If you feel people's energy WATCH THIS (Frame Technique)

People that can feel other people's energy. This is both a superpower and sometimes a curse on the other side of the spectrum, because you gain out of survival this amazing ability to tune to everybody else. You know, when you walk into a room, how people feel about you, you know how the friends in your life feel when you say you don't want to do something. If you were to say no to something to do with a family member or something, there's an expectation there and you can feel that. And when you feel that, it doesn't even feel like it's their energy. It feels like it's your energy. So what happens is, as this survival mechanism that we had as a kid, what we did when we were younger, normally before 5 years old, is we move the energy from the bottom 3 chakras of the root, sacral, and solar plexus. We move it up into this amazing ability to perceive of what everyone else is thinking and feeling. And then what happens is we start modifying ourself so that we can then act according to what will get that validation and approval. Is this making sense? So this is the pattern that stems from that of a deeper core of some form of abandonment wound, feeling abandoned, feeling like mom or dad physically left and weren't able to meet my needs as a kid. So I first learned about this years ago. I went through a whole phase where I was, my dad growing up, my dad was a people pleaser, nice guy. He still is. People pleaser, nice guy, where it's like, he's very nice and everyone would say, he's such a nice guy, but he would attract people. It's the funny thing sometimes about this people pleaser, nice guy kind of empathic thing is that sometimes they attract narcissists. Any of you empaths ever attracted narcissists? It happens. There's actually something to learn from narcissism, by the way. The thing to learn, the thing that a narcissist does that attracts an empath is an empath wants to give themselves, wants to tune themselves, give themselves to then get the validation, the approval, and the safety of something on the external. Then on the other side of the spectrum, you have that of a narcissist who's on the toxic side of feeling in their self. What they do is they will manipulate everyone else around them to get their own needs met. And what happens is then they are actually in a strong sense of self, even though it's toxic. But the empath over here doesn't really even have a strong sense of self. So empaths attract narcissists narcissists to learn something from them, to learn how to be in their own sense of self. And the narcissist will constantly test the empath until they get the lesson. And sometimes the lesson is no more, I'm out, which can be hard sometimes as an empath. But nonetheless, I look at my dad's situation, my dad, nice guy, people pleaser, good at what he does, fire investigator, very analytical thinker, super nice guy, and like confident in his workspace, like very good at what he does, but also kind of like moves his frame according to other people. Then you have the ex-stepmom over here, who's controlling, abusive, narcissistic, and just angry. And why did they attract each other? And even to this day, I can see, 'cause they have 2 kids together, which are my sisters, my half sisters, same dad, different mom, I can tell that the ex-stepmom is constantly testing my dad's boundaries. And I can tell sometimes, I'm trying not to like, you know, get in there and like tell him what to do, but I can tell that the answer for him is actually stand up for himself, stand up for his kids, and understand that as he does that, he learns more than just, 'cause his thing is kind of like, oh, I just don't wanna deal with it. I don't wanna deal with it, don't wanna deal with her, just make her happy, do what she needs, even though it kind of feels fake. So back in the day, I was looking at this about 2 or 3 years ago. I was living in Sedona and I was looking at these energies and it was hard for me to look at because I realized there was a certain part of myself that was people pleaser. There was a certain part of myself that was like modifying what was authentic for me to make other people happy. I would find it very hard to say no to things that I didn't really want to do. An example of this, when I started to learn it, was I started to do the frame technique, which has to do with feeling inside of your body, feeling the separation between you and a candle flame. And as you feel safe in your body, your vibration begins to raise. But this one time, when I was in Sedona, I had this experience where, or no, I was actually at the time in Vegas, and I had a friend whose birthday party it was. And she was going to Telluride, in Colorado, and she had friends coming, and it was a 10-hour drive from Vegas to get to this place in Telluride. You could not fly straight into Telluride. You had to go to Denver, 4-hour flight, and then drive 4 hours. It just wasn't easy to get to no matter what. And at the time, I was getting ready for 2, 3 weeks later going to Costa Rica to do the plant medicine retreats. So I was busy, I had a photo shoot with like a cool photographer that was like hard to book. And because I couldn't say no to my friend, because I identified as like a good friend, and I couldn't say no, I ended up in Vegas, I was going back and forth from Vegas to Sedona at the time. Because I couldn't say no, what I ended up doing is buying a car, like I was like, I might as well buy, I ended up buying a Range Rover, driving from Las Vegas all the way to Denver, because I couldn't say no, I spent, you know, 3 or 4 days here, actually had a ton of fun, but I recognized on the way home from this, 2 or 3 days, you know, 3, 4 days in, and then I'm heading back to Sedona, I was going back to the Sedona house after that, which is like a 10 to 12 hour drive. I'm in this, I'm in this, it's snowing, and I have a Range Rover, but there's no snow tires. As I'm driving, I just keep seeing sign after sign after sign that says, do not enter unless you have snow tires, I don't have snow tires, I'm going around this cliff, I'm going around this cliff, and it's like as I brake, the car's just sliding, and there's like cliffs and shit. So I had to drive extremely slow going all the way back. Instead of 10 hours, it took like 15 hours to get back. It was, the whole time I'm driving back, even though it was fun, there were only 4 friends. Matt was there, a couple other friends were there. Like 15 of the people that were invited didn't come. Because they're also like entrepreneurs and stuff, and they just didn't have time to take that much time away to go. So it was funny, I was kind of aware of this. I'm like, oh, it's not that the other people were bad friends, they just had businesses or whatever. They didn't have the bandwidth to get there because it was so hard to get to. The whole drive home, I'm thinking about how dangerous this is, how I'm in a car that I spent $50,000 on because I couldn't say no. And I'm like, this is silly. And I started really looking at myself here. I'm like, this is kind of a funny situation. And what ended up happening is I started more so, I started more so operating from a different paradigm. I started bringing the energy more so inside of my body, and I would ask myself and tune to myself before I would make a decision. And if somebody else had a problem with that, I would be able through the frame technique of feeling the self versus other, I'd be able to delineate and see that if someone else does have a problem with it, that's their stuff, not something I need to manage to get their approval or validation. If they feel tension because I said no to something I couldn't do, that's not my thing that I have to manage. Tension is not a bad thing. And when I was going through that transformation out of the people pleaser into being grounded within my sense of self, that came with it a whole bunch of lessons of people asking me to do things, that came with, like me saying no without giving reasons. You know, like you ever said no to something, you feel like you either have to make up a lie or you have to like kind of like bypass it in some way. Instead of that, I would just say no without needing to have a reason. And a lot of this came when it comes to setting boundaries with me tuning more into my own body and feeling the separation between me and someone else, me and a situation even. So back when I went to that Costa Rica place back in the day that I was mentioning, there was a speaker there. Her name was Dr. Sue, or is Dr. Sue Mortar, and she was teaching this interesting concept. And she said, what she did is, I did this at the last event, she said, when we got, there was like only 30, 40 of us, and what she said is, everyone in the crowd, send me energy right now, send me energy right now, send me energy right now, and as they did, She said that energetically, she like taught energy and like the scientific side of energy. She has like a TED Talk and stuff like that. So it's very interesting from a scientific perspective. Send me energy, send me energy, send me energy. And as people were sending her energy, she's like, I can feel it's like repels. And it would make her like back up. And then what she did is what she would do is she had everyone bring their energy back, bring your energy back, bring it inside of your body, feel the separation between you and the person next to you, feel the space and separation between you and the stage. And as people did that, she said, there's like this magnetic effect to it. You can feel that magnetism because someone's in their own sense of self. Anytime people pleaser, nice guy, whatever those terms are of wanting something from someone else, you're literally projecting your energy out of your body onto someone else and then asking them to have the burden to make you happy. That's why it's unattractive. It's attachment, it's attached to what someone else is doing to get something. And in the same way, we are all gonna look, and I'm not, like, this isn't something we have to feel shame about or feel bad about, but in the same way the narcissist will manipulate other people to get their needs met, it's important to recognize that sometimes people pleasing and tuning to other people, it's inauthentic and it's manipulation. It's manipulating other people to get what you do. The narcissist gets a bad rep because it's so obvious of what they're doing to other people. But the empath, people pleaser that gives to then get is also pretty manipulative. It's the same energy. It's just different means from getting their needs met. One says, I will give to then get. The other one says, I will take and demand. Does this make sense? Does anyone see what I'm saying here? So noticing this is powerful. Awareness is always the first step. Now, the inner, how many of you would like to learn a little bit more about the inner child dynamic to this that can be healed, looked into, and felt? Yeah? Okay, we'll go into it, I guess. So I wasn't going to, but okay. So when it comes to abandonment, when it comes to feeling the feeling of feeling alone, the feeling of mom and dad weren't there. They may have physically been there, but maybe emotionally they couldn't help you meet your needs. What happens is at a certain age, at a certain feeling, we feel alone. So sometimes you see people that, you know, they might leave their kids crying because if they attend to them, then, you know, they're gonna keep, they're gonna get used to that. Which is kind of silly because it's like the nurturing of that is the healing of that. There's a video when I had that session with Mark Woolam, who wrote the book, "It Didn't Start With You," who my friend Bridget told me is like an incredible like coach. She took 2, 3 months to get a session with him. And then I luckily, I got a cancellation he had for last Monday. So I got in like a month earlier than I was supposed to have the session. And I was hoping that happened because I was hoping I could have the session before this live event because I wanted to share with all of you what I learned. So, you're welcome. So Mark Wollem wrote the book, "It Didn't Start With You," which is all about how we inherit genetic trauma from family lines prior to us. A lot of it has to do with mostly the energy of us inside of our mom, and then our mom inside of her mom. It's mainly, it's very strongly connected through the mom's side of the family. And what happens is this energy's on autopilot. And until we do the work, like all of you are doing, you are now becoming aware of these patterns. You're becoming aware of your childhood stuff and you're able to heal it so that you break the cycle so that your kids don't have to carry with it too. And what he noticed is that a lot of times through like the way he breaks down this book, basically people that have certain stories in their life, certain challenges in their life, you can track that back back to different generations, and it's the same story over and over again. For example, my dad, people pleaser, nice guy, he had an alcoholic father who wasn't there for him emotionally, who was codependent. And we had that of, and funny enough, I never met my grandpa on my dad's side. I called my grandma to ask him, to ask her about him. What was he like, you know? And what my grandma said was, he just couldn't say no. There were times that he would be like at someone else's house doing like yard work and doing things for other people, fixing things for people, because he couldn't say no to them. And then my grandma would get mad because he'd be abandoning the family, he wasn't around the family as much because he couldn't say no to everyone else. And when him and, I know when him and my grandpa, who I never met, and my grandma broke up, It was a big deal for him because he didn't want him and my grandma to break up. So she felt unsatisfied in the marriage. He was anxious attachment, like trying to get her back. Nice, very common with that nice guy people pleaser dynamic. So that was an energy that was active. And then you look at my dad's pattern and it's a very similar energy. It's a very similar energy that's just been passed down. And ironically enough, even looking at my mom's side of the family, this was a lot of what we did with Mark Woolam, just to kind of share with you the process. The first hour was him asking me questions and then breaking down different aspects of the dynamics between my mom and my dad. And then how that affects my own energy and how I can heal it, how I can nurture and bring that energy inside of myself. So what he did, is he looked at that and would ask me questions about my mom and my dad, and we would go through each year that I was born, like from the age of 0 to the age of 5. So from the age of 0 to the age of 5, we were kind of playing around with what did my mom feel then? What was the energy like between my mom and my dad? What was the, was there a miscarriage before me? Because I was mentioning this yesterday, if someone has, if your mom has a miscarriage before you were born, up until the age of when the miscarriage happened, there's this anxiety inside of the mother that's just hoping the baby doesn't die. So think about it, about a year before I was born, there was a miscarriage. And I don't, he was like, how far into the trimester was it? I'm not sure, it's something I might ask her. But basically, then the mom that's pregnant with you, if there was a miscarriage before, then feels that fear and anxiety. I'm gonna lose the baby, something bad could happen. And then once, like, let's say it happened at 3 months prior, then after 3 months, then it kind of loosens up. The challenge is that from 0 to 9 months of being pregnant, it sets the imprint of the somatic patterns within the body of the baby, just from being pregnant. And then the first 9 months of the baby being alive also affects the baby in a very powerful way. It's setting the somatic energy of the baby from that point moving forward. And then from there, it stems into that of 0 to 5 years old, which is all he wanted to even talk about. And I was, I told you yesterday, I was like, well, in 7, like the big deal for me, the big thing that happened is my ex-stepmom came into the situation And my ex-stepmom, it was like obvious that that had such a big impact on me. He said, it doesn't even matter. It like, not that it doesn't matter, but like the main imprint that he wants to work with that will impact you at a core level is from 0 to 5 years old. So from looking at my mom, and I'll kind of share some of the different healing modalities that really helped me, because in his book, what he talks a lot about is looking at your memories that you have of your mom, or your dad, and many times we remember the memories that weren't so good. But if we were to really think about it and really ponder and meditate on it, he mentions that there's a way we can actually begin to repattern the past by focusing on positive aspects of our mom or our dad, which I thought was interesting 'cause my experience growing up, my mom did the best that she could. She came out of a lot of trauma, My mom, when she was— my mom went through a lot of trauma growing up to where she ran away when she was 12 years old, 12, 13 years old. She had to kind of escape from her house because of all the abuse that happened. Before my mom was born, she was actually named after one of the babies, like, in her family that died. There were 2 babies that died in the family because of neglect. So she was one of like 6 kids. One of them died and his name was Patrick. Then they named her Patty. She didn't like the name, so she doesn't even go by Patty. Because she didn't like that idea. And then there was another baby. So the kids all kind of knew that they couldn't feel safe because they knew that the kids died because of the parents. So there's this fear of not feeling safe. And what happened was 13, 14 years comes around, 12, 13, 14 was when she started to break out. And then she eventually met her foster parents and she had to literally break out, out the family and say a whole bunch of stuff that was happening because then they tried coming back to get her. and then she had to out them. And then she ended up, she told me the story, 'cause I talked to her a couple weeks ago about it. She like went to a Pizza Hut, and my, her foster mom, who was like, who I consider to be my grandma, picked her up, and then she went, and then she went, and then she was able to live there. And she told me, she's like, after that happened, because of all the trauma she went through, she said she was like a feral cat. She was like just afraid of everyone. So imagine someone that's been through so much trauma, they're just afraid of everyone else. Imagine someone with that trauma that's attracting my dad, and it's like, how does he feel? What do you think their polarity is like? You know, her being very afraid, him probably wanting more, but feeling like, you know, sure, she's like a feral cat, you know? I wonder how that energy would feel once it has a baby. Probably feels like, oh, I'm worried I'm not gonna be a good mom. These are different energies that I've kind of been aware of 'cause I knew my mom went through all of that. My mom's done a great job. She's been through a spiritual awakening. She's done a lot of work. However, this energy is something that I could tell definitely impacted me in my life. So when it comes to this, the power that I was able to transform from this was in recognizing that, but also I knew I was looking at the memories that I had of my mom and realizing like many of you, maybe you don't remember that much from 0 to 5 years old, which is pretty normal 'cause we're mainly in theta state anyways. But I had memories of my mom that when I was in medit— like when I was really feeling into this, I noticed I had a lot of memories of just that kind of coldness feeling. But then I also had feelings once I meditate on it of my mom, sounds kind of stupid, but she'd make me like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cut off the crust. Little things like that, I started to realize, oh, she was, I remember playing in the backyard with her and we had this little like toy truck that my brother and I would drive in. and it was a lot of fun. I remember I could start remembering these positive memories of my mom. And as I started to do that, I started to have more compassion for my mom. Obviously, there's an intellectual concept, like everyone's doing the best they can with where they are, which is true, but as a little kid, we don't really think, we're not that aware. So I was looking at this and also looking at the more positive memories at my mom, and I realized that as I did that, there was like an opening that began to happen. As I started to remember the positive memories, as I started to appreciate the few that were there that I was kind of blocking, that was kind of blocking out, it made me much more aware and it softened up my relation to the feminine. It softened up my relation to that energy. Then I told my mom about this. I told her that the positive memories I had, and I was kind of opening up about, 'cause I can talk about this stuff with my mom, which is really cool. She's open to all of it. And then she sat with it for a day. And one thing that she remembered was, she told me some crazy stories that kind of like, it was fun to talk about with my mom because I was like, mom, you're a badass. Like when she ran away, when they came to get her from the foster parents' house, she was like in her room and she came out and her dad was there and was like, okay, we're coming back home. And she's like, no, I'm not going back home. She went through the back door and just started running. She was hopping fences, running, and then she hopped this one fence and there was this pit bull that was trying to get out of the door of this backyard of this house. And she was then running to the fence and they opened, they thought the dog wanted to go out, which of course it did. And it opened up the door and that pit bull then attacked my mom, grabbed her by the leg. My mom is jumping over the fence and the pit bull like fell off of her, but bit her to where there was blood gushing out of her leg. She then gets onto the other side, And she then had a friend somehow that was close by that came to help her and she spent the night there. And then the next day, you know, she started that process, like separating, individuating from the family system, you know. I was like, "Mom, you're a badass." Like, there was like a warrior spirit in her. Maybe it was survival, but like, that's pretty, like the fact she was able to, some people maybe wouldn't even have that power to like run away. Out of all of her siblings, she was the one that ran away. I started to develop this kind of positive relationship with it, with like looking at the positives in it. So I sat there with my mom and I told her this. She called me the next day and she goes, Aaron, I had a couple positive, I had a couple memories pop up, even though there weren't that many, because her mom and dad were both alcoholics and they were very angry people and there was a lot of abuse. And she goes, well, and she was like one of the youngest out of her whole family. And what she realized is that she had this one memory of her mom where when she was really young, like 4 or 5 years old, she remembers that for Christmas one year, there was a pink cake that her mom made for Christmas. And that was her positive memory. But she remembered how she felt in that moment for like a little kid. It's like, oh, mom made us this pink cake. And that was like a positive memory for her. And then she started realizing and started, not that she'd like completely transformed her relationship to the feminine or the mom or anything like that, but she started to kind of like see that maybe there was, some level of love there, kind of opened up something inside of her. So after that, she remembered that there was this one time, her and her sisters were living in a trailer with her mom at one point. And what happened was someone came, her mom said, be quiet, be quiet, 'cause it was like 1 in the morning. Some guy came up to like break into the trailer, and her mom got like a cast iron pan, and when the guy tried breaking in, she hit him across the head and knocked him out. Yeah, and my mom said she felt safe. Like, even though stuff happened inside of the family, her mom never hit my mom, and also she felt protected, like her mom did that, right? As silly as this all sounds though, there was like a reframing that was happening, like a reopening that was happening just from the awareness of this kind of information. That there was some form of positive energy there. So what we did with Mark, what I did with Mark Woolam is I was looking at this energy and what we did is we mapped out the first 5 years of when I was alive. And what we looked at was a couple different aspects of this. And we looked at the energy of it and he would ask me questions. Some of this, I didn't have all the information, but you can like intuitively trust your intuition on a lot of this. 0 years old, when I was born, there was a feeling that my mom felt like I could die. If I was almost miscarried, even, you know, being in the womb, it's like, something could happen, he could die. So there's this feeling of fear of that, of death. At age 1, what happened is, or that's when she was also age 0 to 1, is like worried that something bad could happen. Age 2, my mom told me that her dad died, even though there was all that trauma. When her dad died, my mom said she lost a whole bunch of weight. She was extremely in her head, and she was, I was 2 years old. You know, imagine a little baby that's wanting, you know, attention or affection, and there's someone that's just like in their own head. Have any of you, there's this video, I wish we had a projector here, 'cause I would love to show this video. It's, anyone ever heard of the Still Face Experiment? Anyone ever heard of that? So the still, it's a still face baby experiment where what they do is they show this video, this video, or they show this, it's like from the '90s, but basically what it is is it shows the relationship between a mom and the baby, and this is baby girl. And what happens is, is the mom is validating the baby. It's like, oh, like, like, like, like, like, encouraging it, responding to it, the baby's pointing, the mom looks over, just like completely like at one with the baby, just regulating and mirroring the baby's emotions. The baby feels seen and safe. And this baby, and they just have this beautiful connection. Then what the mom does is the mom turns around, has a still face, and just looks back at the baby with no emotion whatsoever. So what happens is the baby goes through a process where the baby's like, what the fuck is going on? You know, why is mom not mirroring my emotions? She's not regulating the emotions, the energy with me. Then what the baby does is the baby protests. The baby protests where it's like, it'll try pointing and then the mom doesn't point. The baby starts to get anxious, starts to get itchy. It's like, why is mom not mirroring my emotions? Why does she have no expression at all? So what ends up happening is the baby's spine will kind of go crazy. Like it literally feels itchy in its own skin without having the mirroring of the mother. So then what happens is the lady looks away again and then comes back and starts mirroring again to heal that energy. So what happens for many of us when it comes to abandonment is what happened is at a certain point, there was some form of still face, some form of abandonment, some form of feeling like there's some form of wall. But there was never the reintroduction of the mother coming back to mirror it again, to heal it. But then what we do is if we did not feel soothed, if we did not feel held, if we did not feel nurtured, then we look to the outside and we believe that we need to be, we need to do something in order to get that because we've let go of believing we are naturally it. This is when we move into our self-worth is based on what we do. Is this making sense? So when a baby is there, a baby is just worthy, the mother is mirroring it, the baby is being validated, nurtured, and soothed. If it's not getting its needs met, it then says, what do I need to do? What do I need to do? Do I need to be more quiet? Do I need to give something to mom? Do I need to regulate mom's emotions? Do I need to help parent? Like, do I need to ease tension in the family? And if I don't do that, then my needs aren't met. I don't feel soothed, I don't feel held, I don't feel nurtured. So the key and the healing to this process is becoming aware of how we within ourselves can feel that nurturing and connect to an energy that is greater than even our own mother. So there is that of an energy within our reality of archetypes. Anyone ever heard of archetypes? The archetype. So even though mom or dad, the dad, the masculine energy, because our parents to us represent relationships, and then one will represent masculine energy, one will represent feminine energy, and how we relate to that very much overlays how we relate to everyone else in our life. Does that make sense? So what happens is until we become aware of these energies, until we look at these energies, they stay in autopilot. So 4 years old came around and that's when my parents probably started, they divorced when I was 5. So 4 years old, I imagine they were fighting, 5 years old when the divorce actually happened. And then what he said is, I would go, he's like, how often would you go from your mom's to your dad's house? I'd go to my mom's house for 9 days and my dad's for 6 'cause he's a firefighter and he'd be off for 6 and then work off and on for 9. He said, 6 days is way too long for a 5-year-old to be away from their mom. So he told me, he's like, that was a thing. I was like, I had no idea. He's, you know, I'm at my dad's house. It was a thing. And because I was away for that long, there was that severance, that disconnection from that has had some form of effect on me. So what we then did, looking at this process, was look at the patterns of what happened from 0 to 5 years old to then draw a few conclusions about what kind of energy may have been spawned from that, what kind of meaning, what kind of energies become familiarized, the feeling of not feeling chosen, of having the energy switch from this to this. It was interesting, even looking at some of the, like the relationship between my mom and my dad, I was able to take the same stories between my mom and my dad and see how in certain relationships in my past were similar stories, and the people I would attract. Because we tend to attract people in our life that mirror back those subconscious stories, and those subconscious stories we get from our parents because they feel familiar. So a huge part of this healing is understanding this awareness of these patterns within ourself, looking at it, and then making the choice within ourselves to commit to a new part of ourselves. So the do versus be thing is important to really emphasize though. We believe we must do in order to get love and approval instead of just realizing we are already whole and complete. And that is just a premise that comes because there's some form of shame there. Shame is an emotion that stems from a belief that says, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And if mom and dad are physically or emotionally not there, Must've been me. Parents divorced when I was 5. They divorced. As a little kid, we think my fault. If I was different, maybe they would stay together. We don't have the intellectual awareness that like maybe it's just two people that didn't get along. We internalize it all. So looking at these energies helps us become more aware. And here, the key to abandonment that has been very powerful for me is looking at ways I can stop abandoning myself. And what that means is tuning to myself, tuning to my body. So much of it's spirituality, even what we're doing here is connecting to a group energy field, which is very powerful. But if we forget about our sense of self within that, our individuality within that, then we merge with everybody and we think everything is our stuff. Is this making sense? Okay, so the power in this whole entire process is in us developing a stronger relationship with our own sense of self and understanding that we can live according to higher values. The most powerful value to live by if you have an abandonment wound or are an empath to begin practicing more of, what do you think it is? I talk about it a lot. Meditation. Crying. Vulnerability. Vulnerability. Close. You could do meditation with vulnerability, I guess. So vulnerability, let's all say it. Vulnerability. One more time. Vulnerability. It's a hard word to say all at once, but you know, hey. Vulnerability. Vulnerability. Vulner means wound, and ability, it's your ability to go into your wound. When you have an abandonment wound, you have shame. I am broken, something wrong with me. What do we do with that shame when we feel it? Tuck it down and hide it. We do not want people to feel or to notice our shame. This is when we might repress or suppress energies. This is when we'll be fake to other people just to get their validation and approval. And that stems from that belief, that level of shame. Vulnerability shines light, and it takes courage to have vulnerability. But when you have the courage to have vulnerability, You begin opening up your own heart and you begin shining the light of awareness on the shame because shame hides in the dark. Shame does not wanna be seen, it does not wanna be felt. When you open up and you have the courage to accept the shame and to commit to vulnerability, now vulnerability, what is that? Vulnerability, it takes vulnerability to express how you really feel. When you did this, it made me feel this way. Sometimes empaths and people pleasers will have trouble expressing their emotions. When you, like saying no to something takes vulnerability, the vulnerability is avoided because there's a fear of being rejected, which to reject, what is rejection? Another form of abandonment. To be rejected is like death to somebody that has an abandonment wound. But the thing is, is the funny thing is, the more you express the real you, not attached to what other people think, even when you believe I could get rejected, it's funny how once you express the real you and it takes courage to do so, how much people respect you. As I started moving in 2, 3 years ago and I was working in this energy, it was a big shift for me because then I started valuing vulnerability over that of other people's approval and validation. So I also realized they couldn't really give me what I thought I wanted. It was like a never-ending thing of searching for it. So I made the commitment to vulnerability. I started being more vulnerable around friends and family. I started being more vulnerable. The times I wanted to shut down and not express something, I would then share it. And as I would do that, I started to feel more free. I noticed, hey, not everything, everything actually went better than I could have even imagined. That meant I had times where I would call other friends and talk about some things from the past and stuff and kind of like clear the energy. and I could feel just like this new level of depth. And even sometimes if people didn't receive it well, I just felt more, I just felt different about myself. Why? Because it's who I choose to be. I choose to live by vulnerability over searching for people's approval. It takes vulnerability to ask someone out because you could get rejected. It takes vulnerability to express how you feel about your job to your partner. Relationships, your kids, any area of your life, there are many aspects that we might hold back because we don't want to feel certain emotions, but if we had the vulnerability, we would then go through a massive process of transformation. So everyone write down vulnerability. This is a focus for today, vulnerability. Everyone right now, bring the energy inside of your body. You remember what I mentioned earlier with the, When I went to Costa Rica and we did that process of feeling the separation, in your pair share, before you do it, I want you to do the frame technique. And here's what you do. All you do, let's all take a deep breath in and out right now. Let it all go. Let's take another deep breath in. Let it all go. Now, the frame technique is done by staring at a specific object. You can stare at the roses right here. So everyone, right now, focus on the roses. Now, take in another deep breath in and out with your eyes focused on the roses. Let it all go. Now, on the in-breath, What you will do is you'll focus on the separation, the space in between you and the roses, and on the in-breath, you're gonna focus really, and just, you're gonna focus specifically on the roses themselves. What'll happen is then on the out-breath, what you will do is you will soften your gaze around the roses. You will not change your eyes and look around it. You're just gonna soften the gaze around it. But on the in-breath, you focus specifically on the separation between you and your body and the roses, and on the out-breath, you just relax it. That's it. You focus on the in-breath. We're gonna do it here in a minute. You focus on the in-breath on self. The roses represent self and everything around it represents other. And what we're doing is we're creating a stronger sense of self within our own body. And this is where you bring the energy back to self. You bring the energy back home. So what we're gonna do is we're going to, on the in-breath, feel the separation. This is just something you sense, no need to overthink this. Just do it with everybody and you'll begin to sink into it and begin to feel into it. Something you feel more than something that we need to intellectualize. But what happens is as you do this process, it has a very therapeutic effect on your body. but you start to feel more safe within your own body, and it becomes very powerful for that reason. So just to recap, we're gonna all breathe in and out together, and what you'll do is on the in-breath, you're gonna focus on the roses, you're gonna feel the separation between you and the roses, and then on the out-breath, you're still gonna look at the roses, but you're gonna focus on just letting go and softening your gaze around the roses. Does this make sense? And just let, trust yourself to go through this. This does not need to be more complicated. It's super simple. I have YouTube videos on it if you want more details later. I meet people sometimes in public that recognize me from my videos that tell me this is the thing that changed it all for them. It's like, it's underestimated 'cause it's so simple, but it allows you to feel more safe in your body and to delineate what is self versus other. And then it makes it easier to set boundaries because you realize It's not yours to mitigate. So you bring that energy back. So now let's focus on the roses. We're gonna take some deep breaths in and out together, and then you're gonna breathe at your own rhythm. But what you're gonna do is feel the separation on the in-breath, and on the out-breath, relax. All right, so let's take a deep breath into the nose and look at the roses. Let it all go. Now keep breathing, and as you do, focus on the roses. Feel the separation, the space between you and the roses. And on the out-breath, let your gaze— let the peripheral relax. So in-breath, You feel that of the separation. On the out-breath, you relax and you feel the connection to everything around you. Take another deep breath in. Let it go. Breathe that energy into yourself, feeling the separation. Let it go and relax. Breathe it in. Let it go. Feel the separation on the in-breath. Feel the connection on the out-breath. Feel the separation on the in-breath. Feel the connection on the out-breath and relax. One more. Separation on the in-breath. Connection and relax your peripheral on the out-breath. Now you can bring your energy back and just relax now. Now that exercise you just did, if you were to do for 10 minutes a day, would have a very powerful effect. And it gets easier the more you do it. The more you do it, the more you feel in your sense of frame. That's why it's called the frame technique. You feel like you're in your frame. You get to choose what things mean to you. You get to choose to be vulnerable. You get to choose what's your stuff, what's other people's stuff, and what you internalize. And that's where the power really comes in. So, you're gonna get in your pair share now, and what I'd like you to do for a minute is to do that with the other person. Feel, and as you're looking at them, feel the separation between you and them. Feel the safety in your body. On the out-breath, focus on the peripheral around them, on the connection. But see if you notice, I want you to pay attention, do you notice a difference between the connection to this person as you do so? Because if someone wants something from you, you'll feel that energy that they want something. You'll feel them projecting their energy at you to get you to do something, and what happens when someone wants you to do something? Feels controlling, and you, repel. But if someone brings their energy back, if someone brings their energy back and they're feeling the separation, they're feeling safe inside of their own body, you feel a different level of connection to that and you feel safe. One of the most powerful meditations I have ever made is a Raise Your Dominant Vibration Permanently meditation. I have seen the comments from this. You can check them out just to see what's possible for you. But doing this meditation for 21 days have a very powerful effect on your energy. Now, this is a completely free YouTube video that you can check out right here. Listen to it for 21 days and watch how much your life changes. This meditation will change your dominant vibration permanently. Your vibration