If you try to Control or Force things to happen WATCH THIS

Think of it like a river. If you have this river and down it, it just goes down, there's these beautiful trees on the side, it's moving fairly quickly, there's a flow going to it. And imagine that you're on a raft going down this river. Now imagine that what you could do is one of two things. On one hand, you could trust the flow of the river. You could allow the river to carry you easily to where you need to go, which is going to be exactly where you need to be when you need to be there. That's the first option. The second option is what you do is you have a paddle and you're desperately trying to paddle it upstream. Maybe what you're doing is you're trying to grab onto different branches and different things that are around. You're kicking, you're screaming, you're being— and having a lot of resistance. Which is a more pleasant ride and which one will actually get you where you need to be easier? This is the idea behind understanding that of control. Anytime we are trying to control anything in our life, we are not trusting that flow of the river. And what ends up happening is we create resistance that says, I don't trust. This is both trust in ourself. This is also trust in the universe. And if we were to trust, I know that sounds kind of esoteric, but if we were to trust the universe more, we'd realize that everything happens at the right place at the right time. Now for me in my own life, I am somebody that is overcoming or in a way let go a lot of my need to control things, to control the outcome of things, to control the way things go down. And let me tell you from experience, the more I try to control or force things, the more resistant I feel and normally the less good it turns out anyways. That's the funny thing. It turns out when, when I trust the universe, when I trust myself, when I'm in that flow, everything happens easier. I can't tell you how many times there'd be like something with like a, for example, when I first got on YouTube and I started doing like online learning that like make a website and like pages and stuff like that. There were times I'd be trying to learn how to do something and if I couldn't figure it out right away, the controlling mentality is like, I'm going to figure this out right now. I'm not going to go eat lunch. I'm not going to go do anything until I figure this out. And then what happens is I'm doing that with resistance and it ends up that Eventually I'm like, you know what, I just need to take a break. And then I go take a break, I finally give in, right? I stop trying to control the outcome. And then right when I walk away, I then come back like 30 minutes later relaxed and it's like I figure it out almost immediately. I can't tell you how many times things like that happened. Now why is that? It's because I let go of control. I let go of the mentality, the ego trying to make things happen. And when I look at this as well, It's also something that I think was ingrained into me from my childhood. I think if you're listening to this right now and you feel like you're controlling or forcing things, see how this resonates with you. At least this is in my experience in my life. I think that there's masculine and feminine polarity in all of us. We have masculine qualities, we have feminine qualities, whether we are a male or a female. And what happens is the feminine quality of us is all about allowing, trusting, going with the flow. And what may have happened in the past is maybe we weren't able to express or trust the feminine side of our life, the feminine part of ourselves, and therefore we overcompensate with the masculine. But it's not just the masculine, it's normally unhealthy masculine that's trying to force and desperately trying to make things happen. And I realize that it's a feminine quality in myself that in a way I need to fill up my own cup with. I need to learn to trust my own feminine side more. And many of you may know my story, but I've been realizing this recently just about my perspective and my belief about women in general. So many of you know, but from 7 to 16 years old, I had my ex-stepmom in my life who was mentally, emotionally, physically abusive. And at 16 years old, my dad divorced her. My brother and I were free. But before that, we had almost no freedom. It was like having an army general as an ex-stepmom. It's also somebody that I'd consider to be a narcissist. And many people would, if you knew or could see that, you know, knew truly who she was. And what happened is I developed a belief about feminine energy because during that time, my ex-stepmom brainwashed my brother and I from not wanting to and not able to see our real mom. If we went to our real mom's house and we came back, we'd get punished, we'd get in trouble. And then eventually we were like conditioned out of even ever wanting to go to our mom's house. So from 7 to 16, I didn't have a relationship with our real mom. So the only representation of feminine energy wasn't really feminine energy, it was masculine energy. And I developed this negative belief that has almost put a shell around me even when I'm with women like now in my life, I've had to learn how to let go and to be more vulnerable and to let go of like a guard up, like trying to protect myself. 'Cause at a certain point in my life, I had to like put this guard armor around me to protect myself from feminine energy because, oh, you know, it's gonna try to control me. So I don't want it to control me. So maybe if I control things in my life, then I will have the control because I didn't have control early on in life. And I can see how my belief about feminine energy has affected my own relationships, whether I'm able to get intimate with feminine. And I found that what I had to do is I had to reframe that. I had to look at that differently. I had to heal and feel what came up from the past. But also I'm realizing that it's not just this whole idea of me dating. This also goes even deeper. This goes into my control, my flow of life. Do I allow, do I trust things to happen? I will say as well that a lot of times I have a very masculine perspective where I want to like accomplish things very quickly and I almost have zero patience. I'm not kidding you. Like, for example, a couple, like 5, 4 months ago, I was like, okay, I wanna grow out my hair. I was like, okay, you know, now it's starting to get a little bit longer now, but I was like, I wanna grow out my hair. And I looked online and I was like, how long is this gonna take? I was like, man, it's gonna take like a year for me to grow it out to where I want. So then I literally watched YouTube videos for like weeks on how do you grow your hair faster. YouTube videos, oh, you could do this, you could do this, you could do this, you could use this Jamaican castor oil, you could do this, you could do that. I was like reading all this stuff 'cause I was like, I wanna grow my hair faster. And then another thing is I went into a phase, okay, so that's one story, right? Here's another one, another example. Then what I wanted to do is I wanted to eventually like 2, 3 months ago, I was like, okay, I want to go into a bulking phase where I want to gain weight. So I was eating more calories than I was, uh, like burning in a day. And I was focused on getting bigger and I did get a little bigger, but I also got a little bit fatter as well. I definitely have some, um, I got a little chunky in my midsection. And then after like 3 months, I'm like, what am I doing? I want to, I want to be more lean now. So instead of trying to do this the healthy way where I like go back down, like I just lessen my calories a little bit. I'm so impatient that I wanted to get the results in like 3 weeks. I was literally watching YouTube videos like, how can I do this in 3 weeks? And basically it's a very unhealthy way. It's like crash dieting. It's not healthy at all. If anything, it'd be more harmful because then as I decrease my calories by a whole bunch so that I lose weight, my body adapts to that calorie range and then it's like I have to eat less and less food. So I'm always starving myself. For 4 days last week, I like didn't eat any carbs at all and I was like, doing this thing and I was losing weight, but I could just feel it was unhealthy. And that led me to thinking about control in my life and really going, why do I have to control so much? Why can't I enjoy the present moment? Why am I always trying to escape to get somewhere else? Is that my trying to manipulate reality from the ego's perspective? Is there a part of me that could just allow things to happen and stop trying to control? The desire to control is a belief in a lack of trust. So if we were to trust our life, to trust the universe and just allow things to happen, we wouldn't have to control everything. And think about this as well. This is analogy that I learned the other day. When you look at the dynamics of a narcissist who's like all about me, me, me, me, me, or a people pleaser who's all about you, you, you, you, you, like, but the people pleaser really is more about me. right? So the people pleaser wants to make other people happy because when other people are happy, then the people pleaser will feel validated. So really the people pleaser is about me, is about I. But here's the funny thing about this is a pattern that I realize that kind of, that relates to control because both the people pleaser and the narcissist are trying to control their life. The narcissist is trying to control someone else with dominance in order to get what they want. What does the narcissist want? Validation, power. In the same way, what does the people pleaser want? The people pleaser wants the same thing as the narcissist. It's just that how they go about these things are very different. The way the people pleaser goes about it, it goes, oh, I'm gonna add value to you. They both have a low sense of self-worth. And what both are doing is trying to manipulate the other one in order to get what they want. The people pleaser's like, hey, if I add value to you, if I do this to you, if I do this for you, then you're gonna love me and I'll get that rush of oxytocin. And the narcissist just wants to control to get the power and to get the validation and to get the attention. That's really what narcissists want, they want attention. So it is, once again, I believe, is a wounded feminine energy. It is a wounded feminine energy on the inside. And because there isn't that flow, that trust, that allowing, then what happens is it gets the unhealthy masculine on the inside. It's like, I need to control, I need to manipulate. And the way the people pleaser manipulating, they want manipulating. I think it actually, mani, I think like if you break down the word, it means to do with hands. It's like control, control. So imagine that what both of these sides of the coin, these are just, why do they attract each other? 'Cause they're so similar. You say, no, they're polar opposite. They both want the same thing. They want validation. It's just that how they go about it is differently and that's what clings them together. So control and forcing is a direct reflection of not trusting. And the way that you learn to trust more is you start to look and you start to break down your beliefs that you can't trust. So you look at situations in your past. For me, I look at times in my past when I couldn't trust any of maybe parent figures, times that things happened and I didn't feel safe. And you'll find that most of the time, most of the people that have control or try to force things, at a certain point in their past, something happened And in that moment, there was a choice that was made that's like, I have to protect myself. I need to control things. I need to manipulate reality to have it work for me, which is I don't trust the universe. I don't trust reality. I don't trust the natural flow of things. I don't trust my own feminine energy. That's what that means. But what we can begin to do is begin to break down and look at that past experience of that things that happened. What experience from my past had me not trust the feminine energy in my life? For me, it was my ex-stepmom. Many repeated events of like, you know, pain around the feminine energy and then me closing that down on myself and then me not feeling a high sense of self-worth. So what I would try to do is I would try to seek that in other people. And what I had to learn how to do is I had to look, had to learn to turn it within. That's really honestly the cure to everything is self-love. If you learn to love yourself, you learn to feel whole and complete already. You don't have to manipulate or control anything. You don't have to get anything from anyone else because you are a self-sustaining, person, and soul. So it's only in these past reference experience where we decided that you had— that we had to be a different way and that we had to control reality where we began to experience that pain and we started going down the river and forcing things to happen. So how do you start trust? You just— you get on the raft and you just trust that you are going in the right direction. Doesn't mean you can't still have boundaries. Doesn't mean you can't say no when you need to. Doesn't mean any of that. It just means you start to trust the general flow of your life and that you start to, instead of react, which is controlling normally is, it's a reaction instead of allowing. And you could get on that raft and allow it. So go back to the earliest childhood memories you have of feminine energy or masculine energy. Begin to look at it and begin to see that it was just one experience of the past. Feel what emotions come up. When you feel it, you heal it. And then what you do is you can start to change the meaning you gave to that past What did you learn from it in a positive way? And as you look to this past experience and you change the meaning, it then changes your reality now. That's a quantum effect there. This, all this ex-stepmom stuff, the only reason I share it a lot is 'cause I think it's relatable for people and it gives people more of something that they can understand and to see that I've been through this so I understand it. But when I look at it, it doesn't emotionally trigger me the same way. Than it did when I was like 19, 20, 21 years old. So you don't have to manipulate or control reality. All you need to do is allow, to trust your own feminine energy, to be more in flow, to be more allowing. And as you are in that mind state, as you are in that vibe, guess what? Things will happen easy for you. You'll find that reality is a direct reflection of the story you tell yourself about it. If you tell yourself the story you have to control everything, then you will. But you can let go right now. And as you let go, I promise everything changes. I do have a meditation that will help you to 100— to complete the past, feel 100% worthy, whole, and complete, which is the whole purpose of this video. It is— will help you heal more than anything else. Meditation is so powerful. That meditation for feeling 100% worthy, whole, and complete, and completing the past, is right below. Listen to it for 21 days. Watch what happens. And if you haven't already, you can also go to whatsmyvibration.com. What that is is that will show you your vibration, show you how to get to the next level of consciousness and give you a meditation for helping you do that. So whatsmyvibration.com, check that out there. And other than that, I'll talk to you guys later. Peace, much love, and namaste.