Letting go is EASY when you do this (Make detaching EASY)

Aaron Doughty explains that letting go becomes easy once you choose it. Attachment creates resistance and suffering, while detachment generates magnetic energy that attracts abundance. He shares how chasing YouTube milestones drained him until he created from pure passion instead, and how his Sedona house purchase unfolded smoothly once he stopped controlling the outcome.
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Letting go is actually very easy when we allow it to be easy. Letting go is only hard because we believe that one, it has to be hard, but the main reason letting go is hard is because we believe that if we were to let go of what we want, whether that is an attachment to a person, a label, an outcome, a status or identity or belief, we believe that if we let one of these things go, and our attachment to it go, we believe that if we let it go, we won't actually get it. This is the funny thing. Now here's the truth though, that is, couldn't be further from the truth. If you remain attached to these things, then what that means is you think that your inner sense of happiness is dependent on a person, a label, an outcome, a belief, or an identity. That's the fallacy. That's the false belief that we believe. But what we'll find is that if we remain attached, we create resistance. If we are unattached and in a way we don't care, now not caring doesn't mean we don't care about people or being narcissistic. What not caring means is you're good either way because you're not attached to the outcome. That's when you become dangerously authentic and free to be yourself. Now think about this. It hasn't ever actually served you to be really attached to the outcome of anything. If you're really attached, there's a needy energy there. There's almost a desperation, and there's this feeling that if you don't get what you want, then you won't be happy. So it's almost like a scarcity mindset. Now here's the thing though. When you let go of the outcome, you have more magnetic energy. You are more likely to attract better synchronicity into your life. You are more likely to attract love into your life. You're more likely to attract abundance into your life because you have more magnetic energy. You're not attached to the outcome. Think about it, think about it like this. A woman goes on a date with two different guys at different times, not the same time. One guy is very needy. I hope you give me validation. He's really dependent on the outcome. He really cares what this person thinks about them. Guess what? Women are extraordinarily intuitive and they can feel into that immediately. And what's gonna happen is it's gonna repel her. She's gonna say, ooh, this energy seems needy. It wants something from me. It's trying to control me. It wants me to give them validation, love, and support. And what happens though is say that woman then goes on a date with another guy who's just authentically being himself. Let's say this guy is just not attached to the outcome. He doesn't, he's not so agreeable because he doesn't have to be because he realizes that he's worthy already. And he doesn't, he's not really weighing his sense of worthiness or he's not as attached to the outcome. Well, most likely the energy's gonna be very different and she's gonna feel that and she's gonna feel more magnetized to it. You see, that's the energy dynamics that I'm talking about here. Now imagine that that person is also the universe. And imagine with the universe, we're trying to control things. We're being needy. We're trying to be attached. Well, guess what? That attachment equals resistance, and it's rooted in the false belief and premise that something on the outside is going to affect us and make us happy on the inside, when that's not the case at all. Happiness is a state of consciousness. Happiness is when we're present to the moment and we're doing things for an end of itself. It's we're painting because we want to paint, not because it's gonna make us a lot of money and it's gonna give us what— that might be a side effect, But when I first got on YouTube, I was making YouTube videos because I was really passionate about it and I wanted to help people, but I was also enjoying the process of it. The more I enjoy the process of it, the more other people feel into that and the more magnetic my videos became. And that's why some people might binge watch my videos. I'm in a flow state. And even now it's funny, as I do podcast episodes, as I make more episodes like this, I'm starting to love it again. I'm starting to feel so alive when I do it. And because of that, my guess is that more people are feeling that and more people are interested in it than before when I was just kind of going through the motions, you see. But it's an end of itself. Right now I'm making this episode, this video, this podcast, whatever it is for you, because I want to, because I'm present. But if I was gonna do it because I had to check it off for the day, it's an obligation, you would feel that too. So one of the biggest changes that will— the biggest things that will change your life by watching this video is by the end of this video or episode or whatever this is, you will understand why you should let go and you will understand exactly how to do that. And it will completely— I believe it'll completely transform your life, what I share with you in this video, because it's gonna also involve the different dynamics of the things that have changed within me. That have changed my own perspective. So first off, realize this: attachment equals suffering. Being attached to the outcome of things, being attached to other people, being attached has never actually really served you. Attachments can sometimes bring pleasure, but they do not bring happiness. You can get that thing, that relationship you really want, you can get it, and then you go through a honeymoon stage for the first 3 or 4 months and you feel really, really good. but that's pleasure. That's not happiness because as soon as that pleasure gets taken away, it is then based on if you have it or not to whether you feel pleasure or not pleasure. Happiness is a state of consciousness. You're present to the moment. You're okay. You're not attached to the outcome. So with attachment, there's normally this pain-pleasure mechanism. Get a little spike of it. That person leaves. Oh, I don't feel it anymore. You see, so understand that what you thought was bringing you happiness was actually only bringing you short-term pleasure. Because if that person were to start loving someone else, my guess is that happiness would go away and that love towards them would also go away because that love is not unconditional. Real love is unconditional. You love someone so deeply that even if that thing is not with you, then you're still happy about it. You're still okay with it. Same thing with the outcome of different things. It's, it's, it's having a flow of life and really letting go of trying to control things. When we try to control things, what happens is we are infusing resistance onto things and that resistance is then causing things to be vibrationally butchered up. So this is, this is a part that, that I really wanted to share is the, the, the thing that, the reason it's hard to let go or the reason you think letting go is not easy is because you think that this is some complicated process. It's not. Letting go is extraordinarily easy. It's about the choice to let go. Like, imagine like a guy and a girl in a relationship. Love is the easiest analogy for this. That's why I'm using it a lot. But imagine a guy and girl are in the relationship and imagine that it's really, really hard for a guy to let go of the girl or the girl to let go of the guy. And what happens is eventually, imagine something happens. Imagine that guy or girl ends up wrecking your house, threatening your family, and coming after you. Well, it probably was hard for you to let them go, but it probably made it a little bit easier because now the choice to let it go is very clear to you. What felt like it was hard was that you were kind of wanting to let it go, but kind of not wanting to let it go when you were in this in-between zone. But the moment that person then threatens you, then it's like, nope, I'm letting go. You make the choice and it's much easier. You see that it gives it that closure in a way. So it's really not letting go that it's hard. It's making the choice to let go that is hard. And why is the choice hard? Because it's built in a false premise. Now, a lot of times the false premises that we might have is that if this thing we used to think was gonna bring us happiness, and now that we, if we let go of it, we're not gonna get it. That's the false belief. But it's also realizing that why do we want that thing? Why do we want the person, the label, the outcome, the belief, or the status, or the identity? It's because we believe if we had that thing, then we'd be whole and complete. So a lot of attachment is pointing us in the direction of our own shadow. What is our shadow? Our shadow is the unconscious part of ourselves we're not aware of. For a long time on YouTube, I was focused on, yes, helping people, but there was a shadow part of me that really liked the significance. There was a shadow part of me that really wanted more and more people to like my videos because if more people would like my videos, then I would feel worthy. And I think a lot of myself, I just didn't feel so worthy. So I thought more views, more subscribers, more attention would get me more of that. And for years I imagined that YouTube play button. Then I got the YouTube play button for a million subscribers or whatever, and it didn't feel the way that I glamorized it and I thought it would feel. It felt pretty normal, pretty natural, because I was in making it more important in my mind. I was so attached to the outcome. And the funny thing was when I really let go of the outcome of how many subs came into the channel and all these things, that's when the results came because I was letting go of that inner resistance and I was allowing the flow to happen. And when I was in the moment of making videos because I was passionate about making videos, that's when the best results came. But if I was making videos for views and for different— for validation, then guess what? People would feel that. But that inner doing it because of that significance, and the why is extraordinarily important to this. If you want somebody in your life because you believe that person will make you happy, then I'm sorry to tell you, but you're gonna find out that even when you get that person, it's gonna feel somewhat empty or you're gonna attract someone into your life that also feels not whole and complete. You see, everything in our reality is a reflection of our inner reality. And if our inner reality is saying, this is not good enough, I need something to change on the outside, I need to control something, We're externalizing our own level of happiness. So letting go is actually very, very easy. It's just that making the choice to let go is what is difficult. Now, why is it also sometimes more difficult to make the choice to let go? Because we believe as well, there's a lot of times a payoff, a payoff for being attached. And a lot of times one of the dirtiest payoffs, by the way, is the payoff to be right. So for me, for example, I remember this one time, I've shared this story a couple times before, but I remember one time I was coming back from, with my ex-girlfriend, we were traveling. This is from, this is like last year, we were in Hawaii, traveling back to the United States, and we were both booking a ticket, and we were booking a ticket, we wanted to sit in first class because we just got done traveling for a month, and we both were booking at the same exact moment, Her transaction went through first, then my transaction went through, and when my transaction went through, it said, sorry, the price has gone up and you have to pay more. And I'm like, why would I pay more? We pushed the button at almost the same time. I call Expedia or whoever I used. I think Expedia. Hey, they, they upped my price and I was booking at the same time. If I would have known it would up the price, we would have just booked it together and Venmo'd each other or something. And, um, Then I was quite angry about, I was like, I was frustrated about it because now I had to pay more and it didn't seem fair to me. She explained to me, well, the price of the first class, every time somebody buys it, the price goes up. We can't change that. That's through the airline, not us. I'm like, okay. I was mad about it for like literally 2 hours. Then I realized it was the most huge epiphany for me. I realized that I was attached to being right at the expense of my own happiness. That's what we do a lot of times. We want to be right. We want to control the outcome. And if we would just control the outcome, or we would just be right, if we're attached to that position, that perspective, that's what's causing unhappiness. But the payoff— I got a payoff from that. The payoff was that I was right, but at the expense of being happy. That's why we remain attached, because we want to be right. We're attached because we want certainty. And if we're afraid that if we were to let go, then we would, if we were to let go, then we wouldn't actually get that which we want. If we were to let go, then the universe would give us chaos because at a certain point in our past, maybe our childhood was hectic and we thought that if we let go, then all this crazy stuff happened. So now I gotta be in control. I think a lot of my own willpower, my own success has maybe come from having a certain work ethic and that work ethic I may have had from childhood, but also from trying to control things in my life, I realized having a 9-to-5 job, somebody tell me what to do isn't so pleasurable. So if I can control my own destiny, that's good. But then it's like almost I had this hard work mentality that I was attached to. Why am I attached to it? Because it's something certain. I know that if I work hard, I'll have more control over my life rather than now knowing there's a new paradigm where I can let go and allow things to be easy. Now I wanted to share a couple analogies of this. Now, first off, pain and pleasure with letting go. We believe that if we let go, we're gonna get pain. We're gonna get pain because we're not gonna get what we want. And remember, the way the motivation works within all of us is we will always move towards what we think brings us pleasure, and we will always move away from what we believe brings us pain. And if we believe letting go is gonna bring us pain, And we believe falsely that if we remain attached, we're gonna get pleasure. I'll tell you right now that if you're attached to a person, a thing, an outcome, if you're attached to it, what happens is you're putting this inner pressure on that person, and that inner pressure is then causing them to put up a wall. Same thing in the universe. If you're trying to control things, you're putting up this inner pressure, and it's almost like it's reflecting back to you that inner pressure. But once you realize that your attachment is actually bringing you pain, that's when you can flip the script. Understand that if you want somebody to come around, you want someone to change, you wanting them to change is trying to manipulate them and it's trying to control them. They can feel that. And when they feel that, they're gonna put up an inner wall. They're not gonna be able to hear it. I remember when I first went through my awakening, I wanted everyone to understand what I was going through and how powerful meditation was. And I wanted them to understand that we're eternal spiritual beings living temporary human experiences. But guess what happened? By me wanting them to do that, they put up a wall. They thought I was going crazy or something. They didn't understand what I was going through. And what happened is once I let go of what they thought, once I let go of trying to teach them Once I let go of trying to manipulate them to understand me, guess what? They came around. That's the way that it works. The way this works is when you let go, that's when things actually come towards you. But the key to this is making the choice to let go by knowing that letting go, by being attached, you are creating pain. You are creating that resistance, and you think falsely that if you remain attached, then you're going to actually get what you want. When actually, when you remain attached, you are butchering up the vibration. You are causing yourself not to have magnetic energy. You're literally repelling that from your life. And when you do this, by the way, you will become so free, it's crazy. One of the things I really had to let go of this year, just to be honest with you guys, is letting go of my attachment to a past relationship. I was so attached to the outcome. I was trying to, in a way, control it because I wanted this person to— I was like, oh, this deep spiritual connection, this is how it's supposed to be. But I realized that me being attached to it is causing me actually more pain. Not only that, but I'm actually repelling it. I'm repelling any future outcome. So what I did is I let go. And when I let go and realized and did the inner work, the inner shadow work, and I realized that I'm already whole and complete, I don't need anything on the outside to change for me to feel happy. I could feel happy just being myself. And the more I let go, the more free I felt and the better I felt. And then funny enough, now it's like I have a different magnetic energy about me. Same with creating YouTube videos. I felt blocked for a long time because I was trying to force videos to get views and I was trying to force people to like me and say the right things. But now I've let go. I curse sometimes in my video. I just say what I bluntly think. And guess what? I feel free, I feel unattached. And because of that, I feel like people can feel that energy. Now, something I wanted to talk about as well is think about the scarcity mindset that comes in. 1,000 flowers. If you are attached, you are attaching yourself to just a few of the 1,000 flowers. You're just trying to smell its scent without realizing that there's thousands of them. So it's a scarcity mindset when we are attached. We're thinking that this is the one thing, this is the one thing I can appreciate and I need to control it and I can't let it go 'cause if I let it go, then I won't have it anymore. Rather than realizing that there's thousands of flowers everywhere, there's an abundance everywhere. And if you would just trust the universe to bring you the flowers, you wouldn't be attached to just this flower. It's a way of relating to life that will completely change your life once you begin to tap into it. Now the other side of this is realizing— first off, I have a buddy, his name's Matt. He was telling me this really interesting story. He had this like guru guy that he went to and he trained under him for like a couple years, I think. And this guy had like this magic kundalini ability where he could like touch you in your spine and you'd have this like Shakti thing and you'd have this energy run up and down your spine and and my friend Matt had this mystical experience with him. He went to this like workshop that his friend told him about where this like mystical guru guy was and he didn't really believe in it, but this guy came up behind him and like tapped him on his neck or his shoulder, on his head or something like that. And he had this profound like Kundalini awakening experience and it was so profound to him and it was so life-changing that it changed his life forever. Now what happened is he went home and his whole entire life fell apart. He didn't understand it. Friends, relationships, he lost his job, he broke up with his girlfriend. Like all this crazy shit happened. He couldn't understand it. He went back to that same guy like 2 or 3 like weeks later and the guy told him there was an activation that happened within you and everything that was no longer serving was being shed, was being purged out so that something new can be brought in. Literally it was undoing He explained to him it was undoing a lot of the karma and the past ties and attachments that he had. And as it let it go, he became free. And that put, set him on his path. But that experience to me is very interesting because I'm sure it seems scary to let go of certain things, to let go of different attachments. It even reminds me of plant medicine. I did plant medicine a couple of weeks ago actually in Costa Rica. And when you do plant medicine like ayahuasca or, you know, different plant medicines, it brings up this energy within you that you then let go of like a lot. You let go of past patterns, you become aware of the shadow. I became aware of my own shadow. I realized I was falling into other people's frames and I, it's a lot of it's 'cause I have the lack of clarity of my own frame and it was a lot of me becoming aware of the shadow. But what I realized is since then my life has completely been reconstructing itself in so many ways. For example, I now have bought a house in Sedona. The house that I had before, I had with a friend of mine. I bought my own house in Sedona. Big change. I'm so excited about it though. Not only that, every little piece of this thing, because I keep letting go of the outcome, it is aligning perfectly. We did, for example, this deal for this house. By the way, Sedona houses are almost impossible to find right now because the market's so hot in Sedona because everyone's moving from California to Arizona and states like that. So I found this house and one day, literally one day, I went to Sedona. I saw the house. I went to Sedona from Vegas, bought the house the same day. They accepted the offer the next day. We did a 20-day close because I want to get in the house sooner than later. And what happened is very interesting. The appraiser and the inspector normally in Sedona takes weeks because there's only a few of them. I got the perfect slot at the perfect time. It's like almost Sedona wants me to be there. And everything is happening so, so smooth, it's crazy. But in the beginning, I was attaching myself to the outcome and I had to keep catching myself. And the more I let go, the more these things just happen. I'm just trusting the universe. But it's all happening, I believe, as well, 'cause when I do plant medicine, it's deconstructing the old identity, the old control system. And one of the biggest lessons I always get on plant medicine is to let go. Let go of control. Control means you don't trust the universe. Control means you're infusing resistance. Control means you're being attached. And if you let go, you then become free. Your energy is magnetic. People can feel that on you. The universe wants to give you things because you are more energetically free, whereas the attachment is creating the resistance. So remember, when it comes to this, if you make things an end of itself, you are then not attached. I'm making this episode with you right now because this is an end of itself. I wanna make this episode. I enjoy the process of making this episode. Same thing, if I'm doing things every day because I need to make money so that I can do this thing in the future, then I'm externalizing happiness. And for a long time, I was doing things to get somewhere else. I lived in the future all the time for like 2, 3 years. And I saw the shadow of that, like, oh, once you get to 100,000 on YouTube, then you can relax and feel good. Then get into 100,000 subs on YouTube. Then it was 250, then after 250 was 500, then after 500 is 700, then after 700 is a million. And I was never quite happy because it's externally focused. It's a means, not an end. And the way you make things an end is you do it for the sake of doing it. You do it just because, not because of what it'll get you. That is when you start to become very free. That's when you start to feel 100% whole and complete. That's when you can start to do the shadow work to realize you're already whole and complete. You don't need these things to be happy. You don't need the relationship, you don't need the money, you don't need this, the job, you don't need it to be happy. But if you're doing it 'cause you enjoy it, that's a different thing altogether. But realize this, you being attached to a person, a label, an identity, an outcome, it's only actually causing you pain. You think it's gonna bring you pleasure. You think that being attached to it's gonna bring it to you. It's gonna repel it. You can have intention, that's one thing, but if you are attached to the outcome, then you are creating resistance. You are then only focusing on one or two flowers, not knowing that there's thousands of flowers. And in that resistance, you are blocking love, success, and abundance from coming into your life. But remember, this process is extraordinarily easy. It is so easy. It's just about making the choice. The problem is that for you to make the choice to let go of a person, to let go of an outcome, to let go of an identity, of a belief, the reason you haven't let go of it is because you believe if you do, you won't get it. Or you believe that if you let go of it, you don't realize there's a payoff there to you remaining attached. That payoff could be angry at the past because then you feel this, it justifies why things happen the way it did. You could be attached because of your necessity to be right. That person did that to me. Yes, well, maybe they did that to you, but maybe if you forgave them, you'd let go of that energy. But you wanna be right. You see, we wanna be right at the expense of our own level of happiness. And the thing is, letting go is extraordinarily easy. Realize that you being attached to trying to control someone else is the reason they are putting up a wall. When you realize that, you start to associate pain with controlling and manipulating. You're good already. When you're good already, you have a very magnetic energy. People feel that off of you, and guess what? People are more likely to be attracted to you. When you don't care what people think, guess what? You're being your most authentic self, and you're very powerful. So letting go is extraordinarily easy. The only thing that is difficult is you haven't made the choice to let go because you've based that in a false premise that if you let go, you won't get, or that if you, the negative payoff thing I was talking about. So the thing is, is to realize the truth. You have attachments. These attachments are actually bringing you pain. They're making you needy. They're making you put out desperate energy. They're making you manipulate your environment on the outside to try to manipulate your environment on the inside. When instead, if you make things an end of itself and you realize that the universe is always giving you what you need, You can begin to trust the universe more. You can then allow these things to come to you because you're in a more abundant state. Letting go is extraordinarily easy. The only thing that is hard is you haven't made the choice to let go yet because you're convinced that if you do let go, you're not going to get what you want. If you do let go, then you're going to, uh, you're going to, you're, you're giving up on this thing when in actuality, if you let go, that is the ultimate sign of abundance and you're then allowing it to come into your life easier than ever. You let go to let in. That's just the way this reality works. And when you do let go, you will feel more free. You will feel more whole and complete already. You'll feel happiness on the inside and you will have such magnetic energy that you won't be able to— I literally, I was talking to my friend Victor yesterday. I feel like there's so many good things coming into my life that it's hard. It's difficult because it's like I have to say no to certain things and it's almost overwhelming and overstimulating. I just wanna take a breath. It's a very good problem to have, but I'm just letting go of even trying to control that. And as I let go, I notice I feel more and more powerful and I feel more and more energized by this whole entire process. And by the way, this is 90% of raising your vibration is letting go. That's it. When you let go, you begin to become free. And if you wanna calibrate your vibration, I don't know if you've done this yet, but you go to whatsmyvibration.com, you can calibrate your vibration, see where you lie on that scale of consciousness, and I'll show you how to get to the next level with one meditation that you listen to. And when you listen to that over 21 days, it's gonna completely transform your life. So that's whatsmyvibration.com. I'll click it in the link of the below. Also, if you want to binge more episodes on this, on YouTube, you'll see that if you go on YouTube and you type in, there's a playlist that I'll link below. But there's also a playlist that's the magic of letting go or the magic of detachment. Listen to that playlist. It'll get you in this, this, this mindset of letting go and how powerful it is. And I think that it'll help you to completely transform your life. So listen to that whole playlist, listen to that meditation and calibrate your vibration. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy this video and as always, I'll talk to you guys in the next one. Peace, much love, and namaste.










