Non-Neediness: The Secret to Having Love Chase YOU

The ratio of how not needy you are will have a direct impact of how attractive you are. So the more non-neediness you can have and the more you can let go of needing anything, the more attractive you are, the more you will have love chasing you. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness and raise their vibration. By making spirituality practical and relatable. I know it got a little bit longer, but we're getting used to it, okay? If you've been watching my videos for a while. So today's video is gonna show literally how you can have money and love chase you, and it has to do with understanding the energy dynamics of being what is called not needy. And imagine it, anytime you've really wanted something, you felt like you may have needed it. And then by needing it, what happens is it puts you into a scarcity mindset. And in that scarcity mindset, guess what happens? Your body language gets all tense. People can see also that you have an end in mind. You are doing things as a means to an end. And what non-neediness is, is it is the most unattractive thing you can have because what non-neediness signals is that you aren't abundant. You aren't secure. Now this will work for both men watching this and a woman. Either way and any type of orientation as well. It has to do with just this general basis. Now in general, a lot of, a lot of, I'd say it's more common for men to be needy than women. And a lot of that is, is because women mostly will get more attention and have more options, will be in more abundance than men will. However, this is something that I've learned from experience just in general. The more that I let go of outcome, the more that I'm just myself, And the more that I'm able to not need anything, the more things just come at me, whether that be love, whether that be money, whether that be whatever. And I've experienced this when it comes to even growing on YouTube, believe it or not. The more I was obsessing over, you know, growing and having these like external goals and doing things for a means to an end, the more resistance I would create. But the funny thing was, the more I let go, the more results actually came. It's a huge paradox. I let go of caring what people think. Guess what? More abundance came. When it comes to love, I can look at almost every relationship I've had, and if I have placed them on a pedestal and wanted anything from them, then normally that is when the attraction stopped, or the level, that dynamic at least, of attraction stopped. And anytime that I tipped the scales the other way and I was like not needy and I was good either way and I was in my, you know, a masculine person or just, I guess masculine energy is about being focused and centered and grounded in certain values and principles and having boundaries as well. And one of the things that happens, especially people on a spiritual path, is they may in a way get rid of those. And a lot of that may be some type of people pleasing. But I'm telling you, it's not too late for you to take your power back. This is something that you can learn. This is something that you can embody, and you don't have to continue to be needy all because maybe you have been in the past. So now you're wondering, well, how do I not be needy? How do I have non-neediness? Well, it comes from understanding the basis of who you are and how you go about things. So this may require a little bit of inner work. But understand this, say we're right here and this is like a glass of water, and I use that as an analogy, but imagine that this glass of water, in a way, what we may be saying is I lack approval, validation, worthiness, or love. These are things mostly we want in love, in relationship. And think about it, anything we want is because we will feel better in the relation to it. So if we say, I want a relationship, it's like, well, what do you really want? What you really want is you probably want compassion, connection. You maybe do want that validation or approval, but here is the crazy thing. When we look in other people for these things, we're assuming that these things don't already exist inside of us. So one of the things with non-neediness, one of the reasons people are non— that are needy, let's go that direction. One of the main reasons people are needy is because they are under a false presumption that approval, validation, worthiness, and love exists in someone else's cup. And if I could just get that approval, validation, worthiness, or love, then I'll feel worthy, then I can have all of these things. But here's the thing, those things already exist inside of you. And if you were to give yourself these emotions, then guess what would happen? You would be not needy. So if you're a people pleaser, I was a people pleaser for a long time. If you look to a lot of the way that somebody grew up, you can a lot of times tell why someone may be a people pleaser. For example, I had an ex-stepmom that was very controlling. So between 7 and 15 years old when she was in my life before my dad divorced her when I was 15, I was doing things to please her because she had such high standards. And if I didn't live up to that, I didn't feel worthy. So even after she left my life at 15, I kept attracting people in my life to attract back, to reflect back that energy dynamic. And I would try to make other people happy because like the way I had to try to make my ex-stepmom happy. Now here's the thing about this though, when we're talking about this whole process, you wanna know what changed when I became not needy and not a people pleaser anymore? When I started to give myself these emotions, when I started to approve of myself, when I started to feel my own worthiness, when I changed the meaning that I was giving things. So a lot of what this has to do, it's not changing necessarily what you do, but it's changing how and why you do it. When we talk about not neediness, it is from understanding that what has happened is there's a conditioned way of being, of a conditioned way of seeking something outside, not knowing that thing is inside. And if every time you start to do that, you remind yourself, you'll say, this is ridiculous, this is inside of me, then what you realize is the energy dynamic begins to change. The more not needy you are, the more attractive you are. That's just the way it works. And one of the ways you become not needy is by understanding your own value and also developing a lifestyle that is because you want to do it, of who you prefer to be. Most people are conditioned to be acting and reacting, not even acting, reacting to their environment. They may want to go do and do something for a living, but they're holding themselves back because their dad or mom wanted them to go to college and do this certain degree, and they're not even passionate about it. But understand this, when you start doing what you love, you will become more attractive. When you start getting to your core and your core principles, you will be attractive. This is what it does, this is what it means as well. Not being afraid of being rejected. Understanding that the more you are yourself, and if people reject you, then what's happening is you're making your life easier because that person's not gonna like you anyways, the real you. That's something to realize as well. I realize in certain aspects, my own self, I remember I was talking about this recently, in a podcast that I did. And back when I was like 12 or 13 years old, I had an experience where one of the first girls I ever asked out was 18 years old. It was at this parks and rec place and she was way older than me. Thought she was hot. So I was like, yo, I was like, yo, baby girl. It was actually, there was this dance at the end of this like park and rec thing. There was this dance we were doing and I was just old enough to go in. You had to be like 12 or 13 years old. I was like right there. I go in, I ask this 18-year-old to dance. She goes, "Haha, let me," and she grabs me some other chick that I didn't wanna dance with. And she's like, "Haha," and it was like this, it was this feeling of rejection. And I remembered that even years later, and I used to find myself, if I went to go talk to someone I was attracted to, I'd feel this big block, and I really wanted their approval, and I wanted them to like me, and I was afraid of that rejection. But here is the thing, when it comes to being attractive, it means being in, it's being okay with taking risks And it's also holding your frame, holding your frame and being who you prefer to be, having your values, doing things because it's who you are. So that is the key to this process of being not needy. It is understanding that these all exist inside of you— approval, validation, worthiness, and love. And the only reason we look for it in other people is because we don't believe it's already in our cup. But the thing we must learn to do is we must learn how to feel these emotions now. We must learn to have our own, you know, this not neediness isn't just a relationship issue, not neediness or attracting love issue. Not neediness is, non-neediness is about understanding that if you want to attract what you want in life, you've gotta develop this non-neediness, which means You are in your frame. You're not doing things to get you somewhere else. You're doing things because it's who you are. This is also where we get to identity. How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as like a chump or something? Like, oh, I'm just really, I really, really want the text message back. Or like, I'm gonna refresh my Wi-Fi to see if this person has texted me back. Maybe if I refresh it, maybe that I'll see that message come in. I was on a podcast recently and Her name is Rebecca. She, she told me that an example, like people, that's a, that's a thing, I guess. Check the Wi-Fi, see if they, if they texted. Now I'm saying I've never been like that. I'm just saying that when it comes to this process, what you want to realize is, do you have a vision for your life? And are you the star of your own movie? If you're the star of your own movie, you don't need, you don't need other people's validation. Yes, it'd be nice to have some cameos in your movie. But you're not just trying to become a part of everyone else's movie. You are the star. You're the star, honey. Be the star you meant to be. And the star doesn't need anything else unless it's before their transformation in the movie, and that's what the movie's about. Then maybe. But the key to not neediness is giving yourself all of these emotions by realizing they already exist inside of you. And anytime you say, I want, you're saying, I don't have. I need means I don't have. The key to this is understanding the vision for your life. You being the star of your own movie, you being rooted in your core principles, your core values, understanding what you want. If you just get clear as to your vision and are you living your purpose, are you doing what you love? And as you start to take risks with these things as well, you start to develop a more attractive energy. You start, I call it like lifestyle design. You start to design a lifestyle that you love, that you're passionate about. And think about it, when you're talking to someone else, maybe somebody that you're attracted to, do you need them to laugh at your jokes? Or are you saying the jokes because you find them funny? You know, there's this, there's this, this fine line where you learn to be and to fill up your own cup, which means also that you don't need someone else's approval because you give yourself that approval, but also you enjoy your own company. You have fun with yourself. You have fun with someone else and you don't see yourself better. This isn't about being narcissistic and seeing yourself better than anyone, but you see, or you just, you know, and have that confidence within you that you can give yourself these emotions and have fun. So this also has to do with just understanding that if you're saying things to get a certain result, if you're saying the pickup line to get the person to be a certain way, then guess what's happening? You are doing a means to an end. People can feel it, especially women, very sensitive, or people that have more feminine energy, very sensitive to these things. The key to this is understanding this dynamic. Are you doing things to get somewhere else or are you doing things because it's who you are? Are you making someone laugh because you want them to like you or are you making someone laugh because you're making yourself laugh and you find yourself funny? You see what I mean? There's a diff— it's not what changes here. It's not the what that changes, it's how and it's why. And if you want to develop energy where love chases you, the one thing you must do is you must develop non-neediness because you realize that validation, approval, worthiness, and love already exists inside of you. You don't need it from someone else. And one of the best ways you do this is by getting in the core principles and values of who you are and you start to fill your own cup and you don't say things because you want other people to like you, you say things because you like you, you say things because you're in your values, not a means to an end. You know, like when, if, if I was watching a video about this last night, if people make YouTube videos because they want to make money or they want to become full-time YouTubers, a lot of times it doesn't happen because they're doing it to a means to an end. But if you make YouTube videos because it's who you are and you want to express yourself, and because you feel like this is your passion, then guess what? It has a much more magnetic energy. That's why I got on YouTube. That's almost everybody else that's grown that's done this has done it because the passion comes first. So are you developing gravity in your life? Are you developing a lifestyle that you love? And if you don't love your life, how can you expect anyone else to love your life? How can you expect anyone else to be a— want to be around that energy? Energy is contagious. So one of the most attractive things you can do is to develop gravity in your own life where you are passionate about your own life, where you don't need approval, validation, worthiness, or love because it already exists inside of you. And when you have this mentality and you have this sense of self-worth and you say things not because it's a means to an end, but you say things because you enjoy it, it's an end of itself, you'll find that your life becomes magical. So non-neediness is the key to you attracting what you want and giving yourself that love. There's a meditation on YouTube I got. You want to know what that meditation is? The most powerful meditation for attracting love. It's got over 2 million views. I don't say that to brag. I just say it so you know that a lot of it works. Read the comments to see what's possible. So many people have attracted love using it. You want to know why? Because it allows you to feel that love on the inside already. That's why. And then as you get into that state, you'll see synchronicity around you begin to, to get into change. So like I said, check out that video, listen over 21 days, watch how your life begins to change. Subscribe if you haven't already because I got a lot more cool videos coming. Other than that, as always, I hope you enjoyed this video. Peace, much love, and namaste.