If You Seek Attention (Or Deflect It!) WATCH THIS (The Shadow)

First off, here I am in front of these two things right here that represent the ultimate epitome of attention seeking. But nonetheless, I want to share with you what I've learned through the process of creating daily videos on YouTube, being driven one by wanting to help people, but two, a deep level of feeling empty and in a way unworthy and not validated. And one of the ways I went about validating myself was by getting attention and helping people in the hopes that then I could finally be worthy and feel valuable and feel validated. And there's a big shadow side to both attention seeking and deflecting attention as well that I want to share with you because in some ways I also have that within me as well. So there's a shadow side to both of these and heal until you heal the wound of attention seeking or attention deflection. You'll continue to look for things on outside sources. So in this video, I'm gonna show you one of the most important things you need to know about this, how you can heal it so that then in a way you don't need it, but you naturally know what to do with it and how to manage it in a way so that it is natural for your identity. That's the main part of this video that's important to understand. It's a natural byproduct of who you are, not something you're seeking or needing in order to feel validated or approved. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I want to share with you more about the vibration of attention seeking and attention deflection and understanding that these two sides of the coin are based in fear and many times come from a childhood, a childhood trauma or a childhood wound of not feeling worthy, whole, and complete. And when I look at my own life and in a way the success that has come from it, I think that in many ways attention seeking for me has actually served me because it's like when I started making daily videos on YouTube, first off, I started making videos and first I started making videos on like personal development and then eventually I made law of attraction videos. Those started to get a certain level of views and then I made a couple of videos that went viral and I was working a 9-to-5 job at the time. And then my channel started to explode. And then it became this interesting race of getting more attention at the expense of sometimes my own authenticity. And you see this, by the way, in pop culture or on YouTube in general. Many of you maybe have heard of the Logan Paul thing, the Logan Paul and the forest thing. Well, when that happened, it was attention seeking that went to a level that preceded somebody's morals or even social intelligence to understand that something was, you know, not right or wrong because it's almost like the drive for attention can override different like filters that would say, no, normally this is a cult. Look at the David Dobrik thing. David Dobrik right now, who I used to watch all the time, David Dobrik pushed it to a level to get attention and to get views and vlogs to a level to where one of his friends like got injured and almost lost his eye and other people have been harmed. Well, the shadow side of this is that it becomes literally like a drug that you keep needing more and more and more in order to feel validated, worthy, or on top of it. There's almost like a fear that I'm not gonna be as big or I'm not gonna continue to, you know, have a certain quality unless I do that. For me, I remember that it was like I was making videos because I was passionate about it. And then it moved into like making videos for views. What's gonna get views? And when I would focus on that, the results didn't come as good because it wasn't as authentic. And then what also happened is I would put out videos that would in a way have people view me in a certain way. And yes, I'm pretty vulnerable in a lot of my videos and I share the same stories over and over again just to, because it's something I think is relatable and, you know, In a way, it's my way of getting out there and trying to connect with people because I think sometimes I don't feel that own connection within myself. I feel like I'm looking at reality and I'm looking, you know, it looks like, by the way, I have everything figured out. Some people think I'm actually enlightened. They look at my YouTube videos and they're like, "Oh, Aaron's enlightened." I'm not enlightened. I still have, waves and peaks and valleys. There's times I feel great and then there's times I feel not so great. No matter how many YouTube videos you've seen of me, I don't have it all figured out. But at the same time, I've learned a lot through the process of visualizing for months this gold play button. That was a goal of mine. And I thought that when I got it, I would feel some sense of worthiness or wholeness. I'm literally searching for wholeness through attention seeking, through attention. Now, why is that? It's because when I was a kid, when I was a couple years old, the attention shifted from me to my little brother. I was 3 years old when my brother was born. My brother had all these health issues. My mom's attention went from me to him. Then I felt alone. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I have a great mom, by the way. She's doing the best she could with where she was. My brother needed more attention, but that's just how I felt. I felt alone, I felt unworthy. The attention shifted. Why did the attention shift? There's something wrong with me. That was the belief and that was the childhood wound. And the interesting thing is that childhood wound never went away. And even after I was making daily videos on YouTube, I was using that in a way to become successful. In a way, it served me. It served me to become successful. But at the same time, it's rooted in a shadow and a belief that I'm not worthy for just being me. And many people that crave attention, what they're craving is they're craving validation. They're craving their mom or their dad to tell you, "Hey bud, you got this. It's okay. I see you. I love you. You're so special." And as a kid, that's something that you wanna hear. And if you don't hear it when you're a kid, you will search for it in external validation in life. You'll give a shit what people think, let me tell you that. My drive to be successful on YouTube also was having me protect this little self-image that I have of how I want people to perceive me. Once I let go of that self-image and once I let go of that goal, that's when I started not caring so much what people think. Then I started being more polarizing and I started being more authentic. And that authenticity is something that feels good. It is natural for me to make videos like this where I'm feeling authentic like this. But if I'm trying to put a certain filter around me and I want you to perceive of me in a certain way, then guess what? It's not as natural. It requires more energy. So the balance to this, I think, is being aware of where your motivation is. And the way that I healed that is I had to go and I had to in a way, feel the abandonment and feel the aloneness that I felt when I was a kid and let it be there, not try to control it. And at the same time, like in a way, rearranged the way that I thought about myself. And even think about that. In Buddhist scripture, different scriptures, who is the self? I need self-esteem. Who is the self that needs the esteem? There's two different people here. All there really is is source intelligence, God, the universe, whatever you wanna call it. It's manifesting itself through billions of different people on the planet. Everything is source energy. The self though is this thing that we need to build up because it didn't feel big when it was a kid. And the key is realizing we're all in a way just channeling higher levels of our own consciousness. When I make these videos, it's channeling and everybody has the ability to do this. I'm not special. I've just been doing this hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times days in a row so it gets easier and easier. In a way, we're all an aspect of the divine, but just as much, at the same time, we put that on importance, we make it on a pedestal, then guess what? We then have to control shit and it creates resistance. It's true just as much as we're all a part of source energy, just as much as we are all parts of source energy, so is dog shit. It's also source energy. Everything is. We live in a dream of reality and everything is God, everything is source. And in the same way, what we can begin to realize is that this protection mechanism, this avatar ego just wants to protect itself. And if it thinks it needs attention in order to feel worthy and validate, it will do whatever it can to get it. And then you have things where people put themselves on a pedestal, they become more important than they actually are, and then they get slapped because of it. David Dobrik, Logan Paul, same thing. And they learn from it, hopefully. So attention seeking is a drug. Now, on the other side of this, some people are afraid of attention seeking or afraid of attention at all because the attention represents to them something negative. Now, in a way, I remember my brother, I remember growing up, I would actually get attention for certain things from even like in high school, I'd get attention from, from like girls I was flirting with and stuff like that. I remember that I could feel the jealousy from my brother at certain points. And I know that too, because at one point he was like telling chicks I was talking to like things that would make me look like a douchebag or make me, he told one of them, "Oh, he really likes you," or something like that. Like he said that 'cause I think he was trying to mitigate them liking me or something like that. But also, yeah, there's kind of like a competitive edge to your, I love my brother, but there's like this competitive edge that we kind of had growing up. But on my side, I didn't in a way wanna shine too bright. I know even after I become successful, I'd have family come to my house to, you know, and I have in Vegas the house I'm getting ready to move out of, but there's a house in Vegas that's just gigantic. It's a big house. I'm not trying to brag or anything, I'm just saying. And I remember the first time I had family come over, especially a part of my family that maybe doesn't make as much or isn't used to that kind of abundance. There was like a level of guilt and I didn't wanna shine too bright and I didn't wanna reflect things back to my brother. And it's almost like I was afraid of shining. I was afraid of shining my light. Or even when I first started going on YouTube, I started doing what I love. I remember even the house before that house, it wasn't a crazy house, but I remember he came over and I was like trying to like pretend like I had roommates because I didn't want him to know how successful I, that I had this like 4-bedroom house that like with a pool and I was doing it all by myself back when I was like, you know, probably second year on YouTube. I was not ashamed of it, but I didn't want the attention on me and I didn't want to make him feel small. Many of us, we may be afraid of attention because we're afraid that we're gonna make other people feel small. We're afraid of shining our light. So on both sides of the coin, we've got the shadow of not being ourselves and inhibiting ourselves from just being our true natural selves by caring too much what people think. And then on the other side of this, we have the, trying to get attention and significance because we really care what people think. Who, when you were a kid, did you have to look to for attention and approval? Was it your parents? Most likely. And my guess is that by looking to them for approval, that carried on to now caring what a lot of other people think. How do you heal this? You pay more attention to how you feel about you. And you realize, in a way, this is just a dream of reality. We're all divine spiritual beings dreaming that this is who we are. There really is no self. The self is this illusion. Self-esteem is an illusion. If you can more so go with the flow and let go of outcome, you can then be yourself more unapologetically, but also realize the middle way, the middle way, it is not needing significance and validation. You give yourself that significance and validation. Who's the self you give it to though? That's where we get kind of trippy. But it's feeling into the moment. And then on the other side of that, not being afraid of deflecting attention because you're afraid of shining too bright. You're afraid that then you'll become a threat. Then you'll get all this attention maybe you don't want. It's the middle way, expressing yourself, being authentic, and realizing that when it comes to this whole process of attention seeking, it's rooted in a childhood wound of wanting attention and validation. But you can give that attention and validation to yourself. You can love yourself. It's a trippy thing. I'm figuring this out as we go too, because loving the self, who is the self that's gonna love? There is no self. We are all divine spiritual beings. Self-love is in a way a form of self-narcissism, maybe a healthy form of self-narcissism. Self-esteem is healthy self-narcissism, because it's like building up the self, which is the ego. Interesting thing, I'll, as I go through learning about this process, I'll let you guys know more about what I learned through it. But in general, realize that this process is about being, this process about being authentic, being you, being unapologetic, feeling what comes inside of your body. If you feel a need for the attention, it's going back to the trauma when you were a kid and realizing, you don't really need it. You could be present and you could feel this, the self-validation. You can validate yourself, but it's so confusing 'cause the self is an illusion. So I got some more research to do. I'm gonna get back on another video with you guys, okay? I will learn more about this. Now, also there's a video I did recently on the shadow of having siblings, which is also a lot of times connected to the attention. You could check that out by clicking the link below. It's a, it's not a meditation, it's a video on the shadow of having siblings. Check that out. Also, there's a meditation for raising your dominant vibration permanently. It's one of the most powerful meditations on the channel. Click it below, listen to it for 21 days. Let's all commit to this meditation. Comment, I'm in, if you're in. We'll do it together. It grows the group dynamic and I'm excited for that. So with that being said, I hope you enjoyed this video and as always, peace, much love, and namaste.