In this solo self‑help video, Aaron Doughty explains that the primary obstacle to attracting love is an internal "cock‑block" rooted in shame and childhood‑based attachment patterns. He describes how growing up with emotional abandonment created a people‑pleasing, identity‑based shame that drives viewers to seek validation from unavailable partners and to repeat trauma bonds with narcissists. Doughty differentiates shame (identity‑based) from guilt (action‑based) and shows how this shame fuels codependent behavior and a lack of personal boundaries. He introduces the "frame technique" – a guided meditation that visualizes separation (e.g., from a candle flame) to establish magnetic boundaries and a sense of safety in one’s body. He also promotes a popular 21‑day self‑love meditation that activates internal love, encouraging viewers to develop healthy self‑confidence (healthy narcissism) without becoming toxic. Throughout, he shares personal anecdotes, a tribal story illustrating the power of releasing shame, and practical steps: recognizing shame, stopping people‑pleasing, setting boundaries, practicing the frame meditation, and consistently listening to the 21‑day meditation. The video concludes with a call to action to visit his free training at aarondoughty.com/frame and to apply these practices to open the "floodgates" of love.
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The number one cockblock to attracting love is this one thing that when you remove, you allow love to flow into your life unlike anything you've experienced before. What I share with you in this video is something that took me years to learn, and the soon as I made this switch, my whole entire life changed. I started seeing things, new opportunities that I never saw before. Also, I started to feel completely different about myself because I got to the root of what was really blocking love from being magnetized into my life. And in this video, I'm going to show you exactly what that is, how to remove it, and how to open up the floodgates to that love. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the numero uno cockblock. That is blocking you, cock block. I don't know if that's gonna work for the YouTube algorithm saying that word cock block, but guess what? When you remove that cock block, guess what's gonna happen? You're gonna allow love in your life easier than ever. I became aware of this just a couple weeks ago. And the story that I had, the narrative I had around love was mainly based from childhood trauma. Now understand a lot of times when we go through childhood, not even trauma necessarily from childhood, in a way some of it was, but the attachment style we have and the way we view love in general is normally playing itself out based on familiar patterns we had when we were a kid. So what we'll say is when we experience a deep connection with somebody, normally it's a familiar connection if we haven't healed the shadow wounds from when we were a kid. So when I was growing up, I felt a certain level of emotional abandonment because my parents were going through a lot. They were at a certain level of growth like most of our parents are. So it's not necessarily their fault, but I was feeling like this yearning for emotional availability. And because I didn't get it in the way I felt I needed, I then felt like I wasn't worthy. I felt like there was something wrong with me. And what happened is then going through life, there was a certain level of shame that I had. Shame, the thing about shame is that shame says there's something wrong with me. Guilt is a good person that did something bad that they feel guilty about. Guilt is action-based, whereas shame is identity-based. So I had this belief and there was this people pleaser mentality that was born that I had to then shed. I shed that about a year ago. People pleasing, meaning I'm doing things to mitigate tension towards other people, this people approval thing that then depolarizes masculine polarity, it's not authentic. And I was then changing myself so that I could then make other people happy, which means I wasn't grounded in who I really am. I wasn't being as authentic. But the reason I was changing myself is because of the initial premise that there's something wrong with me. There is a level of shame there that then I would carry into relationships. And one of the biggest epiphanies too is that I would, attract people into my life that were emotionally unavailable so that I could try to fix them because the idea is that if I can fix this person, then maybe they'll love me. If I can fix somebody, it's like playing the childhood dynamic again where if I could fix mom or dad and get them to love me, then everything will be okay. The problem is that then it's externally focused and you can't really fix anybody. So if I wanted to change that pattern, and I wanted to allow the floodgates of love opportunities in, what I had to do is I had to recognize that truth. The truth is I believe there's a level of shame there where I'm not good enough, I don't deserve something specific, like something nurturing and loving. And I had to let go of that shame. I had to let go of that identity. I had to realize this one thing, it was never about me. You see, as kids, we think everything is about ourselves. If our parents divorce, it's because of, us. If a parent is abusing us, it's because there's something inherently wrong with us. And when we carry that with us, we then allow ourselves into relationships that lack boundaries. That's why you see a lot of empaths attract narcissists, because narcissists say, "I will take what I want, I will demand and control." Empaths have no boundaries and have no limits, so they will say, "I will please at all expense so that I can get validation and love," and it becomes this trauma bond. But what happens is the reason it doesn't end really, it ends up like dragging out a lot longer is because the empaths will tolerate it. They believe they deserve that kind of experience because it's familiar from childhood. So the biggest thing that's going to block you from attracting love into your life is your own self-image and how you relate to love when it comes to shame. You have to release shame and you have to know you're worthy. Your worth may mean developing your frame. It may mean saying no to things you don't wanna do. It may mean leading in your life in a new way. It may mean doing a meditation where you separate yourself from a candle flame. That's called the frame technique. It is extraordinarily powerful for creating magnetic boundaries. I have a whole entire free training on it that you can listen to if you go to aarondoughty.com/frame, F-R-A-M-E. I'll link it down below. It's an hour-long activation where we energetically do that and you learn the frame technique for creating between boundaries, magnetic energy, and it is extraordinarily powerful. I've been doing that meditation for about 4 or 5 months now. It's completely transformed my life and it's so simple. But feeling the separation helps you then feel safe in your own body. When you're safe in your own body, you're attractive. So this is about that, those levels of awareness with those different things. You know, there's a meditation that I have as well that is the most powerful, or it's the most popular meditation on my channel. It's got over 4 million views. Thousands of people saying that they attracted love from listening to that meditation for 21 days. Why? Because then you're activating the internal love inside of yourself and you're seeing yourself, you're seeing it as natural for you to be in a loving relationship. You're seeing it as natural for you to love yourself. Really attracting love is about feeling love for yourself because people feel what you feel. The more in love with yourself you become, the better. Now, this doesn't mean narcissism. And the empath's not gonna become narcissistic. Narcissism is a toxic form of self-love, but it's not really self-love. There is something called healthy narcissism, and that's what the empath needs to learn, and that's where you learn your own self-confidence. It means you have to be rooted in the self. Self-love is rooted in the self. The self is where you become aware of the separation between you and the candle flame, you and your mom, you and your dad, you and your person you're dating. And then you let go of the neediness, the codependent behaviors that may be there from childhood where you're trying to fix someone or you're trying to like attach yourself to someone else to get their validation, love, or approval. You have to separate yourself from that and feel the love of self. There's a tribe, I was reading about this the other day. This is a, and by the way, that meditation, click below, commit to that. Read the comments to see, 'cause that will increase the belief for you attracting love. You read the comments to see all these people that say they attracted love listening to that meditation. It increases the belief in you, and then you do it for 21 days, you feel that love on the inside and you'll see what happens. So you'll see that below as well. There's a tribe, I was reading about this, there was a tribe, and in tribes they have these little initiations that people go through, and initiations help people to really change their identity. There was this one girl though, that in this tribe, this guy goes and sees this one girl and she's like 19 years old, and she's got the most beautiful magnetic energy and she's so happy and she has this horrible burn mark on her face, like burns all around her face. And the guy asked, one of the other tribes members was like, she's got such a magnetic energy. What is it about her? What happened to her face? And the tribe said when she was 13 years old, her mom poured, her mom sprayed boiling water on her face out of rage. And you think to yourself, "Wow, how did she transcend that?" Well, what they did is in the tribes, they had every single person in the tribe circle around this young girl and tell her, "This was not because of you. This is not your fault. This has nothing to do with you." And what happened is she did not internalize that as shame or as a part of her self-worthiness. She did not feel any less than. It had nothing to do with her. Your parents' emotional availability or lack of emotional availability or physical presence or lack of presence in general had nothing to do with you, nothing. It was to do with them and what they're going through. When you realize that, you realize, wait, I am worthy. I am worthy of love. I'm worthy of loving myself. There's nothing wrong with me. When you reduce that shame, When you let go of that, you will then start to feel worthy. You will then start to recognize your own value. You will start to be rooted in yourself. And as you're rooted in yourself, you will have a magnetic quality that changes everything. So realize that the more I've let go of my old identity and realizing that I'm attracting people into my life that replayed the same childhood dynamic from when I was a kid, it then opened up a whole new floodgate of opportunity for me. It was always there. This is the crazy thing. It's been there for months. I wasn't able to perceive it because of my attachment to the old and my attachment to the shame, thinking there's something wrong with me. And also I realized there was a certain level of my own intimacy. I was always like, me attracting people that are emotionally unavailable, it's because I was emotionally unavailable. That was a big epiphany for me too. So I had to start opening myself up. I had to start opening myself up around other people, not be afraid of that intimate connection, even though part of me wanted it, but part of me, I was afraid of it because it's unfamiliar. I'm used to the more different type of energy. And the more I've opened up though is the more that opportunities have come in. So those are the lessons for today. Listen to that meditation for 21 days. Listen to the frame technique, AaronDoughty.com/frame. Check it out. Like this video if you like this video. If you want more, like it. And if this resonated with you, maybe that's the one cock block, the cock block for you. You know what I mean? Anyways, I'll talk to you guys in the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.
