If You're An Empath, WATCH THIS To Change Your Life In 11 MINUTES!

So everything is self or other. When you're focused on other, many of us, and I think this has happened at, do any of you have or even either felt like you had or had either a parent that was physically abandoning or emotionally abandoning? Many of us. Now what happens in that phase of our life when we feel like we've been physically or emotionally abandoned is we then make a choice and a decision that there's a level of shame there. There's something wrong with me. So then what we end up doing is we end up trying to change ourself. We end up trying to change our own frame so that we can feel safe. So being an empath many times is a mechanism that we use in order to get our needs met. And our needs being met may mean that we change ourself, that we can't say no when someone else wants us to do something, that we allow certain behaviors to happen. And that's rooted in this old pattern that we're used to playing in because we haven't found or recentered ourself back into ourself in a healthy way. Narcissism is an unhealthy way of expressing the self and being a people pleaser in a way or an empath or somebody that can feel other people's energy. They lose or give away their own center of gravity in order to get their needs met. Now narcissists, what they do is they demand, they emotionally, they can emotionally manipulate. They have different tactics to get their needs met. Empaths and people pleasers have their own ways of getting their needs met. And it's kind of a hard, it was a hard thing for me to look at because I had to become aware that my inability to say no and my desire to get other people to like me and to want other people's validation and approval was a way that I was going about trying to get my needs met. So one of the things I had to realize though is that what I was trying to do in those moments is I was trying to get other people's approval and validation because I didn't get the approval and validation from my parents growing up. And the reason I wanted that to really sink in because it's a realization that sometimes these energy patterns we have is we're trying to find ourself in others. We've literally taken on other people's emotions, other people's actions, other people's ways of being, and we've internalized it. We haven't found the difference between who am I and who are they. And that's why when it comes to boundaries, an important mantra to remember is, that's your shit, not mine. Because as an empath, you don't know what the difference is. Your friends, you wanna hang out and you don't wanna hang out, you don't have time for it, you can't say no because their unhappiness or their unapproval is your emotion. You end up feeling that. Now, what this, I believe, is either narcissism or empaths, is it's rooted in that abandonment from childhood. The funny thing is that in order to get our needs met, we will go through that to change ourselves, to change our own energy, to get other people to like us or other people's approval. We've already caused and had the first level of abandonment. We've abandoned ourselves. And that's what causes us to then change our center of gravity and to be that way around other people. So what I had to learn to do, and I had to go through a phase a couple years ago where I started to become aware of this, is I had to stop abandoning myself. And that was very hard for me to do because I had to start looking and noticing the difference between what's their stuff, what's my stuff. And one of the most powerful techniques I've learned, I actually learned from Doug, and that was the frame technique. How many of you heard me talk about the frame technique? And we've kind of already done it on the first day when we were doing the OM activation, but you literally feel that you feel in your body and you feel not just the connection, 'cause as empaths, we're already all connected. We're all one consciousness. At the same time, we're also separate. And as we start delineating and feeling the separation between us and other people, What we end up finding is we start noticing that we can now take responsibility for our own stuff and realize that other people's stuff is not ours. Does that make sense to you guys? So yes, that's a great question. So she was asking about the balance of being able to like assert boundaries and then having the initial response from people or also asserting boundaries and feeling kind of fiery with it. There is a phase you may go through as you do start setting boundaries where you almost feel guilty for setting boundaries and you almost resist and you don't want to be, people pleasers tend to have a challenge stepping into tension. For those of you that consider yourself an empath or a people pleaser, what would happen if you said something to someone, you spoke your mind and there was tension there? That probably makes you a little bit afraid. So with this, an important thing, and as Doug was saying, boundaries are internal. Boundaries are internal. At first, when I started tapping in boundaries, I was like, I'm gonna set all these boundaries. I'm gonna tell people I can't do this or I can't do that when I would normally say yes when I didn't want to. But what I found out later is the more I did that meditation where you feel the separation between you and the wall, you and the candle flame, and you start feeling safe in your own body and you start tuning into yourself. What do I wanna do? What is my intention? You start to notice a little crack opens up and you can start to, feel the separation, and then it becomes easier and easier. But it's good also to start out maybe a little bit slower 'cause the challenge is you've already primed so many people in your life are just responding to you on the way you've trained them to respond to you. So if 40 times somebody asked you, a friend asked you to do something that made you sacrifice yourself and you said yes 40 times out of the times they asked, and then all of a sudden you say no, they're thinking, what the fuck's going on? You know, and it's a break in that identity. And that's the beauty of being in this space right now is you're around other people that don't have these preconceived patterns and notions around you. So it makes it a little bit easier to shift. But the thing that I would, to kind of close out that sector of understanding this, the power is in realizing where are you trying to draw energy from? Because I've said this in some of my YouTube videos before and it sounds a little bit triggering, but in a way narcissists will do whatever they can to get their needs met. And sometimes empaths will do the same thing. It's just that the way narcissists get their needs met is they demand it on others. They demand it and they maybe do it in more aggressive ways. Whereas the empaths aren't as aggressive and they do it by giving in order to get. And that's why empaths have such a hard time receiving. Whereas narcissists are people that have more that strong energy pattern going on, they have no problem receiving. In fact, they might even expect it. So the key to this is, and the thing I had to do is I had to stop abandoning myself. And what that meant for me is I had to start asking myself, what do I want? I had to look at the shame that I had where I felt like I was not worthy. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I felt like I wasn't good enough. And a lot of times what I think empaths and people pleasers have a pattern of doing is they're trying to hide their vulnerability because vulnerability is, vulner means wound and ability is the ability, the ability to go into your wound. If you have the courage to express yourself to other people in the most authentic way, that will cure everything we're talking about right now. And for a guy that maybe is like an empath, people pleaser and has trouble with women or dating in general, whatever the dynamic is, they may have trouble actually showing sexual intent because they don't wanna get rejected. They're afraid of the abandonment wound. So something to actually do is to be vulnerable, to be vulnerable, to actually express yourself and actually to go into those situations knowing you could get rejected. And the same thing with friendships. Somebody could not be your friend if you say no to going out to the party or whatever it is. But guess what? That's their shit, not yours. And if they're gonna not be friends with you because of that, then maybe it was a surface-level relationship anyways. So we are training people to respond to us based on how we allow people to treat us. Moving forward after these 3 days, the thing to really look at is what's my stuff, what's their stuff, how can I take responsibility for my own energy, and how can I fill up my own cup by being vulnerable, by being authentic, And the more you are vulnerable and authentic, I promise you, the more rewarded you will get. There may be some reflections that aren't as, I guess, desirable. There may be some forms of tension. Tension isn't bad. Tension is not a bad thing. When you're a kid and your parents treat you a certain way, it may have been a bad thing. That's a locked-in meaning to something that we're now living in our lives where we think tension is bad. So the key is to stop abandoning the self, to make the choice to be vulnerable, to put yourself out there, to have the courage and to hold your own frame. To hold your own frame simply means exactly what we've been talking about for 2 days now, being in your body. I did that frame technique and I know I told the story in my YouTube videos, but when I was learning it in Sedona, I would go to Whole Foods, I'd go on hikes and I would just practice being in my body and feeling the separation between me and other people. And it was amazing how aware I became of how often I would say hi to people wanting a response. Like I used to work that 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes. My job was to greet people all day long that were just walking through the store. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? It's almost like, hey, can you say hi to me? Can you acknowledge me? I want you to buy shoes. You know, it's like this needy energy. But the more I would get inside my own body and realize I don't need anything from anybody else, I would go out to Whole Foods or I'd go on a hike and people, it was amazing the difference in the response. I was at a seminar once when I went to the plant medicine thing in Costa Rica 4 years ago and there was a speaker up there and she had a TED Talk. She was talking, she was up there speaking and she said, "Right now I want the audience to send me energy. Everyone send me energy." And the audience was sending her energy and she said it made her back up because the energy is being projected out here. It was almost repelling her own energy. Then she said, I want you to do the opposite. Draw your energy back in your body, bring it back inside of you, bring it back, bring it back, bring it back. And it would literally pull her energy towards you because every one of you has a magnetic core. And the more you get in your body, the more magnetic you are. The more you get in your body, the more you can see that's their shit, not mine. This is my stuff. And the more empowered you feel because then it's not about everyone else's energy. It's about how do I choose to be in this moment? How can I be vulnerable? How can I put myself out?

This video was all about being embodied and how when you are embodied, you have the most magnetic energy. Now, starting on July 1st to the 21st, we're gonna be doing a 21-day Confidence Love Challenge. So this is for becoming more confident, for releasing the blocks and releasing the doubt we may carry within a lot of times from childhood. So that we could transform our life from the inside out. So if you wanna find your frame, if you wanna be in your power, and if you wanna attract love, this is the challenge for you.

It's brand new.

If you've joined the Magnetic Love Challenge before, this is a new one. So if you wanna join, go to aarondoughty.com/love or click the link right here.