When you stop chasing and focus on healing instead, your ex often comes back. But the speaker warns: don't use letting go as a trick to manipulate them. The real work is breaking the unhealthy pattern you were stuck in, not winning them back.
People that go through a breakup, one person may have wanted the breakup, one person may not want to. That person may think of this person a lot, may have a hard time getting over it, and there's like no contact between these two. But then what happens is this person finally starts pouring their energy back on themselves. This person begins to let go. This person begins to allow time to heal. And then what can happen is this person finally lets go of attachment. And because they're not thinking about this person and because they're not attached, A lot of times what can happen is then this person starts to reach out again. And ironically enough, right when this person finally let go, this person's reaching out. Happens all the time. And one of the reasons being is because once you let go and once you start choosing you, then other people start choosing you again, even someone from the past. Now, even as I say that right now, some people might be like, oh, that's all I gotta do. All I have to do is I have to let go of thinking about them and then they're gonna come back. But guess what? That's also, that is trying to control the outcome and it's doing something with an agenda. So the key to this is understanding that maybe it didn't work out for a reason. Maybe this person was more representative of a pattern than anything. And this is you breaking up with the pattern, maybe not the person. You don't have to fight to get this person to see you a certain way. You don't have to settle for a situationship or some type of dynamic that's not healthy. One of the biggest breakthroughs for you to have might be that it's time to actually let this go.
