Empaths often use toxic niceness to cope with childhood trauma, learning to prioritize others' needs over their own. Real growth means practicing assertiveness and setting boundaries, not becoming a narcissist. Expressing your emotions and imperfections doesn't make you harmful.
If you're an empath, one of the biggest shadow aspects I noticed for people to really grow is lean into being bad. As a kid, it was bad to stand up for yourself. It was bad to assert yourself. It was bad to be vulnerable. So what happens is, because it was bad to do all of those things, we associate, I will not be bad, I will be good. To be good means I will be who you need me to be so I can mitigate your emotions and that I can feel good about myself. That niceness is a toxic pattern that's rooted in trying to manipulate the environment. That stems from the childhood trauma, but also the thing that you can grow the most from. Lean into being bad. I'm not saying bad like be a narcissist, because this is the thing. What I believe is empaths, as kids, they had someone in their life that played the villain archetype. The fear is that if I express any emotion whatsoever, I'm going to turn into this bad villain. But the thing is, is the moment you express it a little bit, are you going to turn into a raging narcissist? Of course not.
