If you're an Empath that Absorbs Negative Energy...this will change your life

If you consider yourself an empath or someone that can feel other people's energy, if you walk into a room and you know how other people feel about you, if you can feel other people's disappointment in you when you say no to something, then this video may change your life forever. Because what I share with you in this video will completely reframe why you have the ability to do that. It will help you understand more about how you're showing up in the world, how you're actually coming off to other people, and how you can really heal at a core level so that you stop tuning and finding yourself in the gravitational pull of everyone else. Now, being an empath, for some people, they consider this, and you'll hear videos about this, I may have even said this at certain points in the past, where at a certain point certain level, it could be a superpower to be empathic. Now, superpower, not in this egotistical superhero way where like, I'm so amazing because I have this ability. At the same time, there are some positive side effects that can come from it when it comes to certain people's professions. For example, when it comes to being able to have this powerful way of healing, helping other people heal, because as an empath, you can really feel feel what other people feel. Now, for example, someone that is doing some type of somatic healing work, if they're able to hold space with someone else and feel it, it can help other people heal. It can help people become master intuitive when it comes to how other people act and behave. I know for myself, being somebody as a kid that in a way had to tune to other people in order to survive, in order to get by, it allowed me to become very intelligent when it comes to dynamics. When it comes to how other people interact, when it comes to, it can be beneficial to understand when there is a threat. On the other side of this though, it is a core trauma. Becoming an empath and feeling other people's energy was a survival mechanism that was gained earlier on in life in order to get the needs met, in order to feel safe. Now, the curse of this is that there's a constant abandoning of the self to tune the energy to make other people happy, to get other people's validation and approval. This also can result in people feeling like they must control and manipulate their environment, many times unconsciously without even knowing it, by giving in order to get something in return. Now, the pain of this is that people feel like they're motivated by a force they don't even understand. They can't say no to their friends because— is they're saying no because when that person feels disappointment, then they feel disappointment. There's a feeling of having to always measure up to what everyone else wants them to be instead of asking themselves, what do I wanna be? What is my barometer? What values do I wanna live by? How can I stop abandoning myself? So superpower versus curse, they're both part of the trauma. And the key to this is coming into the middle. I'm not saying to just use this. The reason I say this, by the way, is I had a video go out on Instagram and it was on this. I was at a live event talking about empaths and I'm gonna share with you some insights. This is why I believe that Instagram post went viral. It's got 1.4 million views. Views as of today. It's been out for 2 or 3 days on Instagram. Definitely the most, like, uh, highest growing Instagram Reel I've ever put out. And it's all about what I'm about to share with you in this video, which is about empaths. And it's funny because when a video goes mega viral like that, like gets 1.5 million views in like 2 days, it pulls in people not only from my audience, but it pulls in people that would have normally never seen it. So I can see more polarity. I can see more comments that are positive and also more negative comments than any other piece of content because it's pulling in the most new people, ones that I can see that people really get tripped up about it is this whole superpower thing. It sounds extremely egotistical to say it's a superpower. At the same time, people are an empath. There's a lot of times where there's this mentality of there's something wrong with me, there's some level of shame. So reframing the meaning, not in some other egotistical way where we're like, oh my God, I'm so special, more so looking at it from a place of every successful person also, it can be bred out of the trauma from earlier on in childhood of not feeling good enough. And what happens is that shame, that belief of I'm not good enough, may propel people to take action to in a way add value out into the world or to help other people or to make a difference. Sometimes from the energy of I must prove myself, but sometimes from also an energy of I wanna add value, I wanna give, which is interesting. Even now as I'm saying this, I can see that what I'm about to talk about when you must give in order to receive, there's a lot of like give to get as an empath. In some ways that could also be a form of getting the ego needs met because if I'm going to give lots of value out into the world, then I'm going to get in exchange a good feeling about myself. So there's many layers to this, even as I, you know, I didn't plan on saying that in this video, but I can see there's many layers to this. Now, when it comes to this and that Instagram post that I made, the curse and the superpower are two sides of the coin. The key is getting into the middle. Now, one of the reasons I think that Instagram post went viral is because what it reveals is the energetic dynamic behind it. And ultimately, it's just the simple idea of understanding that when we were kids, if we did not feel safe, if we had to measure up to a certain energy or mom or dad we had to tune to and then change or morph ourselves in order to be what they wanted us to be, then what ends up happening is we move out of the bottom 3 chakras. We have this chakra system, energy vortexes, energy wheels, nadis, many names for this, been around for thousands of years, these energy centers. We have that of the bottom 3 chakras. We have the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the solar plexus, all underneath the heart. Then we have the heart, the throat, the third eye, and the crown. Now what happens is as empaths, what empaths do is in childhood it didn't feel safe. Maybe there was a lot of tension in childhood. Maybe your mom or dad weren't emotionally or physically present. Maybe we felt criticized as a kid. What happens is we make a choice about ourselves where it doesn't feel safe. Our needs aren't being met. So what we do is we move out of the ungrounded energies of the root, sacral, and solar plexus, and we move up into the third eye intuitive center so that we can perceive and tune to mom and dad to then see how must I be different? How must I be different so that mom and dad feel safe? Mom and dad then approve of me so then I can relax my nervous system. So what happens is they move out into the third eye, they're super intuitive. This is when you may see some spiritual people that are super flighty, maybe not very grounded. It's a common trait of people that are empathic. Because they're so intuitive to get their needs met. Now, what ends up happening though is then there's not having the groundedness in the bottom 3 chakras means there's not a groundedness in self. There's not a groundedness inside their own body. This is when people feel like a leaf in the wind. This is when people are tuning to their boss, tuning to their family members, their partner, their friends, and then constantly asking themselves the questions, who do I need to be for this other person so that I can relax my nervous system. And what ends up happening with that is there's a feeling of constantly abandoning the self. I must abandon myself for other, because if I can get other people to relax and to be the way I want them to be, then I can relax. But as you could probably tell, this is an energy of manipulation. This is an energy of trying to change and modify the self for other people to then get back something in exchange. And a lot of times this is a covert of controlling the environment in a very manipulative way. Now, it's important that I say this because I know some people listening to this like, Aaron, you said it was a superpower. You said it was just this awesome thing. Well, first off, I also talked about the curse side of it, but also I know that people that are empathic that can feel energy, they probably don't wanna feel the tension inside of themselves that is created when you have to look at, to see, to recognize this is a trauma that must be integrated. The key to this video is integrating that past experience Feeling it to heal it and allowing yourself to get back to your center of frame so that you can stop living from that pattern. 'Cause wouldn't it be nice for you to feel safe in your own body? Wouldn't it be nice for you not to have to tune to everyone else to know who you need to be? Wouldn't it be nice to be who you really are? Wouldn't it be nice to set boundaries more easily? That's what's possible for you. And in this video, that's exactly what I'm gonna show you how to do. But I kind of like had to get you in with like, oh, it's a superpower, it's this cool thing now. We need to recognize that it was still a survival mechanism that was based on a form of trauma, on a way of getting your needs met. Now you can feel when someone needs something from you, just to understand how this energy comes off to other people, just to understand the energy dynamics, let me share a couple quick little things. For example, I used to work a sales job selling women's shoes. If I went into work and I'm wearing a suit and I'm greeting people who are trying on shoes and I'd say, "Hey, how are you?" Even just look at the tonality of that. "Hey, how are you?" I want you to, to say hi to me. Are you gonna buy shoes? I want you to buy shoes 'cause then it makes my paycheck better. You can feel there's an energy that's tuning to someone else. It's an energy that's going out of the body and into someone else. Hey, that person normally intuitively subconsciously can feel this person wants something from me. You probably felt that. You go around to certain salespeople or something, they want the sale. They want something from you. You can feel it. And when you feel it, what do you do? You don't, I'm good. I'll let you know if I need help. I'm good. I do not want that energy you're trying to take from me because it is a taking energy. And in a way it's saying, I want this and then I'll feel safe. If I get your validation approval, you to buy a shoe, I feel safe. Make my day good. On the other side of this, if I went into work and my intention was to have fun and to connect to other people, to express my personality, to express my sense of humor. And my intention was first to add value and have fun over what I could get from them. It was a very different energy. Then I'm from the inside out. I'm feeling in my own body. I'm feeling safe. I'm having fun. I'm not attached to outcome. It feels very different. I was at a comedy club in LA recently. It was like 2 or 3 hours of different comedians going up there and doing 20-minute sets. And it was interesting, the difference in the energy of different comedians. There was one guy that went up there that was so in his own frame, and he was very vulnerable and honest. He's like, I just got done doing a special on Netflix or something like that. I have no new material, but I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm just going to test out some stuff and see if it works. That's why a lot of these comedians go to certain comedy shows and perform because they're testing out material. And this guy was freaking hilarious. He had all these funny bits. He was like this, the way he expressed himself was so free. If a joke didn't land, he was like, he was like, "Oh, obviously that didn't land. Don't give me pity laughs." Like, it was just, he was so unattached to outcome and so in his own frame, and he was freaking hilarious. There was this other guy later on in the show towards the end when it was kind of dragging a little bit that came on, and the dude was obviously drunk, and he was really sloppy, and he kept saying like, "Why'd you laugh so hard for everyone else and not for me? You guys don't like me. It's because of this or it's because of that." And he just kept saying things like that, and you could just tell it was an energy that was that was neat. It wanted something from the crowd and the crowd could feel it. And it literally felt like, dude, when is this guy going to be done? And also a lot of times when people drink, a lot of times they're in there, or like it can be when people get too drunk or they start drinking. You ever had that friend that gets drunk and just never stops talking? It's almost like they can, they're like feeding on your energy and your attention. And it's that energy that's like pulling in that energy from you. Now, the reason I'm sharing this is you can feel the energetic difference and the energy is in the level of presence between the two different scenarios for each example, whether I'm at my job and I'm being playful or being like wanting something, or the comedy show, the person that's in their frame, vulnerable, expressive, having fun versus the person that's like demanding more outta the audience because they're not giving him enough applause and approval. Now let's look at the energetic difference between these two examples and then we'll talk about how to actually heal it. So first off, imagine this is the stick figure, 'cause it is a stick figure, and imagine the bottom 3 chakras, it's constantly going out to then get, it's going out to then get. And what happens is it's tuning to the outside and then modifying the inside to change so that it can regulate its nervous system. It's avoiding feeling the inner tension. It's avoiding feeling the tension and the fear around abandonment. Because abandonment, rejection is like death to someone with an abandonment wound. So they'll avoid rejection at all costs by changing themselves so that they don't get rejected. Now, the other side of this is the key and the cure is to actually bring the energy more on the inside, bring the energy into the bottom 3 chakras and then feel it to heal it. And when you tune to your body and you're tuned inside of your body, it is incredible how different your energy becomes because you are coming at it from a different level of gravity. Imagine wherever you put the attention is where you put the gravity of the energy. If you put the attention on someone else and what they're doing and what you want them to do, and uh, uh, you're throwing the gravity outside of yourself and then it repels and they can feel that because you're literally invading their energetic space. But imagine you put the awareness inside of your body and you're feeling inside of your body. There's then magnetic energy inside of yourself and people can feel that. And here's the thing, even if people don't agree with something you do, they respect it if it's coming from your center of frame. I remember on my journey of healing, being an empath, and really starting to tune to myself, or if somebody asked me if I wanted to go out and I didn't want to go out or come to some dinner party or something, before I had to come up with some excuse or I'd feel guilty. Instead, I just would say no, not like a dick or anything, just like, no, I don't want to go. And I pay attention to how I would ask myself and tune to my body to say, do I even want to go? Or am I going because I don't want to let this person down? And then as I started to act from that perspective, it could sometimes feel tension. I could feel the other person maybe didn't like that answer, but I would hold strong with it and there'd be a different response from it eventually, but I didn't need it because I was being it 'cause it's who I am. So bringing the energy in the bottom 3 chakras and feeling what you feel, not avoiding the emotions, is the powerful first step to this whole entire process. And there's something called the frame technique if you haven't heard about it before. There's a whole YouTube video on it. I have meditations on it. I get, when I meet people in public that recognize me for my videos, often they tell me the frame technique changed their life. And it's such a simple practice of feeling the separation between you and someone else, you and a candle flame, the separation, not the connection. Empaths already feel connected because what they've done is they've expanded their energetic field to include everybody. And I must be perfect for everybody, then I can feel safe. And then instead what happens is they don't feel enough of their selves. Their individuality. And the frame technique is an extremely powerful way of transformation. Now, something we're gonna be doing, by the way, coming up soon in October is a 21-day confidence love challenge. This is all about getting in your own frame, healing codependency, 'cause a lot of times empath also comes from a codependent energy, feeling safe in your own frame, breaking the ties of having to abandon yourself for other people, becoming emotionally available, 'cause a lot of times empaths believe they're emotionally available, but they're not. And how to really be solid within yourself so that you can either attract love or abundant opportunities into your life. So it's gonna be a 21-day Confidence Love Challenge. We're going through it live, thousands of people from all over the world. If you wanna check it out, you click the link below and join, grab your spot. Now, with everything I'm talking about here today, the goal is to have a solid frame, to be solid within your own individual energy, and bringing the awareness inside of your body is the key to this. Now I've shared this story before, but back in 2017 when I first got on YouTube, I went to a life transformation place in Costa Rica and there was a teacher there that was teaching energy. She had a TED Talk and she was there talking about the energetic dynamics of the body. And she said, let's do this experiment right now. I've done this experiment at live events and I've had people get into groups to do this. And it turns out to be true. When you are with someone, what she did is she was in the front of the crowd and she said to the crowd, I want you all right now to send energy to me. So everyone in the crowd started sending her energy, just energetically thinking of her, sending her energy, sending her energy, sending her energy. She said, when that happens, you feel this repelling energy. She said, literally, it's like, it's icky, don't wanna be around it, and it pushes me back. But then she said, okay, now I want you to do something else. Pull the energy back into your body, pull the energy back into your body, pull the energy back into your body. Feel inside of yourself, feel inside of yourself, feel the separation between you and the towards the audience. So what I did is I always remembered that. This was like years ago. I don't know why, why do I always remember that so much? And there's this magnetic energy of when you're in your own frame. Originally, I got taught this by a shadow work integration coach that I had that had a double PhD in psychology, and he taught Carl Jung psychology, and he taught me this frame technique. I call it the frame technique. I made up the name. It's a Zazen principle. Basically, from doing the separation for self versus other and doing that with the candle flame, you start to feel safe inside of your own body. You start to recognize that when people do things to you, you can see what's their stuff versus what's your stuff. You start taking responsibility for what you feel. It completely changes how you show up in the world. With what I'm sharing with you right now, the most, the biggest problem has been since childhood is there was normally a lack of individuation, individuating from mom and dad. There was a feeling of an orb around all of us and I must make them happy in order to feel good enough support. There maybe wasn't support when you were a kid, towards you being an individual, you having a different perspective, you empowered to think for yourself. And what you can do through the frame technique is feel the separation between you and other people and start asking yourself, what do I think? What do I feel? How do I feel in my body? Tuning yourself inside of yourself. And as you do, you will notice that people begin to respond to you differently. When I went through my transformation of going from empath to someone with a solid frame, it was about first off recognizing the pattern. I could see where I was abandoning myself for other people. I could see where I was doing things that were inauthentic. I could see where I was trying to give to get, trying to do what other people wanted me to do so that I could get approval and validation from them. And then I started realizing that that never really made me happy. And also I was abandoning myself for others. And the inner child and part of myself is what I began connecting to. 'Cause I realized by abandoning myself, I was abandoning my own inner child. Over and over and over again. And what eventually I realized is that I had to stop doing that, abandoning myself for other people. As I started, stopped abandoning myself for other people and I started to be this new version of myself and I started to value authenticity and vulnerability over that of getting approval and validation from other people, I started being a version of me that had more gravity. And what happened is then people, there was a new way of relating to people and it meant expressing my truth even if it caused tension in other people. Setting boundaries with people that prior I'd kind of let walk all over me. And what I noticed is even though it created some tension at first, it resulted in them actually respecting me, respecting, completely reset our energy and our pattern within our relationship. And there was one or two people that completely fell outta my life. That was cool too. As you are embodying a new you, you will naturally have some people fall out. That makes room for the new people that can really respect you and your own energy because they're used to having you in a certain energy dynamic that they maybe can manipulate as well. This is why also, by the way, empaths often attract narcissists. Narcissists have a very strong frame, also built out of a toxic energy and also very manipulative. But what happens is, as an empath, they're attracted. There's almost something to learn from the narcissist, 'cause the narcissist will constantly test your boundaries. The key though is to come back into the middle of having a healthy expression of you feeling inside of your own body, feeling the separation between you and other people, understanding that as you heal your inner child and you stop abandoning your inner child, you'll start to understand who you really are and you'll stop the pattern. Really, awareness is 90% of the transformation. You become aware of when you're doing these things, when you're trying to manipulate the outside to be the way you want, you start coming at it from a place of non-attachment to outcome and presence. Everything will change in your life as a reflection. Now, there is an inner child meditation if you haven't done that yet, it's completely free. I'll go ahead and link it below or you go to aarondoughty.com/child. Do that meditation because it'll help you to develop this relationship with the inner child and it completely changes your energy from the inside out when you do so. If you want to check out the frame technique, go ahead and check out this video right here. Read the comments to see what's possible. Do it for 21 days and watch what happens.