A coach uses a baby as a metaphor to help someone see she's worthy just by existing, not by meeting others' expectations. She learned as a child to be the "good girl" to earn love, which led her to overgive and fix others. The breakthrough: the rules she imposed on herself are unnecessary.
You're— what you're saying is you don't believe that you are worthy for being you. You are only worthy if you fix other people.
That's true. Yes.
This baby right here, everyone look at the baby.
Isn't it cute?
I want you to hold the baby. Okay. Is this baby worthy for what it does?
Yes.
What does the baby have to do to be worthy?
Just be a baby.
But what if the baby's like, I'm not going to be a baby? What would, what would an example be of the baby not being a baby?
There is not one.
Is the worthiness of a baby connected to what it does?
No.
So could we say that the baby is worthy for being a baby? It's just worthy because it exists.
Yes.
What if we put the baby here and we said the baby is only worthy if it sleeps for 7 hours a night? That's when the baby is worthy. Be a good baby. Does this seem kind of silly?
Yes.
For many of us, the baby that may represent like who, who did we have to be growing up? To get the love and approval of mom and dad? Who did you have to be?
I had to be the good girl.
Yep.
Always like, just don't cause no problems.
Yep.
Don't make me mad. Just stay out my way.
Yeah. Now, the cool thing is at one point you were as worthy as this baby. You were a worthy baby that was just being. You didn't know how to be anything other than a baby. So you were worthy. Then mom or dad or something happened and they said, you be good girl. You will be good. You will be this. You will be that. And you said, Okay, I will be good. I will fix. I will help. I will make these things my responsibility because if I give to you, then you will give back to me and you will deem me as the good baby, the good kid, the good girl. What is the breakthrough here for you so far with everything that we're mentioning?
I would say that I'm worthy.
Yeah, it's easy to see this baby is worthy, but we put all these rules as to what it takes for us to be worthy.
