STOP CHASING A Girl & Do This Instead! (She Will CHASE YOU)

Chasing someone else is displaying and revealing the energy of desperation and weakness. Also, chasing someone is displaying that I don't feel worthy, and it is looking for the validation of someone else. And many times when someone is chasing someone else, that person gets chased out of their lives. So in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly step by step how to stop chasing someone and also how you can develop magnetic energy that ends up attracting what you want easier than ever. Now there's power that comes with being unattached to outcome. There's power that comes when you start realizing your own sense of value and your own sense of worth. Now the first thing I want to share with you is about developing self-confidence because if we are putting out the energy of desperation and we are chasing someone else, then we feeling confident about who we are. And what happens is that means we're not trusting ourselves. If we look at the word confidence, it literally means to trust, confidere, or something like that. And I've realized in my life that when I am chasing anything really, whether it's a person, it's a goal or whatever, and it's— there's a needy energy that emanates from it, it's because there's a lack of confidence. And also it becomes something I'm doing to get something else. Think of this. So there's things we do in our life that are end of itself. Like, you could be doing something where you're swimming in a pool. You're not swimming in the pool so that you, you become like Michael Phelps or anything. You're swimming in the pool because it's fun. The thing is, is when confident people go on dates or confident people are interacting with other people, they're doing it and they're enjoying the interaction. If I'm making this video right now and I just want to enjoy the video and I just want to make an awesome video that adds value and I'm being present to the moment, you'll feel that. But if I'm like trying to like force every little thing to work and it needs to be perfect for you, you'll also feel that needy energy. Energy is contagious. So one of the things that we become aware of that changes everything is become aware of any type of needy energy that may be put out because needy energy blocks love like the plague. There's like nothing else that will make someone not interested in you than if needy energy is being eliminated off. So the way to look at this and the way to, uh, like mitigate this is to start to develop confidence within yourself. And what that means is find ways of living in integrity with who you prefer to be and also realize that when it comes to chasing anybody, it's making that anybody, it's making that the focal point. And when they are the focal point, when they are being the main focus, then what ends up happening is that ends up repelling them from wanting to come into your life. Because it's like, I went to this seminar once and I think I talked about this in a recent video, but I went to a seminar once and there was a lady that was talking about energy dynamics and we were all inside the room and she was saying, all right, I want you guys all to push the energy at me right now. Project energy at me, project energy, project energy at me. And as we projected energy at her, she said she could feel the energy. And what would happen is it would like push her. She could— said she could feel the energy pushing her away and she would like lean back. But then she said something interesting. She said, all right, now put the energy back in your own bodies. Put the energy and be present to the moment. And as people did that, she then said she could feel magnetized towards us. So the energy difference is that when we are projecting energy out, that energy, everything is energy. So even attention is like something we're pushing and pointing out at somebody. They feel that. And because the energy is not grounded in a sense of self and it's being pushed out, then what happens is the person feeling it can feel that it's also some type of manipulative energy. If I was like back in the day, if I was going on a date or I was doing something, I was doing it to get validation or approval, people could literally feel that off of me. Even this 9 to 5 job that I used to have where I used to sell women's shoes, if I went into work and my goal was I need to make like $5,000, I need to sell $5,000 worth of shoes this day because I got 10% commission. That's like $500 and it's like, good, I need to do this, I need to do this. And people could feel that I was helping them because my main priority is making my money. It would repel them. But if I had the intention of being present to the moment, of adding value, of enjoying the moment, Yes, maybe in the background I did have a goal, but I wasn't being needy about it. It had a completely different response. So one of the first things you want to become aware of is, is there needy energy there? And that neediness, is it there simply because the cup isn't being filled up by itself? And what you want to look at is you want to look at giving yourself the emotions and the things that you're craving. And that could be giving yourself the validation, that could be giving yourself the approval, and it could be starting to focus on doing things because you enjoy it, doing things because you are then being present to the moment. And as you focus on that, you'll notice that there's a completely different energy dynamic about you. Now, the second thing you wanna become aware of to stop chasing a specific person or to stop chasing someone is this. Anytime you are chasing someone, what is happening is the energy is going out, you're putting it towards them, but what you might be doing is you might be finding a familiarity with somebody who is not choosing you. So maybe it's someone that's not emotionally available, maybe it's someone that's uninterested in you, but maybe what's happening is deep down it feels familiar to have someone that is not interested in you. This is something that was very hard for me to look at because I was realizing that I was attracting people into my life and because there was that needy energy there up until I looked at this like 2 years ago, uh, or like a year, not even 2 years ago, maybe a year ago. Um, what I became aware of is that I was actually attracted to people that were uninterested in me. And one of the reasons was because I felt like I wasn't worthy. And if I could just prove my sense of worthiness, if I could just prove that I was good enough, then maybe I would then get that love, validation, and approval back in return. So I found myself trying to prove myself. And a lot of times this also played out in like feeling like the rescuer. Have you ever felt like you were the rescuer in a relationship, like somebody that's, that's coming in to save the day, that you can help fix somebody. And the idea behind this is if I can fix someone or help save them, then I become indispensable. They will never leave me if I am adding that much value to them. That was the limiting, that was the belief. But of course that's not the way it works because when I've done that in the past where I tried to fix somebody, what ends up happening is the polarity, especially the sexual polarity, completely goes away. Because then you're positioned more as like a coach or a mentor than just somebody who's like holding space in a masculine way or being present with somebody else. So one of the things I had to become aware of, and I had to be honest with myself, is one of the reasons I'm chasing someone is because I literally feel like them not being interested in me is a chance for me to prove myself that I'm good enough. And I realized that once I stopped abandoning myself, then I started to actually allow love in my life. So this is one of the things you can do that will completely change your energy dynamic and help you to become much more magnetic, is to realize your sense of worthiness is rooted within you. And if you don't feel worthy, it's most likely because there's some level of belief that I'm broken. There's something wrong with me that normally came from childhood. And what we're then trying to do is if we don't get down to the identity, if we don't get down to the core, then what's going to happen is we're going to believe that there's something wrong with us. And then no matter what we do, we're going to like literally repel people from ourselves. So what you want to do is you want to become aware of it. If there's any shame there, shame is an energy that says I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And shame many times can come from childhood, from when we were kids. Having an emotionally unavailable parent, that's a possibility. A physically abandoned parent, that's another possibility. And then what happens, or maybe your parents divorce, or maybe you felt like you were talking a lot. I was in a crystal store a couple of days ago and there was this little boy and he was talking, talking, talking, and the parents, you could just tell, were just, maybe he just talked a lot and the parents were just uninterested, but you could tell he's like, they were doing a somewhat good job, but you could just tell that like the parents were so used to him talking all the time that they were kind of like tuning him out. But maybe he then develops a belief that says that, that says that, um, people just aren't interested in me. That could be part of it. Or maybe he believes he has to talk to get their attention because if he doesn't have that, then maybe they're going to become interested. It's an interesting loop, but in general, when you were a kid, maybe you felt like somebody was not interested in you and maybe they still loved you, but maybe then what we do is we confuse that and we think that that feels familiar. That feels comfortable. Now here's the interesting thing. The word familiar has the word in it, familial, like family. So we may be attracted to people that are uninterested, and that's the problem. That's the problem. That's the thing to become aware of. So very important quick reminder is that every single Sunday at 9:00 AM Pacific Standard Time or 12:00 Eastern Time, we come together for a live meditation, a live teaching, and a live Q&A. Here on this YouTube channel. So if you haven't checked that out yet, I highly recommend joining one of those. There's an energy that grows every single week when we do it, and we not only change our own lives by tapping into this group collective energy, but it's changing the energy of the planet. So if you want to join in on this, if you want to experience it, then hit the subscribe button below and the notification bell so that you can get notified when we go live every single Sunday. Now the cure to this that I had to do is I realized that I had developed people pleaser mentality. I developed that of what you call like the nice guy syndrome. And the reason I had this was one, because my dad was like this. So it was like kind of the masculine energy. That's how it was modeled to me growing up. But what I had to become aware of is that in so many ways I was abandoning myself I was so afraid that other people were gonna abandon me because I didn't feel worthy and I felt like there was something wrong with me that I was worried people were gonna leave. So I would sometimes overcompensate. But on the other side of that, I was abandoning myself in so many ways and I was losing my own frame so that I could make other people happy. And what that does is that repels people like no other. Because it's not rooted in its frame. So one of the main things you can do that will completely change your energy is start to more so embody your purpose, start to more so have that be the main focus of your life, because then what happens is you become the star in your own movie. If you're chasing someone else, then what is happening is you are becoming the cameo in their movie. They are the lead character. You feel like the cameo. And how does the star of a movie, how does the main character of a movie treat the cameo? It treats it as one of the people that is temporary in its life, temporary in a scene, and that is it. It is not something that becomes a priority. So the thing that you want to do and the cure to this whole entire process is shifting from being the cameo in someone else's movie to being the star of your own movie. And when you start to become the star of your own movie, I promise you other people will change and conform to that energy you're putting out because the way reality works is people respond to us based on the person we are playing. And even a step further beyond that is not even the person you're playing, but the person you are being. So if we're putting out an energy of desperation, It's like if you have this dog that's running around, if you have a dog and you start chasing the dog, even my cat outside, if I were to look at like start chasing him, he would start running from me because I'm chasing him and he starts to play the game. Animals are just playing off of the energy we're putting out. Have you ever heard that like animals even take on characteristics of their owners, personality quirks of their owners? It's because that's also the way reality works. Not that everyone's dogs and cats, but literally the way reality works is it is conforming to the energy we are putting out to the world and to the way we are being. And the challenge is that most people are chasing other people in their life because they simply haven't taken their power back and realize that they are the star of their own movie. They haven't started going after their purpose. They haven't made that the focus of their life. You know, everything in life also has no built-in meaning other than the meaning we give it. The idea of a rainy day has no positive meaning, no negative meaning other than what we choose it means. Now, in the same way, when we start finding the meaning in our life, Why are we here? What are we meant to be doing in our life? What ends up happening is we start to live according to certain virtues. We started to live on a certain path. We start to become the hero of our own movie. And when you start doing that, you will be more magnetic. The challenge is that when we're not doing that, we then look for meaning in other things. We start looking for meaning in somebody that we like or have a crush on. And then if they don't give that to us right away, then we start to chase it and that becomes the meaning of our life. That becomes the number one focus. And then what happens is that collapses polarity because when somebody is not in their true expression of who they are, when someone is not living in alignment with who they came here to be, what ends up happening is they are putting out the energy of neediness, of desperation. And also they're just not being the real them. They're not being their true selves. In my past relationships, anytime I've made someone the star of my movie and I become the cameo, everything falls apart. And not only that, but other parts of my life start to suffer. I know that when I used to do that, what would happen is I put the energy— it's almost like my business started to like not do as well. It was like I would find I had financial issues and stuff like that. And one of the reasons being is because there's a part of my life that is draining me of energy. It's taken me so much energy for me to prove myself. It's taken me so much energy to try to prove it to someone else that I'm actually good enough. And then I'm also being manipulative. This is also one of the things to realize, that if we're chasing, we're most likely changing our center of gravity to make someone else happy, to make someone else respect us. And by doing that, what ends up happening is we end up draining ourself of energy We lose our own frame. They feel that and then it pushes them away even more. But one of the things you want to do that will change everything is you start to bring your energy back to self. You start to bring your energy back and you start to focus on your own life because chasing someone else is a reflection of not being in your own grounded energy, of not being who you actually came here to be. And realize that when we're doing that too, it's a manipulative energy. Being the nice guy, the people pleaser, it's manipulation. It's trying to get something from someone else. People pleasers and nice guys want the validation and the approval of other people. And that was very hard for me to look at back in the day because I had to be very honest with myself and realize that I was not being authentic as much as I thought I was. And as I started to look at that, by the way, I started making a new choice about myself. Now, the transformation of this whole entire video, by the way, is realizing that transformation is 90% awareness and 10% making a new choice. So if you become aware of these shadowy aspects, if you become aware that maybe the energy you're putting out is repelling other people, if you become aware that you're being the cameo in someone else's movie instead of being the star of your own movie, then what ends up happening is you can then make a new choice about who you are and you can catch yourself when you begin to abandon yourself because that's really what this is all about. When we're being needy, we've already abandoned ourselves. That's the interesting thing about this whole process. When I was chasing and wanting and desiring from someone else, it was because I was feeling a bit— I didn't want them to abandon me. I didn't want them to leave me. But the interesting thing was that I'd already— the initial abandonment had already happened. I had already abandoned myself and I was pretending to be someone else and I was doing everything I can. So what I had to eventually do is I had to give up the fight. It got so tiring to be someone I thought everyone else wanted me to be. It got so tiring trying to prove myself, trying to gain people's respect and validation. That eventually all I had to do was become aware of it and then let it go and then start to make the choice to be the most unapologetic version of me. That's what changed everything. And this meant not just in my love life, this meant in every area of my life. I realized that I didn't, I was so afraid that people would abandon me that I would say yes to things that I didn't wanna do or that were extremely inconvenient that I did do. I'd go hang out with people and do things even when I had other things to focus on and I didn't really want to, but I was afraid I'd feel so guilty if I didn't go to a party or I didn't go out because it's almost like I would feel other people's emotions and if they weren't happy, then I wasn't happy. I was internalizing something about myself and thinking that that made the difference. Now it's funny, I had Jon Astoroff on my, uh, channel. I had a video with him yesterday. He said that we were talking about self-image, we're talking about identity, and one of the things he said that I found was interesting is if people are cold call people, people that do cold sales calls, they just call people and talk to them and try to get them to buy things. That requires a certain type of energy. Or if somebody is a door-to-door salesperson, that requires a certain amount of rejection that you can take. I used to work this at, uh, Barney's New York and there was on my lunch break I would see these people that were like selling cosmetic stuff and what their job was is there were always these Middle Eastern people that had like this, this steel level of self-image to where like they did not internalize things at all. So what they do is they would just stand there passing out these free samples and then they would get some old lady to want to try these free samples. They'd bring them into the store and sell them like 2, 3 grand worth of stuff, but literally they would get rejected like 100 times a day. Why were they able to do that? Because they did not internalize if somebody else did reject them and said no. If you go to a door-to-door sales team, door-to-door sales stuff, and you do not internalize getting rejected, you realize it has nothing to do with you, then you could do it much more because you realize that they're rejecting an idea. They are not rejecting you. That's what makes all the difference, because what happens is if we still think that this has to do with us, then we are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of other people abandoning us, and we then change our center of gravity. We try to be what everybody else wants us to be in order for us to get the validation, the love, the approval, the respect, or whatever it is. And then it drains us of energy, and people just don't respect that when someone's trying. But the key to this is not internalizing any of this. It's to realize that if somebody isn't talking to you, it's because it's not, it's not because you're not good enough. It's not because you're not worthy, you're not respectable. It's about realizing that's their stuff, not yours. They may be rejecting an idea and maybe, just maybe, maybe you're attracting people that are uninterested because that's fulfilling the self-limiting belief and loop. But if instead you started to realize your own power, you stopped abandoning yourself and doing what you wanted to do, you'd be more attractive, but also you wouldn't choose someone that's not interested. There's a familiar energy there. And like I said, this normally goes back to childhood where we had somebody that was maybe uninterested, emotionally unavailable, and that feels familiar and normal. But just like going door-to-door sales and realizing that if somebody rejects you, because they don't want your solar panels or your service or whatever it is. It has nothing to do with you. They're rejecting the idea. And in the same way, maybe the person that's uninterested in you that you feel like you're chasing, you don't have to prove it to them anymore. You can stop chasing them and realize they may be rejecting the idea of a relationship, or maybe a step further, maybe you were only attracted to them because they weren't uninterested. I know that sounds crazy to think of, but it feels familiar. So awareness is key here because the key to all of this is to start choosing ourselves and to start becoming the star of our own movie. Now, how do we become the star of our own movie instead of the cameo? The first step is to realize this: the script you were given is not static. The script you were given is not something that you have to live in accordance to. The script you are given is normally your past experience. Realize that you are also a co-creator in this experience, and many of the heroes we watch— there's a certain— if you watch any movie, there's a certain hero's journey people go through. They hear the call, and then sometimes what happens is they reject the call. They say, no, I'm not worthy of this, I'm not capable of doing this. But then eventually what they come to the conclusion to is that they're meant to call, they're meant to step into that power. They're meant to be the star of the movie. They're meant to be the main character. And then they do, and then they go on a journey and that's called the hero's journey. And maybe you're hearing this right now and realize you are being given the opportunity to become the star of your own movie and all you have to do is make the choice. That you are going to co-create your life rather than just accept the life you're given and think that that's who you are. If maybe something happened growing up or something happened, your parents divorced, whatever it is, and you decided, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me, that's not the case anymore. You can change the script. You can make a new choice about who you are and start to become the star of your own movie. And as you start to become the star of your own movie, you will start to feel empowered. You start to ask yourself new questions. Who am I and what do I want to go do? Who am I and what is my purpose in being here? And start to make the choice to live that. That will make you more attractive than anything else, and it doesn't even really have to do with the love. And here's the thing too, when you were doing what you are passionate about, you are in your most authentic frequency. And when you are in your most authentic frequency, you are most likely to attract somebody else that is in equal resonance. To that authentic frequency you're putting out. But when you're being somebody that's not the real you, you're gonna attract somebody else that is an equal match to that version of you that's not being the real you. So a lot of times what happens is if we are wanting the respect or the validation of somebody else and we're trying to change ourselves to get it, which is a form of manipulation and control to get our needs met, You will meet somebody else that is also living according to that credo, that is living according to that energy. They may also be manipulative, or they may also get the payoff of feeling that validation, or they may be reluctant to give it, but they're playing that game. So the key to this is to stop playing that game and then to instead start being the star of your own movie by making a new choice. And realizing that anything that happened when you were a kid, if your parents were emotionally unavailable or they physically abandoned you or they divorced or whatever it is, they were uninterested, that needy energy that you feel from that, realize that that was their stuff, not yours. You don't have to internalize it. Just like if you go door to door and somebody rejects you, it's not because you're not good enough. It's not because you're not worthy. It's just they simply had their own stuff going on too. Realize that about your parents. They had their own stuff going on. They were doing the best they could with the energy they're at and the level of consciousness they were at. And in the same way, if somebody is rejecting you that you're dating or whatever it is, realize that that's their stuff, not yours. Your part in it though is, is having the lack of boundaries and keep saying yes to someone that's not saying yes to you. The key to this is start to choose yourself because what I ended up doing is I started to choose myself. I started to go on my purpose. I started to then be more unapologetic about who I am and part of that meant setting boundaries with people and not feeling guilty. It was like a whole new world for me that I never knew I had the ability to express. I remember I had one friend I always had so much trouble setting boundaries with because he's so successful and he's I always saw him as just like on this pedestal and then I started to wake up when I was going through this realization and then all of a sudden I was able to, I decided I was going to set boundaries. I did that and afterwards I felt so empowered. Not only that, but that person respected me even more. So realize that when you're being the most authentic version of you and you start living according to the value and according to the energy that this is the most authentic version of me and I, I'm not attached to outcome, you will naturally be more magnetic. You will naturally have people coming to you, but get to the core of that childhood stuff. Recognize it, realize it has nothing to do with you, and then make the choice to be the star of your own movie. Start to go after what you're passionate about. Start to follow your excitement and start to be present to the moment. Don't do things because of what it gets you, because remember, that's manipulation. Do things because it's what you choose to do. And as you do that, you will naturally be more present to the moment. You can probably feel in this video it's been flowing. I've been really in the moment and maybe that's why you like listening to it or watching it. But if I was like, oh, how is everything going? Be feeling this needy energy. I'd be in my head about it. And when you're in your head, you're not as attractive as when you're in your body. The key to this is becoming what is called embodied. You want to be embodied when you are embodied in your purpose. When you've let go of codependent energy, when you are being in your own frame, which is an energy exercise that I've learned that's changed everything, it will change everything about you. When you are embodied, you are more magnetic than you can even imagine. Now, one of the main parts of this process is increasing your level of confidence. And there's a video I have, which is one of the most powerful videos that I put out. It is 5 Secrets of Confidence That Will Make You Attractive AF. Click that video here, watch it. It will build on everything we're talking about and you will be even more magnetic after you watch it. People feel what you feel about you. The energy inside of our bodies are contagious and based on how we feel about ourselves, that energy is being emanated out and other people