If you have ABANDONMENT Issues, WATCH THIS (cure instantly)

Most people are not even aware of the inner child that exists inside of them. And when we are not aware of that inner child and what its needs are, we will crave that of validation, approval. We may find ourselves being very critical or having a lot of criticism within ourselves. We may crave encouragement that we never received as kids. If as kids we did not feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured, we will project those desires onto other people into our life, wanting them to subconsciously meet our own needs. We may find ourselves in positions of wanting and seeking someone in a partnership, in a romantic relationship, to meet those needs. We may be trying to close the loop from childhood with many different people in our life. And what happens is a lot of people do not even have the awareness of this inner child, and they're not aware that if they were to develop a relationship with their inner child, that it could completely transform their life from the inside out. Some of the most powerful work that I've seen done, not only in my own life, but in tens of thousands of people that have gone through different live events or 21-day challenges that I've run, is seeing people go through the process of becoming aware of what is called their divine child, as Carl Jung calls it. Every one of us has the divine child inside of us. This innocent part of ourselves that in the past may have felt not seen, not heard, not soothed, not nurtured, and therefore in a way feels trapped in past patterns. And what's interesting is even though we grow up, even though we may find ourselves as a 20-something-year-old, a 30-something, 40-something-year-old adult or more, There is a part of ourself that is still seeking validation, approval, and familiarity as well. It may be the toxic side of this, of attracting narcissistic people, attracting manipulative people. And at a deep fundamental level, this might be what the inner child feels comfortable with. It feels familiar. Now, in this video, what I wanna do is I wanna give you an actual process process that you can use to completely transform your life from the inside out. Some of the most powerful transformative work that I have done has been my own work with my own inner child. I want to share with you a little bit of something that I experienced in Sedona when I went to what is called a family constellation therapy session, which completely blew my mind. And I want to show you how you can develop a relationship with your own inner child And in meditation every single day, as you are with this part of yourself, you will find that many different areas of your life begins to transform as a result. It is bizarre how much changes when you begin doing this kind of work because it's getting straight to the core. This is why I believe many people have blocks when it comes to attracting a loving relationship. This is why many people may find themselves in certain attachment styles where they're either avoidant and pushing away love subconsciously, or they are that of anxious towards love and then still pushing it away subconsciously. And this will help you get to the core of what that is so that there is a part of yourself that begins to be healed. You ever hear people that say that? There's a part of me that wants this and there's a part of me that wants this. There's literally that part of you is your inner child. Now this inspired me because I was actually watching a video. We're gonna look at that of a couple clips from a video of Theo Von, who's a comedian, with Dax Shepard, who's also a comedian. These two people are having a conversation about their struggles in relationships. And I thought it was a thing that we could touch on today because there's so much to learn from each of their childhoods to also the things that they are seeking on the outside to also even their success when it comes to different dynamics in relationships, but also what you can do with that. Because at a certain point in this couple-minute clip you're gonna see, Dax Shepard says, "To be aware is not enough." And that is true. You can be aware of toxic patterns. You can be aware that, "Oh, I attract narcissistic people or manipulative people," but that doesn't mean anything's gonna change. And what I wanna do is show you what does close the loop more so than just awareness. Awareness is a big part of the process, but if you don't do anything with it, you do stay stuck in the pattern. And in this beautiful example of this kind of vulnerable conversation between Dax Shepard and Theo Von, I wanna show you what we can learn and also point out some things about it. Some of this will have to do with Freudian psychology, Carl Jungian psychology, But let's take a look at it right now.

You know, oh, I remember my first, like, or my second girlfriend, and we were like really in love. And what age? I think this was in college. And she and I, she broke up with me. She'd had it. And I remember saying, you can't break up with me. You're my mom. That's what I remember. It came out of my fucking face.

And that was just a slight improvement over spitting in her hair. That's where you had matured to by the time you're in college. You can't, you're my your mom. Yeah, what a Freudian slip.

It's a baby's Freudian waterslide, dude.

So a Freudian slip is when somebody says something that is true in their subconscious and it just slips out. And what happened is when many times what we do, if our inner child and the inner child, a part of us, did not close the loop in childhood or feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured What we do is we project those needs and desires onto the people that we are dating. You may find yourself, if you had maybe a narcissistic parent growing up, you might attract narcissistic people into your life, trying to turn them, trying to heal them subconsciously, knowing that maybe they subconsciously can't really meet your needs or it was a toxic environment, but there's a part of you that feels unloved resolved from that energy. So many times as well, we attract people that are playing out certain patterns that we are trying to heal. And there are certain lessons that we can learn as well. So one thing I wanted to point out about that is that when Theo Von said to this girl, "You can't break up with me, you're my mom," a lot of times what people do if they have a mom wound or a dad wound is they're trying to find that in other people. It's like, I remember when I was a kid, I read this book called "Are You My Mommy?" It's this little bird going around going, "Are you my mommy?" And going over to like a broom and going like, "Are you my mommy?" And what happens is if the inner child and part of us did not feel validated, approved of, seen, heard, or nurtured, we will go out into reality looking for that, trying to turn people into someone that can actually meet the needs. But of course, normally you also attract emotionally unavailable people in that pattern as well. So I just wanted to point that out real quick. So let's move on.

But it blew, it came out, it like came out. It just, I was like, you can't break up with me, you're my mom.

Oh my Lord.

And I was like, what was that? And I didn't know for years what that even meant. And then once I got into recovery and started getting a look at my life, I was able to be like, wow, dude. Like I had, no understanding of like how to get affection or be fair with affection or anything like that.

Yeah.

I mean, I didn't have a template. I didn't have a fucking idea. I didn't know.

What was her response? Do you remember?

She—

I know she felt probably bad for me, you know?

Oh, good.

She loved me for sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

And she's a super loving girl. But, but I think she probably years later probably saw like, oh, that dude was not—

he was not ready.

Yeah, that guy was not ready.

No, no, he's not ready for a mature—

and he's still fucking just Trying to get ready, but he's trying to get ready. But that stuff doesn't go away, man. That's the crazy thing. I thought at certain, like, like at certain times in my life I'd be like, oh, in a couple years this will be gone. But it doesn't go away unless you do something about it.

Yeah, you have— I have the fantasy that to be aware of it would solve it. Yeah, like, oh, I see what's happening. I'm just trying to get, you know, I'm trying to heal. Oh God, I could go super deep, which is like and this is recent, and this is probably too much for your show or the dudes who listen to this, but—

Real quick before we move on, because what he's about to say I think is very interesting. Prior to this, he was talking about how he was in an open relationship with one woman for 9 years and pretty much all of his 20s. This is the Dax Shepard that was saying that. And it sounds like from what he's explaining in this podcast, he's very good with women in the sense that he's able to, you know, basically receive a lot of affection, receive a lot of attention. And on the other side of that, when Theo Von was talking, he was more so leading to basically that it was something that's more challenging for him. Being able to receive affection and love is something that he had no template for. To be, when they say that the awareness is not enough, that's what I'm talking about. And by the end of this video, you'll have more of a template and an understanding with what you can actually do to close the loop rather than just being aware that there's this inner child part of you that may feel not seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured, and it's looking for it on the external. So let's get into this though. This, this is very interesting. But no, we've—

dude, if I cry on here one more time, I'm literally turning into the Garth Brooks of podcasts.

Yeah, me too. I've been crying all the time. Yeah, every— I didn't cry for 30 years and now I can't make it through a day without crying, bro. It's like It's fucking being sober.

Yeah.

It's like you got the medicine, you don't have anything to numb it, and here it is. But I also think, like, there was a sexual component, which is like, okay, so my mom adores me. That's obvious. I was the golden child. I did not lack for a mom who believed in me or supported me or thought I was wonderful. She definitely did. But something would take her away from me, and I was smart enough to realize Oh, we can't fulfill this romantic desire of hers. Like, that's something we can't fulfill. She's going to have to go get boyfriends, right? AKA, she's going to have to have a sexual relationship with people, right? So I think in some weird way, and I think I'm just starting to understand this aspect, which is like, I have to give that to any woman if I want her to stay around in a way that is world-class and you can't go, you don't want to go shopping for more. Like, the priority I put on that part, the sexual part, I think was very outsized for what a woman would even give a shit about. Oh, just as a little kid, I was like, oh, the only thing I don't have that my mom needs is sexual part. So I mean, that's what I want her to stay at all times, and I don't want any of these guys to come around. So if I now, if I'm having this experience that also feels loving and nurturing and with a female, My thought is like, I have to give her that thing in a way that she'll never go need it and leave me for it.

So what Dax is talking about here is a complex by Freud that is called the Oedipus complex. And it has to do with this desire for mom and boy child, or a lot of times it's the other side for women to men, to their dads. But this repressed sexual desire to be at homeostasis and to in a way be in a relationship with mom or dad. I know it sounds kind of weird, but what he is talking about here is basically that sexual energy of wanting to basically meet the needs of his mom, to be in union with that of his mom. And what he recognized was that he could not fulfill that desire And he eventually explains that his mom was like with 3 different things. He had 3 different stepdads by the age of 9. And his mom was going out and getting her needs met. You know, he couldn't meet those needs. So she would go out and there was a part of him that probably felt not enough, that felt that he needed to, in order to receive love, in order to completely meet the needs of his mom, he had to be that for other women in his life. So now there's a projection of that energy where he said he would overperform or overdeliver never in that category around women because they wouldn't want them to shop around in the same way that he felt he wasn't enough as a kid because his mom was shopping around. Now, what I also want to point out is that from Dax Shepard and Theo Von's different childhoods, you can see how one was the golden child who could do no wrong, who had an incredible amount of affection, and then also he was someone that wasn't even in a monogamous relationship for 9 years because there was a part of him that maybe wanted— did not want that commitment, but also he could easily receive the affection of many different people. So he would be— he was in an open relationship for so long. So it sounds like receiving affection and love for him was very easy, and when he was a kid, it was very easy. Now, on the other side of that, Theo Von's experience was it was much harder for him to experience that. And one thing that he eventually shares inside this podcast is that he, at one point, had memories of when his mom and him were going to that— playing baseball. His mom would say, "I'm waiting in the car. If you don't hit the ball within the first 4 innings," the first 4 innings of baseball, "we're leaving." And that's exactly what happened. So he, if did not hit the ball in the first 4 or 5 rounds or innings, he would then be pulled out of the game and his mom and him would leave. And imagine as a little boy how that would feel, how embarrassing that could be to be that of somebody that is at a baseball game and there's this pressure and this energy of I have to perform right now and if I don't perform, I can't continue to play. And then instead of getting the encouragement, he gets more shame and more punished for not performing at that level. So then taken away from the game, that'd be also embarrassing probably with the other kids, I would imagine as well. Now, the thing that I want to point your attention to with this, and this whole podcast, I mean, there's about 17-minute clip that talks about this whole entire, them talking about their struggles in relationships, which I found very valuable for just understanding the different dynamics and it just being a vulnerable expression of how we sometimes deal with things from our past and how that projects itself onto the people that we meet into the future. Now, in general, the thing that can make such a big difference when it comes to this is not just becoming aware of the patterns. That's a big part of it, is becoming aware of it. The other aspect of those that allows us to close the loop is connecting with the parts of ourself in our past that feels not seen, not soothed, not heard, and not nurtured. Now, let me explain to you a little bit about one of the most powerful processes I've been through, and then we'll talk about that of what you can actually do to heal that inner child part of yourself that's trying to get its needs met. Now, first off, I have a friend of mine that's a YouTuber that's been doing this kind of work for a long time. She was working with Mark Woolam, who wrote the book, It Didn't Start With You, all about how inherited family trauma affects our lives in subconscious ways. And she basically— what she told me is a couple of things. She says, if you— she told me that if you get a session with Mark Woolam, it can have a very powerful effect on your life. He'll help you become aware of these patterns. And then also she told me family constellation therapy is extremely powerful. Now, basically what I did is over the course of like 8 months, I did both of these things. I got a session with Mark Woolam where he helped me become aware of a lot of the childhood patterns I was unaware of. And basically within the first 5 years of your life, you go through a process of becoming aware where with what was the energy of mom, what was the energy of dad, and you, father, mother, child dynamic. And within the first year, the second year, the third year, all the way to the fifth year, what were the most powerful things that impacted you? And what you do is you look at that because that first 5 years sets the pattern for the next cycles of your life. They're just on autopilot. And even think about it, as a kid, you are in the theta wave brainwave state, which is completely the subconscious mind. You're literally absorbing everything that happens and creating your model of reality. Now, one of the reasons inner child healing is also so powerful is because when you heal that inner child part of you, which normally goes back to being between born and 5 years old, what ends up happening is that was when you were making the model of your reality for how the world works. That was something we did when we were kids. And then in theta state, that's what influenced our subconscious mind. So if you want to heal the blueprint and the belief systems you have about the world, if you go back and you do this inner child healing, it also allows you to rewire the beliefs you have about reality and how you relate to other people. So when I did that, one thing that I became aware with Mark Woolam was I became aware of a few different things. One of them was when I was 1 or 2 years old, my mom's dad passed away and my mom did not have a good relationship with her dad. She ran away from home when she was 13 or 14 years old and she ended up having foster parents after that. But there was a lot of abuse that happened in the family and basically she ran away. She didn't have a good relationship with her dad. Nonetheless, when I was 1 or 2 years old, my mom's dad passed away. That had a very powerful effect on my mom. She lost weight, she did not eat. And now imagine if I was 1 or 2 years old and I was looking up at my mom and she was in her own process. She was just, you know, imagine you to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured, you need to have somebody there that's present. That's with you. And if emotionally they're checked out because they're going through their own process, imagine how a baby would feel. If you've ever heard of that, of the Still Face Experiment, you'll know that it is a very powerful attunement between the mom and the baby. When you think of that, just simply watching this video right now or this little clip right here, I'll explain it to you, it can have a very powerful effect on the own inner child inside of yourself. So what it is is a mom and her child are interacting. It's called the Still Face Experiments. They did these experiments back in the '90s, maybe even the '80s. What they would do is a mom and a baby are interacting. The mom is looking at the baby. The baby and the mom are having this beautiful mirroring of emotions. And the mom is doing a great job of helping the baby feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. Then what happens though is The mom looks away, and when the mom looks back, she has a still face. It's part of the experiment. No expression whatsoever. Now what happens is the baby starts to— at first is kind of confused, but then the baby starts to freak out a little bit. The baby then does what are called protest behaviors to get mom to come back. The baby might scream or point, and normally when the baby points, mom looks. Mom goes, "Goo goo, ga ga," and points where the baby looks. Mom doesn't do that because she's in the still face experiment. The baby points, mom doesn't look. The baby keeps trying to get mom's attention, she has a still face. Then what happens is the baby starts to get so uncomfortable, the baby starts to cry, and then at the very peak of it, the baby can't even bear what she is seeing, so she turns around and contorts her spine to not even see it because it's that painful to look at. Now, within a few minutes of mom emotionally checking out and having a still face, the baby's nervous system completely freaked out. The baby no longer felt seen, soothed, heard, and nurtured. Now, imagine the beliefs, the model of reality that that baby might have from that, of that kind of experience of that interaction with mom. Now, here's the thing. That was the second part of the experiment. The third part of the experiment is mom comes back. Mom says, "Oh, I'm so sorry, baby." She picks up the baby, she holds, and the baby then heals its nerve, the baby's nervous system, and then regulated again. Now, this is a perfect example of what has not been done for many of our own inner child in the past in some way, whether mom was physically or emotionally unavailable, whether it was a connection to dad, if there was a part of us that felt not soothed, heard, seen, or nurtured, then that's the part of us that's craving approval and validation from other people. So when I became aware of this, when my mom's dad passed away, I became aware of this obviously now, but I could look back and see when I talked to my mom, she's like, "Oh yeah, my mom was like, my dad passed away when you were 1 or 2 and I lost so much weight and didn't sleep." I'm thinking, well, imagine the version of me that's 1 or 2 years old. How would that version of me feel? I found out also, and this came up later in deeper kind of like meditation, but when my brother was born, I was 3 years old, almost 2 and a half, 3 years old. When my brother was born, he had a lot of health complications. He had asthma. And what happened was he was in the hospital a lot. And when he was born, there was a lot of attention that my brother naturally got because from his first couple years of life, he was always sick or there was something going on. And my mom overly nurtured him to help him. Not overly nurtured him, but there was an energy where there was almost like a certain dynamic of attention subconsciously that my mom probably wasn't even aware of. But my dad talked about it, said that, It's almost like rush to the hospital for every little thing. And in that moment though, there was a part of me, what I realized is there was a part of me when my brother was born, and this is often talked about in childhood therapy, when the second child is born, the first oldest child feels dethroned. I could definitely feel that also because my brother naturally needed, had a lot of needs and attention that was naturally given to him. There was a part of me that felt maybe I'm not, there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not worthy to have the attention, some level of shame there. So when this attention shifted when I was 2 or 3 years old, there was a part of me that then did not feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured. Now when I was 5 years old, my parents actually divorced. So things weren't working out between mom and dad between 3 to 5 years old. Things were probably falling apart in a certain way a couple years before. Talking to Mark Woolley made me aware of all of those energy dynamics. And what I became aware of is what I could then work with. Now let's fast forward to that of family constellation therapy, which is a German process. It's gonna sound pretty esoteric, pretty weird, but it is extraordinarily powerful. And it gets into everything that I'm talking about right now as well when we're talking about this inner child healing. Now, basically what it is, is, I had a session, I went to Sedona for this. And what happens is the idea is that the genetic line or the energy pattern within you and your family dynamic is within your energetic field. Now what happens is in family constellation therapy, what you do is there is a therapist that's certified in this. And then there are people that help facilitate the process of becoming aware of these patterns and closing the loops from childhood. Now what happened is I first, I had a session with this woman and she helped me become aware of certain patterns. And what we did is we moved pillows into a certain part of the room. We could see whether the pillows were facing each other and what the dynamic was between different people in my family. It was between my dad, my mom, and I. And what I became aware of was that my mom's energy, because she had so much trauma in her childhood, she was facing the energy she was trying to close the loop from, whereas my dad's energy was facing her and she was not facing my dad. It's an energetic example of where the dynamic was. Now imagine then my dad's energy would be more anxious trying to get my mom's, you know, fix my mom, attention, approval, whatever. But my mom had the energy onto something else. So there was some awareness there. But then 2 days later, I come back and we did an actual family constellation therapy. Now what this meant is there were 4 people that were brought in who were awesome. And they were people that were brought in that did this kind of work with this practitioner at other times. And basically what they do is you pick that of certain people to play certain members of your family, even people that maybe you've never met. So what happened was these people that I just met who knew nothing about me, who knew that of no context or like, oh, you're gonna play this person in my family who did this, this, and this. No, none of that. So I had somebody that played my mom, somebody that played my mom's mom, and someone that played my mom's dad who I never actually met. They died before I was born or I just never knew them. And then of course my mom, and then somebody played me. It was a 70-year-old guy played me. And basically what happens is they're in this living room at this house where I'm at, and what they do is they get into character, they get into state, I guess, and they see what comes up. They see what energy comes through. And what happens is they start playing out the energy pattern dynamics of your family without them knowing anything. It's freaking bizarre. But what I became aware of, and not to give away necessarily everything, I will say one thing that was an insight for me was the version of me, the 70-year-old guy that was playing me, he was going up and trying to get mom's attention. Mom, this lady that played my mom kind of looked like my mom. She was also a parent. It was immediately when she came into the room, I knew she's playing my mom 'cause I kind of knew what was gonna happen. And basically she was like going through a process. She was going through like an internal process and the 70-year-old guy that was playing me went up to her and was like, "Mom." And she was just kind of like in her process. And then after a couple moments, the version of the guy playing me said, "Screw it." And he started playing with stuff that was around. He started playing with these little ornaments. And what happened was, He said that basically, he said, screw it, I'm just gonna get busy. I'm just gonna focus on doing things, which was very interesting for me because I believe that creating success in my life has been something that I've done also. I mean, part of it is I do what I love and I'm passionate, but also there's a part of me that can see that staying busy, like I'm somebody that's going to the gym, I'm somebody that's doing, lots of things all the time. I can tell that there's a part of me that definitely in the past has distracted myself for that reason, from those emotions, to stay busy, believing I need to stay busy. And then the most powerful part of this though, there's other things that happened, but the most powerful part of this family constellation therapy was at the very end, I actually, not the 7-year-old guy, I got in the arms of this woman that was playing my mom. And I laid on the floor and it was kind of, it took me a minute to get into state with this 'cause it felt kind of cheesy. Once I sank into it though, she was like nurturing me in basically a way that I felt I was never nurtured growing up. And what happened is as she was nurturing me, there was this sharp pain in my heart, which made no sense. I'm like, I should just be feeling love. And it felt very uncomfortable. But what was getting brought up was all the pain. And as I sat with that pain, as I sat with that emotion and that pain inside of my heart, it began to leave out of my body. And my body even felt like it wanted to like shake to release energy. After about 5 or 10 minutes of me laying in this woman's arms, she's nurturing me, she's like rubbing my head, and there was this heart opening that happened where after that I felt so much more open, So much more understanding and seeing that in the past I had blocked love because love felt uncomfortable. I did not, as Theo Von was saying, have that template for how to receive that affection. Even though there was a part of me that desired it, there was a part of me that literally did not feel comfortable with it. But the more I sat with those emotions, the more comfortable I felt, the more I embraced it. So these couple stories I've shared with you are different examples for how you can work with that own inner child and part of you. Now, one of the most powerful things for you to do that I believe can completely transform your life is learning how to talk and to connect to that part of yourself. Look at your timeline of that version of you, and you might find that there's a version of you that maybe was 2 years old, 6 years old, 12 years old. A lot of times I find getting to the core is like between 0 to 5 years old. But what you can do is do a meditation. A meditation can completely transform your life for helping you get to the subconscious mind, which is the theta state, to connect to the version of you that literally feels scared in your past. It's inside of you right now. And in meditation, you gain access to that subconscious part of you that has been ignoring that aspect of yourself for so long. You see, if you don't go back and validate and nurture and soothe that inner child part of you, you will continue to project it out and to search for it in the outer reality with other people. But other people cannot give it to you. It is only something you can experience from within. So doing an inner child meditation can help you to literally heal this part of you. After I watched this podcast yesterday, I was watching it when I was like hanging out at night. And I found it so interesting that I went into literally an hour or two process of me meditating and connecting to my own inner child. It actually was kind of stimulating. Like I was trying to go to bed, but I was like, I felt like something was shifting inside of myself, but I didn't know, but it was kind of activating me. It took me a while to fall asleep. But what I did is I went back to that inner child part of me in different memories and different, with just intention, using my subconscious mind to connect to it. And I imagined what that version of me felt. And what I did was I then would, I would then interact with that version of me. And what I realized is there was a 2-year-old version of me that I didn't have to intellectually say anything to. He just wanted to be held. So what I did is I held that part of myself. I imagined what that version of me would be wearing, And then what I would do is I would imagine it and switch the perspective and then imagine that I was in my own arms or in my mom's arms. Imagine even if you didn't have the most emotionally available parents, what would it look like if they did? If you did allow yourself to imagine that. The reason I say that is because every time we remember something from the past, we take it outta the memory bank, we look at it, we change it and put it back. This is what Neville Goddard talks, the revision technique, where you can literally revise your past and rewire your past to change your present because the idea is every moment's a new moment. So what I've literally been doing is reconnecting to the inner child part of me when I was 2 years old or 6 years old or 12 years old, 'cause there's different stages of development. Maybe I'll make a future video on this, but there's different stages of development where our inner child needed different things. And if we didn't learn those things, we're now trying to learn them in childhood. So inner child meditation, connecting to that part of yourself. What would you say to that part of yourself? And what does that version of you want or need from you? Maybe it's for you to be present. Maybe it's for you to be compassionate, understanding, and accepting. I predict that the more you connect to this inner child part of you and the more you love this inner child part of yourself and the more you give that version of you validation and approval and support and love and nurturing, the less they will look on the outside. So there is an inner child meditation that I have that you can listen to for free. It's in High Vibe Tribe, my free community. It's one of the most powerful meditations I've ever made. You energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii using your intention. And what you do is you connect to this inner child part of you and heal it from the inside out. It's gonna be in High Vibe Tribe under the meditation section. It's completely free. Go ahead and click the link. You can click the link below to watch that. And if you want to learn more about this dynamic between how you connect and more about this inner child healing that I'm talking about, at a live event I did recently, I talked about this and you can watch an entire video. It's one of my most popular videos as of recently. You can watch it right here. So empaths, people that can feel other people's energy, this is both a superpower and sometimes a curse on the