If You're An EMPATH Who Absorbs Negative Energy, WATCH THIS!

What I share with you in this video, I believe is one of the most profound ideas that has changed my life when it comes to understanding what it means to be an empath. And recently I was in a live Q&A I was doing for one of my groups and I shared this idea and I could tell that it was like, things were just shifting for people because they were having realizations. So in this video, I wanna share with you what those realizations are about being an empath how to turn it from being what some people consider to be a curse into a superpower, and then also understanding why it's there and what you can do about it to completely change the way you interact with other people. This has to do with having more magnetic energy, but at the same time, creating for yourself a container to where you don't absorb other people's energy. So it works both ways. And in this video, I'm gonna share with you exactly what to do. Welcome back to another video. My name's Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I wanna share with you some of the most profound ideas that I've learned about being an empath and what I think is very important for us to know in 2021 as well, because 2021 and this year moving forward, just in general, there's gonna be more and more of the old structures falling away And there's a tendency for people that are empaths to feel that chaotic energy, to feel other people that are going through a lot of trauma or a lot of like processing of the shadow, and then to think that it's them. And I'm gonna share with you in this video how to go through that, how to navigate through that. Now, first off, what is an empath? An empath, or what some people call a highly sensitive person, is somebody that's able to feel other people's energy. And there's some signs here that I have written down, and there's signs that you may be an empath. One is, uh, you have good sense of intuition. You have a lot of empathy for other people. You're able to really feel into them. You're able to know if people are lying to you or not. You're able to see through their intentions in a very powerful way. Sometimes closeness and intimacy can overwhelm you because you can feel it so deeply. You take a lot of comfort in nature. Most likely if you're in a chaotic city environment, you feel bombarded with energy and it's a lot for you. It's a lot of stimulation. You have a, you, you don't do well in crowded places. People tend to tell you their problems. Do you have people that come to you and they want to tell you what's going on in their life because they feel like you'll understand and you'll empathize with them and you have a hard time not caring as well. It's hard for you to just draw the line. And a lot of times empathic people as well have trouble setting boundaries with other people. They say yes to things maybe they don't want to do because they don't want to disappoint someone else, because they can so clearly feel what someone else is feeling. So if you have any of these— with, I think they say like 3 out of those, you know, 7 that I stated— then most likely you are an empath. Now here is the— I have a coach that I've been going to. It's a shadow work integration coach. It's somebody that has a double PhD in psychology, and that also is like a master when it comes to Carl Jung, understanding these different archetypes. And I've learned a lot about myself, and there's one meditation that has changed everything for me when it comes to understanding empathy, and it has to do with understanding this whole concept that I'll be sharing. And but first off, I want to share with you why and what is the core wound of somebody that is very empathic. Well, what I found is in my own life, you know, I've since a very young age been able to read people really well. Many of you know my story, but 7 to 16 years old, I had the abusive ex-stepmom in my life and she was mentally, physically, emotionally abusive. My brother and I had almost no freedom whatsoever. We weren't allowed to have friends. We weren't allowed to play outside. We weren't allowed to watch TV. We were many times working outside and we had to earn going to school activities. Well, because my ex-stepmom is what you would call a narcissist, and it's funny because there's this scale right here is narcissism on one end and empathy on the other end. Because my ex-stepmom was that way, I and my brother had to tune ourselves to our ex-stepmom so that we could survive, so that we could understand how she was feeling, what was her mood today, and then we would be able to kind of navigate through that. So in a way, being empathic for me was something that I developed because I always had to please or make sure that everything was okay with my ex-stepmom in order for me to survive, in order for me to get by, to go to school activities or whatever it is. And even growing up, because of that, I can read people like a book. I know when someone is lying to me. I used to have a roommate that was always telling me these stories that I just knew were, and some of it was not even a big deal. He was just a compulsive liar, but I just could tell this is true, this isn't true. It was so easy for me. And sometimes I'm blown away by how easy it is for me to tell, but how some people don't see the intentions. But it's something that I developed because of the whole ex-stepmom situation. And there are negative side effects of that though. Part of the negative side effects are because I was so tuned to my ex-stepmom and then 17 years old comes around, 16, 17, my dad divorced her, all of a sudden my brother and I had all this freedom. I found that that turned me in a way to a kind of like a people pleaser. Saying yes to things I didn't really wanna do. And there's another pattern though that recently I've become aware of, and it has to do with feeling safe in other people's frame. Now I know this sounds kind of weird, but the thing that a lot of empathic people I think need to learn is how to have their own frame, how to have their own container where they're able to say that this is me and then that is you. And having the own container that we can feel safe in, then allows us to have those clear boundaries and to not get it confused. So for me, that's what I was working with, with my shadow integration coach. And I was aware that even after my ex-stepmom left my life when I was 16, 17 years old, I attracted my first girlfriend into my life that was trying to control me, that was very jealous. And I felt familiar with somebody trying to control me. Even though I would resist, I'd be like, no, but that felt familiar, having that tension, having that conflict. After I broke up with that ex-girlfriend after 4 years of being together, I then got transferred to a better shoe department at Nordstrom's where the manager was trying to control me and she was just a clone of my ex-stepmom energetically. That pattern was always into my life because I felt familiar with being in someone else's frame that was trying to control me. So what I've realized up until this year is that I was feeling safe in other people's frame. And what I've learned is how to feel safe in my own frame, how to create my own container. And by going into that and being able to really differentiate what is my energy from other people's energy has completely changed my life. This is an energetic component. And when you were a kid, there's more like most likely a core wound a core wound where you had out of survival to tune yourself to other people's energy. Normally it's parents that were either depressed, that were inconsistent, or that were narcissists. So if you had any of your parents that were like that, then maybe that caused you to become a very empathic person 'cause you had to tune yourself. You could feel what they were feeling and they weren't necessarily encouraging you to feel empowered to be in your own energy. They may have actually made you feel shame for your sensitivity. It's a superpower though. You have so much awareness. You're able to tune yourself to other people. It's a gift, but you have to learn how to use this gift. So what is that? Let's look at this energy dynamic and I'm gonna share with you that most powerful meditation I think could change your life. Now, first off, here's the scale of narcissism to empathy. One end, we have narcissism. Narcissism is all about the ego and it is saying, me, me, me, me, me, give me what I want. You see the arrows are going inwards. 'cause narcissists will take what they want because it's all about them. On the other side of the spectrum, we have empathy, someone that's very empathic. Sometimes also these people turn into people pleasers because they're so tuning themselves to you, you, you, you, you, you. It's tuning to the environment. It's tuning to, it's almost like the focus of the narcissism is on the self, the focus of the empathy is on other. This other person. Now that's the difference is because the empathic person is focusing on the outside, they are tuning to the outside and they are feeling the outside and then they can tune to other people and be very sensitive there. Now here's the crazy thing. There's actually something for the empathic person to learn from the narcissist. The narcissist is the unhealthy version of pleasing the self because they'll do it at the expense of other people. The empathic person can learn how to first fill up their own cup and how to differentiate that is you versus this is me. So this is the key, is that the reason the empathic person is tuning themselves to other people is because they've learned how to do that out of a survival mechanism when they were young. But what they can begin to do is to actually see the separation. And I know a lot of people watching this right now are probably spiritual people that are like, you want me to feel separate from other people? "Hey, people, that's the opposite, Aaron. We need unity consciousness. We need to just focus on love and connection." Yes, you've already done that though if you're an empathic person. The key here is actually for you to focus on your separateness. So this is what the meditation practice is that I've been doing for my shadow integration work coach, and this was the game changer that I shared in that of the live Q&A 2 days ago that I could tell was just, people are popping like popcorn, having realizations. Here's what it is. When you meditate, I meditate every day, 5 minutes in the morning, 5 minutes at night, or probably 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at night, but I'd say a minimum 5 is normally what I tell people. And this is what you do. Stare at a candle flame that is a couple feet, like a foot in front of you. Stare at this candle flame. And what I do is I observe my thoughts. I don't try to control them. And as my eyes stare at one point, it makes it so that my eyes don't wander and my mind doesn't wander as well. Now here's the game changer. I think it's called Zazen or something. There's a name for this kind of meditation practice. What you do is on the in-breath, even this exercise right now, you could just take one deep breath in with me and I want you to become aware of a couple different things. So let's take a deep breath in. As you breathe in and as you may be staring at a candle flame or as you're staring at even just me on this video and my fingers right now, as you stare at this spot right here, what you'll notice is as you take a deep breath, what you can do is you can feel the separateness on the in-breath between you and object, subject-object. When I'm doing this as a candle flame, I'm feeling the separateness on the in-breath between me and the flame. So it's a deep breath in, and I'm staring very intently at the, the flame on the in-breath. And as I stare very intently and I really focus on that little spot, and I focus on the separateness energetically between me and the flame, what I then do is on the out-breath, I relax that. And I even will focus on the peripheral around. I won't move my eyes, but I will focus on the peripheral around that of the flame. And I focus on bringing the energy into my body and feeling the separateness between me and the flame. And I focus on feeling the energy inside of my body, in my feet, in my hands, in my arms. And as I do this, I begin to feel more present. You see, the empathic person is so tuned to the outer environment that they're not as much in their body. They're not as much present. And when you are present, let me tell you something, you are magnetic. Your energy will literally come to you. I've been to a seminar before, they were talking about, there's this lady that does energy work and she was talking about how if we all in the audience were projecting our energy at her, she was feeling pushed away. But if we would bring our energy into our bodies and we focus on being present, it would then gravitate her to us. She could feel the energy pool and you'll feel it too. I've done this even recently, even just walking around my neighborhood, going for a walk every day. I used to like would tune myself to other people. Hello, say hi. And I used to work a sales commission job and I would notice that if I was like, hi, how are you? And I wanted something from them, I was putting the attention on them that many times they would feel that and it would repel them. But if I would be like more like in my own energy and be like, hello, how you doing? And I didn't care whether they responded or not, it was a different energy dynamic. As I'm feeling good in my body, you can feel that there's a lot more of a magnetism there. And that's why when I do these videos, I think some people like watching them because I'm so present. I'm in this like channeled state. We all have a connection to our higher selves and allow this energy in, and that's when there's magnetic energy. You're allowing more of yourself to flow through. Now, the key to the empathic person is learning how to actually have more separation, to create a container for yourself, to be in your own frame. Your own frame needs to be on your own mission, to be on your own purpose. And the way you do this is by also setting healthy boundaries, setting healthy boundaries and realizing that the more you say yes to yourself, the more you can also say no to something else. And the more you say no to something you don't wanna do, if someone wants you to go to a, a loud party and you don't wanna do it and you say yes, well then what you're doing is you're going to that party, you're not enjoying yourself, then other people have to be around that energy. It's a lose, lose, lose all the way around. Instead, you could do what you wanna do and then you start to feel empowered. But one of the best practices you can do for this is to do a meditation practice every day for just a couple minutes. Observe a candle flame. On the in-breath, feel the separation, feel inside of your body, feel the separation between you and the candle flame. And then on the out-breath, begin to feel and relax that and to feel connected to everything. And normally that's a meditation practice, but as an empathic person, the thing you need to hear more is the beginning aspect of that. Feel the separation, feel grounded in your own energy, feel safe in your own energy. And as you do, you'll find that as you feel safe in your own energy, you walk around and as you're more in your body, you will have more of a magnetic energy pull on other people, but you'll also be able to differentiate your energy from their energy. And then when someone comes to you with negative energy, guess what? You're not gonna absorb it. You're gonna be able to observe it because you're gonna be in the container of your own energy. So what I'm sharing with you here is one of the most powerful insights that I've had as an empathic person. And as I've created more of this within myself, I can tell I create more attraction for my own energy. I can tell that I'm more grounded in my own energy. I enjoy life more in my own energy. And I'm not taking on other people's things because I'm able to differentiate and delineate between my energy and their energy. And that's one of the most powerful things that has changed my life. And if you didn't know, I have a whole entire podcast episode that explains all of these ideas in more detail. I give even more tips, more stories about how I move through this. You can see that it's on my second YouTube channel called Into the Vortex with Aaron Doughty. I also have a podcast that I do 2 times a week on where I've been putting almost all my energy lately. That's why you haven't seen many YouTube videos like this. So if you want, check out that podcast, subscribe to that podcast. There's 2 episodes a week. It's so easy to listen to. Other than that, that other video will be right here. And as always, I will talk to you guys on the next episode. Peace, much love, and namaste.