to a part of your identity and a part of yourself that you may have been abandoning for a very long period of time. And here's the funny thing that I would recognize, that I'm sure you can recognize too, is in your relationships where you're chasing someone else. In order to actually chase someone else, you have to abandon yourself first to even chase them. I mean, think about it. You're choosing someone that's not choosing you. And the strategy might be that you believe to get them on board, you either need to fix them, you need to overgive, You need to people-please. You need to be perfect or invisible, whatever the strategy is. So what you might be using subconsciously is this strategy to get your needs met, but you've already abandoned yourself. And when you get to a place of actually no longer abandoning you, you won't choose them, which means you won't choose the pattern. You won't choose chasing. Chasing only happens when there's a belief and an unresolved energy under the surface that wants to be resolved. That energy's inside of you, it's not in them. So the energy, as you begin to bring it back into your body, as you begin to bring it back to you, is where you begin to shift the energy. So the first thing to understand in this ladder that we have of moving from chasing to being chosen has to do with, first off, the chase. The chase is always focused on other. It's focused on other. It's focused on them. And what happens is the focus on them is the question that's asked from childhood, because remember, this is a— you think you're chasing them, you're actually chasing mom and dad's love and approval. So the thing to recognize about this is the question you want to ask yourself— one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself in, in this kind of work— is, who did I have to be to receive mom and dad's love and approval as a kid? And if you had to be perfect, if you had to be a pleaser, if you had to overgive, if you'd be hyper-independent, well, guess what? That will go into your childhood pattern block that's blocking you from love and connection because the pattern is there and the pattern's on them because who do I need to be to get this? And the first thing to realize about this is that you are not the pattern. You're not the pattern. You could be aware of the pattern and the pattern is there, by the way, to avoid a certain emotion that's underneath the surface. It might be avoiding feeling shame. I know growing up for myself, feeling like, you know, my parents divorced when I was 5. As kids, we internalize that. Mom and dad divorced because I wasn't enough. Mom wasn't physically or wasn't emotionally available when I was 1 or 2 years old because her dad died. As a kid though, it wasn't 'cause her dad died, it was because there was something wrong with me. And that shame, that belief that there was something wrong with me, is the unresolved energy that wants to be seen and heard. And, and what happens is the emotional availability comes from letting yourself actually, instead of feel that uncomfortable emotion and then go into the pattern, to actually let yourself be with it, to actually be present with it. To let yourself feel it. And in the acceptance of it and then not needing to change it is where the power is. But what normally— what we'll do is we'll then get to a stage of the second level here, okay? So the thing to realize first off with chasing is that chasing is a pattern dynamic that is familiar to childhood. There's unresolved energy here. And the chasing anything is a way of avoiding emotional availability. It's a way of, of avoiding feeling the emotions underneath the surface. Normally you'll see a woman that like the bad guy who is emotionally available instead of the good guy that's there and wants to choose them. Part of that is because it's become more familiar to not be chosen and to chase than it is to actually be chosen. But the unresolved energy that's there of who you had to be as a kid, the survival strategy, which there are 6 different core patterns. The core patterns are people pleasing, overgiving, hyper-independence or self-reliance, controlling, that of feeling invisible or perfect. And these are the patterns that stay on autopilot that are ways of chasing them and getting to them. As you become aware of these patterns, you may get to a place to where then you become independent. Now, this is more focused on self, okay? This is a powerful level to be at, but it has its limitations too. This is where you realize you might not need no man or woman. You— I don't need nobody. I can be successful on my own accord. I can create success. I can create abundance. And what happens is this is a powerful place to be because now you are not at the whims of chasing them. It's almost— it's okay if they don't come around, but there's normally a lot of resistance under that, almost like resentment and anger that's under the surface. So at this level, you're probably still doing the inner work. You're sorry, still becoming aware of this energy and pattern. But one of the most powerful things to realize is what this can be— the lesson for you that can change everything in your life— is recognizing that their approval and their validation and them coming around has nothing to do with you. And in fact, the self versus other individuation is where the power is. That's their stuff, not yours. I recognized this with a past relationship and also how this mirrored my mom's relationship with me as a kid is there was a belief that them not coming around meant there was something wrong with me instead of recognizing that it not working out actually had nothing to do with me. And this was a huge insight in specific relationship dynamics in my past where I realized, "Oh my gosh, I've been fighting for this. It's not, there's nothing, I don't need to fight for this person to come around because That's not my responsibility. That's their thing to manage, not mine. And in the same way, that becomes the insight because then you realize that chasing is simply that lesson not learned. Thinking it's their— that their energy, their tension, them coming around is something you need to manage to feel safe or to feel good in the present moment. So for me, I recognized that it wasn't my fault. Not only was it my fault, it's not my responsibility. And then I started to choose me. And one of the most powerful things you can learn when it comes to moving from chasing to being chosen, and from it moves to coming love in general, to attracting love in general, is that to attract love, the answer, the key, is to begin to what? What do people say? Be yourself. It's the most true statement you've ever heard and the most incorrect statement you've ever heard at the same time, because the misnomer here, the misidentification here, is that who is the self? Are you the pattern? Are you the chaser, the perfect, the perfect one, hyper-independent one, self-reliant one? No, that's a strategy. Who is the real you? The real you is authentic. The real you is present. The real you is expressive. The real you is not trying to manage their emotions or energies. Now recognize, to even be in this relationship, you probably already had to abandon yourself to even be in it. Am I right? Otherwise, you wouldn't tolerate that kind of energy. You wouldn't be chasing someone else or taking breadcrumbs. You've already abandoned you and they are now just reflecting that energy back. I can't tell you how often I've seen on stage people go through a transformation when it comes to— like one time I was in London at an event and this woman was situationship off and on for years. She wanted his attention, wanted him to come back. And literally on stage we focused on letting go and she let go of him. And within literally minutes, it was probably a couple hours, he texted her, "What's going on? Where are you?" He could feel the energetic shift. And she then got to maintain her energy and pattern and realize that it was a toxic dynamic she was chasing. But it really shifted when she recognized and integrated the energy that we're talking about here. Now, by the way, I'm going to be running a free Magnetic Identity Shift Challenge to show you the shift process to completely transform this energy from the inside out, to create identity-level transformation. Has to do with letting go of these core patterns. If you want to check it out, it's in the description box below. It's completely free, and we'll be doing this live with live meditations, live breathwork, and live workshops and teachings to transform this energy over 3 days. Either 3 or 5 days, you'll see. You can join below. Now recognize that the key to not abandoning yourself is recognizing that there's also some energy that needs to be integrated from the past. So in the SHIFT process, by the way, we have the S, which is seeing the pattern of the strategy. You have H, which is healing the pattern underneath. That's really what's being avoided. Might be shame, fear of rejection, anger, whatever the emotion is. That's what's like no-go, that's no-no. So instead it's like going to the pattern, right? If you can be present with that and let yourself feel it, that's when you begin to process it and heal it from the body. And within that, you also have integrating the shadow. For every one of us, the question we ask is, who did I have to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love and approval? And when you ask yourself that question, there are also certain things, certain roles that you took on, and there are certain things that are bad. It might be bad to have your own needs. It might be bad to express yourself. It might be bad to actually express anger. And because that's bad, that all then gets into— that all gets internalized. Reflected into the self. So I remember that when I went through this transformation, I had to develop a new relationship with anger. I had to develop a new relationship with my ability to actually express the real me, to set boundaries, to not need to fix their emotion or energy if they didn't like the boundaries. And part of the fear I had was that because my ex-stepmom growing up was very angry from like 9 to 16 years old that she was in my life. I thought that any level of expressing myself and setting boundaries meant I'd turn into her. And one of the things I had to realize was that I'm not her, but having anger is actually healthy. Expressing yourself is healthy. It was bad to let other people sit with tension. That became my initiation into the new me. So let tension, sitting into the tension, be part of your initiation to this new version of you. And part of that tension means sitting with the tension of someone else not choosing you, realizing it might not have anything to do with you. And as you start to sit with that, you'll realize that that person, more red flags than you priorly thought. And that you had to abandon yourself to even be with him, and that who you really wanna be with is someone that's doing the work, someone that you can be yourself around. So choosing yourself and being yourself really is the key here, but not the pattern conditioned self with the strategy, the authentic self, even if there's fear, even if there's energy that comes up that feels unfamiliar with that. And then you'll begin to shift your identity and not chase. So the next layer of this journey and the independent phase, you're focused on self. The third layer of this has to do with actually connecting and realizing that your connection to others and your connection to self is where the power is. You can meditate in a cave, you could get out, become successful in all of those things, But I believe deep down we came here to learn through relationship, and learning through a relationship means that we're committed to doing the work in relationship with people. For many people, their biggest, their biggest challenges might be their relationship patterns from childhood, might be their biggest challenges. Their patterns were relational. Their challenges are relational. So you heal that through relation, through relationship. And at this level, you begin to choose you even when it's uncomfortable. You begin to choose to express the real you from a level of vulnerability because that's a part of your identity. And as you begin to embrace that emotion, that energy, that's where your life will really begin to transform because literally who you are being is more integrated. And for myself, me stepping into the most confident version of me and the most empowered version of me has meant me becoming more familiar with and comfortable with anger, which was normally not allowed. I was not allowed to feel as a kid. So let this here be a sign that if you are running from anybody, if you are chasing anybody, you are running from yourself. You are running from emotional availability and you're running from that inner work at some level, but it's not your fault. You learn this pattern growing up. And the key is actually being able to see, hear, soothe, and nurture this part of you. And the more you do this, the more calm and regulated you feel, the more you'll be good either way with people, whether people choose you or not, because you'll recognize that people choosing you is not something you need to manage. And in fact, when you can let it be okay with whether they choose you or not, that's when you're more free. Isn't it interesting that if you can let people not choose you and you still choose yourself, that's an extraordinarily magnetic quality to have? And the paradox of it is that many times people will choose you because they're choosing you in the sense that they respect you on a deeper level, but you don't need it either way because you choose you either way. So you will never go chasing again when you recognize that chasing is a pattern that's rooted in a childhood pattern from the past. And that when you focus on feeling the emotion underneath the surface and letting yourself be okay with tension, letting yourself embrace the bad parts of you, letting yourself feel and connect to that inner child part of you. And instead of needing to fix them or change them, you focus on connecting with them. And as you do that, you'll find that then you're in the energy of choosing yourself. And choosing yourself means expressing the real you. Choosing yourself means letting other people sit with their attention and their energy, not needing to bring them on board.. And as you don't internalize that, or you see the separation that you will begin to feel more free and it will completely transform your life from the inside out. So if you want to, by the way, check out a video, one of the most powerful videos I have on my channel of literally watching someone go from chasing to being chased in 28 minutes. This video has over a million views and you could literally see the energy shift in her body as she realizes this live in person. You can check out this video next right here.