STOP CHASING: how to LET GO & attract the LOVE you want...

In this video, I'm gonna be going deep on showing you how people are literally mirroring your subconscious mind, how what you believe about you, people are literally playing out those energy dynamics. So if you have the energy of believing people don't stick around, believing that you're too much, believing that people don't choose you, they will literally play that out because it's in your subconscious mind. And what happens is when you shift the energy in your subconscious mind, people begin to reflect something new back to you. So in this video, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna go deep on understanding the different aspects of the subconscious Understanding what Carl Jung talks about when it comes to the psyche and archetypes and how people many times are replaying unresolved energy patterns over and over again. And this will explain why you attract certain people into your life, why you block deeper connections from your life. You're gonna be learning how to connect to more emotional availability as well. And how this completely shifts when you begin to embody this energy inside of you. We're gonna be talking about different Q, I do a whole Q&A. This is a Q&A that was done on Instagram and then recorded in high definition where I answer as many questions as I can. And we go through a whole journey of learning about these different facets of the subconscious mind, how to shift the energy, and how you can then start to really see a new mirror effect in reality. So I really recommend that you watch this whole video all the way through. There's different nuggets at different points. It's a whole entire, you'll see there's times towards the later half where you'll see there's different things that we play off of when it comes to identity level transformation. So if you wanna shift your identity from the inside out, shift the subconscious mind from the old familiar stories to see life completely shift on the outside, then let's get into this video right now. We don't necessarily get what we consciously want because what we consciously want is conscious. But remember, subconscious runs 95% of our life or more. So you can consciously want emotional availability, but subconsciously or unconsciously, may believe that you're not worthy of it. You may believe that that would be overwhelming if you actually had someone that was emotionally available with you. Now, the thing to become aware of in this is also that it is a mirror. Now, this is hard for some people to hear because people that say they attract emotionally unavailable people believe wholeheartedly they are 100% emotionally available. But if you're attracting emotionally unavailable people and that has become familiar, there is an aspect of your psyche, an aspect of your subconscious that is emotionally unavailable and finds comfort in that energy. So the thing to become aware of here when it comes to emotional unavailability is that it is also a mirror for a subconscious part of yourself where it feels familiar to have that lack of emotional availability. So of course, one of the most powerful aspects of this many times is getting to the inner child work of looking at your own inner child and allowing that inner child within you to be seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. And when you do that, you begin to shift, you begin to see a part of yourself that normally didn't feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. Now, here's the thing. If there's an aspect of the subconscious that has normalized not feeling seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured, it's like that subconscious part of you is attracting people into your life to reflect that pattern back. Because ultimately what we do is we attract people that reflect back the unresolved energy from childhood. Because subconsciously in our nervous system, we're looking for resolve. We're looking to heal. So what happens is people in your life are reflecting back that energy. So the key is, well, how do I stop that pattern? Well, you first have to become aware that it is a pattern. It is a pattern. So here's the power of this. That pattern is not who you are. Can you maybe see where you picked up that pattern, where that pattern felt familiar? And maybe, by the way, if mom or dad was not physically or emotionally available when you were a kid, Maybe what happened is you took on certain beliefs. Maybe one of those beliefs was, I have to earn love. Maybe one of those beliefs was that mom or dad think I'm too much. Maybe I should just go play by myself. So what happens is these beliefs are on autopilot all the way back from childhood. And then if you believe that men or women can't mirror back the emotional availability that you want to embody, if you believe that all men are a certain way, all women are a certain way, what happens is you are projecting that onto external reality. This is hard to admit, by the way, for many people that also had and were, had certain injustices when they were a kid. Certain things that happened where there is like maybe an aspect of that inner child that feels victim and feels like this wasn't fair and this happened to me. The challenge is that if you carry that with you years later, what you will find is that you continue to create those dynamics over and over again because you do get a payoff for being right. So when we talk in general about how to shift subconscious patterns, one of the most powerful ways to shift the subconscious pattern is to become aware, one, that it is a pattern, it's not who you are, but two, what is the energetic payoff you get from it? Now, an energetic payoff is like this thing you do that you can get a payoff for being right. Like if you go home or you are at work and you're complaining about the corporate politics, or you're complaining about how slow it is, that complaining energy, that drama energy, you may actually be getting a payoff for. Say, this isn't fair, I don't wanna be here. There's a payoff. And a lot of times people aren't aware of the subconscious payoff they're getting. So what if you're attracting emotionally unavailable people because also you get to be right about reality. You get the payoff. See, people can't meet my needs. See, people aren't emotionally unavailable. People are emotionally unavailable. Like these, see, the stories I had that were familiar from childhood are true. Do you see this? It's so important to become aware of these patterns that they are patterns that you may have picked up the pattern, but that now you get a payoff from the pattern. Let's be honest, you are getting a payoff from that pattern. The payoff might be you get to stay single. You get to stay with people that can't actually meet your needs. And you're like, what, Aaron? That makes no sense. Like, I want, I consciously want loving relationship. I want loving relationship, but I attract emotional unavailability. But there's this idea in psychology that comes from Adlerian psychology that has to do with these subconscious goals that we have. So there may actually be a subconscious goal around staying single or a subconscious goal around being with emotionally unavailable people because you get to continue to play the game. Now you're like, Aaron, what are you talking about? What game? I don't wanna play games. You get to play the game of the story that you get to prove yourself, that you must overgive, that people can't meet your needs. But really it's because there's a disowned part of your own subconscious that you are not meeting their needs of your own inner child. So your inner child says, Okay, if you're not gonna meet my needs, I'm gonna go get it from outside. I'm gonna go try to find it in people over here. Does this make sense? So literally, if you aren't present with your inner child, what'll happen is you will project that out into the world and say, okay, reality, meet my needs. Meet my needs. Everybody, whoever you're dating, your boss, your coworkers, your team, like whatever, you'll be looking for resolve there because you're not looking at the inner child inside of you that feels unresolved from childhood. So the thing to realize with emotional unavailability is what you also get to do is own the pattern. It's a pattern. It's not who you are, but own it. Own that it's there. Recognize that there is a mirror reflection here and there's an aspect of your subconscious that you have not been emotionally available to, and begin to give that aspect of your subconscious that emotional availability. Now, emotional availability is also where you begin to express yourself. Because prior, if you believe that love is earned, if you believe you have to overgive in order to be worthy or whatever your rules are to be worthy, you're literally dispersing your energy out of you and you're playing a game that other people, you're attracting people to play that game. So if you were to go to someone that's emotionally available, you'd be like, okay, you wanna play the game? We're gonna play a game where I prove myself to you. The person that's emotionally available is like, what are you talking about? I don't play that game. I'm not gonna play a game with you that I don't feel like playing. You're like, yeah, well, I've been playing this game my entire life. I'm gonna be emotionally, no, this is this game we play where I prove my worthiness to you. I didn't feel worthy when I was a kid, but I wanna prove it to you. And that emotionally available person is like, I don't wanna play that game. You're like, "Why? It's the only game I know how to play." It's like you're playing Uno or something. You're like, "I know how to play Uno." This person's like, "Let's play chess." "No, I just play Uno." Reverse. So do you see the energy here? It's like there's an aspect of this when people talk about emotional availability where it's like on one aspect, it could be a selection thing where you're picking people that are emotionally unavailable, but you're picking them because there's a subconscious part of you where that feels familiar. It feels like that's what you're worthy of. And honestly, you get payoffs for believing it too. You get to continue playing the game, but shifting doesn't happen. Transforming your life doesn't happen until you own the pattern. It's still a pattern, by the way. It's not you, but then you can do something with it. And something I recommend you do is you begin to meet your inner child, to see, hear, soothe, and nurture the inner child part of you that didn't, that felt like they were too much. Maybe they felt like they had to earn love. Who do I have to be? Does this make sense? So understand that this is all a reflection. Now let's take this a step further. I have some, I have some questions here. I took a whole bunch of, I screenshotted them and okay, here's another question based on the whole subconscious mind, Carl Jung, psyche thing. It's more shadow work, deep, deep, deep, more depthy. Angles here. Someone says, what can someone do if their ex comes into their mind out of the blue? What it might mean. Well, what it means is you need to text them right now. They're coming into your mind because you need to text them and you need to see what they're doing and you need to get back with them. Of course, I'm being sarcastic here. Now, very often, remember what I said earlier, unresolved energy from the past we attract people that reflect back that unresolved energy. Now, some of the deeper connections that you have in your life or some things that you label as deep or that had a very powerful impact on you, many times that may linger in your consciousness. And the reason it's lingering in your consciousness is because there's energy still there to be processed. Now here's the thing that a lot of people get tripped up on. They think it's personal. They think that this person is coming into my mind. I can't stop thinking about them. As this question says, I must reach out to them. What does it mean? Understand that this person represents a pattern that may feel familiar, or it's a pattern that may be unresolved. You could also say that this person is a symbol of a certain aspect of your psyche. Now, this is where it gets tricky when we talk about attracting love, because many times the things that we are attracted to in other people, there's different aspects of energy that go on there. There could be actual like chemistry or spiritual depth. The other aspect of this though, someone else may have certain characteristics that you feel you don't have. You may feel there's aspects of them that you feel you have underdeveloped in you. So there may be some very charismatic person or something that you dated, and then you're like, oh, they were just so charismatic, they were just so this, they were so confident, and that reflects back a disowned part of you. And the story you have about them is something that keeps you tied and attached when actually there's some resolve there that can be had when you start to realize that they are also a symbol for your own consciousness. Now when we talk about the mirror effect of reality, that everything in our external reality is a reflection of our internal reality, this goes quite deep. Because people in your life, yes, there's a spiritual soul connection there. I'm not someone that's saying like, you'll see some like spiritual rabbit holes or whatever you call it. Rabbit, what do you call that? People go down these rabbit holes where it's like they're NPCs, non-player characters. They don't really exist. They're just there for you because you are the actual soul of reality. Well, In certain ways, we're all one consciousness, but I think then we also get tied up into this whole like spiritual hierarchy, ego gratification. But it's about realizing that other people are reflecting back energy that's inside of you. So very often it is this, this pattern, this energy, this symbol What does it symbolize to you? In what ways can you own instead of disowning parts of yourself? How can you own other aspects of you? I can absolutely see how certain people, both the people that have triggered me the most in my life and the people that I've been the most connected to, there's aspects of both of them that go into subconscious patterns where I can see, oh, what I really was triggered by in this person was something that I didn't wanna look at inside of myself. Where am I being this way? And the same side, there may be things that you really resonate with in people that you may really admire. They're reflecting back what's inside of you. That power is inside of you. Does this make sense? So if you're here right now and you asked a question, also feel free to put it in the Q&A section. I have a list of questions I'm gonna start going through here in a moment. The thing is, is I was hoping that because, I was hoping that because I did this yesterday that all of them, all the questions would be there. 'Cause there's literally a lot. There were like over 100 questions. But what I did is I screenshotted them and I circled some of them as well so that I can, more easily see them. You know what I mean? Okay, so if you have your question, you're here right now. We've got about 500 people here. Let's, let's put the questions there. How about that? Someone says, how do I get over my attachment to my therapist? I feel like I'm in love with her. I'm a woman and I'm heterosexual, so it's confusing. Well, first off, let me say that I am not a therapist, and I want to start off by saying that because I don't want to give advice that, you know, I don't know the exact condition that you have or what you're going to therapy for. However, what I will say is very common is that when you're going to therapy, there's a certain safe space that's created that many times some people may have never experienced in their entire life. So what happens is because someone may not be used to someone else and being in that safe energy, there is this emotional connection that happens that may feel very, maybe not as familiar, but it might feel different than anything else. And that can absolutely be interpreted as this loving connection. Now, what happens a lot though with therapists, even with what I do on, on, on YouTube and live events is energy can get projected at the person, which is reflecting back the energy that's inside of them. So there's stories that are added to it. There is an emotional connection and an emotional attachment there because of that energy, because of that safe space. So what I'd recommend you do is You look at what that attachment is showing you. Maybe just what I mentioned a moment ago might be part of the pattern too. It could be the idea that what this person represents to you is certain repressed or suppressed energy or certain characteristics that may be disowned inside the self. So you could in a way become the inner therapist to yourself. Now I'm not saying don't go to therapy because I don't know why you're feeling called to it. And also I think it's a very beneficial thing to go to therapy. But what I'm saying is become aware of what we're talking about when it comes to projection. What if it's not this person, but what if it's this person and a symbol they represent to you? What if it's a symbol? So in a certain way, you may be attracted to the symbol. And what does that symbol mean to you? And how can you embody that within yourself instead of believing the false story that this person has something you don't have? So you also wanna become aware of, is there a pattern there with being attached? Like sometimes what'll happen is someone may, let go of something in a certain area of their life, and they find that that trickles into another area of their life where it's like a new energetic tie is coming in to play out a certain pattern, to play out a certain game. Does that make sense? So maybe, is there some area or some pattern in your life where that is now getting projected onto them? Does that make sense? So that's something, that's something that you wanna be aware of. But the fact that you're asking the question means there's a certain level of awareness there. Also something you could look up psychology-wise or understanding, something called limerence, L-I-M-E-R-A-N-C-E. That's a whole pattern that has to do with kind of that projection energy. So that's a good question though. And I think there was a question in here about that, so I think that was a version of that. So, let's see. Let's see. Let me go through here, and then I'll jump back and forth between these questions and the questions in here. Because I wanna honor that so many people put in questions. Limerence, yeah. How to let the divine flow through in live events, how to open up more and stay in complete trust. That's the interesting thing. You know, back in the day when I run live events, I'd put so much pressure on myself to like come up with like lists of what I'm gonna talk about and have like papers and papers full of stuff. And that was like a safety net in case I forgot what I was gonna mention. But what happened more recently is that the last one I did in LA, I had zero things planned. I just showed up for 2 days straight and did a lot of hot seat coaching and stuff. But what I've learned is I've learned how to trust the unknown. It's where all magic happens anyways. So it's like, I don't, and it takes a lot of the pressure off because I'm trusting the unknown, but it's also like I'm trusting the energy to flow through because my intention is to add value. So the key is when you, I was actually listening to Tony Robbins talk to Jordan Peterson about this last night in a podcast on Jordan Peterson's podcast. And he was talking about how Tony does what he does at his live events. And Jordan Peterson was talking about how he thinks about the, you know, the crowd at the live events. And what they both agreed on is they have a certain aim, a certain intention, a certain focus of what you want people to receive. Now, even if you're not running live events, by the way, you can apply this in towards any area of your life. Like, what is the intention or the aim that you have? And when it's a pure intention, what happens, and you see it, like you see people as receiving that and it's a beneficial thing for them, it's like the energy flows through. So it's a very interesting thing where it's like, Tony even mentioned this. He's like, it's not— he's not the one doing the live event. It's flowing through him. He calls it grace. In the same way, even when I do live events, it's like the more I can get out of my way and get into a flow state and just, and just have the intention of adding value to those there, the more things just happen. Now what's interesting is that every single one of you has a flow state. That you can begin to get into. And when you're in that flow state, there's very little— there's very little ego figuring things out and controlling. It's just happening. So what you want to do is you want to become aware of how do I get into that flow state. The divine flows. And here's the funny thing: the divine is flowing through you regardless. The divine is always there. Now, are you aware of it? Are you allowing it to carry you? The last thing I'll close on this idea, this thread of the whole live event thing, is if your intention is in adding value to other people, your intention is outside of yourself in the sense that it's going towards the people. So if you're in your head, it's survival mode. How are people thinking of me? Am I saying the right thing? When you make it about, adding value to them, the energy is going outwards and it's almost like you don't have, the energy is not being condensed in the head. You can always remember that because one of the biggest fears people have is around public speaking, but it's not about you. It's only about you if once you get through that, realizing it's not about you, it's about them, it kind of, it just flows through. So anyways, Let's see, there's some other questions here. Okay, so I did answer the one on the therapy, the therapist thing. That was a question in here. Let's see. Let's see. Okay, some interesting questions. I don't say that in a judgmental way. I just say they're— some of them are kind of interesting. Awesome. How do you guys like doing this, by the way? We've got like 500 people here right now. It's kind of cool, huh? Cool energy. Can you guys feel the energy? How do you overcome the feeling of regret and self-punishment for for the things you did wrong in your life. You know, it's interesting because the things that you did wrong, it's assuming that they were wrong in the sense that it didn't lead to something positive. Maybe you learned from it. Maybe you had to learn, maybe you went through a theme of forgiving yourself. We never know, you know, things, we understand things when we look back, But when we're in it, we can, we can look back and we can judge, but that's also a perspective. So the feeling of regret or self-punishment— understand, people are always doing the best they can with the level of consciousness they're at. Because you have a different perspective now means you grew. That self-judgment will just keep the pattern inside your energy field of judgment, of regret, which will then keep attracting to you more of that energy. But maybe, just maybe, part of it is just letting yourself feel that energy, to feel the regret and to be present with it. And what's funny is the more you allow yourself to feel, the more that energy can then begin to Heal more than it could begin to heal. Isn't it crazy how when you get into a flow state, time just goes away? I think it's been like 30 minutes already. Is that, is that true? Is that true? Time flies. Time flies when you're having fun. Let's see. Okay, there's some other good questions in here. Let me go, let me, let me find some. How to release parents' stories and fears around money. So understand that this works whether we're talking about money, whether we're talking about, um, love or any of the patterns that you may recognize in your parents, first off, recognize it's their pattern. Maybe it's a pattern you also took on because it was the path of least resistance and you were surrounded by it as a kid. Now, one of the things that's very interesting to talk about around money is that there's these things in a that I've learned about about a year ago when I was studying this more of like family constellation therapy and like letting go of ancestral energy. And basically it was that certain emotions and certain energies that we have, there is this loyalty that we subconsciously have to our parents. They're called hidden loyalties. So what happens is maybe you're trying to let go of your parents' limiting stories about money and maybe the judgments about money or what it means to have money. And maybe what's happening is there's this also this subconscious loyalty where there's this fear around having more than your parents. My parents had to suffer to get me to go to college or to wherever, whatever you experienced in your life. So if they had to suffer me being in happiness, me being in abundance, I don't wanna reflect that back to them. They will then feel like they did something wrong with their life or they will judge me the same way they judged money. So what if subconsciously, and by the way, this can also work with relationships. If you had parents that didn't have a happy relationship or things ended, you may be getting into a healthy relationship and a part of you may be like afraid that you're bragging by talking about how great everything is going, which sounds silly 'cause it's like, you're like, well, I know logically maybe my parents want me to be happy, but at the same time, there may be a part of you that doesn't want to reflect back to them that maybe they made the wrong choice, not the wrong choice, but maybe they didn't have what you have. Like my friend, this reminds me of my friend, my best friend Victor. He and his wife and kids moved out of Michigan and they lived there for their whole life. And then they went and they got in like a little RV and they traveled and then they eventually ended up in, San Diego, then Vegas. Now they live in Austin. And anytime he goes back to Michigan, he'll see a whole bunch of family members and friends. And there is this energy where they may feel like he represents the one that did what they didn't have the courage to do. He left the hometown. He didn't wanna be there. He's in Austin where it's like probably 80 degrees right now. Maybe it's not, but that may reflect back to other people that he left. And there was also this, guilt is a form of control, right? So what happens is sometimes family members, friends will subconsciously use that to keep you where you are. Like, have you ever had it where maybe two people, one person wants to start getting in shape, like friends. One person wants to start getting in shape. The other person's maybe a little bit overweight or unhealthy and the person starts getting in shape and the other person's like, maybe like, who do you think you are? Look at you going to the gym, trying to eat healthy, trying to do this, trying to do that. You're just too cool for us. And that might be the subconscious way of like having, being funny, but also it's, there's a shadow aspect in there where it's being used as control because they don't want you subconsciously maybe to actually succeed 'cause they're afraid they're gonna get left. This reminds me of an episode of Family Guy. Used to watch Family Guy back in the day. There was this episode where Joe, who is this cop that doesn't have use of his legs and is in a wheelchair, And what happens is he's with Peter and Quagmire and Cleveland, these, these other characters. And there's a surgery where he gets his legs back. And all of a sudden he's got his legs back. He's like, I want to go rock climbing. I want to go do this. I want to go play sports. I want to go do all this cool stuff. And what happens is because all of a sudden he had all these other things to go do, he, his friends were left. He basically left his friends. Because he was cool now and he was able to do all these things that it was almost like they were only friends because he had this limitation of being a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. And then all of a sudden he's living life in this, all this, this whole new way. Now I share this story because often as you also upgrade and become this new version of you and step into your power, What might be happening is that other people may be afraid of that. Other people may assume that and maybe say things or subconsciously judge you even. And if you let that affect you, you can let it stop you. But you can also recognize that's their stuff, not yours. I'm not saying to be judgmental back, like, oh, well, I'm sorry for trying to be healthy. I see you as somebody that's unhealthy. No, I'm just saying you, you bring your energy back and you see that as their stuff, not yours. Now when it comes to how to release your parents' stories around fears around money, that's their stuff, not yours. But is there a hidden loyalty here? Something to be mindful of. I've had, I've had times in my own past where as I was becoming successful, And I went from living at my dad's house to living with roommates to having my own house to having like nicer houses. And I remember family members coming over to visit me and feeling like certain siblings might think I'm egotistical now that I have money. There was an— there was a part of me that actually hid my success from certain family members just because I didn't want them to feel small. I have a whole story about it. I'm not gonna go into it right now, but I basically like pretended like it wasn't, this house wasn't my house because I didn't want someone in my family to think that I was actually doing, I was actually successful. And I was like, no, I have roommates, don't worry. But what part of me was afraid to shine? And then I eventually owned it. And I remember like a year later, I'm like, I can't hide this. And I, 'cause I lived in a bigger house at that moment. And then I was like, I can't, I'm not even gonna try to, I processed this part of my shadow. But then what happened is I just like owned it and it wasn't even a big deal. It was more of my own projection. Does that make sense? But we have these hidden loyalties, these subconscious energies. So also what is the payoff of judging money or judging people with money? One of the payoffs is you get to stay in lack. You get to stay being right about reality. See all these people that have to do all these things to make money because they— some people believe money is evil instead of seeing money as a symbol, which is what it is. It's a symbol of a value of exchange. And ultimately, your money is a reflection of how worthy you feel. And what you believe you deserve. So this is where you also can begin looking at that. Does that make sense? How do you release the feelings that family doesn't think you can succeed? Well, I have had that happen. I've had people from my past when I was first getting on YouTube that were making fun, like in a playful way, but like, are you gonna go make videos for your 30 subscribers? I heard about people from my past that were like mimicking or mocking my videos where, 'cause in my videos, my earlier videos, I'd say, my name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. And then I heard about someone from my past, somebody told me that this person's like, oh, Aaron Doughty, I help people expand their consciousness. And I remember hearing that and I was like, If anything, it actually drove me. Not that was the only thing that drove me, but I was like, oh. I wasn't like, oh, I should be small and like who? And there was honestly some self-reflection there where I'm like, someone might say like, you gonna go make YouTube videos for your 32 subscribers? Which at one point I had like 32 subscribers and I was making videos, like trying to like grow. And I had to be like, am I? Am I gonna keep making videos for my 32 subscribers? But I was like, no, this is what I'm passionate about. I see the vision. There's a song by, I forget the exact song, but Common, he's a Chicago rapper from back in the day. He's still around, I'm sure. But anyways, he has a song where he talks about, it always kind of stuck to me. He did a song where he's talking about like, before other people could believe in me, I had to believe in me. And I always resonate with that because it really was like, as I was growing on YouTube, it was like I wanted, what I wanted was like, if I told someone, oh, I'm making videos on YouTube, they'd be like, that's awesome, encouraging, you can do it, blah, blah, blah. But it was like, I was also saying it to like, and I could see sometimes when I would say it that there'd be like this, I could either feel the judgment or I could just feel there wasn't that like, oh, okay, good for you. Almost like I was looking for the confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. But what eventually happened is the more on my path I became, the more I was adding value, the more I got into the process, what eventually ended up happening that was interesting is the less I cared at all whether people resonated with my content or not, especially friends or family or whatever, the more that then they would come around and be like, what you're doing is really cool. Wow, that's awesome. Wow, Aaron's really grew. You know, then of course some people are like, I knew he was doing, make it. But what's interesting is the more successful, but you know what's funny is the more successful I've become, the less attached I am to what people think or to the outcomes of certain things happening. And then the better the results are anyways. Now I will say too, I'm not perfect at this. There are times where I put something out. There are times I put out a piece of content that gets a lot of feedback. 'Cause the thing is, is the most viral pieces of content get the most feedback, both positive and negative. And there are times I'm looking at that, I'm like, do I internalize this or not? Is this true or not? And there are certain things I look at even when I'm like asking people questions, even on Instagram and stuff like that, where I get feedback and I'm really looking at myself. Now, I'm also aware that sometimes when I ask for questions, certain people, Certain things will be projected onto me, but I'm also willing to look at things. I'm like, is this true? Sometimes there are seeds of truth in things I don't like hearing or seeing, but I believe that part of really growing is being vulnerable enough to look at that. Yeah, so that's how you, around family that thinks you, if your family doesn't think you can succeed, you can choose to internalize that or not and realize you don't need them to believe in you for you to succeed. You don't. You do not need them to believe in you. It is nice, but the funny thing is, is the less you care whether they believe in you or not, and the more you're doing your own thing, you see, there's that vibration of controlling and desiring someone else's approval and validation. And then there's the energy of just being in yourself, being in your purpose, being in your passion. And when you're in that energy, it's attractive, it's magnetic, and it's an energy flow that people can then see. And the funny thing is they can validate and approve of you. It doesn't really make a difference either way. Like, what would you rather? Would you rather you put in energy and it doesn't go anywhere, but you have your parents and your families like approval, or they don't approve of you, but you're passionate about it and you like it, and you're able to create momentum. Like imagine, like in our minds we think, oh, once I have all of this, like if once I get family's validation and approval, once my mom or my dad appreciates me and is proud of me, once this happens, once this happens, then I'll feel good enough, then I'll feel worthy and I'll feel validated. But it's like an inner child part of us that wants mommy and daddy to say, go for it, you can do it. And I'm— what I'm saying is there's an inner child part of you that you could begin to be with, to be present with, to help to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. But even if you did get all of that, imagine all of the people in your family are around you right now. Like, imagine you're like, okay, Aaron, I want to make videos. I'm like, okay, go make YouTube videos. And then you go make videos and like you're in front of your living room and you're like, in this video I'm going to be sharing XYZ with you. And imagine all your family members surrounded going, yeah, that's great. You did awesome. Oh my God, that's the best idea I ever heard. Whoa. And everyone's like celebrating, jumping up and down. Maybe part of you is like, I'm worthy. I'm enough. But understand that's a fleeting thing that will go away. That feeling will go away because you realize it's coming from the external, but what's more important is what comes from the internal. That's why it's important to question why you want what you want. Why do you want what you want? Why? Why? Why do you want what you want? Do you really want, like you could say, I want, like some people be like, I just want everyone to like me. I wanna be approved of. And then it's like, okay, magic wand. Okay, you are now Justin Bieber level of famous. And then Justin Bieber can't do anything. He can't literally do anything without getting bombarded with paparazzi, with people that want something from him. Of course, that's the extreme side of the coin. However, do you really want it? Because I bet you what he wants is he wants— he would probably give up anything to be able to go back into society, like walk around, no one coming up to him like wanting things from him. You always want what you can't have. You can have it, but you might find it's not— it's not what actually is going to make you happy. It's kind of like that Jim Carrey thing where Jim Carrey says, I wish everyone could become super successful, super famous, and super rich so that they can realize it's not what really matters. And then there's a Les Brown quote that's like, "Well, you gonna try anyways. That ain't gonna stop you from trying, is it?" Everyone hears that and they're like, "Yeah, that's a great spiritual idea." But they're like, "But how can I get there?" I want to find out for sure. Isn't that funny? We all do that in our own way, but the key is not believing that external destination is the happiness. It's here right now. It's falling in love with the process. How can I raise my vibration when having to go to a toxic job every day that brings me down? You know, for a long time when I was making videos, on YouTube and I first started, it took, in February 2017, I started making daily videos. I lived at my dad's house and I worked a 9 to 5 job for years selling women's shoes. And I didn't put in my 2 weeks till August of 2017. So it took me about 6 months to go full-time. In that 6 months, I focused on still being present when I was at my job. And what happened is I also had to become aware of my beliefs about the job as well. Because if I— it's true, there were people at my— at that 9-to-5 job selling women's shoes I did not like. There were upper management I straight up just did not like. I didn't get along with them. I thought they were power trippers. I could have been also projecting some of the stuff from childhood onto them, but it was a unanimous— like, literally, the company I worked for at Barney's New York, we tried getting a union in there to make things fair, and we almost got it to go through. And then a year later, Barney's went out of business. So kind of says a lot. But anyways, one thing I had to become aware of is whether I was gonna let that affect my energy or not. Now, what I eventually did is I used the leverage of that job I did not enjoy to start going after my passion. I used that leverage to put my energy in what I'm really passionate about. So one thing I'd recommend you do is you can also use that as leverage to start focusing on what you're actually passionate about. And maybe that toxic energy, I've coached, I remember I was coaching someone recently who was in a certain job, certain managers that were certain dynamic. She then like healed a certain aspect of herself. She stood up and expressed herself in a certain situation and got fired like that. At first she was kind of like, why did I get fired for this? I mean, like, did I do something wrong? But then she had all these other opportunities to go into, but it's like literally that old dynamic did not resonate because she integrated it. And part of her integrating it was her standing up for herself and standing in her power and having the self-worth to knowing there's other things out there that she could begin to focus on. And there's trust that probably had to do with that as well, of course. But nonetheless, understand that the beliefs about it, like there was a moment I was going into work and I was like, it's so slow, why am I here? I could be making videos. But I would just focus on being present. And I would then enjoy, is because I was also following the passion of making videos and I was passionate about that, it's like that became my dominant reality. That became my dominant reality, even though I was only spending maybe 30, 25 hours a week making videos and working 40 hours a week selling shoes. That became my dominant reality, like energetically, and it took over to where eventually I put in my 2 weeks. Someone says, having a hard time overcoming the fear to let go of a partner that does not serve me. What can I do to overcome and let him go? Well, first off, your partner is serving you in some way. It may be serving you to become aware that there's energy dynamics that are out of alignment and may be serving you to become aware that you might want to let this pattern go. And your attachment is the payoff. It's the payoff that is keeping you in familiar energy. So to overcome that, understand, kind of, this kind of is talking about the loop we talked about in the beginning of this live where we recognize that people, if there's unresolved energy inside of our field, we attract people that reflect back these energy patterns. That are— that because we want closure from these energy loops from childhood. So remember, this person, it's not just this person. This person also might be a symbol of a certain type of energy. This can make it easier to let go of because you recognize there is a pattern there. There's a person there as well, but where and what How is this relationship serving you right now? And what is deeper here for you to look at energetically? That's the question you wanna ask yourself. But realize it's serving you. It just might be serving you up until a certain point, and then you learn the lesson. Maybe things have to get, and maybe part of it, by the way, doesn't mean you just have to leave immediately. Maybe part of it is you express yourself. You say what's on your mind or what's coming up for you, and you see if this person can be there with that with you. And if not, that result, that moves the energy. And if yes, it also begins to clear the energy, but also become aware that if there's a fear of letting go of someone that is not serving you, What might be familiar to you is someone that's not serving you. So the fear is letting go of that familiar pattern, letting go of what you know, and then being with your own energy. Does that make sense? Now, inner child work, I think, is some of the most powerful where you begin to see, hear, soothe, and nurture the part of yourself that feels fearful, that is afraid of the unknown. What do you think the biggest key to growing your self-esteem is? I believe that it's when you feel the fear, you do it anyways. A lot of times people will let fear hold them back from putting themselves out there. People will let fear keep them where they are when fear is there. And when you begin moving through it, you begin to redefine yourself. You begin to see that a lot of it is just a mental mind chatter. And then it's no, you're no longer afraid of it. Like the more YouTube videos I've made, the more familiar it becomes. And then there's not fear. Whereas when I first started, there was fear. What are people gonna think? What if I say the wrong thing? And then now as I'm consistently running live events, the more I do, the more it's like excitement, but my identity is shifting. So this is also where we begin to realize you don't get in life that which you consciously want because your subconscious is running most of your life, but you do get in life who you are being. And where a lot of people experience challenges is they focus on behavior and symptoms and not their energy of who they are being. Now, if you think you are your past patterns, if you think you are these labels of emotionally unavailable, the wounded child or the wounded healer, or all these little things, all these names, even the attachment to the labels of, Avoidant, anxious, secure. People didn't have other ones or they're just disorganized. All these other ones, those are also labels. It could become aware of where a pattern is, but you are not the pattern. So a big powerful part comes when you begin changing and letting go of past identities that keep you in familiar territory and you begin to become more free. Does this make sense? Part of your identity may be what we're mentioning, might be emotionally unavailable, and then you attract that because it's a mirror. It might be these, these other aspects inside of yourself that maybe you're not aware of. So anyways, let me know if you enjoyed this live. You know what I used to love back in the day is back in the day, the chat would come with it so that when you're coming through, you're watching it later, it's like a whole live experience again. I used to go live a lot. I don't go live that much anymore. I go live like once a week, but maybe we'll start doing this once a week and I'll do Q&A. Ah, going to hyperbaric chamber in a little bit. I gotta eat. I wanna thank you all for being here. There's a video on YouTube coming out that is on a whole entire 40-minute segment from this one video that I had on YouTube that got over a million views from the LA live event I did a year and a half ago. It's on healing the inner child, understanding the first 5 years of your life and how that impacts your life, like patterning. I had a session from a guy named Dr. Mark Woolam who wrote the book, "It Didn't Start With You." So I share what I learned in this session. It also talks about empaths, narcissists. Other than that, I wanna thank you all for being here. And if you submitted a question, I didn't answer it, I'll be doing more of these, okay? Thank you all for all the questions. There were a ton of them. Thank you guys all for being here. Appreciate your time and your energy, all 500-ish of you. It's awesome that we have such a group energy going. And yeah, other than that, appreciate you all. And as always, peace, much love. And namaste. So empaths, people that can feel other people's energy. This is both a superpower and sometimes a curse on the other side of the spectrum.