STOP being a people pleaser and FINALLY get what you want like this!

If you are a people pleaser, then I believe this video will completely transform your life and it will show you the cure to people pleasing. It'll show you that that's really honestly a shadow aspect as well. Being a people pleaser means that we don't feel validation while we're trying to make other people happy and that if we were to make other people happy, they would then exchange validation and approval for the sense of whatever we are doing to please the other person. So really what this is, it's the shadow that has to do with worthiness, which has to know with how we think we have to be in order to be accepted by other people. And the thing is, is this is inauthentic. This isn't really actually what we would want. It's just doing something in exchange for something else. Now, what this video is gonna show you is it's gonna show you the different parts of what goes into being a people pleaser, why that's there, and then exactly how to switch it easily. Flip the switch, like that Drake song, flip the switch, right? Flip it, and then you will not be a people pleaser any longer. What would it be like if you were able to be and feel empowered when you're around other people? When you're able to be unapologetically you? When you can actually say no to something you really don't wanna do and not feel guilty about it? Imagine how you would show up in the world. I say all this because I used to be somebody that was looking to please other people, a people pleaser. And then when I switched that, did the shadow work, I've let it go. And now my reality is completely different. People respect me at a much deeper level too. I'm more authentic, I'm more bold, and I've created the lifestyle of my dreams because I have this new energy about myself. So in this video, I'm going to show you step by step what to do to cure it and how you can more boldly show up in the world so that you stop people pleasing and you start instead pleasing yourself. All right guys, welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness and I make videos that help people understand more about who they are, how reality works, so that you can transform your life in a powerful way. And, um, when it comes to being a people pleaser, it devalues— if you're— it's really this part of us that it's We've devalued ourself and we're literally trying to please someone else. It could be something as small as you're with somebody else, you're dating someone, for example, and they wanna go do something or something is happening in their life and before you can feel happy, you need to please them and make them happy. Or maybe there's somewhere you wanna go eat and someone's like, hey, let's go eat here. And you're like, no, you know, inside you're like, man, I don't really wanna eat there. I would rather go do this. but you can't say no because part of the identity, part of the way you see yourself is tied to a sense of validation. Now here's what I've noticed about shadow work. In order for us to really do the work and for us to really let it go, it's important to do some level of shadow work, I found at least for myself. And what this means is looking at your past, looking at your past and seeing when in your past maybe you had to be a certain way in order to receive love. When did you have to be a certain way in order to receive love? See, a lot of times people pleasing is a side effect from growing up and having to do what is called parent pleasing, having to be a certain way for a parent to accept or love you. And many of you know my past, but between 7 and 16 years old, I had an abusive ex-stepmom in my life who was narcissistic, controlling, and emotionally manipulative. So if I did something wrong, I would get school taken away. but a lot of times it was stuff that it's almost like there was this impossible standard. Mostly my brother and I were working outside all the time. We weren't really allowed to have friends. We weren't allowed to watch TV. We never, we never did that. We were mainly working outside. Um, we were for a part of the part of it locked inside this one, like the, like this one room that had like this, um, nevermind, I don't wanna get too much into it, but it's, uh, the thing that I realized is that in order for me to be loved and accepted, I had to stay in line and not talk out loud, not express myself. I had to really be this like artificial person in order to be accepted or even just to get privileges. And then after 16 years old came around, my dad divorced her. I realized I still had this mentality where I was trying to make someone else happy because a lot of that age between 7 and 16, my brother and I had to like make her happy and, and not like step on her toes or not say things or it was, it was very interesting. So the way that I've dealt with this is by looking at that period of my time and actually sending my past self love. I looked at the part of me that was maybe damaged or hurt when I was like 12 years old and something happened, I got in trouble, or 14. And what I did is I imagined that version of me and I literally sent that version of me love. What that helps me to do is that helps me to nurture my inner child. Many of us have had childhoods where we grew up and we were a certain way, something happened, and then we, we maybe had a certain feeling or emotion and we didn't heal from it. And this is a very powerful process that I found. If you feel like you're people pleasing, it's because you don't feel worthy already. And what you can begin to do is go back to your past, imagine your childhood, and imagine different versions of you, different ages of you, and literally send that version of you love. And as you do, what you're gonna find is you're gonna find that you feel this sense of relief, this sense of healing, this sense of energy begin to change about you because you start to more so tap into that energy. Now, another aspect of this is understanding what is really the cure to this. Well, it's understanding also tension, tension. People pleasers do anything they can to mitigate tension. So for example, somebody wants to challenge you or argue with you or say what we're gonna do and like call the shots. You don't wanna do something, but instead of confront the tension and say, no, I don't wanna do that and have someone else not be happy, We just go with the flow. Okay, yes, we'll go to this movie that I don't really want to watch. We'll go to this restaurant or to this place to eat even though I want to do this. Yes, I'll say yes to my friends even though I actually want to stay at home and just relax and read a book. See, what that is, is it's being afraid of the confrontation. Many people growing up are afraid of what their parents are going to say or think if they act out of line. And in the same way, it seems to have a very powerful connection to how people are in the world now from their parent relationship growing up. So what was the punishment growing up for you if you were to talk and say what you really wanted to do or to go against the grain? For many of you listening to this, it may have meant you got in trouble. It may have meant that even friends and family growing up, maybe they just didn't accept you or validate you. But what people pleasing is, is it's a side effect of not wanting to be bold in the world, not wanting to be bold and authentic. People pleasing is not authentic. Because it is putting other people before yourself and you have to first off fill up your own cup before you can give to other people. So one thing that I've learned about this whole process is that the more okay you become with tension, meaning you say no, you go against maybe what somebody else wants to do, the more you become comfortable with that, the more you're gonna begin to see that tension's not a bad thing, especially when it comes to masculine-feminine polarity. Tension is necessary in many ways. Especially for the masculine, to be okay with being intention, to be okay with being on your mission and having these, your own inner boundaries that then allow the feminine to feel safe. So people pleasing is really about understanding that you must give yourself the validation, you must give yourself the love, you must in a way be selfish. Let's go outside a little bit. I kind of feel like going outside. So being selfish, as crazy as that sounds too, 'cause a lot of people will hear that And they will go, oh, I don't wanna be selfish. Like that could be bad for the, you know, as if like they're gonna become a narcissist or something. Being selfish is the key, is the key to this process of making the switch of realizing that when you make yourself happy, you then become more confident. You then become more attractive. People then respect you more. There's a lot of people that will take advantage of a people pleaser or a nice guy or a nice girl, whatever we call it. There's people that will take advantage of that, and if they see they can get away with a lot, they don't respect that of the person. So one thing that I found to be extraordinarily powerful for this process is to understand that you can begin to, in a way, do what you want to do instead of always asking yourself the question, what does everyone else want? What will make this person happy, start asking yourself the question, what will make me happy? What do I want to do? And what you're gonna find is that instead of being the cameo in other people's movie, you start to be the star of your own movie. And this begins to change all the energy about you. Everything changes when you start to embody this energy. Be okay with saying no and realize you're already worthy. You can let go of the story that says you're not worthy, the story, the belief in your mind that says that you have to be a certain way in order to receive love. You are love just because. And I know it sounds cheesy, but the more you start to see that the people pleaser is a safety mechanism that keeps people from knowing the real you, that's what people pleasing is. So, you know, if I'm nice to you, then you'll accept me and love me. But that's not how it really works. When you are boldly, the more authentic I've been to, I remember when I first started making YouTube videos, I wanted like my family and friends to like, even before I made YouTube videos, to like understand what I was talking about, to like and to be into the spiritual awakening content. The more that I would want them to and the more that I would try to like show them all this stuff, the more they resisted. But the more I just unapologetically boldly was expressing myself not caring what other people thought or believed, now they come to me. It's a different energy and I'm the star of my own movie now. And I have a much different energy about myself than I did 4 years ago because I'm no longer a people pleaser. I'm somebody that does what I wanna do. And don't worry about being too selfish. The people pleaser's not gonna become a narcissist. The narcissist is too selfish. The narcissist is too, all about me, me, me, me, me. Yes, you can still be aware. Doesn't mean that you become like this edgy, you know, person, but it means that you become aware of what do I wanna do? You're no longer seeking validation. You're focused on authenticity. So all you gotta do really is start to say no to things you wanna say no to, say yes to the things you wanna say yes to, be okay with tension, realize that tension is something that you can become comfortable with And as you become comfortable with tension, you'll find that you start to feel more confident about yourself. You'll find that even if somebody else doesn't agree with you, that's okay. If somebody else doesn't like you, that's okay because you know you were already whole and complete. And the way that you can heal feeling not whole and complete is look to your past, look to times you had to be, act, or feel a certain way and send that version of you love. Whatever you went through, you may have went through way worse things than this. Than I can even imagine. And I want you to know that you could send that version of you love, support. That will help heal that part of you, your inner child, and then you'll start to feel more worthy, whole, and complete. And the key is making a new choice about who you are, stopping the story that says you are unworthy, stopping the story that says you are even a people pleaser. Drop it from your identity. It's not who you are anymore. You can do what you wanna do. You can be how you wanna be. You can say no, you can say yes, you can be a little selfish. And by doing that, you're gonna be seeing a different result in life too. You'll start getting what you actually want in life. You can't get what you want when you're a people pleaser and you're the cameo in everyone else's movie. This is a choice of identity. This is a new choice about who you are. If you didn't know, I have a meditation on completing the past that will help you go to the past of when you decided you were subconsciously a people pleaser. It's the Completing the Past and Feeling 100% Worthy, Whole, and Complete Meditation. Listen to it for 21 days. Watch how your life changes. I'll go ahead and link that right here. You'll see it linked in the comment section below as well. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video, and as always, peace, much love, and namaste.