Never Be Needy Again By Doing This One Thing

In this video, I'm gonna show you how to never be needy again. I'm gonna share with you what I have a coach that I pay quite a bit of money, $1,500 a month, shadow integration coach. I'm gonna share with you what I have learned from him that has completely transformed my life. Over the last 6 months, I've had people tell me that they watch my old videos and they hardly recognize me from who I was to who I am now. And I'm gonna share with you what that transformation is, what the practice is, the exercise you can do is that will completely transform your entire life if you do it for a period of time. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm gonna be showing you how to never be needy again and how to ditch codependent behaviors. If you are somebody that feels like maybe you, are craving validation, or like you fall into other people's frame. I have an analogy for you that I'm gonna explain to you in a second that I think will clear a lot of this up. But realize that it is rooted and it comes from a point in your past when you were a kid where you craved and you needed something. Maybe that need wasn't met. And what happens is now you are going and looking for it on the outside somewhere, not knowing that what you need is already on the inside. Now, what happens is when people become needy, they are craving something from the outside. And the challenge with that is that then because they are needy, they are normally repelling other people. So if you are needy in love, you'll find that you might really like someone, then really hope they text you back, and then really hope things go a certain way. They'll feel that neediness off of you, and a lot of times it then repels them. Now, what this really is, is being needy and being codependent is being attached attached. You are attached to something on the outside and to a belief that says that unless I have this thing on the outside, then I'm not complete already. So it is rooted in a fundamental belief that says I need something out there to feel a certain way in here. I'm going to share with you my story through this process as well and how it completely transformed. But first, let's realize that it comes from that of a childhood experience. Now let's imagine like this. When we're kids, we're dependent. We're dependent on our parents. Now what happens is many times, let's say this is you, this is mom, this is dad. Let's say when mom, when you were a kid, imagine your mom or your dad came over the crib and it was like, huh, hey, like that, right? It's like all these expressive faces. Now imagine one day you were there and your mom or dad came up, but there was no emotion on their face. Imagine that the, oh, and like all that little baby goo-goo stuff, imagine that went away. And then all of a sudden you start wondering like, I'm not getting attention, I'm not having my needs met. And then what a lot of times happen is as the baby grows up, it then says, if I'm different, maybe I can get that love or that approval or that attention. So a lot of times then that person will seek based on the belief that there's something wrong with me. There's a belief that says there's something wrong with me. I need something on the outside in order for me to feel 100% worthy, whole, and complete, or in order for me to be enough. So it's a fundamental belief system that simply hasn't been challenged since being a kid. Now, here is the key. What'll happen, and this is what happened with me, Because I felt that way when I was a kid, I believe that what happened, I mean, what happened eventually is I had an abusive ex-stepmom in my life. You guys have heard my story, from 7 to 16 years old. And she was very manipulative, abusive, controlling. Now imagine that from 7 to 15, I in a way was in someone else's frame. So I had somebody else that had a strong frame and then I was in that frame. And in order for me to be worthy, I had to do all these things right. I was always in trouble for stuff. My dad divorced her when I was 15 years old. All of a sudden I had all this freedom again. We connected with our real mom, which is awesome 'cause we were brainwashed to not being allowed to be around her 'cause we got punished anytime we came back. But once my dad divorced her, all of a sudden there was a part of me that did not feel safe in my own frame. This would feel scary to me to be in my own frame. So what I would find myself doing is finding other people that I could go around that I could then be in their frame with. So imagine it like this, and I would go, oh, this is more safe. And then I would feel needy, like I needed to be in other people's frame. I needed to be in other people's carton. And then that was where I started realizing or feeling like I wasn't all right in my own carton. So I wasn't in my own frame. Now, for a long time, I dealt with this kind of energy, and I, realized since recently that doing the inner child work and basically going and healing my own inner child and giving myself the validation and the approval that I craved growing up, by doing that, I have completely transformed my own life. Now, even just as according to a couple months ago, what has happened is I've realized that a lot of what happens with a lot of spiritual people especially is they go through a spiritual awakening. In this spiritual awakening, What happens is they become aware of all these intuitive things, but a lot of times what happens is there's an almost escape from the bottom 3 chakras. Imagine that the bottom 3 chakras represent more of our groundedness inside of our body. Imagine they represent survival, they represent relationships, willpower, 'cause that's what the first 3 chakras mean. What happens is a lot of people that went through trauma growing up, they then are mainly in their top 2, 3 chakras. They are super intuitive. They can tune into everybody. And the challenge with this is when you feel needy and codependent, it's because you're super sensitive to other people. The reason you're super sensitive to other people is because this feels way more safe being in the carton with other people because it's what you're used to and you may be seeking the validation and approval of other people and that may feel safe to you or even other people controlling you. This is still scary to you to be in your own carton. Now, to be in your own carton, this is the life-changing stuff that I wanna share with you in this video that I've been doing is basically what it is is there is a lack of self. When you feel needy or codependent, what is happening is you are projecting your energy towards other people thinking you need their approval or their validation or support and instead of giving yourself that support, you give it away. And then you start having an identity that the more I give, the more I am worthy. Instead of feeling safe inside of your own self, a lot of times codependent and needy people, they're afraid of abandonment because they may have felt emotionally abandoned growing up or they may have had a parent actually physically abandoned them. But because they have that kind of mentality and they're afraid of being abandoned, what happens is they then abandon themselves. I'm gonna say that again. They abandon themselves at the expense of trying to make everybody else happy, of trying to, because then if they can make other people happy, then they will get that love, validation, and support. So the key to this video, and I'm gonna share with you that meditation practice now that has completely transformed my life, it is simply this. So let me put this down right here. I'm kind of glowing like an avatar, so maybe I'll go over here. Here's the meditation practice that I'm gonna be sharing with you that will heal, help you not be needy, not be codependent ever again. And it's a simple practice that if you do consistently, I promise you it will transform your life. I've given this to some other people. There's a guy that comes to my house that works on my house. He's like a handyman and he's a traditional nice guy. It reminds me a lot of my dad. And a nice guy, by the way, normally is codependent, is needy, and it's not authentic really. It's a way of let me be nice and ease tension so that I can get what I need. And I found that he, I can tell, is just so tired of giving himself up to everybody. He even has like situations with his ex-wife where he still has feelings for her, but it's like, it's just super interesting for me to see because I can tell that he's dealing with this pattern and I gave him the same spiel and I can tell It's completely changed his life. So here's what you do. Now, what there is is there's a lack of self, there's a lack of comfort from being inside of your own body, and there is really almost a confusion as to who you are and to who everyone else is. The boundary has been lost, and then it's been seeked for. And it's like, if I can get the approval of this woman or of this guy or whatever it is, then I'll feel worthy, whole, and complete. Or if I could be in someone else's frame, that just feels safe. So the key to not being codependent and needy is detachment. It's detachment. It is realizing there's an attachment to the outside. It's like I'm looking at this candle flame right now and I'm like, I am the flame. I need to be like the flame. I am the flame. There is no difference between me and this flame. I am all one consciousness. Now I know with spirituality, we all wanna be connected. We are all connected. That is true. But at the same time, what happens is when we're so spiritual and we're so all connected, a lot of times we forget who we are as an individual, as the self. And that's where empaths, people pleasers, nice guys, codependents, and needy people, that's their fault. What I mean by fault is they don't realize that there is a separation there. And that's why they feel like it's hard for them to set boundaries and they always get moved in different ways. So the key to this is realizing that in this practice, I have a shadow work integration coach that I literally pay $1,500 a month. And we do, like, I'm just saying that 'cause like the information I'm giving you is valuable. It really works. And I just, I really encourage you to try this. So this is what you do. It's a practice called Zazen. Zazen, it's that everything is, there's duality in the world and becoming aware of almost the paradox of life. So there's subject and object. Okay, object, subject. Now what happens is when you are an empath or a people pleaser or a needy codependent person, you forget the separation. You think that's me, somebody needs something from me, I need to look for it over there, or I need to get your validation of this candle, right? Now, basically what has happened is subject, object. Everything is either subject or object. There's either self or other. Now what happens is, yes, we're all connected, we're all one consciousness, but you don't need to hear that. Who needs to hear that right now are narcissists, because narcissists are like me, me, me, me, me, me. You right now as codependent or needer are like you, you, you, you, you, you, you. So what you do is you do a simple meditation where what you do is on the in-breath, you breathe in. As you do, you feel the energy inside of your body. And what you do is you stare very intently at the flame. And as you do, you feel the separation between you and the flame, between you and the candle. You feel the separation, not the connection, not the unity oneness stuff. You feel the separation. And what you do is as you feel the separation, on the in-breath, you put the awareness in your body, you feel that separation. On the out-breath, you can then kind of relax your peripheral. You can like relax and kind of like let your gaze soften a little bit. Now what this does is this is a way of integrating your energy. And what you wanna do is be more inside of your body. You wanna feel the self. You want to feel the barrier between you and the flame, between you and the walls, between you and other people. You can even bring different people to mind. Think of your mom, your dad, and then as you do this meditation with them, you're separating your energy so that you're not taking on their patterns. Do this with a girlfriend or boyfriend and realize that the more you're in your own individual frame, a lot of times the more attractive you are. The more, and here's the thing too, being in your frame and being in your body are the same thing. If you wanna be more of a leader, bring the energy more inside of your body. That's what I've been doing in my business. I have taken a completely new perspective, a new energy. I'm growing my team, I'm expanding, I'm growing this app. I'm doing so many things right now that I wasn't doing before because I wasn't really in my body before. I felt like a whim of, off to other people. And even in relationships, I'd be dating someone, I would like give myself up so much to them instead of making myself happy. That's what the codependent, the needy person has forgotten. They've abandoned themselves. Start valuing authenticity and being safe in your body over that of giving to other people and getting validation from other people. You start thinking about that too, that will help. But the simple meditation practice is on the in-breath, focusing very intently on the flame, feeling the separation between you and the flame, feeling inside of your own body. On the out-breath, relaxing that and kind of feeling at one with everything. And as you do this for 5 minutes a day, it will begin to profoundly profoundly change your life. You will begin— even when I'm going out to the grocery store, I can feel the separation between me and other people. Usually I would try to like say hi to people, please people. Like, it goes beyond just being a nice person because it's almost like you're trying to like gain validation. Now what I do is I'm in my own body and I'm just myself. What is authentic in this moment? Feeling the separation between me and other people actually makes people more attracted to my energy. It is craziest thing, but when you're in your own frame and that's where the energy is, it changes absolutely everything. So if you want to see another video like this or want me to elaborate more or to make a meditation on this exact thing that you can just easily listen to, like this video and hit the comment section and let me know. And if you do, I shall focus on something like that. That's something you guys are interested in. So with that being said, Subscribe to the channel if you haven't already. I'll be making more videos on this, more videos just in general on using metaphors and stuff like that. Hope it helps. Other than that, I'll talk to you on the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.