Once you're okay either way, you'll get everything you want
In this motivational talk, Aaron Doughty explains that the key to attracting what you want is to adopt a state of non‑attachment and to be "good either way" with outcomes. He argues that the less agenda and resistance you have, the more magnetic your energy becomes, drawing people and opportunities toward you. Using personal anecdotes—from selling shoes at Barney’s, to creating over 2,000 YouTube videos, to running live events and challenges—he illustrates how shifting from outcome‑focused effort to playful, present‑moment connection improves results. Doughty critiques the over‑optimization of manifestation and content strategies, emphasizing that authentic fun, presence, and serving others generate higher‑vibe energy. He introduces the concept of a "second awakening," where after the initial spiritual realization one moves beyond patterns of self‑improvement toward pure presence and acceptance. He ties these ideas to his own business offerings, especially the Shift Academy and its S.H.I.F.T. process, positioning them as tools for people to embody magnetic energy and experience greater freedom.
Chapters
The less agenda you have, the more magnetic you are. The less attached to outcome you are, the more magnetic you are. The less serious the outcome of how things happen are, the lighter you are and the more life flows to you. So understand that this vibration that I'm speaking about right now may be the missing key to you experiencing a whole new reality with more ease, with more lightness, and honestly, a lot more fun. Because the more fun you have, the more people gravitate to you. And the challenge is that when it's really important that things happen a certain way, or it's really important that someone texts you back, If it's really important, it's really resistant. And the thing to understand about your energy is when you get to the energy that you are good either way with how things happen on the outcome, that's when you are actually free. I remember when I first learned about this, it was when I was selling women's shoes at Barney's New York. I noticed that if I went into work and my energy was, I wasn't good either way because I needed to sell $5,000 of shoes for me to make $4,000, $5,000, $400 to $500. Every customer I helped then became a means to my end. Think about this for a minute. It's like people subconsciously I was manipulating other people to make my needs, to meet my needs. Not consciously. I wasn't like, I'm a manipulative person. I never saw myself that way. But when every person I would help, I would wonder, are they gonna buy something from me or are they wasting my time? Resistant energy. It's also very serious because whether they bought anything or not, they were wasting my time. It was all about me. All the energy was on me. And what happens is when you become aware that you can have an intention that's more expansive, that's when you'll notice that there's a completely new level of freedom in your life. So when I would go into work, because I sold women's shoes and it was commission, I could see every day if I went into work with this energy and this mindset, this was the result. If I went into work with this energy and this mindset, this is the result. When I would go in attached to outcome, every customer was a means to an end, resistance. I would not do that well. When I went into work with the intention of connecting to people, with having more fun, with being more playful, with expressing my true self, with adding value and making it about them, that was when the energy would move towards me. I believe we live in a reality where we are all connected and life flows to people that embody more life. When you are having fun and you are focused on connection and you are focused on adding value, life is flowing through you and people can feel that. And guess what? People want to surround themselves with you because of the energy that you're embodying. So understand that when you get to an energy of being good either way, it's an energy of understanding that it's not your job to manage the outcome of how things happen. Your job is to get into the energy. Like when I'm making a video that I'm passionate about, that I'm having fun making. Not only do I have fun making it, which is kind of selfish if you think about it, but other people enjoy consuming it because of the energy that's under the surface. One thing I've always understood about the content I make, because I've been making content for 8 years on YouTube, I have over 2,000 YouTube videos and I've made daily videos for years. People aren't necessarily just following me because of an idea that I share. I share the same thing in different ways over and over again. But what people really connect to is they connect to my energy. There's something about the energy that they're like, oh, this resonates with me. And the beautiful thing is the more I can get out of my own way and have fun and focus on the people that I'm helping and focus on connecting and expressing, it feels better and it gets better results. It's funny how it works, but I can't be the reason I'm doing it is to get the result, which is kind of an interesting perspective, isn't it? So having more fun and letting it be something where you're good either way is really about also understanding that if you are making it your job to control the outcome, there is a desire for a certain outcome and resistance to another outcome. That's called aversion. So there's attachment and aversion. Attachment is something you want, as aversion is something you don't want. What you wanna become aware of is even if you have an aversion, you're like, I don't want this. I don't want people to reject me. I don't want people not to buy. I don't want people to leave a negative comment. If there's a, that's still attachment by the way. It's attachment to this. It's like you could say it's not attachment because it's like an avoidance of attachment, but it's still an attachment to an outcome. When you're really free, it's when you can realize that you are at the cause in your reality and not the effect. Now, this doesn't mean that you are controlling your reality. I believe that's a lesser paradigm. Like when you go through awakening and you start like realizing there's a correlation between what you think and what you experience, there's then this pressure to not think negative thoughts because if you think negative thoughts, you're gonna manifest something bad. I remember back in 2012, '13, when I first learned this, I was, I'd meditate and I'm like, "Don't think negative thoughts." And then it was like a naughty part of myself would think negative thoughts and then I would feel resistant inside of myself. Eventually what I did is I learned how to observe my thoughts, how to be neutral with it. And then what would happen is as I was neutral with it, it's like less thoughts would be there and the less thoughts you think, the more present you feel. So it's like more of the divine comes through. And I believe that what is happening with us, the more we start to have more fun, it's like there's a greater energy at store for us because we are becoming a vessel to something greater than ourselves. So the pitfalls of manifestation are that if I wanna manifest something, I am the one doing it, I am the one creating. And I create my own reality. Well, when in fact, think about it, can you make a plant grow? Well, I could put it in this, in the sun, I can water it, I can put crystals on it, it will grow faster. Okay, but are you the one making it grow? I'd say God is what makes it grow. Its own DNA, its own essence makes it grow. You're setting up the conditions. So your job in life is to set up the conditions and the conditions you wanna set up to really create a breakthrough in your life. If you're listening to this video right now, here it is, is to focus more on your state of being, focus more on having fun with the process, focus more on following your excitement, Even here in my own life, something I've been really trying to dial in with my life and my business over the last year is finding out the way in which I help people. I have different ways I do that, whether it's live in-person events, it's these challenges that I run, or my coaching program/membership called the Shift Academy. These are all different things that I have and I've been really trying to dial in the vision, the message, all of these things, thinking that that's the key to the next level. And recently, something that I've, I always would tell myself that like for me to get to the next level, it's like a new, it's a new message, it's a new branding thing. And what I'm recognizing now more than ever is It's not that at all. It's my ability to show up in an energy that I'm so passionate about that I don't care what the outcome is. Just recently, you know, I'm in the middle of running something right now, this free thing showing people how to grow their business, and it's a company I've had for years. And in it, one of the things we do is we invite people into our program. And one of the things in it that comes with it is this live event, this VIP live event. And it is incredible how many people are excited for this live event. And a few weeks ago, I ran a live event in Sedona and it was so powerful. People were so transformed. There were so many testimonials. But in my mind, I'm like, I can't just make this the main thing I focus on because there's expenses with live events. And what I'm beginning to do now is realize that I love, there's two things in my business I love a lot. And I remember I had a business coach that I was talking to this about and I paid $5,000 for two hours with this guy. And I've actually gone to him a few times and he does this really powerful exercise where what we do is we go through our, I go through my business and I say on a scale of 1 to 5, can't pick 3, what am I most passionate about with this area of my life, this area of my life, this area of my business? And always, whenever I do this exercise, when I run a 5 to 7 to 21-day challenge, it's like a 4 or a 5. I love watching people transform live in a group container. And I've seen so many people transform. I've had literally 50,000 people go through them in the past. So that's a 4 or a 5. Then we talk about some other things in my business that I feel like I should do and everyone else in my industry does this. And those are like 2s. And then live events are a 5, but live events and challenges, like they're, like the belief was that I can't just do all of that, can I? But one thing that I recognized inside of myself is that like this last thing that I did a few days ago showed me that like, oh, you can 100% run challenges, which you love, to higher ticket live events and more intimate live events. I'm like, wow, it's a whole new world. It's literally like a whole new, it's something I thought maybe wasn't possible because not a lot of people do it. Also, not a lot of people love running live in-person events the way that I do. Some people do. I love live in-person events, like running them. So anyways, the reason I'm sharing this is I can see very clearly now that when I run live events, I get lit up. It creates the best content. When I'm live with people, it creates the best content. Like these are things that if I do more of bring out a version of me where I'm not attached to the outcome 'cause I fricking enjoy it. So my focus now is like, how can I get in that energy more often? How can I get in that energy and add value to people and have more fun more often? So it's a different way of thinking about all of this. And so often I see people and their focus is on like wanting one idea or they think they need to learn one more thing or they need to like watch more YouTube videos and watch something else. And maybe the key is actually not more information or waiting. Maybe the key is to actually step into this new you and to get into the state of being of it. Because that's when you're good either way is when you realize the journey is the point. The process is the point. And the more fun you can have and the more you can enjoy it, the more magical it is and the better results you get. Like this video, I just kind of felt like making. It's a more authentic video of me just like pulling out the camera to share this idea with you. And if it resonates with you, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but you can probably feel that it's authentic. And one thing this made me think the other day, because I remember hearing the story about Eckhart Tolle. Many of you probably know Eckhart Tolle. He's like an enlightened, kind of like a guy in a very high level of consciousness. Some people consider to be enlightened. He talked about how when he first went on Oprah, he had all these people telling him like, this is a really big deal. You should prep and have some stuff ready. And he's like, oh, okay, I've never done that. So he then like prepped a whole bunch of content and had a whole bunch of points he was gonna talk about. And what he did is he then went and he said that it was like extremely hard for him to get in a flow and he's never had to do that before 'cause he normally just connects to the present moment. So what was interesting about that is what he learned is that like the present moment's where all the magic is. Created a lot of resistance when you have all these things you need to talk about in a certain way. And in the same way, I so relate to that because when I make these videos, I just like to start the video and start talking and connect with you and like share ideas with you and stories with you that come in the moment. I don't, like with ChatGPT nowadays and all the AI stuff, like there are people that are crushing it on Instagram and YouTube because They're using an exact prompt. It's not this, it's that. It's not this, not this, that. And it's like these language patterns that are just, you know, it's like they're reading and it does well sometimes, but like that just doesn't work for me. I like to get into flow. I like to get into the moment. And what's worked for me for years is just that energy. But then if you overanalyze it, you're like, oh, you need a certain hook that has a certain like, structure to keep people engaged in the beginning. And I'm thinking to myself, maybe, or maybe you just make content you're passionate about and you let the flow come through and the right people find the videos that you create. So there's like a— and nowadays I think what'll happen in the next 2 years is people are going to get so tired of ChatGPT language patterns, they're just going to crave a little messiness and sloppiness almost. Little authenticity and rawness. That's why I love running live events where I'm hot seat coaching people, 'cause you're really in the unknown. You have no idea where it's gonna go. And even when it's like, there's little filler words or all these things, it's real. And I think nowadays people are craving real, people are craving authenticity, people are craving the energy of presence. In a few past videos I've made, I've talked about this idea of what I call the second awakening. After your first awakening, you become aware that you're a spiritual being having a temporary human experience. And a lot of times self-development, personal development, and healing becomes a way of getting there. And it takes you out of the present moment. If you could just get there, then you'll be healed. Then you'll be in the relationship, then you'll be in the abundance, but you're still in the trap. You're still subconsciously trying to cover up the belief that you're not enough, that there's something wrong with you. And the awakening, the second awakening is when you become aware of that pattern and you realize the pattern's not gonna be what gets you out of the pattern. So instead, what you focus on is you focus on presence and accepting the energy you might be avoiding underneath the pattern. And that's when you get to another level of consciousness, and that's presence. That's in realizing that you're already whole and complete. That's when you become accepting of the present moment as it is, and it becomes aware that— you become aware that the point is the process. The point is the presence. And if you can have more fun If you could enjoy yourself more, if you could focus on getting the energy, the divine will focus on the rest. Become a servant to the divine and following the passion and the energy. And the degree to which you can have courage to express the real you is the degree to which you are putting out that frequency and people can connect to it. So when it comes to this present energy that we're talking about too, something I read the other day was this quote from Bashar, this whole transcription thing that I was watching or reading at night one, a few nights ago. And it had to do with the energy, the frequency of you being you and you being in balance is what other people tune to, to then balance within themselves. So your courage to be vulnerable and authentic, not everyone will resonate with it. But if people don't resonate with it, that's a reflection to them that they may be avoiding something about themselves. Like when I first got on YouTube, it would trigger some people in my life, either the esoteric concepts I was sharing or just the fact that I was sharing it. They've been like, maybe it reflects something about them and their 9-to-5 job they didn't like. Do you see, like, do you see how this affects maybe other— it's not always about you, but you want to be a beacon of that energy. You want to be a beacon of balance, of a calm regulated nervous system, of having fun, of having no agenda, because ultimately the agenda is of the divine. Your job is to get in that state of being, to have more fun. Yes, you can still have goals, You can still take action, but let the action be the point. Let the goals be something that isn't make or break. If you make it or not, then you're worthy. No, you're worthy just 'cause you exist. If you wanna learn more about that second awakening, by the way, I have something called the Shift Academy where you can go through my shift process to transform on the other side of these patterns, to be whole and complete now. And you go through S.H.I.F.T. If you wanna check that out, I'll go ahead and link it below. It's my academy where you can also be coached, take a quiz to find your pattern and go through that process of transformation and realize that this life that you're in right now, if you're seeing this video, I believe you're going through that second awakening and you're becoming aware that you are already whole and complete and that the next step for you is to really focus on just getting in that energy. And that when you're in the energy, you are in a very magnetic state and people can feel it. So if you wanna learn more about how to be in that magnetic energy, I have one of my most popular videos is on how to embody that magnetic energy and how to be in that high vibe kind of like energy of love, joy, and becoming empty, which is really what it's about. I'll go ahead and link that video right here. And other than that, I'll see you in the next one.
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