Shadow Work and the Law of Attraction (my experience)

This video, I'm going to show you shadow work and the law of attraction. I'm going to show you how you may be attracting things depending upon your shadow. I'm going to show you how to bring these things into the light and how this changes everything. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron Doughty and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you that of shadow work, understanding a little bit more about what this concept is that Aaron speaks of in third person and why shadow work is the key to you really not attracting things that you really don't prefer to experience. A lot of it actually has to do with the identity. And this is something I've realized more and more over the last 2 or 3 years I've been making YouTube videos is as time goes on, I realize how important the shadow self is and your self-image. There's a little bit of both your shadow self and the self-image. Now here's what I've become to realize, okay, is that there's different levels of my own personality and different levels of my own shadow that have been bringing things to my awareness. And let me share with you a little bit about what that is. Now, for those of you that don't know what a shadow is, the shadow is the part of us that's unconscious, the part of us that we're not aware of. And many times the shadow has kind of a negative connotation. It's the unconscious part of us that is many times projected out. A lot of times people will actually perceive in other people parts of their own shadow. For example, I get pretty irritated when somebody says they're going to be here on a certain time. If I, for example, my Lawn right now is pretty long and I pay a person to come here once a week to trim the grass and I'm wondering to myself, well, I've been paying weekly, but yet last week he didn't come and maybe he didn't come a couple of weeks ago and why am I paying if it's not being done on time? Now another aspect of it is he says he's going to come every Wednesday. Today is Wednesday and anytime there's these things in my life where people say they're going to come on a certain time, but then they don't. It irritates me and this even has to— there's another aspect of this as well. There's a guy that comes over like a handyman. He's actually a really cool guy. I really like him, but he, he says, oh, I'm going to be over at your house at 1 o'clock. He will not show up till 3:30 or 4 and it's always like that with him. And so maybe that's a story I tell myself, I don't know, but he, anytime I have to be very firm with him, I said, you need to, okay, if you're going to be here at 1, then be here at 1 because I'm going to be going somewhere and I can leave him at my house to do work. But I need to check, show them what it needs to be done, you know, whether it's hanging up something or whatever it is. Um, but that really gets under my skin for some reason. Now that's part of my own shadow because I myself sometimes don't show up on time. I know sometimes I'll go work out with Victor, we'll say, okay, let's show up at 12 o'clock. I'll roll in at 12:15, 12:30. So I ha— that's part of my own shadow. I'm aware of that. Now, when you become aware of this is when you bring the shadow into the light, bring the shadow into the light. Now, there are aspects of our personality, and I think this video is going to be a very empowering video, video for you because you're going to give yourself more permission to be yourself by the end of this video. Now understand, with the law of attraction, we attract things into our life depending on our vibration. Some of our vibration may be totally unconscious. We might not be aware of it. So I'm attracting situations into my life like being people being late coming to me. I might have a story about that. I tell myself that people never show up on time or a lot of times don't. But then today I have a haircut, for example, my hair is getting a little bit long and when I go to get my haircut, sometimes when I show up I'm like 5, 10 minutes late and I, and I, I so beat myself up for it because I so, especially because I become more busy as time goes on. I'm pretty busy now that I'm doing like, I've been doing daily videos. I mean, you know, I've got a lot going on, so my time is very valuable. So if I do that to someone else, I feel really bad. I feel really guilty about it now. But like I said, what I perceive in other people, I also dislike because it's also a part of myself. So in a way it's like I'm walking around with this charge inside my energy field that says this rule that says people better not be late, people better not be late, people better not be late. And then when people are late, I get there's this charge and I'm like, oh, why are people late? But then I also have part of my own personality is sometimes I'm not completely on time. And I noticed as well, it has to do with the priority as well. If it's something I really wanna go to, then I will be on time. And I like going to the gym, but I don't know, it's one of those things. Now let me share with you a different aspect of this as well. This is what I've realized. This is what I'm gonna encourage you to look at with your shadow. What is your relationship with your parents? I'm gonna wait. I'm just kidding. What is your relationship with your parents? Now, the reason that I ask this is our relationship with our parents or the people that raised us, those are the first relationships that we ever had in our life. Those are the way that relationships that we had with them in a way very much influenced the way that we relate to self, the way that we relate to ourselves and the way that we relate to other people. Now let me share with you an aspect of my own shadow that I've become aware of over the last, honestly, like 4 or 5 days. I've really become aware of this and I'm really being proactive at bringing this shadow into the light. So many of you know my story. I know I say my story in almost a whole bunch of videos because, um, because I've tried to show people a lot of times that you know, you can go through these things, you come out on top, come out more powerful. You know what I mean? Now, just part of my story growing up between the ages of 7 to 15 years old, I had an abusive stepmom in my life. She was very controlling. She was very manipulative. And my dad's a fire investigator. He wasn't home very often. So me and my brother had to deal with her and we weren't allowed to have friends. We weren't allowed to watch TV. We weren't allowed to go to school activities. We had to earn it. She was physically and mentally abusive. So she was a very dominant female. And we weren't even really allowed to have a relationship with our real mom, who is amazing, who now I have, of course, have a relationship with. And this is what I've realized recently. I've been paying attention to my own energy and realizing that part of my personality is I am what is called a fixer. I try to fix people. I try to fix even people in my life that come to me. I want to help everyone. I'll have people in my family whom I love very much who come to me for help, who come to me and express certain things to me, and I want nothing more than to help them, to fix them, and to make them better. Whether that's giving them money to help them get back on their feet, whether that's helping them emotionally and helping them move through things. I realized that this, this personality trait of being a fixer comes a little bit from my dad. My dad is a similar way. My dad is the nicest guy in the world. He will do anything for his kids and he has in many situations. However, a lot of times he doesn't take care of himself. When I say that, what I mean is there'll be things he wants to do. He will put everything on the back burner for everyone else. Aaron Doughty, great guy, but sometimes the answer is for him to have more of a firm mentality, have boundaries. But in a way, he had kind of, he let the ex-stepmom run the show back in the day. He didn't have as much boundaries. He didn't have the boundary to say, these are my kids, do not treat 'em like that. He didn't have that boundary or to have the boundary to say, this is what I want. It was in a way just let her run the show. Now me growing up, I noticed this in him and I had the ex-stepmom in my life for 7 to 15 years old, so I developed a personality trait of becoming a people pleaser. I want other people to be happy. I— that is also part of the fixing mentality. My dad has that, plus in a way I have that. I want to fix people when a lot of times the answer is to not fix people, to let people go through their own stuff and to be there as maybe an emotional support system, but not to just give. It's like you can teach someone to fish, but if you just give someone fish, they're just going to keep coming back to you to more fish. And then you got to consistently give your fish that you normally used to eat if you eat fish, but you get the, you get the analogy. So for this, what I've been realizing recently is my personality, there are times when I emphasize certain aspects of my personality, but recently I've been realizing that I've had more of this people pleaser mentality, wanting to make everyone happy, wanting to make sure everyone's okay, wanting to fix other people, and that's been manifesting in my life in many ways. One of those is having a lack of boundaries, having a lack, being afraid to say no to people. I've always been kind of afraid to really say what, Like here's, there's a paradox within here. I'm a very blunt person. I'm a very sarcastic person. I like to have fun. I like to joke around. So a lot of times when it comes to these things, if there's something on my mind, I just say it. And even if it's a little bit harsh, I say it with good energy. So normally people don't mind, but in general, even just from first off meeting someone, I, if somebody said something that I don't like, there are times that I feel afraid to say what I really think. Because I just met this person, all of this stuff. But that comes from a people pleaser mentality. It comes from trying to make other people happy and being afraid to really express myself. Because if I would've expressed myself back in the day when my ex-stepmom was in my life, I would've got pain. I would've gotten trouble. I would've got taught or told that I shouldn't have talked back. I would've got told that, that my opinion didn't matter, and I would've got told to go outside and do yard work. That's what would've happened back in the day. Those same unconscious shadow aspects of me are still in my life today in some ways. And some of this includes what I'm sharing with you right now. You may notice that this video has a more direct and masculine feel than some of the more recent videos that I've done. Well, what I've realized is I'm bringing this shadow back into my awareness, into the light, and I'm transforming it because a lot of those aspects as well are more feminine aspects. When you're trying to, to please other people, it's more being, it's being much more soft and I'm a masculine person. So I noticed that sometimes what happens is I will, We both, we all have masculine and feminine within us, every single one of us. Now the thing with spirituality that I notice a lot, it's kind of a side tangent, but the thing I notice a lot in spirituality is many people become very, very spiritual. They'll start meditating. And sometimes what happens is they go so far on the other side of the spectrum that they become very soft. They become very like a little bit more airy, just wanna meditate all day, just send love to the planet. Which is a very good energy. It's amazing. But this is about having a balance, not an equal balance. Sometimes the polarity is good, but it's about being authentic. That's it. It's about being authentic. My best videos, in my opinion, are the ones where I have a lot of passion, a lot of energy. I'm just myself. I don't care what people think. That's when the energy is the best. That's when you could probably feel my energy is the best, or at least you feel the most energy. Now there are times it goes to a different way. Maybe I'll just be more flowy. You know, we all have masculine and feminine aspects within us, but I find that I am most comfortable when I have the kind of energy that I have in this video right now, which is more based on a predominant masculine energy, which is more direct. Doesn't have to mean masculine is male and feminine is female. Masculine is direct. Masculine is decisive. Masculine just doesn't care what people think. Feminine is more open-hearted. It's more flowy. It's more empathic. They're both just as— not one's worse than the other, but what I realized in myself is when I was growing up, I was observing my dad and I had a very masculine female in my life who was my ex-stepmom who was in a way like an army surgeon. Surgeon? No, army sergeant. Sergeant. I think that's the word. Very strict, very regimented. Very angry all the time. So I would, because I resented my ex-stepmom for many years, I would do my best to be the opposite of that. I don't ever wanna be that manipulative and mean to people. And I just want to, I'm seeking validation from people. Oh, if I just do enough, I've always had that mentality as well. When I have, you know, like friends, I do a lot to add value to them. As if I'm not good enough already. I'll either give them things, and I realize this in relationship as well, buying someone a whole bunch of gifts and then realizing that that doesn't really mean anything other than the meaning I put in it. Yes, it can be a nice gesture, but not everyone's love language is gifts, but it's also emphasizing that I'm not already whole and complete. Not that I'm not going to not give gifts in a relationship, but do you see what I mean? The people pleaser mentality is an aspect of my shadow that I wasn't really aware of. And because I was afraid to speak my truth, afraid to say what I really think in many situations, I am then not being in integrity to who I really am and to what I really feel like saying. So those shadow aspects is me being a little bit more passive, me having a more feminine edge in many situations, maybe not this direct focus person. Of course, there's a balance of this. I love the business aspect of what I do. I love it. I love doing events. I love doing so many different aspects of this. I love it. But it's a very masculine thing. And there are times that I want a more feminine, like at the end of a long workday, the last thing I wanna go do is something else that's very logical and masculine. Maybe I just wanna relax. Maybe I wanna get a massage. Maybe I wanna just chill and not have a direct focus on intention behind what I'm doing. But what I'm realizing about myself is I'm becoming more aware I'm going to share with you the answer to this process here in a minute. I'm becoming more aware of these aspects, bringing them into the light, and then they don't have as much— I'm integrating it. I'm not resisting it. It's not like the answer to this is I go around just telling everyone, you are this way, you are this way, pointing my fingers. It's more so I integrate and I realize what's authentic for me and I express myself when I want to express myself. I'm more detached from outcome. I'm more in my own frame. What I've realized over these last couple months is sometimes I get out of my own frame of reality. I start adhering to everyone else's intentions and I become more like a leaf in the wind more than having my direction. The most successful I've been in my life, the most happy I've been in my life, the most myself I've been in my life is when I am in a certain direction and I am exuding my masculine frame. Now, this is the key to this process. We all have different aspects of our personality. What I would encourage you to do is to bring some of these into the light and then to start giving yourself more permission to be you, the real you, not the mask you, not the mask you. The mask you is the one that the kind of person you think you should be, the kind of person that you become maybe because of your relationship with your parents. Maybe some of those are positive things, but be aware, of the personality traits of your mom, the personality traits of your dad, their interaction with each other. Be aware how that shaped the way you see relationships, the way that you see yourself. And by being aware of that, you can then see, did I take on certain traits? Maybe you're, you know, we're in 2019 now, so when we talk about feminine masculine traits, it could be a touchy subject for many people. We all have masculine and feminine energy within us. The key is being aware of which is your dominant frame, which are you more polarized to and become aware if you're wearing any masks depending on your childhood experiences, whether you became a people pleaser and you started to take on these more feminine roles as a guy because you're trying to make everyone else happy. That's not even really who you are. You are a being that's not afraid to put out your thoughts, express yourself, but you learn growing up that it's fearful to do so, so you created this this mask that buffered and has allowed you to then be a certain way. Maybe on the feminine side, maybe on the feminine side, when you were growing up, you were learning that you had to control situations. You had to take on a more masculine role. Maybe instead you can learn how to balance that out into how to become more free, more flowing, how to integrate more of that into your psyche. So there's this polarization with the shadow work that I really wanted to express in this video because a lot of those masks, come from the way that we think we should be, the way that we were given with pain and pleasure growing up. But what you can realize now is you can just be yourself, whatever that means, but the real you, not the mask you, not the you that you think you have to be. If it feels good to people-please, then cool. Me, I realize that that's a mask and that's something that's not really— taking on everyone else's problems and trying to figure it out myself isn't really my passion. And now that I'm more aware of it, the energy has shifted within me. Now the energy is flowing much easier. The videos I'm doing are much more in alignment with the way I prefer to do videos. So I feel more in alignment than ever. And I can just give myself permission to be myself. There's something I want to say, I say it. There's something I want to do, I do it. I'm in my own lane. And that contains a certain level of gravity. Plus I now have better boundaries. And I don't feel guilty. I used to feel so guilty about boundaries. Like, oh, this is what I wanna do. Oh, what do you think about that? Is that okay? Is that okay? I know, no, now it's just, this is what I'm doing. I have self-compassion. Doesn't mean that I'm shutting off this feminine side of myself, but for now, what I'm focused on is really integrating. With shadow work, it's about integrating these unconscious parts of myself so that I can start to attract things into my life that are more in alignment with the way that I prefer to be. So the law of attraction and shadow work, we always attract to us a reflection of our vibration. Part of our vibration may be unconscious. The key is becoming aware of these masks, these stories we tell ourselves about who we are. And as we become aware of these unconscious stories, we then are able to bring the shadow into the light. We're then able to integrate these different darker sides of our personality so that we could be more at our core. So by realizing this and being aware of it, that's where the power is. Now, as I explain this story right now, what you'll notice is that a lot of this has to do with patterns of the past that haven't been completed. There is a completing the past meditation that if you listen to for 21 days, I think it will transform your life. Read the comments. In this video to see what I mean and see what is possible. It's going to be right in the top of the description box below. Let's do it for 21 days and watch what happens. When you complete the past, you no longer repeat it. And most of the negative patterns in our life come from feeling unworthy. So this meditation will help you to complete that past. Also, if you haven't already, the only way— I don't know why YouTube does this, but it does— the only way to see the daily videos on YouTube is to hit the notification bell. I have a lot more good stuff coming. I'm excited to share it with you. If you haven't hit the notification bell yet, you can hit it somewhere right below. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video. Feel free to like it if you liked it. Subscribe if you haven't already. And as always, peace, much love, and namaste.