In this self‑help video Aaron Doughty explains that the most powerful factor for becoming magnetically attractive is polarity – the balance and expression of one’s innate masculine or feminine core. He argues that non‑neediness, feeling whole internally, and embodying the natural gender‑energy that aligns with one’s regulated nervous system create a magnetic field that both attracts desired partners and repels mismatched ones. Doughty shares personal stories of how he previously over‑identified with feminine, people‑pleasing energy, which blocked his ability to attract masculine partners, and links these patterns to childhood modeling of his father’s doormat behavior. He references David Deida’s books and uses geographic analogies (Hawaii as feminine, New York as masculine) to illustrate how environments can amplify or suppress polarity. Practical advice includes changing surroundings, deliberately spending time with gender‑aligned groups ("bro time" for masculine, yoga or art for feminine), engaging in activities that reinforce the target energy, and working through childhood shields that arise from abandonment fears. He emphasizes vulnerability, authentic self‑expression, and setting boundaries as ways to lower defensive shields and open the heart. The video concludes with a promotion for his paid community, Magnetic Mastery Membership, which offers weekly live coaching, accountability groups, and a supportive environment for cultivating magnetic energy.
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In this video, I'm gonna show you the number one secret to having extremely magnetic energy that will completely transform your life from the inside out. Now, the one word that I'm gonna share with you, and I'm gonna show you how to embody, how to remove the blocks around, is the thing that will make you more magnetic than ever. Now, think of a magnet. A magnet is something that has the ability to both attract and repel at the same time. And it depends on one thing. Can you guess what that thing is? Polarity. Based on the polarity of a magnet, it will determine how magnetic it is and what it attracts. And at the same time, the level to which it has that polarity energy, it will also repel the opposite of it. Now, when it comes to attracting love, It's about understanding that the degree to which you can attract love will be the degree to which you are non-needy. You do not need someone else to meet your needs. You do not need someone else's validation. You do not need someone else's support. You feel whole and complete on the inside. And one of the other biggest game changers when it comes to polarity is understanding the ability to embody either your own feminine or masculine core. Now, this also explains why when I was, years ago, before I learned this and I began to apply what I share with you in this video, I had a tendency of attracting women into my life that I was being and embodying more feminine energy and they were embodying a little bit more masculine energy. And it was a complete, I still had masculine energy, but it was like, it was a little bit unbalanced. And one of the reasons that was, was because of the energy I was embodying. Now, sometimes I see it in the community and just in people that I work with in my 21-day challenges that I've had over 10,000 people go through or 15,000 people. So I've seen a lot of this pattern is you might have someone that's feminine that wants to attract someone that's masculine. And it could be a woman that wants to attract a masculine man, or it could be a same-sex marriage. A feminine and masculine energy is something that is the key to polarization. However, even in same-sex relationships, it works very similar. But maybe they feel like they have a masculine or feminine shield. Now for me, this meant that I was this nice guy, people pleaser version of myself back in the day. And what would happen is I'd be like, huh, why am I not attracting this feminine nurturing energy that I wanna attract? And why was it? Because I was embodying energy that was more feminine. I was more so tuning myself to the feminine. Are you okay? Can I fix you? What can I do? I'm gonna do for you because I felt a low sense of self-worth. I felt like I wasn't worthy, felt like there was something wrong with me. So therefore, if I can make you happy, I'm gonna become indispensable. I'm gonna be someone you can never abandon. You could never leave me because of that. But guess what? Then I'm embodying not my own masculine presence. And here's the thing with masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy is very directional. It's very focused. It's a lot of times focused on results. It's focused on, going in a certain direction. It's focused on leading. That's masculine energy. Feminine energy tends to be a little bit more flowy. It's a little bit more present to the moment and it's nurturing and it's an energy that has much more feminine flow to it. So feminine flow, directional and practical and grounded. And these two energies, what I was realizing is there was something about me that didn't feel safe really just being in that energy. So I would tune myself to the feminine and that would get into have the feminine not feel safe because one thing with the masculine too is the masculine being on their purpose then allows the feminine to feel safe, the feminine to feel flowing, to feel safe in the masculine container. Now what I was doing is I was not embodying my true masculine energy. Why? Well, growing up as well, I think that my dad was very much a nice guy, people pleaser, and, or is that way. So that being modeled growing up, the masculine energy, what was happening is the energy that was modeled growing up was more so somebody that was kind of like sometimes a doormat to my ex-stepmom, for example, who was very manipulative and controlling. And that was the reflection that I had. So therefore I thought, oh, maybe I'm supposed to be the same way. I'm supposed to be like that kind of energy. And what would end up happening is I would then tune myself to the person I was dating and tuning to them, then they wouldn't feel safe. And it was this thing that was depolarizing the relationship. Now, sometimes what I see is, especially in the new, I'm reading a book right now, it's an amazing book by the way, it's called "Intimate Communion" by David Deida. He also wrote the book called "The Way of the Superior Man," which even if you're a woman, that's a great book by the way, it talks about masculine and feminine energy. One of the things he talks about that I found very interesting is he uses the analogy of Hawaii and New York. And he says that there is masculine and feminine energy based on geography. So why do you think a lot of people maybe go to Hawaii for a honeymoon? It's a very flowy feminine energy. It's very much about love. Feminine loves love and giving and receiving love. So when people go on their honeymoon, they go to, Hawaii, and they can feel all this love and this expansiveness. Now, most people don't go on a honeymoon in New York. Now, New York, maybe some do, but New York is a very masculine energy. And one of the challenges can be, even here in Sedona, for example, I'm in Sedona right now, it's a very feminine energy here in Sedona. And it is common that there are men out here that have a very much a soft feminine core. I was at the creek the other day talking to someone and someone was like, you know, I just love creating art and I love all these things and creating art art and being creative and I make these little crystal beads for bracelets and all of these things is very, it's a very feminine practice because it's a feminine energy here. And there's some women here that I know want to attract love, but sometimes a little bit challenging. There are some men out here that are masculine, but in general there's a common like Sedona vibe for some of the men out here where it's a little bit more feminine. Not all of them, like I said, but some, but many. Now in the same way, if you go to New York, you may notice that in New York, it's a very masculine energy, fast-paced, directional. You're going this, you're thinking, how am I gonna get this out of this networking thing that I'm doing? What am I gonna get out of this? How is this gonna help me get the result that I want to get? And that rubs off on the woman or the feminine energy. So then it's like they want to be feminine and to attract the masculine, but at the same time, they're swept in with this masculine go, go, go, go, get her attitude. And at the same time, in this book, it also talks about how a lot of times surfers in Hawaii a lot of times won't commit to relationships. You wanna know why? Because they are already so in, they're getting their needs met so much with the feminine energy of the waves and the ocean and the Hawaii energy that they don't need to get their needs met in the other way with the relationship. So it's interesting because in a way it's like the location geography acts as a surrogate. It acts as like a, a way of getting the needs met, but that can then cause a little bit of blockages. So one thing that I would have you become aware of is, is your energy more like Hawaii or is it more like New York? And if you're in New York or you're in a geography or you're somewhere or you're always surrounded by people that are more masculine, that can have a masculine effect on you. I'm here with my two bros right now, two of my best friends, and guess what we're doing? We're having guy time in Sedona for a week. It's very good for our masculine energy. It's good to get away from our girlfriends so that we could just like chill out and go on hikes and connect and do business stuff. Very healthy for us. When we go back, we're gonna be embodying this masculine energy. It's very healthy. So when it comes to polarity, the thing I wanna ask you is, are you giving yourself permission to be where your natural core is? Because some of us have trauma that caused us not to be in our natural core. It is actually very natural. It took a lot more energy for me to not be in my natural core because I was trying to people please and be in this feminine energy 'cause I was trying to uphold and avoid becoming abandoned. I was really afraid of being abandoned. That's what a lot of times getting out of our own masculine or feminine energy that is our core, 'cause the key to really attracting the love you want is polarity. It's you being in your own natural core. Your natural core is like, What feels the least effort to do at your natural core when you're really in a regulated nervous system? Because if we're in survival mode, we're trying to get our needs met, we're people pleasing, all this stuff, that wasn't my natural core. It took a lot of energy to do. Being hard to set boundaries, all those things, those were all the wounded aspects of me. And really what I was trying to do is I was avoiding abandonment. By being this other person that I thought I had to be. So one of the most magnetic things you can possibly do is get in your own magnetic core and to realize you're good enough the way you are. You can stop abandoning yourself and you can start giving yourself the ability to be the most like authentic version of you. And some of the ways this can look too is actually really simple. You can change your environment. Does it mean you have to move? Not necessarily. However, I will say something very powerful for you to do is if you want to be more feminine, surround yourself with people that have feminine energy. You could even go to feminine places. You go to a feminine beach or something like that. You could surround yourself with other feminine people. Sometimes you'll see like maybe a woman that hangs out with only guy, only has guy friends, more of a tomboy. It might be hard for them to tap into their feminine energy if they wanna attract a masculine. Person. So one of the things you could do is hang around with your girlfriends that are also very feminine, or start putting yourself in positions where you do things that are feminine, like yoga, for example, where you're getting in the flow, you're moving your body, doing like a pole dancing class or something. It's a little bit outside your comfort zone. That might be something that helps you embody that feminine energy. On the masculine side, you could do something like hanging out with your bros, go play basketball or something like that. There are things you can do that will help you to then embody, you get, have a goal or a focus of something that you're doing. For the feminine, you could do art and, you know, do something that's an end of itself. But one of the most magnetic things you can possibly do is to get to your own center of core and give yourself permission to be the most authentic version of you you could possibly be. Because as you do that, you will find that you actually attract more of what you want. You take down your masculine shield. And a lot of times your masculine or your feminine shield, by the way, is up because there was a shield against mom or dad. We're replaying the same childhood dynamics that were alive when we were kids. And maybe mom or dad wasn't emotionally available. Maybe somehow they abandoned you as a kid and we put that shield up so it doesn't happen again. But guess what? You put that shield up, you're blocking love. You're blocking from opening up your heart. And the key to attracting love that I found is really about opening up my own heart and being vulnerable, sharing the real me. Yes, I could get rejected if I'm, you know, setting boundaries with someone else, expressing what I really enjoy doing. But guess what? You're gonna attract the people that really do vibrate with you. You're gonna attract and you're gonna repel the people that don't. It's a good thing. It is good to reject, to repel people that don't resonate with you. And the more you embody them, the more you realize that that actually has a very powerful effect on your life, a very powerful effect on how you're showing up in the world. So that's something that will change your life more than anything else. Now also, if you haven't heard yet, I do have a community that is called Magnetic Mastery Membership. This is a community where you go to become the most magnetic version of you from the inside out. And the way we do that is through weekly accountability and coaching. So every week there's a live call, there's live coaching. I bring people up, I coach people. Plus 2 times a month on 2 of the weeks, it's accountability where you get in groups We hold each other accountable because the two things I've noticed that makes the biggest difference is the accountability of actually wiring something in and then doing that consistently. That's the second thing, consistently doing it. And we do that in the Magnetic Mastery membership. If you're watching this video right now, then you can join by going to www.magneticmastery.com. Click the link in the top of the description box below and join. Only founding members are in there. I'm really gonna, just the energy's starting to get put in there. It's really cool. I've done these challenges that are, you know, 10,000 to 15,000 people have been through the 21-day challenges. We're turning that into a monthly container where we have a safe place to heal, other high vibe people, we can connect with like-minded people, but also become the most magnetic versions of us from the inside out. Now also, there's a video right here that shows you why when you let go, you are able to attract so much more and it'll change your life and help you to really embody this non-attached polarizing energy. So watch this video right here. Why is it that when you want someone, when you desire them, they feel that energy and it literally
