if you're afraid to shine WATCH THIS

People who are afraid to shine are afraid of their own power. People who are afraid of shining are afraid of outshining other people. They're afraid of their true power that exists inside of them. And ultimately, they also believe that to really shine means to really be seen, and to really be seen may be the thing that people actually resist. Now, it's interesting because to be seen many times is the thing that many people will actually crave. People may have not felt growing up that they were actually seen for their true power. They weren't actually seen for the gifts and the ability to connect or the ability to express some unique talent. And because of that, there may be some form of holding back or suppression of that true power. And until you learn how to tap into your true power and actually expressing it out into the world, you may find yourself playing small. You may find yourself avoiding the limelight because you feel like it's bad. And you may continue to stay in familiar, familial childhood patterns of the past. Now, for as early as I can remember, I myself have had to shift through this because there was a long period of time where I felt afraid to shine. As early as I could remember, if there was a birthday party for me, there was something that felt very uncomfortable about being the center of attention. I remember being at parties being with other friends, even in high school, and or even earlier than that, I remember if there were people that were saying, "Happy birthday to you," I would feel with all these people looking at me so uncomfortable, almost like I was itching out of my own skin. And it was most of my, I think most even into my early, late teens, early 20s, I never really enjoyed celebrating birthdays. And there are some people that you see that have the opposite where they have a whole entire birthday week or a birthday month and they love if people just gather around and say happy birthday. They're like, yes, yes. That's because that's the opposite side of that energy. However, So often I've been able to see, and we're gonna look at the shadow side of this. I wanna share with you the shadow side of not being afraid to shine and where it comes from and how you can completely transform it from the inside out so that you actually start to show up in a very powerful way. Because ultimately being afraid to shine is hiding your light and it is also robbing other people from knowing the real you. It is robbing other people from actually having the gift or the pleasure of being able to interact with the most empowered version of you. I know that if I was still afraid to shine and I wasn't making YouTube videos, there's a lot of people that wouldn't have even known or have maybe resonated with certain messages that I've put out in the world. So this is something I had to look out at, but it did hold me back for a very long time because there was a part of me that was afraid that I was gonna get into trouble if I did it, subconsciously. So one thing I notice a lot about people that are afraid to shine is that sometimes being afraid to shine means or can stem from having siblings growing up. Imagine you're one of like 3 or 4 kids and imagine that those other siblings that you have, imagine you feel afraid of taking too much of the limelight. Or imagine that as kids, to actually get attention was a bad thing. When I was a kid, between my brother and I, we had that of the kind of the controlling environment with the ex-stepmom situation. But we were very much controlled where we weren't allowed to have friends, we had to earn going to school activities, normally locked outside doing yard work. And anytime there was attention on us, that was bad. And also we were told growing up that children are meant to be seen and not heard. And that's a common saying that sometimes growing up, old school mentality, but like children are meant to be seen but not heard. So think about that. So when it comes to shining and expressing the real you, there's an ultimate, some type of suppression there that said, you're not supposed to be talking, be quiet, your voice doesn't matter. Now, growing up, there was always this dynamic as well with my siblings. And I have some friends as well, I wanna share kind of their dynamic as well of growing up because it, I think it beautifully illustrates this. And then where the healing is, is very powerful. So growing up between my brother and I, I'm the oldest. I have a younger brother that's 3 years younger than I have other siblings as well. However, one time I became aware of this in meditation one time of just how much this affected me 'cause I never really thought of it until actually recently, even when I was talking to my dad about this. My brother was born when I was 2, 2 and a half years old. And when he was born, he was, he had this health condition where he had asthma and he had other health issues where he had to get steroids and stuff like that. And my mom would take him to the hospital often. He was often sick, often going to the hospital. But when I was 2 and a half, 3 years old, in a meditation was able to very clearly see that there was a part of myself that felt like the attention shifted from me to my brother. And it went to my brother in the sense that yes, he had things going on, but also from what my dad says at least, my mom also, it was almost like this attention thing where it's like bringing him to the hospital was like this almost adrenaline drama rush in a way. So from very early on in life, my brother, he got a lot of attention because he was sick and because he was, there was a certain type of energy dynamic with my mom and him being sick with a certain type of like drama energy. And my brother was in and out of the hospital, my dad said, for the first 4 or 5 years of his life until the divorce happened, I was 5, and then he didn't go to the hospital anymore. Maybe it was because there was that, not the energy of the drama around it that was, in a way, keeping it alive. But nonetheless, it was always very easy for my brother to receive attention, and he got a lot of it when he was growing up. But what happened is as we were growing up, I remember asking my mom, I was like, "Mom, how was I as a baby?" Or as not even a baby, but as growing up, like how was my temperament when I was like 3, 5, 7 years old? She's like, "You were always very quiet. You always like kind of looking around," Very mindful, very intuitive, very quiet. I thought that was interesting. But then also what she said is, or not what she said, but when I was growing up with my brother and being 3 to 5 years old, I remember that as I was growing up, I felt like I didn't want my brother to feel insignificant or I didn't want my brother to feel jealous if I did start to get the attention. So what I would do is I would kind of always modify so he got more of the attention 'cause it felt uncomfortable for me. This is up until, so this is up until the controlling part 'cause up until about 5, that didn't happen till I was 7 years old. But even before that, until I was 5 or 6 years old, there was a part of me that never wanted him to feel insignificant or like, I was taking the energy because I could feel that there was like a, some maybe some type of jealous dynamic. I'm not sure. It was like a subconscious thing when I was young. However, even growing up into teenager, there was the same similar dynamic where there was a feeling that I felt like he almost needed it or wanted that kind of attention. So there was a part of me that would always kind of like, kind of be off to the side, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable. And there was kind of like a, it was interesting. There was sometimes it felt like there was like a competition between us 'cause we're brothers, 3 years apart. I feel like I wasn't as competitive, but maybe in some ways there was competition there in some ways, but I feel like there was always a desire that I had to just kind of like not cause the problems for him, almost like I was kind of responsible for his emotions and how he felt. You fast forward to this, in 2017, I start growing my YouTube channel. I start to become successful. I eventually, I go from living at my dad's house to living in a, like with roommates, but then like 3 months later, it didn't really work out 'cause I wanted my own place. I had the money to get my own place. So I get my own place and I'm living by the airport in Las Vegas, but in this nice house. I buy furniture for the house. It's the first time I'm really on my own. There's Thanksgiving or Christmas, my mom and my brother flies into town and some other of my siblings, and he comes over and they see my house. And for some reason, I felt guilty. Having a nice house, I felt like I didn't want my brother to feel small because I was living in a nice house with furniture. So what did I do? I go into every room and I close the door and I only leave one door open. And when my brother comes over, he goes, "Whoa." He's like, "Do you live here? Like, this is your house or do you have like roommates?" And he's like, "And this is all your furniture?" And I said, "No, I have roommates." I said I had roommates because I didn't want him to feel small or insignificant or jealous in any way. So I played it off and I literally said, "I have roommates," when it wasn't true. I had no roommates. I had created that, you know, the success from, you know, like putting out lots of videos and created the abundance to like have my own house. However, I was afraid of even expressing that to him. So what happened was he came for that holiday and then like a year or two later, I moved out of that house and into an even kind of more bougie house, you could say. And in this bougie house, there was no way to really lie and be like, oh, I have roommates that live here. So they come over then And by then I'd already worked through this and I started looking at this and I started seeing, wait, there's a part of myself that feels like I must protect my brother and his emotions. And that part of myself is the unconscious part of myself that just feels responsible for other people's energies and emotions. So once I started to become aware of this, I started to let it go. I started to let myself feel and realize, wait, that's not my stuff to manage. So what I did is the next time he came over, it was like 6 to 8 months or a year later when he was back in town, they come over to my house and I have this much bigger, very nice house. And I remember him coming in and I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna own it. So he came in and I'm like, look how nice this house is. I was like, look at the chandelier. I'm just kidding, I didn't say any of that. He just came into the house though and he's like, oh, is this, kind of the same thing, oh, is this your house? I was like, yeah, that's it. I was like, yeah, it is. It's just, it's a house. I didn't downplay it, but I was like, yeah, this is my house. There's Topo Chico in the fridge if you want it. I just owned it and I wasn't shameful of it. I wasn't trying to hide it. I wasn't also being grandiose about it. I'm like, look at this thing over here. This is a nice chandelier. Do you know you have to push a button so the chandelier comes down so people can clean it? Did you know that? I don't clean it myself. I probably hire someone to clean it. "But I don't say." Don't say any of that. Why? Because I'm so humble. But really why is, I just don't, you don't need to justify yourself to other people. Now, simply becoming aware of the pattern is a very powerful way to stop living in the pattern because it's a pattern that comes with trying to protect someone else's emotions with the belief that someone else's emotions are your responsibility? What if instead by me being just myself, be like, oh, this is my house, whatever, what if that could actually inspire him to see what's possible for himself? Even getting on YouTube back in the day, I was afraid of putting out content, afraid to shine, afraid of, afraid of, Being able to really even receive compliments. I know even when I was first, this is a realization I had recently, I'll share this with you too. This is a kind of a very powerful insight I had actually when I was in Costa Rica recently drinking plant medicine, ayahuasca. There was this moment that I had in between that of, you know, it's interesting, I'm making a video right now and I'm on this big street and there's people walking by. And as I'm making it, there's some people looking in And it's funny how different the energy is when you're not attached to what other people think of you. You know, someone looked in and it's funny 'cause we always think everyone else is always thinking of us, but everyone is always thinking of themselves anyways for the most part. So it's like we have this false belief that other people are thinking of me when in fact they're thinking of themselves. And if we identify with them thinking, about you, they're thinking of what you represent to them. So if I was afraid of my brother seeing me live in a nice house, I'd be, "Oh, something wrong with me. I'm selfish. I have a nice house. I shouldn't." No, maybe it reflects back something to him and that's his stuff to deal with if it does reflect back something. Now, something else that is another part of this element that I wanna share when it comes to being able to receive comes to be able to put yourself out there is understanding that what we may be avoiding is some form of shame, some form of belief of we're not good enough, but on the other side of it, we might be avoiding actually being seen because being seen feels very uncomfortable. For example, one of my great friends is my— best friend's wife, her name is Patty, and she's an amazing singer, musician. She like got the guitar like a year and a half ago and she can play incredible. She's like a super quick learner, but she's been able to sing most of her life. When she met my best friend Victor 15, 20 years ago, they were together for years. And then one day he overhears her singing And she has this beautiful voice. And my friend Victor literally got mad at her. He got mad. He was pissed. He's like, you've been able to sing for 3 or 4 years. You've been able to sing for a long time, but for 3 or 4 years we've been together and I had no idea you were able to sing like that. That's not cool. Literally was like almost offended that she'd have this beautiful gift, this beautiful thing that she's able to do, but he had no idea of it. She was in a way subconsciously robbing him from her own brilliance. So what happens is she was like, you know, then she started becoming more comfortable with singing with him and around him. And then what happened is I remember asking her about this 'cause I'm like with my friends, I like to like find out kind of where the core of certain things was. And what she told me was in her family, she is one of many siblings in her family and she has that of some in her family, what runs in her family a little bit is a little bit of like overweight, people being overweight. And she was always the more skinny one. So there's a whole bunch of kids She's the youngest of all these kids. And she remembered that she had an older sister, or she remembered she had an older sister. She had an older sister that was a little bit older than her. And she remembers one time she was with her sister and somebody said something about how pretty she was, about pretty, how pretty Patty was. And in that moment, she felt so uncomfortable because she felt like she was almost guilty for being pretty. And she didn't wanna outshine her sister, so she felt bad about that. She felt literally guilty for being called pretty or being called like, because she was also like the thinner one in her family. So in a moment, similar thing where she felt, I don't wanna shine, I don't want one of my siblings to feel uncomfortable, I better hold back. And I think she also said at one point she was getting a lot of praise for her singing and she felt very uncomfortable because there were other people in her family that were also in choir. So it was a similar thing, something I don't want to take on, I don't wanna feel, I feel uncomfortable because I'm empathic, I can feel other people's energies. And that then becomes this energy dynamic of wanting to hold that energy back. Now, when I was talking about the ayahuasca stuff, so this last time I was in ayahuasca, in ceremony in Costa Rica, I was sitting next to Patty. And Patty at certain points will sing because she works with the shaman in a certain way. You know, we bring in shaman that have been doing it for 20 years. It's retreats where we have like 30 people that come in. And by the way, there is a women's retreat coming up very soon where Victor and I will not be— well, we're gonna come to drink 1 or 2 of the nights, but it's ran actually by Patty. But if you wanna check that out, I'll go ahead and link below to the women's retreat. We'll only do it It's the only women's retreat that we're doing this year and it's coming up in July. So if you wanna check that out, you have to get on the phone, it's a whole application process, but you can learn more at the page below. So in general, at this ceremony, it's 3 nights of ayahuasca, this like the first or second night, the first night actually, Patty goes to, she sings basically at a certain moment and it was a beautiful song. It was so good. And I remember that I was kind of like on the medicine, but I remember turning over to her in between, right before the second cup was coming up. And I just said, "Hey Patty, I just want you to know that that song, I think, or that song that you sang, I think it was amazing." And I think I said something like that, like something like you, it was an amazing song that you sang. And it was like, I was really, giving her a genuine compliment. And I remembered that as I was saying that to her, as I was saying like, I think you're like, you're— it was something like, I don't want to sound too cheesy here, but it was something like, I don't know if I said like, you're amazing, or the song was amazing. I don't remember exactly how I said it, but it was just very genuine, very much coming from my heart, because I really felt that way. It was like the way she was singing it, and just, it was just a beautiful song. And sometimes I can tell she gets in her own head or doubts her own power, but it's like incredible. And it just like sometimes with, especially with my friends, it's like I almost wanna shake it into them. It's like, you're awesome. So after she sang that song, I was like, it was like amazing or whatever I said. And she goes, oh, you know, it's the plants coming through me. Or it's like, you know, it's kind of like this. It just kind of channels through. I was like, no. "I want you to know that you did that. Like, I think you are amazing." And it was this energy where there's this moment of like, it was like in a moment of emotion, but it was also a moment of like really letting that sink in because so often, and what I noticed in her was something I do with to myself all the time. What I noticed with her is it's like, it's hard for her to take a compliment. And I was almost like, I was almost like, why can't she take this compliment I'm giving her? Because she's saying this, she just learned how to play guitar recently. And what I realized is I do the same thing a lot where when people say, Aaron, I love your videos, your videos really helped me, you're awesome, Aaron. It's not me, it's this energy coming through and I just come, I become of service for other people and it just kind of flows through me. And on one hand, I think that's true. I think we're all divine vessels of energy that's coming through, every single one of us, not me or specifically, you know, like excluding other people. But what I will say is I myself have had trouble accepting and almost giving myself credit for all the energy and all the stuff that I've done to get to where I'm at. So what I realized in her and what I saw in her was what I saw in myself. And I was like, wow, there's so often we are so slow to give ourselves praise or to give us, to really see ourselves, to really see each other. So the thing that I saw in her though was like that moment that we had, it was just in a moment of appreciation for like, I'm like, I really, I see you, I see how amazing you are. I see how amazing of a singer you are. I see how amazing you are as a person, but I want you to know that I think you are amazing. That's what I said to her. I said, I think you're, she's like, oh, the plants come through. It's like this energy coming through. And I'm like, yeah, I get all that. But I felt like that was deflecting the compliment. I was like, I think you are amazing. And it's, what I believe is that you are amazing as well. And what you have to do to be worthy is nothing. Just like a baby is worthy just 'cause it exists. We all agree that a baby is worthy for just being itself. But then growing up, the baby learns not to be its most expressive self because then it turns into a toddler and then a little kid and then it compares itself to other people and then it decides I'm going to cap on my awesomeness. And I don't mean becoming grandiose with this, becoming so attached to my awesomeness, it's like, "Yeah, I'm the coolest thing ever, look at me." I'm not going around like, "Look, I have millions of YouTube followers, you should like me, you should think I'm cool." That's the other side of the spectrum of being attached to that. And I think I've also always been afraid to be too attached to the good because I'm afraid that if I get attached to the good, I'm also gonna be attached to the bad. But there's a part where we can at least allow ourselves to shine knowing it's our responsibility, it's our gift, it's our ability to influence people in a powerful way. Like when I do live events, Patty comes in and I do these meditations where Patty then comes and sings and there's this energy that flows through that just makes people cry, makes them open up, opens people up in very powerful ways, just like breathwork, similar to breathwork. And it's so powerful, but it's like, If she were to hold that back and not sing, she wouldn't allow that energy to flow through her that then flows through other people. So being afraid to shine is being afraid of your own power. But understand you've been thinking that holding your power in is safe because it has you not being seen. But what you can start to become aware of is to be seen isn't pain. Maybe it was when you were a kid, but being seen doesn't make you selfish. Being seen is something you can begin doing to yourself, is actually seeing yourself. So what is the medicine and what is the key to this? It's giving yourself permission to shine, knowing it is your responsibility to shine. It is your responsibility to tap into that because There are people that by you being the real you and shining your light, you will attract people and inspire them to shine their light. It's almost like a candle. With one candle, you can light thousands of candles, but you're holding your candle like this. And that, before you thought it was selfish to shine because you thought that if you were to shine, you'd be taking attention, attention is bad, you'd be making other people feel small. But realize it is selfish to hold your power back from robbing people from knowing the real you. And what I'm saying is you can instead give yourself permission to express it and lean into that. And as you lean into that, you lean into your true power. And as you lean into your true power, guess what? You are more of who you came here to be. You feel more alive. You feel more in a flow state. And you're able to appreciate yourself in a very powerful way. So this is just really an old outdated childhood pattern that's been on autopilot comparing yourself to siblings or other people. And it may not even be siblings, by the way. You may, sometimes parents may be jealous. You may have had a mom and a dad and then the dad was jealous subconsciously that mom spent a lot of time with you. I've seen that happen before with friends, like talking about their childhood patterns and pasts. So it's like, "I will hold myself back. I will not express the real me because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable." So understand that a huge part of this process is being able to lean into and feel the emotions you've been avoiding feeling. And understanding that if other people, this individuation process of feeling safe inside of your body and knowing that other people's stuff is their stuff, not yours, is a huge important part of this process. Now, one thing that I also have is I'm gonna be adding in a meditation that Patty and I did into my free membership. It's a free, High Vibe Tribe is the name of it. I can't put it on YouTube because of the song, it's copywritten. If you wanna check it out, join the High Vibe Tribe. I'll go ahead and link that below. And then if you want a video from that live event to hype you up about that, there's a video, there's like a 30-minute video I did at the live event last August that talks all about more of this, of the still face experiment, all these things that will completely change your life and help you to feel safe in your own frame and being able to give yourself permission to be who you came here to be. That video is right here. So empaths, people that can feel other people's energy, this is both a superpower