INSTANTLY Turn Awkwardness Into ATTRACTIVENESS By Doing This ONE Thing!

This video, I'm gonna show you how being shy, being an introvert, being awkward, how these can actually be your greatest superpower, how you can embody it in a way that is super attractive, and how to really reframe this whole entire thing. Because the truth is that which you own within your body and that which you own within your energy is attractive. And what a lot of times happens is people judge themselves. People say, oh, I'm awkward, or I am shy, and I'm an introvert. I'm not good with people. They have all these beliefs that stop them from unleashing their true selves. Now, the funny thing is the only reason awkwardness wouldn't be attractive to somebody else, or the energy in a way would be like way less attractive, is if you were self-conscious about the awkwardness and you felt like there was something wrong. You felt like the energy that was coming out of you was like, I shouldn't be this way. But what's funny is I've seen this happen many times. People own it. They just simply own it. They own that they are sometimes awkward. They own that they are sometimes shy or that they're a shy person. And if they own it, it has a completely different energy. It's like when you, if you were to have like a mole on your face or something, you're wondering, are people noticing the mole? I hope people don't see it. I hope people don't judge me for it. And what happens is then it's like when you're around, you're thinking everyone's looking at your mole. Are they looking at my mole? Are they looking at my eyes? What are they looking? And then you feel even more like, you feel like more insignificant or more like judged for it. When in actuality, people feel what you feel about you. So when it comes to awkwardness, shyness, introversion, or whatever, if you softened up the resistance about it, that energy would emanate off of you and other people would feel that. There are many times I can look at my own life and see that when I felt self-conscious about certain things, I would, I'd feel small. It would actually work against me. But then what would happen is I would just say, you know what, screw it, I'm going to own it. And as I would own it, I would have a different energy about myself. So this is something to become aware of. And also here's the thing too, even if somebody says this, like I've seen it happen before where people may feel awkward, say, "Sorry, sometimes I'm awkward." They literally say that like, "So sorry, sometimes I'm awkward." And they say it just with that like kind of energy. And someone's like, "Oh, this person's comfortable with themselves." Vulnerability is very attractive. When you are the most vulnerable and authentic version of yourself, it has an effect. Look at this magnetic beam. Now this is the triad. I'll explain this in a minute. But in general, these are some of the qualities that are very attractive to people. And one of the qualities is being authentic and being vulnerable, even being courageous. Being courageous means showing the real you, owning the real you. When you own it, other people feel that. And insecurity is something that we try to hide outta shame. Think about the energy of shame. The energy of shame says there's something wrong with me. I'm broken, people won't accept me. And the way that we deal with the energy of shame, and I think most of us have some degree of shame, is we try to hide it. For a long time, I was the nice guy people pleaser. That was my personality. My dad was a nice guy people pleaser. He attracted my ex-stepmom who's a narcissist. And I would like see that dynamic play out from 7 to 15. My ex-stepmom was in my life. My dad divorced when I was 15. I saw my dad go through a lot of pain after that because my ex-stepmom did her best to make my dad's life like really challenging with his, my sisters and stuff like that where that was her real mom, their real mom. And the people pleaser nice guy thing, it's a mechanism that people use to avoid tension. So instead of going into it, like I think one of the best things my dad could have done with my ex-stepmom was actually stand up to her and really in a powerful way, hold his own ground, hold his own energy. If he would've done that, it would've been a completely different game probably in how things play out. Everything's good now because my sisters are grown up and everything. Time goes by fast. But in general, I can tell that I took on the, it wasn't safe for me to express the real vulnerable me growing up because my ex-stepmom would come in and she was, narcissist, abusive, physically, emotionally, and emotionally, mentally, like, manipulative. So I'd have to like tune myself to her to know, is it safe? Is it safe? Is it safe? So then I got the nice guy people pleaser mentality was active within me because I was always trying to find out, is it safe? Am I gonna make someone mad? Am I gonna disappoint someone? Is someone gonna think I'm awkward? And here's the thing too, I was very awkward for a very long time because from 7 to 15 years old, I wasn't allowed to have, I wasn't allowed to go to school activities. I had to earn going to school in general. There'd be times I get in trouble for not taking the trash out or doing something not correctly and I'd like get school taken away from me. And I wasn't allowed to have friends from 7 to 15 years old. Literally people at school would be like, let's hang out. I'd be like, oh, I can't. I'd have to come up with some weird excuse not to look weird. Like, and it would be weird 'cause they would feel that I was lying, but I can't be like, well, I'm in this crazy thing where my ex-stepmom says I'm not allowed to have friends. I was embarrassed by it. So what I would do is I would not have friends from 7 to 15 years old. Was it just my brother and I? A lot of times we were locked outside doing yard work. I'm not saying all this, by the way, to say pity me. I'm just showing you kind of painting the picture because then 15, 16 came around. My dad divorced my stepmom. My brother and I have all this freedom. That's when I was allowed to go to parties. I was allowed to start having fun and meeting other kids and I was allowed to have friends and that's when I started developing friendships. With other people. I was allowed to stay after school and like hang out with people. I didn't have to earn food. I didn't have to earn like going to school. And guess what that meant? At first, I was very awkward. I didn't know how to interact with people and relate with people in certain ways. Like, of course, at school I would interact a little bit, but I was really sheltered and kind of had this box around me. And it was like the, the more that I, one of the things I did do too is I had to eventually drop the label and the identity of being awkward. And the way that I did that is by being courageous and just stepping into like hanging out with people and being around other people. And as I did it, it got more and more natural. But at first I was like, I felt safe in my little box of just hanging around my brother and I and like going, we did like theater for a while. So maybe that helped a little bit. I did forensics debate too, which helped me with talking with people. But in general, I know what it's like to be awkward because I had to like literally learn at 15, 16 years old how to interact with people. And one of the things that I eventually learned is how just to own who I am, to own my own energy, even to own my own awkwardness, to own that for a period of time I didn't have the luxury of being around other kids and having friends and hanging out with them and playing outside and stuff like that. And by owning it, it completely changed my own energy. But also from having the courageousness to like step into a new you and having the courageousness to like, um, to like step into interacting with other people, you start to familiarize it more and more and you can also focus on being present. This is something that eventually happened to me. I went through breathwork. I mean, I've talked about breathwork a lot since I've been going through the training, but I got certified in breathwork recently and I, that means that I was breathing in a certain pattern. I was releasing a whole bunch of emotion that was stored in my body, a lot of which I didn't even understand. Or no was there. And one of the results of this though is that I started to become very present. I'm more— I've been way more present with people than I was before I did the breathwork because it was a 4-day like breathwork certification thing. But I did breathwork like 2 or 3 times in those 4 days and released a lot. And I was at dinner a couple nights ago with my girlfriend and she was like, you've gotten so much better at talking with people. Because normally I think sometimes I have a little bit of a wall up just because I'm so busy in my business and stuff like that. When I go You know, sometimes this— sometimes small talk to me can be a little bit annoying because small talk is kind of surface level. It's like, hi, look at the weather. Hi, cool. Yeah, see, you know, how is it? Oh yes. Kind of like the small talk that sometimes you'll have with waiters, you know what I mean? Or people that are like in certain industries. But she was right. I was just more present when I was talking and I was just more, more in my body in a way. And she said, wow, you got so much better at talking with people. And I thought it was kind of funny because of Always been good at talking to people, but there was a level of acceptance. There was a level of just presence that you can also bring to the table. And I think that when people feel awkward or introverted or shy, they think there's something wrong and they think that they have to sometimes fill the space or they think they should be talking when they don't feel like talking. Silence is very powerful. Space is very powerful in between the words, in between the sentences. And a lot of times that allows other people to be present with you. My best friend Victor, he's very introverted. I'm very extroverted in many ways. I've seen him kind of battle with this sometimes because we'll go to these retreats that we do in Costa Rica, these plant medicine retreats, and we're around like 30 or 40 people that are, you know, that know who we are from YouTube videos and we're hanging out with them as we're doing plant medicine and stuff for those like 4 or 5 days. Sometimes he's like, looks at me, looks at his wife Patty, looks at Heather, and like we're all like super social and he feels like, oh, I'm not, I need to like force myself to be more social than I am. I need to like force myself to talk and like always have energy to be around people. When in fact he gets a lot of energy when he like, he'll hang out for a little bit and then he'll go and like just sit by himself or just go lay down, take a nap. And what he learned how to do though is exactly what I'm sharing in this video. He started owning it. He started owning like there's no problem if I walk away. And go relax for a little bit. And actually, people really appreciate his energy about like sometimes he's very quiet, but guess what? It means he's a really good listener. People really enjoy being around him because he like listens in a very powerful way and he's very present, he's very empathic, and like people enjoy that introverted, shy aspect of him. It's actually his superpower. But I can tell there was a huge energy shift when he began to own it. Before he owned it and he thought there was something wrong, he tried to force himself to talk and he'd waste energy, try to force himself to have energy when he didn't have it and he'd waste even more energy. Everything changed when he began to embody it, when he began to own it. And you can own anything. I've seen people own, like I've seen people that felt, you know, because of their culture, where they're from, they feel like they're insecure about it. They think everyone else is judging them because of their accent. Own it. The things that make you different, the more, the degree to which you own it is the degree to which it's gonna be attractive. It's only because we believe it's not something that is attractive, we believe that it's something that we need to try to hide, that people can feel that incongruent energy. Don't have to hide it anymore. But you can also have courage and maybe even an ability to like reframe some of these definitions. I reframed my own awkwardness. I reframed many things that kept me in little box of feeling a certain way. And all your insecurities, if you own them and understand that they can actually be something that you feature, like feature your perceived flaws, you will have a completely different energy. This comes as a result of your energy from the inside out. And it's also about not tuning to the environment. Like you don't need to check to see the, okay, is this person seeing me more attractive? It's tuning to the external and looking for that validation when you can feel it within yourself. The more comfortable you feel within yourself and the more energy you bring with inside of your body and the more that you just own who you are, the more people feel that because remember, people feel what you feel about you. And the way you let go of resistance is by becoming aware of it and then making the choice to let it go. Resistance is there because of an attachment, some type of attachment to a belief, to a way we should be. And you become aware of the attachment, you can then say, wait, if I let that go, I'm more free. And then when you're more emotionally free, you will have more magnetic energy, I promise you. Now talk about magnetic being, the magnetic being triad, there's something called the MAP, the Magnetic Activation Process. It's a step-by-step 40-minute video that shows you step-by-step how to go through the MAP, the Magnetic Activation Process, comes with a PDF. That shows you how to apply it. It's completely free. If you wanna learn how to attract your dream life, how to unleash non-attached magnetic energy, go to aarondoughty.com/map. Also, one of the most attractive qualities you can have is confidence. So I have 5 confidence secrets that will completely transform your life and make you attractive AF. Watch this video right here. People feel what you feel about you. The energy inside of our bodies are contagious, and based on how we feel about ourselves, that energy is being emanated out, and other people are responding to us based on that energy.