Aaron Doughty argues that trying to make people like you is manipulation that backfires. The need for approval often stems from childhood wounds, pushing people to perform idealized versions of themselves instead of being authentic. Real freedom comes from accepting that others may not choose you.
you have to be okay with people not choosing you. Because the thing is, is that's when you're actually free. You're not trying to control the outcome when you can let someone like you or not. And if you have someone and you're getting someone to like you, it's a form of manipulation. You're literally manipulating them to like you, which is a form of control, which is not magnetic and actually deters that which you want. So being okay with whether people resonate with you or not is a very important part of freedom. And when you're attached to what they think or not, many times that's connected to an inner child part of you that may not have felt validated or approved of for mom and dad. The thing is, is the thing that we crave most as kids is connection. We crave love and connection. If love and connection was not readily available as a kid, we will settle for approval and validation. And approval and validation, it becomes this thing we think we want. But who do we believe we need to be to be approved of or validated? That might be the good guy, the perfect person, the beautiful one, all of these things, the giver, the fixer. There's an incredible amount of pressure with that. And can you imagine having all of that pressure everywhere you go? You probably wouldn't be expressing your real you.
If you can see this, you're about to become so magnetic you are unrecognizable
