Never Be NEEDY Again by Watching This Video (The Cure)

One of the most attractive qualities you can possibly have is to be not needy. You could say the degree to which you are attractive is the degree to which you are not needy. And if you are needy, then the degree to which you are needy is the degree to which you put off other people. So when we understand the mechanism of neediness and we heal it, that's when we then become more attractive and we become more self-validating and we aren't then looking to the outside for validation. So in this video, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna share with you the curse of neediness, how to cure it, how to never be needy again, and how that will make you way, way more attractive. These are things that completely transformed my life and I believe they will change yours too. As well. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I want to share with you the most important thing I've learned when it comes to attraction and when it comes to energy dynamics in general. And it has to do with something that is called the locus of control. The locus of control is what we use to control different aspects of our life. And the challenge is that if our locus of control is external, meaning we rely on the outside to get our needs met, then what we end up doing is we end up developing a very needy energy dynamic. Think of this energy dynamic kind of like from the movie Anchorman: Sex Panther. There's a guy, Paul Rudd, in that movie, He's like, you gotta wear this cologne called Sex Panther. All the ladies be coming at you when you wear it. And he puts on this Sex Panther, which has like the piss of a panther and like all this crazy stuff in it. And he wears it thinking it's attractive. He thinks it's gonna get him what he wants, which what he wants is like, you know, ladies that wanna sleep with him. He puts on this cologne, he goes out and people are like, what the hell? That smells like piss. Want him to get away, it's repelling. Well, in the same way, that's what neediness is. Neediness is Sex Panther. You think that neediness is gonna get you what you want because then you can control other people. You can control what they think about you. You can control and get validation, but in actuality, it is completely repelling them. Now, what if I told you that your natural pheromones and you being yourself would attract people if you would just be in your own frame, be in your own body? That's a metaphor. Also, maybe there's somewhat truth in it, but the degree to which you can be you and in your own container, you can be embodied, is going to be the degree to which you release these pheromones that then attract people. Now, in a way, maybe there's truth to pheromones. I'm using it as a metaphor. The authentic version of you is what's attractive. It's just that many people aren't being themselves because their locus of control is on controlling the outer environment. It was like that for me for a long time. I was in relationship and dynamics where I would try to control what people thought of me. This had me also attracting people that were also wanting significance by being with me. And I remember I have friends that were like this, that were like, they liked that almost like sense of significance from having me around in their frame. And what would then happen is I was getting their validation. So I was getting my needs met and they were feeling more validated by me being in their frame. This like unhealthy relationship type thing. So once I became aware of this and once I started self-validating myself and I started to change my value system, this really is the key. If you're needy, then what's happening is there's a codependent pattern there that most likely stems from childhood. There were times in childhood where you wanted your needs met and you had to tune to the external to get your needs met. Maybe you had to tune to your parents or tune to their emotions. And what happens is you then were looking for their validation. Maybe they didn't give it to you. I know that I felt that in many ways because I felt like I had emotionally unavailable parents doing the best they could. But in that way, I then developed a belief that I'm not worthy, I'm not enough. And it became normal for me to try to fix people, to try to get them to love me. I would find people and attract people that I needed to fix, that I felt I needed to fix. And then I would be completely dependent on their validation, their sense of them coming around. And I didn't realize that I was literally addicted to that pattern. Neediness is an addiction. You're addicted to needing validation from other people. And the idea is that if someone can give you validation, then you'll finally be enough. But it's built on a false premise. It's built on a belief that says you're not good enough already and that you need validation from other people. Because you haven't given yourself the validation. This is key. What I had to do is I had to let go of the neediness and the old codependent behaviors and really the old version of me, which let go of the blocks of like people taking advantage of me, me not being in my body, in my own frame. I had to let that go and I had to let in a version of me that had a higher value system, that valued authenticity over validation. That valued being raw, even though sometimes that meant I was more polarizing. I had to let go and then wire in a completely new reality. Now, something that this inspired me to do is letting go of this codependent behavior and understanding how to be magnetic. There's something that's gonna be starting on July 1st to July 21st. It's a 21-day magnetic love challenge for raising your vibration and becoming magnetic from the inside out, for letting go of these codependent behaviors, letting go of unworthiness, letting go of blocks that you might have for love, letting go of intimacy blocks, the childhood trauma, and wiring in a brand new version of you that is higher vibrational, where it is natural for you to have love as a reflection or be in deep relationships or whatever it is. So if you're in a relationship and you want to go deeper and you want to heal your childhood trauma, or you're single and you want to attract love in, or just feel that self-love within yourself, then click the link below and go to aarondoughty.com/love because we're gonna be going through 21 days of transformation, letting go of the old to wire in the new. This is a process we're gonna be going through. And if you guys join right meow, you get 2 bonuses as well. You'll click there, you'll see what's involved. One is a bonus with my shadow work integration coach, which I've never shared him before, but he's gonna be doing a live call on masculine and feminine polarity. How to heal and take down the masculine or feminine shield within yourself so that you can embody that polarity and how to really embody your energy too. So anyways, I'm excited about that. But the biggest transformation I've had this year is letting go of codependent behaviors that I realized I had because I was trying to either fix other people or I wanted validation from other people. And it was realizing, you know, my dad is like the traditional nice guy. So I had to shed that pattern. I had to become more authentically me. The more and the degree to which I could go within my own body and I could see what do I wanna do and I could start drawing source from within was the degree to which I was in and had that magnetic energy where literally my whole entire reality changed. And it really also, a lot of this is from the fear of abandonment. If we're afraid of being abandoned and people aren't going to either they emotionally abandoned us or physically abandoned us when we were kids. If we're afraid of that abandonment, then what happens is we're changing our center of gravity to mold to other people, trying to get validation or approval or support. And the challenge with that is that then because we are externally focused on trying to change the outside, it's like our sense of gravity is so weak that we're constantly feeling not enough. Really what this is is we have a value system that's rooted in a belief that we're not enough and we value people's approval over our own authenticity. And the key to this for me was realizing and becoming aware first off of my own inauthenticity. Even like the nice guy pattern that came from my dad is realizing that being the nice guy is inauthentic. Being a people pleaser is inauthentic. It is trying to literally exchange, it's a needy vampire energy that's trying to exchange being nice for approval. And when I started giving myself my own approval, it became way more dangerous because I was not at the whims of other people's approval. I started having my locus of control being from the inside. I started instead, which means I started valuing myself and I started validating myself and I started knowing that I could choose. I'm not at the victim of anything else. Maybe because I was a victim in my childhood, I believed that I was at the whims of everything else. That changed everything. Neediness is a disease. Neediness is, I mean, not literally a disease, but neediness is like a drug. And the way that you cure this drug is you start going within for what you're looking for. You start realizing a chunk of you is not outside of yourself. It's not in other people. The validation is something you can give yourself. The emotional abandonment that you experienced as a kid or the physical abandonment you experienced as a kid where you decided that you had to tune to the outside to get your needs met, you can realize that you abandoned yourself in that process, yourself being in your body. And the key to this is realizing what do you want? Who are you? What are you passionate about? What is authentic for you in this moment? As you start asking that question, you start embodying more of your own energy That changes everything. So that really is the key to this. And right now when you join also that 21-day challenge, there's also gonna be the Frame Technique in there. The Frame Technique is a workshop on bringing the awareness inside of your body and understanding that then as you embody that energy, you don't need anything on the outside. You're more in the container of your own body. So like I said, go to aarondoughty.com/love if you wanna join. Be thousands of us going through this process. I'm super excited. Other than that, like this video if you liked it. If you want me to do another video on neediness, codependent energy, and how to heal it, hit the like button below and comment. Let me know if you're in on the 21-day challenge. Comment below saying, I'm in. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy this video. And as always, peace, love, and namaste.