In this solo self‑help video, Aaron Doughty uses the image of a tree that "doesn't give a sh#t" to illustrate a mindset of deep grounding, self‑acceptance, and detachment from others' judgments. He recounts his own history of seeking validation through daily YouTube videos, explaining how that habit tied his identity to the "fruit" he produced for others. By exploring his childhood trauma—particularly a sense of safety found in other people's frames, an abusive step‑mother, and an abandoned‑mother wound—he reveals how shadow and inner‑child work can free him to feel safe within his own body. Doughty links this process to chakra balance, noting that many empaths over‑activate their upper chakras while neglecting the lower, grounding centers. He then outlines a practical framework: cultivate a clear personal vision, set strong boundaries, and say no to distractions, thereby strengthening one's "frame". Throughout, he offers concrete tools such as an inner‑child meditation (available for free on his website) and encourages viewers to adopt the tree mindset in relationships, creative pursuits, and daily decisions. The video concludes with a call to subscribe to his channel for a new style of nature‑based, metaphor‑driven content.
Chapters
This tree right here that you can see, this tree does not give a shit what you think about it. It's grounded and it's just chilling. And even if it were a tree that bears fruit, it would not be concerned about what you did with the fruit, whether you enjoyed the fruit. The tree would not be concerned whether the fruit that came off of it, you got the fruit and you threw it at someone else. The tree just doesn't care. Now, the thing to remember about this is the tree's just being a fricking tree. That's it. The tree's just being itself. Now, a lot of times what happens is we get so much in our head and what we do is we start getting concerned about what other people think about the fruit that we are bearing. We start really caring about what people do with what we, with what we provide in the world. And every single one of us has and is in a way, and has the potential just to be a tree. But what happens is, is we start becoming identified with the fruits that come from the tree. Now, of course, there's no fruit on this tree, but the idea behind this is being aware of our own energy and having the energy of not putting too much importance on any one thing or caring or giving emphasis to what people do with the fruit, what people think about the fruit, and it's just a powerful analogy for also understanding your purpose, your purpose and having roots and really being grounded in who you are. So this last year for me, it has been an extraordinarily powerful time for me becoming more grounded within myself. Prior, I used to really care what other people thought about me. Subconsciously, I think I was making a lot of videos on YouTube because I wanted to give value to other people because I thought the more value I can give to other people, the more that they would then accept me or give me validation. And because of that, what happened is I became in a way addicted to making videos. I was making videos every single day on YouTube for years. And what happened is I then started to associate my identity with making the videos and giving the value so that I could get something in exchange. I was focused on the fruit and giving as much fruit as possible so that then I could feel worthy. The tree though doesn't have to give the fruit to feel worthy. The tree is just being a tree. The thing that I want to, steer your attention on is how grounded are you in being yourself? And is there a shadow aspect of yourself that you find yourself kind of gearing yourself towards? I know for me, one thing that I've been doing is really focus on being grounded and being in my own body. This has changed my life more than anything else. And I know it sounds so simple, but lately I've also been talking about being in your own frame, your own frame of reality. Based on you being in your own frame, people are responding to you. This is the thing that happens. People respond to how you feel about you. And when you are in your own frame and you are unapologetically being yourself, people are gravitated to that, even if they don't necessarily agree with it. But what has happened, what happened to me in my past with my childhood is I went through different experiences where I didn't feel worthy And I thought that I had to be, and I honestly, I felt safe in someone else's frame. This is gonna sound kind of crazy, not crazy, but I remember that when my dad divorced my ex-stepmom, my ex-stepmom was a narcissist, abusive. My brother and I had zero freedom at all. 15 years old comes around, we have all this, it's a whole new world. We have freedom, we're able to have friends, but here was something that happened. I remember there was a sense of safety that I got from being in someone else's frame, from being in my ex-stepmom's frame. There's a sense of certainty that came with that. And I remember all of a sudden I'm allowed to watch TV, I'm allowed to have friends, I'm allowed to, do school activities without getting taken away, allowed to eat the kind of food that I want, all this freedom. There was an anxiety that came from that. That anxiety was a sense of safety that I got from being controlled. So in a way, what happened is I kept attracting patterns to myself where that energy dynamic would play over, over and over and over again because I wasn't aware of that safety that I felt with that. Now, the thing that that I think is so powerful to realize is once you become aware of that shadow, once you become aware of that inner child wound that you might have, you can then start to feel safe within your own body. You can start to feel safe within yourself and you stop caring then what other people think. I was becoming a part of other people's frame, even moving to Sedona. When I first moved here, I moved here with a friend because we got a house and I lived there for like 8 months and it's one of my best friends. But the idea was I felt safe in someone else's frame. And this person had a very strong frame. But now what I've learned is I've learned how to be in my own frame, how to be myself, and honestly, how not to be afraid of what other people think by being more polarizing and not to also be in care. You know, I'm doing this new style of videos. If you guys haven't subscribed to the channel yet, subscribe below. I've got a whole new style of videos coming where I'm going out in nature and kind of like, you know, tap into these different ideas using metaphors and kind of ancient teachings. So subscribe if you haven't already and like this video if you like this new style of videos. The idea behind this is me being in my own frame has completely changed my life. But the thing about this that I really want you to be aware of is like going inside of your own body and just being a tree, being yourself, being grounded and not wavering at what other people think about you, what other people think of you. So I've been doing this work for probably like the last 6 to 8 months now, the shadow work of becoming aware of my own inner child wound of feeling safe in other people's frame, other ex-girlfriends' frame. I realized that I would have a strong frame in the beginning of a relationship, but then I would lose it because a part of me, I didn't realize this, this is a deeper part, but I had an abandoned mother wound where when I was 3 or 4 years old, my mom went through a lot of trauma and my mom went through, her dad passed away, so it's totally understandable. And what happened is when her dad passed away, she was emotionally dealing with that and I felt emotionally abandoned. And in that way, I then thought that if I could be a different way, maybe I'd get more love. If I could tune myself in a different way, then I would receive that love or that attention. And what that caused me to do is when I, when I get in relationships, I would then go a part of, I would then try to change myself or modify or control situations so that I could still receive that same love, affection, or whatever it is. So I know this sounds, you know, that sounds kind of interesting, but becoming aware of that pattern, I could then see that I can actually take my energy back and give myself the self-love, give myself, you know, actually there's an inner child meditation I have that's one of the most powerful meditations I've ever made where we energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii to meet our inner child and heal our inner child. Inner child and dialogue with it using kind of Carl Jungian psychology. You can check that out below or go to aarondoughty.com/child. That's the meditation. It's completely free. But in general, the inner child work will help you to feel more safe in your own frame. But the other thing that I want to share with this is a lot of times as empathic people, if you're watching this video, then most likely you have like an empathic nature. When what happens, and I have this theory about this, but what happens is, is we have our bottom 3 chakras. Many of us that are spiritually connected and focused on this, we're all spiritually connected, but we become very preoccupied in the top 3 chakras, which help us to tune to other people, but we're not grounded in ourselves. And one of the most important parts of having a strong frame is having a frame. And that's where I want to talk about a vision. When I started creating YouTube videos on YouTube back in 2017, I created a vision and that vision was making daily videos. I was focused on being the version of me that was making daily videos and that became my dominant vibration pretty quickly. Within 6 months, I was living in a completely different reality from that one thing of doing it every day. I had a vision to move towards it. Now here's the thing. Another part of that vision was that I then had other things to say no to. So I was working 40 hours a week at a job. Until I quit, which 6 months later, but I was also making videos 30 hours a week. I was very busy. And from that, there were friends that wanted to hang out, other things that, you know, I was tempted to do. And if I would've said yes to those, I'd be saying no to my vision. There's a book called "Personality Isn't Permanent," and it talks about how our identity is shaped by our goals. And one of the things that I want you to become aware of are what are your goals? What are you moving in the direction of? How strong is your frame? And part of your frame is having strong boundaries. When you have strong boundaries, you're saying no to more things, but you're also saying yes to your vision and what you want. And then not caring what other people think. These are the 3 different energy dynamics that have changed my life. And especially more than ever, because I'm able to really be myself. And I'm not preoccupied with what other people think. In the same way, I was talking to my buddy Victor the other day, who's a great friend of mine, one of my best friends. Is my best friend, but basically he was talking about how he had this fear that, you know, when he was young, he liked rock shows. He liked, you know, going to see like rock concerts. And when he was a kid, he had this idea of like being a rock star. And then he started making YouTube videos and he was afraid that now if his ego were to take over him making YouTube videos, he was— he's afraid that he'd get like lost. Or something really bad would happen. He'd have to sacrifice his connection to his family if he becomes more and more well-known. So he would like pull back from making YouTube videos. And he's like, maybe I should make videos, maybe I shouldn't make videos. What if somebody watches my videos and they have like a deep spiritual process and they blame me for it? You know, 'cause we're sharing spiritual awakening information. And the thing that I told him was just exactly this, be a tree. Don't think you should be something other than a tree because what if humans do something with the fruit and they throw it at each other or they blame you for the fruit that they ate? You see, if you're grounded, you realize it doesn't matter what other people think about your fruit. Your job is to be a tree. Your job is to do your purpose, to find out what your purpose is and to embody that. And what people do with it isn't your concern. His version of it is whether people respond positively or negative or what if people perceive of me like this, or what if I get, I'm like, dude, just trust yourself to be a tree. Maybe that means making videos. Maybe that means doing it when it feels aligned, but don't be concerned what people do with it. In the same way, I've had to take my own advice because sometimes I care what people think. And when I care what people think, guess what? I get kind of, my content starts to be very different. I'm making videos for views. It's a very different vibe. And I think you could tell that this energy of this video has a very different vibe because I'm just being my own fricking tree. What you do with it is up to you. You might take this video, you might throw it somewhere, you might share it, which would be really cool. It's like sharing the fruits, but you also are a tree of yourself. And the thing I encourage you to do is to really be yourself and to be bold. It doesn't matter what other people think about you. It's not your concern. Your job is to be a tree, be yourself, develop a, a magnetic frame by having a frame, having a vision that you're moving towards, having something that then you say yes to. And then it means you're gonna say no more things, but don't feel guilty about it. I don't feel guilty. It's funny, there's a whole new world I'm experiencing as of lately because I don't feel guilty for me doing what I want. Sometimes, you know, I'd feel guilty if friends wanted to hang out and I wanted to say no. What would they think of me? Would they like me? Would they think I'm rejecting them? I don't wanna be rejected. So now you wanna know what I do now? Is I just, if I wanna do it, I do it. I go hang out. And if I don't, if I have something else I'd rather be doing, I don't. I do all the same things I do before, but I tap into myself and I ask, what do I want? And because of that, there's a new level of respect that people have for me. There's a new level of boundaries that I have that feels amazing. There's a new level of groundedness that I have that really comes through. And I just feel so good to be a tree. So my message for you today is to be a tree. And to realize that the more you are just being a tree, the more you are being yourself. And the more you're being yourself, the more you're giving your gifts, your fruits into the world. So be unapologetic. The tree doesn't give a shit what you think about it. Neither should you. So I hope you guys enjoyed this video. Like, subscribe below if you haven't already. I'll talk to you guys in the next episode. Peace, much love, namaste.
