Letting go and Detaching is Easy AF (when you do this)

Aaron Doughty explains how inherited beliefs and childhood wounds act like rocks in your pocket, weighing you down. He uses his own attachments—to ADHD labels, 9-to-5 work, relationship validation—to show how awareness lets you put them down. Meditation and a clear vision are the tools that make letting go actually work.
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Think of this rock as a form of attachment. Imagine you're climbing some amazing hike, you're going on a hike and you just start picking up these rocks and you start putting them in your pocket and before long you're halfway along the hike, you feel like you're weighed down, there's a whole bunch of resistance and you wonder why you're out of breath. Well, that's because you've been picking up rocks, putting them in your pocket, thinking that they're yours or even thinking that it's your responsibility to pick up the rocks and to carry them with you on the hike. Well, in the same way, think of letting go as just that. You're on a hike of life. You are going through life, you're on this journey, and the things you pick up and you put in your pocket many times aren't even yours. Just like this rock isn't even mine. I just picked it up here. It's Mother Gaia's. In the same way, you'll find though that a lot of your limiting beliefs will be that of other people's. There's a book that recently came, not recently, I don't know how, it's called like, What's it called? It's called something like, it wasn't yours, or I forget, I'll put the book right here. You can see what book this is, but I'm reading it right now. And basically what it has to do with is it's called, it didn't start with you. It didn't start with you. Many of the beliefs we have did not start with us. They were part of what we learned growing up, but many times they're even a part of our own parents. So there were, our parents may have had different patterns growing up. and then what happens is those same patterns kind of leaked onto us. We thought they were ours. Now, one of the best parts about understanding this is there's a lot of scientific research that goes into the epigenetics. Basically, as a species, we learned from our parents and from our environment growing up, and what we do is— the purpose of that is so that we carry on the patterns of our parents so that we can work through it, and then whatever we don't work through, we give to our kids, and then it keeps going down the line. And the idea is that the more we learn the more we are able to kind of adapt in a way. Now what happens is the issues that our parents went through, their patterns that many of us took on and we thought they were our own, we think they're ours, but once we realize they're not really ours, we picked them up from our environment, we picked them up from our parents, from the energy dynamics growing up, it makes it so much easier to let go of. So it's because then we don't really identify with it as much. So one thing that I've been doing recently, I've realized that some of the beliefs and the patterns that I have, I absorbed from my dad. Some of them I absorbed from my mom. And it's not like they're right or wrong, but being aware of them makes it much easier for me to realize why it is that way. You know, it's like, then when you realize that it's not yours, it's so much easier to let go of. And sometimes it even comes from the social conditioning of our environment growing up, like our, like the government or, whatnot, like I used to believe I had ADHD. Therefore I took Adderall, which the side effects of it, you couldn't eat very much, you couldn't sleep very much. People told me I had that because I have a lot of energy. And then I put that ADHD rock and I put it in my pocket and I carried it with me and I believed it. But then what happens is I learned meditation. And when I learned meditation, I learned how to observe my thoughts. And I learned that meditation was in a way me like lurking at this, lurking, me looking at this rock and then realizing that I had a choice that I could put it down and I didn't have to continue to carry it with me. So in the same way, the thing that I encourage you to do is to become aware of these beliefs that you have, become aware of these things that you've attached yourself to. The thing is, is when you become aware of it, that's where the power is. When you're unaware of it, it's like you're walking around and you just have those rocks in your pocket. So I know it's kind of like a metaphor for understanding life, but in general, this is what I've realized and understand this too. The only reason it will feel hard for you to let go is because of the reasoning of the mind as to why you should hold onto the rock or the attachment. That's why it's all about awareness. The reason is really what it is. You know, I shared a lot that, uh, scale of consciousness that shows the different levels of consciousness. And what happens is at the level of reasoning is the level of the mind. It's meaning. Whatever we give meaning to in life is the effect we get out of it. In the same way, when it comes to attachments, We remain attached to things because of the reasons as to why we should be attached to it. We have a meaning. And sometimes the thing is, is this meaning that remains on autopilot, we're not aware of what that meaning is. Maybe the meaning is that if we remain attached to our painful past, then what happens is it makes us justify why we went through what we did. You see, that's where it comes from. There's a payoff there. Even if the payoff makes you angry, there's a payoff there and there's a reason you're doing it. So one thing that I've been doing lately is letting go of reason Letting go and becoming aware of meaning. I gave the meaning that I have a lot of energy. They call this ADHD and that this is who I am and I just have a lot of energy and then, you know, I need to take Adderall for it and there's just something wrong with me, which also went to my self-worth. I thought I was unworthy, but then I became aware of that belief, the story, you know, that book that I was talking about, "It Didn't Start With You." Basically what it talks about is stories, the stories of our parents, were passed on to us energetically, and then we continue to live those stories on autopilot, not even aware that we can let go of the story. 90% of the process of transformation, you wanna know what it is? Just becoming aware of the story. If you just become aware of the story, the belief that you had from growing up, many times look at abandonment wounds, look at your childhood wounds from when you were a kid, traumatic experiences. You may not even remember them, but you can feel the different emotions that may come up. But what happens is you realize that these stories have been passed on. You know, I looked at my past and I can see how there was different wounds there, and I could see how my mom had the same wounds. My dad had the same wounds. They attracted each other because of that. Call that trauma bonding. It's such a common thing. But the thing and the part of this process that I really want to encourage you to do is to look at and to become aware of the attachments you have. For a long time, I was letting go of my attachment to being in a relationship. It was something that I identified with. I met somebody that I had great connection with, still to this day, it's one of my best friends. But I, in my mind, had this trauma wound from when I was a kid of wanting my mom's love and attention. And then what happened is I attracted women into my life where I would always try to get that love, validation, and attention. And what I found is, is once I became aware of that pattern, I can then give myself that attention, that love, and then feel safe and then not worry about rejection, which is something that happens when you feel abandoned at a certain point when you're a kid. And that completely changed my energy. I realized that wasn't really the source. The source was within me. I abandoned myself and I'd abandoned myself by becoming like fitting into other people's frame. So one of the biggest transformations I've had this year is letting go of being in other people's frame, being in my own frame, being much more grounded and inside my body and not being afraid to go into— this has been huge— not being afraid to go into tension and to do what I want to do. This has been key, not just for polarity, not just for energy, but it really helps me to be really be happy, to fill up my own cup. But all that comes from letting go, letting go of the painful past, letting go of ADHD, letting go of a 9 to 5 job that brought me security before I went full-time on YouTube. Why? The reasons to why that was hard to let go of is because I justified it with, I need to have this and this is what gives me money to pay my bills and all that stuff. And what will people think when I start making content like this on YouTube and stuff? But you have to have a vision as well. Have a vision, 'cause then you also have a reason to why you should let go of those attachments. So really it's about the vision, the commitment to that vision, and letting go of attachments by realizing those attachments aren't really you anyways. They're literally like rocks that you pick up, you put in your pocket, you identify with, you think they're yours. And then what happens is you carry them with you everywhere you go. You're on a long hike and you wonder why you feel resistance, where the resistance is because those rocks are in your pocket. You're carrying them around. You don't need to, but you think you do and you have reasons to why you should. This rock belonged to my dad. This rock belonged to my mom. This rock over here I had in 7th grade. This rock explains why I went through everything I went through when I was a kid. And then we put those rocks in our pocket. It's all this resistance and we don't know why. The key is letting go of those reasons. Would you rather be right? Would you rather be right? Yeah, you got that. You got that rock from your dad or your mom. Yeah, you're right. You got that when you were a kid. It justifies your childhood. You're right. But are you willing or are you desiring to be right at the expense of your own happiness? You see, you can be happy or you can be right. You're right, that rock came from mama. That rock came from dada. You're right, but you can let it go. You don't have to carry it with you everywhere you go. And that's what the key to really raising your frequency is, raising your vibration is. It's letting go, letting go and being free and aligning. When you let go of caring what people think, when you let go of validation, when you let go of attachments, you become free. Then you just are unapologetically yourself. It's really the key to this whole video. Let go, let go. Get these rocks, pick them up. It might be fun to pick up some attachments, but eventually you're gonna have to let them go. And you could set them down gently like that. You don't have to like throw them down and like, it doesn't have to be so, you just make the choice to let them go because you want to be free. When you let go of these rocks, you literally become free. And when you become free, you can then be me. I mean, you can't be me, but you can be you, okay? And that really is the key to this whole entire process. And it's one of the most powerful things. Now, a lot of this is based honestly in childhood wounds. I made a meditation where what we did is we energetically went to Kauai, Hawaii. Can you say that 5 times? Kauai, Hawaii. What we do is we tap into our own inner child. And we heal our inner child. This is the exact meditation I did to heal my own attachment style, which I don't know if you know about that. This is what I did to heal the abandonment wounds, all these wounds from childhood that really just changed my life, allowed me to be more in my frame, removed blocks. I feel more free to be me and authentic than ever before. You can get that meditation below or go to aarondoughty.com/child, 'cause it's a child meditation, C-H-I-L-D. Listen to that meditation for 21 days, watch what happens. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. Like this video if you liked it. Subscribe if you haven't already. Like this video if you want more videos where I'm outside in nature. I just recently moved to Sedona and this is like the environment I'm in. I'm really close to my house right now, so I could do videos like this all the time that are more intuitional like this. Let me know. Like it below if so and comment. And on that, I'll talk to you guys in the next bit. Peace, much love, and namaste.
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