Secrets of enlightened people that making letting go EASY

There's a secret to letting go that makes it so much easier. And it's something that when you apply in your life around any attachment you have, you will notice the energy completely switches and no longer is creating resistance in the process of whatever you wanna let go of. Whether it's an attachment to a person, an attachment to an outcome, an attachment to an opportunity, whatever it is, it becomes so much easier when you apply the insight that I'm about to share with you. Now, the first thing to understand is that I was coaching, so I was coaching this woman yesterday or 2 days ago, and she, it was interesting 'cause she got on the call and she's like, I'm having trouble right now because I'm wanting, I texted my boyfriend this morning, he hasn't texted me back. And I'm getting worried. I'm worried about him. And I'm wondering, like, my mind's going crazy. She's like, is he cheating on me? Did something bad happen? Do I need to get in my car and go over to his house right now? What is happening? And I'm wondering what is going on and can you help me with this? That's what she said to me. And for about 5 or 10 minutes, what I worked with her on was her becoming aware of what was happening in her body in that moment? Because very often what'll happen is people will look at this situation and they may say, her boyfriend, because her boyfriend is doing this, she is feeling a certain way inside of her body. And through a couple questions, what we became aware of was a simple question that I asked her. I said, is this familiar? I said, okay, let's take him out of the equation. How is this pattern familiar? Now it's important to become aware of when you're looking at your attachment, you think your attachment is the person, is the opportunity, is the thing happening, but understand that this person, opportunity, et cetera, is simply a symbol. It is a symbol. It is a symbol that also represents something that may be unresolved on the inside that if would change on the external, you could then feel different on the internal. And what this woman did is she looked at that and she said, oh yes, this is mom and dad growing up. It was a very similar thing. And what she became aware of and what I did to work with her is I helped her look at her insecure attachment towards this person. And what I helped her do is I helped her soothe that inner child part of her. So this was what's funny. Here's what's funny about the whole situation. As she started to soothe that part of her, inner child part of her, that it's not even really about him, it's about the unresolved pain and energy from mom and dad as a kid, as she began to soothe that inner child part of her, guess what happened? Within a minute of soothing that inner child part of her, she goes, "Oh, he just texted me." She goes, "He just texted me. He was taking a nap." Which was so funny. I'm like, wait, I want you to become aware of the connection here that for 5 hours or whatever it was, he was not texting you back, you were worried about him. You get on this call, you do the inner child work and you look at that insecure inner child and you integrate and soothe that part of you. And within a minute, he texts you. There's a correlation there because people on the external are reflecting back the patterns that are active on the internal. And when you become okay, whether someone texts you or doesn't text you, that's when you're in freedom. That's when you're not attached. So a huge part of this is understanding that there is a part of you that you could begin tapping into to soothe to see, to hear, and nurture that maybe never felt that growing up. It's interesting, I was having, I was on a live earlier and somebody else asked a question and I thought it was an interesting question because it says a lot about how we look subconsciously to these other aspects of ourselves. She said, how do you get rid of an insecure attachment style? And what I said was, listen to even the question. How do you get rid of an insecure attachment style? Now imagine there's an insecure inner child that feels not safe. Either it's anxious and it's leaning in and craving love, or it's avoidant and it doesn't trust love. Either way, how do we get rid of it? Well, imagine if we were having our inner child in front of us and we're like, how do I get rid of you? How do I get rid of you? And there's something wrong with you. You're being too needy or you're just, there's shame there. There's literally shame 'cause it's like either you're being too needy or you don't trust what's wrong with you. And what happens is when we dialogue with this inner child part of ourself and we We are in a way, how do I get rid of you? It's furthering the self, the abandonment that it feels because ultimately that inner child feels abandoned. And how do you get rid of the abandon? Well, you just get rid of it? No, you integrate it. You see, hear, soothe, and nurture that aspect of you. And here's the thing, as you acknowledge that part of you, you'll find that your nervous system then begins to relax. You'll find that then you start to feel more relaxed because you're actually paying attention to a part of you that doesn't feel worthy of your attention. Not only does it not feel worthy of your attention, but it feels like you're— like you've been like, how do I get rid of you? You're so needy. You can't trust. What's your problem? And guess what happens? It furthers that shame and it suppresses it even more. And here's the irony of the thing when it comes to detachment and letting go, there's a toxic side to it because the belief is if you don't feel worthy of love or connection, it might feel easier to renounce it and say, you know what, I'm just gonna detach or be non-attached. If I don't need others' love, I am free. If I just detach and have no needs, no one can ever break them. No one can ever break my trust. No one can ever let me down because I don't need anything. You see, this is the shadow side of it. So while from a certain stage, letting go can be very powerful, understand that there can also be a resistance to leaning more into connection. Ultimately, I believe we came here to connect with each other, and it does take courage to connect with someone again. It does take courage to connect with new people that maybe you've never met, because here's the thing, it could happen that someone lets you down. It could happen that somebody leaves. But guess what? If you see them leaving as internalizing it, it is a problem. If you see someone letting you down because you had expectations, that is a challenge. But guess what? That is where the work is for you to become self-sourced in knowing that you don't have to internalize it or even interpret it as abandonment. Even in a recent video, I was sharing some of the experiences I've had of recognizing certain things in my life happening, whether it's somebody that I'm reaching out with to do business with that's like kind of not getting back to me and I'm like a paying customer and I'm like, what's going on? To realize that this is that person's culture. This is just how that person is. But realizing I don't have to personalize it. I don't have to think there's something wrong with it and that I need to change someone else, get them on board, or to completely reject them, be like you, because they're reflecting. 'Cause remember, it's not the person, it's they represent a symbol. So what on the inside of me is my interpretation of it? Do you see where that's, that's where the power is. So when it comes to insecure attachment styles, when it comes to attachment in general, a huge part of this is recognizing that it's a symbol for an internalized, it's a symbol for something deeper. And when you then begin to look at the inner child part of you and you begin to soothe, hear, nurture and see that part of you, that's where a lot of healing can happen. And even for myself, as I was going through transformation years ago around this, and there's always deeper layers to go into, obviously. One thing I started to realize though, I will say, as I've started to know myself more and had that self-inquiry within myself and that confidence within myself, Even when dating or meeting people, it's like there's a different filter through which I ask questions and I even think from. So no longer do I meet people and wonder, do they like me? My questions now are, do I resonate with them? Do I like them? Is there synergy here? Do we have shared values? Can you sense the difference in the filter there? Because here's the thing, if there's a wound and something you're avoiding feeling, that's where people then are trying to get other people on board, trying to turn other people to like them because they believe that person liking them can then allow them to feel different on the inside. But when you're okay with other people not resonating with you, you do become more free. When you're okay with someone leaving because you can recognize that maybe someone else leaving is actually doing a service to you because maybe that means they're not the person that's gonna resonate with you a long time. It's okay. So you can let them leave. You don't need to fight for them. You don't need to get them on board to prove it to them. And many times, remember, this is a symbol for a deeper aspect of your consciousness that may crave mom or dad to have come around, to see the worthiness in you, to see the value in you. You see, these are different things that when we look at We can start to see that they're symbols, but also you don't have to fight for people's approval and validation. And do you even really want their approval or validation? You think sometimes you think you do, but you only think you do if you believe that that even means something. It's like if you had a voucher that you thought was valid, but you didn't realize it's not valid anymore. It's like a raffle ticket or something. It's like, oh, that's actually a raffle ticket from 2 years ago. But you've been sitting there like valuing it, thinking that it's something that like, if you, that you have that's valuable, that you could go trade in for something. And it's like, actually that raffle ticket's from 2 years ago. And you say, oh wait, I've been valuing it this whole time. You may have been valuing someone else's approval or validation thinking that if they gave you that raffle ticket that it was valid, it's not valid. And actually the inner child part of you is the only one that wants to feel validated. And if you validated that part of you, you would then soothe your nervous system and not internalize certain things that may have nothing to do with you. Like someone else leaving may bring up emotion inside of you, but even the story that they left is like a heavier story, isn't it? Because the story is subject-object, me and them, this person left. That may be a story from childhood, from mom and dad physically or emotionally checking out. So maybe that's why that story is there. But you can also recognize that maybe that person you didn't really resonate with at the level that you thought you did, because if you did, you'd still be with them. There'd still be that synergy there. There'd still be that resonance there. There's not. And if you can accept that and let that be okay, then you're in a very powerful frame of reality. Now, the other interesting thing about people that choose people that don't choose them, this happens quite often. People ask that at a recent live event of mine. They said, "Why do I choose people that don't choose me?" Somebody asked. And what I asked the person, I said, "Let's be honest here. Are there people in your life that do choose you?" And she thought about it for a minute. I said, there's probably some guy, there's a woman asking the question, there's probably some guy that thought he had a chance with you, isn't there? She goes, yes, actually there's a few. I said, interesting. So it's like, do you see how there's been opportunities where people have chosen you, but how did you feel about those people? And she goes, well, I didn't want anything to do with them. I wasn't choosing them. Which was interesting because when you look at the dynamic, she says people don't choose me was the belief. And even more specifically, the people I choose don't choose me, which is actually more accurate because people are choosing her. She just was choosing not to see those as people choosing her because she literally believed she wasn't chosen. So what happens is she attracts people that aren't choosing her, but really it's just she wants the attention of people that don't choose her. Could it be that that's the pattern? You literally only are choosing people that aren't choosing you. And here's the thing too, I've seen this happen before. Somebody is choosing something that's not choosing them, then that person chooses them and you wanna know what happens? Ugh, I was wrong about you. I don't want you. And then they turn away. And then that person chases them and they're like, ugh. I've seen this happen. You're not attracted to the person. The person is a symbol. And when they're turned away from you, they remind you of mom or dad whose approval and validation you wanted. The moment they give it to you, this is not familiar. This is not comfortable and you turn away. What you familiarize is chasing approval and validation and you've chosen people that you can play that dynamic out with and the moment they give it to you, it's uncomfortable and you push it away. Now a huge part of this process is coming in your own frame of reality and becoming aware of these patterns and then beginning to energetically choose yourself. Now, something that we're gonna be doing, if you haven't heard about it yet, we're doing a 21-day Confidence Love Challenge. We are doing this in a 21-day process that comes with live hot seat coaching, comes with breathwork that we're gonna be doing, and it comes with live meditations and a process to help you shift into the most confident version of you. So that you can heal and release codependent patterns. You can heal and start to feel more secure in your attachment style. You can own the disowned parts of yourself and start to feel regulated in your nervous system. So you can start to feel confident on your values so that you're not chasing other people's approval and validation, and you literally will become more magnetic. If you want to join, now is the time to join. It's gonna be starting soon. You go in and click the link below, grab your spot. I asked recently on Instagram social media if people wanted to do this. There was so much feedback. I'm like, let's do this. 21 Days to a New Confident You that has attracting love easier than ever. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you can either go deeper in the relationship you're in, or if you're single and you want to attract love, this will help you do that, to be more magnetic. And if you join right now, you'll get lifetime access to all the videos, all the replays, everything if you click the link below. So with everything that we're mentioning today, what are the major breakthroughs here for you? Now let's recap some of the most important ideas of today. One is that your attachment, you think is the person, the synchronicity, the opportunity, the whatever, it's not that it's actually the story of them as much as it is a pattern. And that pattern is something that you can begin to become aware of. It's a pattern. And is this pattern familiar to childhood somehow? How does this pattern feel familiar? And then can you see, hear, soothe, and nurture that insecure part of you that wants the attachment? Can you integrate it? Be present with that. Can you, like, if a part of you is avoidant and doesn't trust, can you develop trust with that part of you? Maybe through repetition of meditation, connecting with that part of you, asking them how they feel, seeing that they feel lonely and more safe in their room by themselves. And then you'll be developing a powerful connection to that part of you. On the other part of it, if it's an anxious attachment, insecure. We'll talk about this other part that's even more powerful here in a minute, by the way. But this part of you over here, can you start to meet that version of your needs by nurturing them, soothing them, letting them know it's okay? Play with them, be present with them. And as you do, you may find that you start to feel different inside of your body. You start to feel more present. Now, another aspect of this I almost forgot to mention that's so powerful is let go of the label itself of saying, "I am avoidant. I am anxious." So literally when people learn about attachment styles, they say this. Anything you say like that, you are subconsciously doing everything you can to stay consistent to. The truth is there are these patterns. You're not your patterns. You may have anxious tendencies or avoidant tendencies, but they're not who you are. If you believe they are who you are subconsciously, it's gonna be very, very hard to change. So let go of the label. I can tell times in past relationships where I was more avoidant. I can tell times in relationships where I was more anxious. and there are times when I was more secure. Depends on the dynamic. And by the way, you probably also have, are there certain friendships in your life that you do feel secure in? Secure attachment. You don't lean in and desperately, there's not that codependency. You don't push them away if there's emotion that they have. You probably do have secure attachment somewhere in your life. And when you become aware of this, you're like, oh, maybe you start taking on the identity of I am secure attached. I can think, feel, act equal to the part of me that doesn't push away love, but also doesn't need it and crave it from other people. You recognize it as something that exists inside of you and also your connection to God, to the divine. There's also, inside this book is— it's one of my favorite books of all time. It's called Autobiography of a Yogi. Highly, highly recommend it. It's about Paramahansa Yogananda. Back in the early 1900s, 1920s, and '30s, he came to the United States from the, from the West— or the East. And he's known for, you know, bringing, bringing yoga from the East to the West. And A big part of it is understanding our connection to God. And he was bridging that of the Eastern religions to the Western religions and bringing us back to, instead of, he calls it the searchlights, instead of pointing your searchlights out towards external materialism, bringing our searchlights within and focusing on God, the universe, the divine, the source energy inside of ourselves. And I believe that right now on the planet is a very powerful time for us to do this. Because ultimately, if that part of you, that even that inner child part of you doesn't feel seen, heard, served, and nurtured, it's looking for its needs to be met on the external. But really deep down, what you're looking for, all of us at the deepest core, is a connection to God, to source energy, whatever name you wanna give it. I know there's a lot of charged energy around these terms. But something that I highly recommend is reading this book, but also understanding your connection to the divine. He literally saw like different, he talks about his experiences meeting different like enlightened yogis inside the East and these stories that they could literally do things that defy reality beyond just levitating and sleeplessness, like these, Just, it's very magical and it very much shows what life is all, what life is really about at a deeper level, why we came here. I believe we came here to be a part of the shift in consciousness that's happening on the planet. And ultimately it's what we're all after is our connection to learning lessons while we're here. Some of these people are in your life as lessons of certain themes we wanted to learn. We wanted to learn letting go. We wanted to learn how to work with grief and how to turn that grief into a higher quality of joy and peace and love and fear to love. And these are all— and that's what Kriya Yoga is about. It's about moving the energy and transmuting it from its lower form into its higher form. And it's something that I'm very fascinated with and going to be really focused on. It'll probably influence my content moving forward as well. Let me know if that's something you're interested in, is learning more about what I learned when it comes to Kriya Yoga and some of these practices. I read this book every night before bed. I've read it 3 times, but I just kind of go through it before bed. I find it influences my sleep in a powerful way. But let me know if you wanna learn more about it. Join the 21 Day Confidence Love Challenge if you haven't already. Now is the best time to join to get lifetime access to everything. And other than that, I'll see you in the next one. Peace, much love, and namaste.