Stop Choosing Love That Doesn't Choose YOU (The Cure)

Stop choosing people that are not choosing you in return. If you find that you are attracting either emotionally unavailable people that don't want to get close, or you're attracting people that don't want to commit to you, then it is due to a childhood wound that I'm gonna be talking about in this video. And if you change this one thing, it will change the whole entire energy dynamic. But also, I'm going to explain to you why you may keep attracting this energy dynamic where people aren't choosing you and how you can change that in the most powerful way. I've learned this recently and it has completely transformed not only my outer reality with my dating life and just love in general, but also my inner reality and how I carry myself. So in this video, we're going to talk about that right now. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you why you may be attracting people that are not choosing you, and why does that happen? Why that be? Now this is something I realized actually right over here. There's this— there's— I'm in Sedona and I'm looking, there's this patio that's looking out. I was talking to a buddy Victor of mine, and we were talking about some of my old relationships and past like patterns that I've experienced. And it was so obvious how it was a complete reenactment of this childhood experience that I had when I was a kid where things happened to where, you know, it's very common that we have parents that may be emotionally unavailable. So what happens is we have a parent or parents that are emotionally unavailable because they're going through their own processes. It's not really their fault. Normally they also had emotionally unavailable parents as well. So that's why they are that way. But nonetheless, I found that because of that energy dynamic when I was a kid of craving, I guess, that nurturing or that attention or that kind of like that, that just energy in general of that nurturing, that love, that what I did is that, that energy felt familiar. So what I would do is I would attract women into my life that wouldn't necessarily choose me, or they would have these big like intimacy blocks, or they'd have their own stuff going on to where that they wouldn't wanna commit. And I had to say, why is that? And in an epiphany, in a realization, I realized that it's the same exact energy dynamic from when I was a kid, from when I was looking. Imagine we're like these little babies and we're like looking up and we're like looking at our mom or looking at our dad and we're just like, goo goo ga ga, like that. And then imagine at a certain point, your mom or your dad's going through something and they stop paying attention to you. You can feel that they're not emotionally present. So in that moment, we say, we start getting anxious, we start feeling kind of weird. We're like, what is going on here? Maybe if I change myself, maybe if I could, maybe if I act a certain way, maybe I'll get more attention or more love and adoration. And then what happens is there's a seed that is planted where we don't feel worthy. We think there's something broken with us. We think that there's something wrong with us as the self, as the identity. And then what happens is because we believe we're broken, we then go into future relationships with that underlying notion, I am broken. There's literally a sense of shame there. There's a sense of lack of worthiness. And then what happens is these people will put up with people that won't choose them because it's in the same way, it's them like either trying to fix that person. It's like we're trying to fix our partners so that then they can love us. Just like we'd wish we could fix our parents so that they can love us too. And the problem with that is that then we choose people that aren't choosing us because that energy dynamic feels familiar from when we were kids. So really what this is is it's an addiction to an energy dynamic that feels comfortable and familiar even though it's not necessarily positive. You know, a lot of times when we say, "I have a very deep connection with this person," and maybe it's a toxic relationship, Deep connection is a lot of times synonymous with familiar connection. It feels familiar. It feels like it did when I was a kid. And that was a harsh reality that I had to realize. And then I had to say, you know, if you're attracting people that aren't choosing you, it's because you're not choosing yourself. And they're mostly not choosing themselves either. They're trying to do something to please their family. They're trying to do something or they're holding themselves back from themself in some way because maybe they have their own intimacy issues. But if you find that you're not choosing people that choose you, it's because you're not choosing yourself. The key to this, by the way, is vulnerability. It is authentically expressing yourself more clearly and to stop playing this game where people aren't choosing you. It is not authentic for you to be in a relationship with somebody that's not choosing you. It may feel like it because of the story of the familiar pattern from when you were a kid, But the key to this is realizing that it may not be authentic. The best thing you could probably do is just be vulnerable, to share with people how you feel, to put yourself out there. Yes, it might open you up to them rejecting you or you to making a clear cut to where you say, "Hey, this is the way I want this dynamic or this relationship." And if they say, "No, that's fearful," or, "I can't choose you right now," then that's okay. Then make that choice from that level of awareness. I'm seeing a lot of people going through breakups right now, a lot of different friends, and it's very obvious. And what makes it hard is this story that this person, and they keep choosing people that aren't choosing them. And I'm like, what are you doing? I did it too though, so I get it. The moment I started choosing myself, other people then started choosing me. Isn't that interesting how it works? That's really the key to magnetic energy, but it's also being vulnerable with yourself. People that attract emotionally unavailable people are normally also people that have a certain level of emotional unavailability. They say, I want someone that's emotionally available, but it may not feel familiar for you. You may find that you're not attracted to people that are emotionally available. It seems too boring for you. You see, we are addicted to the same childhood pattern dynamics from when we were kids. And the key to this is becoming aware of why that is. And the key to this healing is realizing this concept. This was a game changer. This completely changed my life. Having an emotionally unavailable parent, having a partner that's emotionally unavailable, and ending that relationship, it was realizing that it had nothing to do with me. Mom or dad's emotional unavailability when you're a kid had nothing to do with you. Your dad cheating on your mom when you're a kid had nothing to do with you. Your parents divorced and had nothing to do with you. When we're kids, we're little narcissists that think it's all about us. And then we develop a belief that says I'm broken and we carry that with us into our relationships. It had nothing to do with you. You are worthy for being you. Your ex leaving you does not mean you're unworthy. It just didn't work out. It wasn't the energy dynamic that was in resonance. You've changed and you've outgrown it. So the key to this is realizing that in the same way, your partner and you not choosing you doesn't mean you're not worthy. It's only there to reinforce the belief that you are unworthy because you believe that right now because when you were a kid, you also had somebody not giving you your needs and you thought you were unworthy then. That was their shit. Your responsibility is to stop taking responsibility for their stuff, to draw the line, to say that that's their stuff, not yours. And something that we're gonna be doing soon, starting July 1st to July 21st, is a 21-day magnetic love challenge to where we go into these wounds, we heal our masculine and feminine wounds inside of ourselves and heal. We end codependent patterns. We end intimacy issues, we become emotionally available, we stop attracting people that are unemotionally available, we let go of love blocks, intimacy blocks. We're gonna go through 21 days of transformation, of opening up to a new magnetic version of us so that we attract love easier than ever. So if you want to join right now, it's one of the first times I'm promoting it, I'm super excited for you to join. There's two amazing bonuses you get right now too. One of them is a Q&A call with me and my friend Matt, who's a relationship and dating coach. We're gonna be going over and answering questions, engaging, and helping you remove the love blocks that you have and your childhood attachment pattern. And then I'm gonna be bringing in my shadow work integration coach. I've never shared him with you guys. He's gonna be doing a call and a Q&A with me, and we're gonna be doing that with you guys on masculine and feminine energy. So you get those bonuses right now if you join. All you gotta do is go to aarondoughty.com/love, L-O-V-E, or click the link below. Join the 21 Day Magnetic Love Challenge, and it's different than YouTube videos. This is like a process you go through, and there's a high vibe group that you get access to as well for doing the accountability to wiring in a more magnetic you. So if you wanna go through this deep healing, click the link below, join. We're super excited. It's the most exciting thing I've done, and pretty much we're gonna go in live for 21 days in a row. It's crazy. But if you want those bonuses, Click the link below. Other than that, realize the key to your healing is vulnerability. Being vulnerable with yourself, being honest with yourself and integrity with yourself. And staying around longer hoping they fix or they change is also infusing a reality that they're broken. You see, you're like, well, you need to be fixed. And I realized that with my ex, I was doing that. I was like, oh, you're— it was almost infusing this reality that she was broken. I'm like, no, she's not broken. She's just going through her own journey and maybe Maybe that's like something she has to go through. And I had to really let go. And once I let go, it was crazy how much my life transformed, how empowered I felt, and how much that changed everything. So with that being said, if you're in on the 21 Day Magnetic Love Challenge, comment below and join it. I can't wait to start it. And as always, hope you guys enjoyed this video. Talk to you later. Peace, much love, and namaste.