The #1 REASON You're Single & Can't FIND LOVE

In this video, I'm gonna reveal the number one reason you may have trouble finding love and also the reason you might feel stuck in attracting the same type of people over and over again. Maybe it's a certain type of person that's not showing up. Maybe it's somebody that isn't really in their masculine or their feminine energy. And in this video, I'm gonna share with you exactly what I wish I would've known years ago that would've saved me so much time and would've helped me make this shift into actually attracting love into my life and to really being that love in a completely new way. Now, imagine that love is like a mirror. You can kind of see this right here. Oh, my finger's covering it up. Imagine I have my iPad camera out right now and looking into this, I can see myself. Now, what happens is if I'm looking at myself in this mirror or in this camera right here, the way that love works is love is a reflection. Love is more of a reflection than it is something else. So one of the main problems people have when they're trying to attract love into their life is they're saying, I want that over there to come into my life when reality is in fact more of a mirror. Now, this was a game changer for me to understand because I realized that I didn't believe that I was lovable. I did not have the self-confidence in myself to really believe that people could love me for just being me. And what I was doing is I was looking to the outside world. Now, we know that if we look at a mirror and I look at myself in this little, you know, this mirror right now, and I'm like, okay, I want the expression on my face to change. I know, and we all know that it's not gonna change just by thinking about it. We also know that this is not going to change before I actually change. So the reflection in the mirror is not going to change unless I first change, and then the reflection will naturally change. So the challenge with people attracting love is they're waiting for the mirror to change. They're waiting for something on the external, and that's when they say we can't find love. It's like saying, I can't get my fricking image here. I can't get my image here to smile. It's not smiling. Like I'm trying everything. I've gone to therapy about it. I'm trying to get this thing here to smile, but it's not smiling. Now we know the answer to this is that first off, I must choose to smile. And as I choose to smile, it naturally reflects that change. Now this metaphor is, I'm using it because it is so relevant to the way that reality actually works. Now, the reason that we can't find love, and I'm gonna share with you 3 main reasons that change everything. Now, when you talk about, the video title said, the number 1 reason, Aaron, you said the number 1 reason. If you look at the scale of consciousness, put it right here for a second, the scale of consciousness, we have shame, fear, anger, then eventually we have courage, willingness, and then eventually we have reasoning, and then love, and then joy, peace, enlightenment. Now this is the scale of consciousness. Now reasoning is the level right under love. And the thing is, is in order for us to get into unconditional love or to get into love in general, we have to transcend reasoning. Reasoning is the intellect of the mind. Now, this is not only relevant, what I share with you in this video is not only relevant for that of attracting love and finding or, you know, getting the reflection in life of a loving relationship, but also it will help you to tap into the self-love and show you how to tap into that level of consciousness. Because when you are in that level of consciousness of love, you will have more magnetic energy. You will find yourself having more job opportunities or more opportunities in your life. People will respond differently to you because you are embodying a different type of energy. You are in that level. Now, the thing with this whole entire process though is understanding that there are different reasons, different meanings, different beliefs that hold us back from actually being that love. And the thing is with this, when it comes to attracting love, many of us are inside little boxes that we've created that have happened since childhood of emotions that feel familiar. Familiar. The word familiar also has within it the word family. So many times people have trouble attracting love into their life because they're already thinking feeling and they're already attracting similar emotions from childhood because those emotions feel safe. Those emotions feel familiar. Now here's the thing. Some of us may have felt emotionally abandoned or physically abandoned as a kid. So what happens is when we feel like we had that emotional unavailability, it feels normal to not have our needs met in that way. So what is a natural reflection in reality if I were to hold up the mirror right now? The natural reflection that would be reaffirming my initial belief that says I'm used to the familiar emotions of people not showing up for me is that either I'm single or I'm attracting people into my life that reflect back that I'm not worthy, that reflect back that they're not showing up for me. So you might as well be single anyways, right? So this was the key for me, and this is something that I had to realize. Now, so the number one, there's three reasons. Now, the number one reason is that we're stuck in reasoning, we're stuck in belief that is keeping us from feeling that love, from smiling before the mirror smiles. But there's three main core reasons that I've noticed to why I was holding myself back that did keep me single. So the first reason reason, the first belief that we could become aware of has to do with what I was mentioning a minute ago, emotional unavailability, or that is what we are used to. That is a familiar emotion for us. Now, I realized that especially early on in my dating life, when I was dating, I tend to attract a very specific archetype that represented different energy dynamics that I found interesting. Now, I was choosing people that were not choosing me back. And when I wasn't choosing people that weren't choosing me back, I found and I felt stuck. I wasn't attracting love. Now, this is something I really wanna share too, because this is a connection that I just recently made that I find really fascinating. I went back into the people that I've dated, almost all of them, and not all of them, but almost all of them, I could see there was an aspect of myself that I was like not really showing because I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of abandonment. And when I go back to especially like my first girlfriend, I could very clearly see, you know, there was this even this situation that happened as after the stepmom situation from 7 to 15 years old, all of a sudden I'm allowed to date. and I'm allowed to have friends. I wasn't allowed to have friends from 7 to 15 years old. I was pretty awkward. All of a sudden I'm going to school, I'm allowed to have friends. I start making friends and stuff like that. Start going to parties and stuff like that. I remember the first party I ever went to, like very clearly in my mind, but I was like 17 or something like that, 16, 17. 'Cause the first year or two after my dad divorced my stepmom was pretty much just me watching TV and hanging out with my brother and stuff and having all this new sense of freedom. I could eat food. Like enough food and stuff like that, started looking healthier. And then what happened is my first girlfriend, she was a, like, she was the music, she was like the lead actor of our school, I guess you could say. She was like a music person, she sang. And I met her in the hallway at band or something like that. But anyways, met her and we connected. And something that was interesting that happened is after we were dating for a while, I was kind of being not thrown around, but I definitely felt in the relationship that I wasn't being chosen, even though we liked each other. But something else interesting that happened was when homecoming came around, she was going to go to homecoming, even though her and I were technically together, she was gonna go to homecoming with an ex-boyfriend of hers. And I was just gonna like allow that to happen. I look back at it now, and I was just so nimble and I just so much felt like I wasn't worthy that I just allowed that to happen. And I remember she was getting a lot of shit from other people, from other people that are like, that's fucked up towards Aaron. Like, why are you gonna go? And I was just sitting there like, well, this is just the way it is. I'm not being chosen even though we're in a relationship, choosing to go to like homecoming with someone else, like an ex-boyfriend. It was crazy to me. So that was a dynamic then. Actually, this might be TMI, so, but actually the girl that I lost my virginity to, I guess you could say, was someone that had a boyfriend. Interesting. She's kind of choosing me, but not really. And it was an interesting dynamic to where I realized, okay, once again, I'm not being chosen. And ironically enough, as I started to realize my own sense of self-worth, most of these people started or like, it's interesting, I always go through a phase to where I kind of like don't believe in myself, don't have my own sense of self-worth. And then eventually what happens is these people, I start to recognize it within myself and then they start either coming back to me or I have more options. It's crazy the way that's worked. Now, there were other relationships I also had where I was clearly not being chosen, but I allowed it to be because it was reflecting back a belief that I'm not worthy. Maybe I'm not worthy of having someone that is available. And honestly, even to this day, this is something I'm becoming much more aware of is this emotional availability and understanding that back in the day, if somebody would've came up to me that was emotionally available, I wouldn't have been attracted to them. In fact, it did happen. Back like 5 years ago. Luckily, I'm in a beautiful relationship right now with the girlfriend that is very like available and very much has her heart open and is like, I'm learning so much about myself and it's a beautiful relationship that I'm very grateful to have in my life. However, back in, when was it? It was like 2015. I had this one girl that I was in a relationship with that was just like crazy about me. She was very emotionally available. And I used to just tell myself, this is the craziest thing. I was like, yes, this is great. It was a great dynamic to where we were just like, we were dating, but I would never actually commit to her. And the reason being is like, I just, I can't, I just feel like she's not girlfriend material. I just was not even interested in her in that way. And she just really wanted a relationship with me. She was like, crazy about me, but I wasn't interested because I was not used to somebody being emotionally available for me. So back in 2015, I look back now and I can see that I also was just, the familiar emotions in my body were of me trying to prove my love to someone else, were me attracting someone that felt like maybe I felt like they needed to be fixed. Which also, by the way, if I think someone needs to be fixed, I'm infusing that there's something wrong with them. So I'm not doing a service for anybody, you know? And some of us, that's also a value thing. I know that our retreat recently, I was talking to somebody there that found themselves in these relationships where he always had to fix. And one of the things I told him was like, I used to be the same way, but one of the reasons I would always attract people that felt like they needed fixing was because I got my sense of value and self-worth from trying to fix somebody because it was like I had low sense of self-esteem and that's what I felt like I needed to do. And if I would fix them, then I could get them to actually love me in the way I wanna be loved. Think about that. Isn't that crazy? Many of us in our dynamics in dating are just replaying familiar emotions and similar core beliefs. And if we're used to parents that were physically or emotionally unavailable, then we'll we'll continue to attract that into our life. So one of the first things that we need to do is we need to get to the core of our own parents' emotional unavailability. And we need to make the choice of maybe our parents or maybe just if our needs weren't being met when we were kids, we need to recognize that. And we need to start to break down the belief that says, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And we need to start making the choice to open up our heart. This is really one of the biggest things. When I was single, by the way, this was another reason I was single. This is probably the biggest one. This just came to me. I can't believe that I didn't write this down on my iPad before I was coming into this. Here was like a huge epiphany for me. When I was single, like 8 months ago, and I was dating, I was talking to my friend Matt about this and he would always point it out to me. I had a million and one reasons to why I, somebody that I was dating or talking to wasn't worth me dating. I was becoming hyperjudgmental of people and that was literally blocking love from opening, from coming into my life. My heart was closed and what would happen is I wouldn't give anybody a chance. Isn't that crazy? I literally believed as well that I had no options. Here I am, And I'm not trying to be cocky or anything, but here I am on doing what I love for a living. I, on paper, should have all these options, but I literally couldn't see them because I was making them invisible because I just believed that everybody that I was dating just wasn't the right person for me or any options that I saw. I literally could see no options. And it was crazy to friends of mine. They're like, "What are you talking about?" They're like, "Open up your Instagram DMs right now." And I was like, no, you don't get it. You don't understand. I was literally talking, my friend Matt, he always says, he's like, you are like the ninja at talking yourself out of dating. I come up with all these reasons why not to. Why? Maybe because I was afraid of being hurt. Maybe I just had these super high standards. I saw a friend yesterday post something on Instagram of like her checklist for dating. And she had like a 5-point checklist that she needed for dating. Some of them were just funny and simple, like needs to have a job and stuff like that. Sometimes one of our ways that we block love from coming into our life is we make sure that we have a very extensive checklist. The longer the checklist, the more things that need to fall into place for us to actually allow love in. It's like a checklist that we have that ensures that we're not gonna open our heart or give anyone a chance. Guess what? That keeps us safe. That keeps us in familiar emotions. That keeps people from coming into our life. And that in that safe mode, it's reflecting back that either the emotional unavailability or it's reflecting back the sense of safety that we get from not actually having our needs met. So this is something to 100% be aware of. But one of the things I'd really encourage you to do is to first off, open up your damn heart, open up your heart, give people a chance. The more hypercritical you are of other people, the more they are gonna feel that on you. The more that then like there's people that are sitting around like, oh, I'm thinking about this person, but nope, I got this reason, this reason, this reason. Do they have this 18-point checklist that I have? That may be very well a defense mechanism towards feeling new emotions. So that's one of the first parts of this. Now, the second thing and the second reason that, you know, that's like reasoning is the thing that's blocking us from feeling love. The second reason has to do with when it comes down to the familiar, it has to come down to alignment is really what this is. Alignment. Now, when we talk about alignment and reasoning, this is like the meaning of your life, I guess. Like, what is the meaning of your life? What is your purpose? What'd you come here to do? If you find yourself single or attracting a certain type of archetype over and over again, many times that can be a reflection that you are not in alignment yourself. You find people that are in alignment when you are in alignment. Now you're in alignment when you're doing what you're passionate about, when you're bold, when you're courageous, when you're being the real you. That's it. Now here's the thing. I realized that when I was working a 9-to-5 job selling women's shoes, guess who I dated? I dated, I was working a 9 to 5 job I didn't like. Guess the kind of woman that I dated and I attracted. I attracted women that were also working 9 to 5 jobs that they hated. So what we would do is we'd go home at the end of our 9 to 5 job, we'd get done at 5, we'd go home and we would bitch about how stupid our jobs are and how we don't wanna be there. You find people that are an equal reflection of where you are. Now I will say as well, You are 10 times more magnetic when you are doing what you love. You might be watching this video right now and be like, "Damn, damn, Aaron's really magnetic. Oh my God, his energy's so magnetic." Not making fun of you if you sound like a Valley girl or anything, but just, I'm magnetic, I have magnetic energy. I know it sounds cocky. I know I do. Is that self-awareness? Is that narcissism? Probably. Most of this is just, I'm doing what I love. And when I do what I love, that energy is contagious. And when you do what you love, your energy is so damn attractive. It is so damn contagious. It will attract people to you. And at first, I had to also let go of the people that I guess were kind of weighing my energy down. And I did that by making the choice that I really had to commit to my vision of being on YouTube and my vision of making videos. And as I committed to that vision, what ended up happening is certain people fell away. It was part of the process. And when those people fell away, it made room for new people. If people were talking down at what I was doing, I mean, I had a lot of people that didn't believe in what I was doing, thought I was weird for making these kind of videos and stuff. But what happened is eventually when I let go of that, I allowed in new people, new friends, new people that were in alignment. And then what happened is, you wanna know something funny? Once I went full-time on YouTube in February of 2017, guess the kind of woman that I dated then? Women that were also doing what they love. We were more in an equal vibration to who we are and who we were being. The thing that may be blocking you is you're not in alignment with who you really are. Now, there's a double-faceted side of this as well. I, for many years, wasn't being the real me because I was seeking validation from other people. They call this a people pleaser, they call this a nice guy. Guess what? Women are not attracted to nice guys or men or whatever the sexual orientation is. But the idea is a guy that is nice, is a guy that is trying to manipulate somebody else into liking them. Nice is liking. Being kind is actual virtue. Nice is something for exchange. Oh, that person's really nice. I'm nice, give me something back. Give me back your validation in return. So I wasn't really being the polarizing version of me because I wanted something in exchange. So when I was dating people, I would want their validation. I would want them to see me a certain way. I would want, And that was manipulation and that was wanting validation. So the other aspect of this that I'd say is very important to go into is go into that of your own shadow, go into that and really be honest with yourself. Are you trying to manipulate people into liking you? Because if so, guess what you're gonna attract? People that want to manipulate you. I attracted controlling girlfriends for the first like 5, 7 years of me dating just because it reminded me, it felt safe, it felt similar to my ex-stepmom. You know, it's interesting, I recently did plant medicine in Costa Rica. I did something one of the days called huachuma, which is this cactus that gets you into almost a state of unconditional love. Now I know plant medicine's not for everybody. I'm not here trying to say that it is, but I had this very powerful realization about my dad when I was doing plant medicine, and that was, that why did my dad attract my ex-stepmom? My dad is the traditional nice guy. He attracted in my stepmom. My stepmom is a full-blown narcissist with borderline personality disorder, very all over the place, but just very angry. Why did my dad attract her? Well, I looked into my dad's past and you know what I could find? I could see that my dad craved structure. He craved safety. He craved, a framework that he could feel safe in. And guess what? He found that with my ex-stepmom. Now, why did he crave that? Well, looking at it, my dad's dad was an alcoholic who died when I was very young. I never met him. My dad's dad was an alcoholic who wasn't really there emotionally or physically for my dad. My dad had one memory specifically of his dad, and that was when my dad was like, 11 years old, my dad had to drive his dad home on the freeway in Florida because my dad's dad was so drunk. Imagine, would you feel safe as an 11-year-old driving your dad on the freeway? Your dad is telling you how to drive while he's completely hammered drunk and you're scared shitless trying to drive on the freeway at an 11-year-old. How would that feel? So I think what happened is my dad craved structure. It's funny now that I even think about it, my dad's favorite stepdad, yeah, my dad had a couple stepdads. His name was Andy. I never met him, but he was an Army general. That was the one my dad was closest to. Interesting, isn't it? Even now that I think about this, my dad craves structure. So he found himself my ex-stepmom who gave structure. And here's the crazy thing. After I was 15 years old, my dad divorced my ex-stepmom, have all this freedom. That freedom felt like anxiety to me. I remember there was a moment when I remember and I thought to myself, even though I have all this freedom now, it feels scary. I felt safer when I was back home having to sneak food, having to like work outside, locked out of the house most times, that felt safer. Isn't that crazy? No worries, I attracted women that could try to control me. I had girlfriends that were jealous, controlling, and I attracted that because it felt familiar. It felt safe. So becoming aware of these patterns is key. But when you start doing what you love and you really go after what you're passionate about, that changes everything. Now, also starting on January 1st to January 21st of this year coming up for 2022, I'm gonna be doing a 21-day Magnetic Abundance Challenge where we're gonna be rewiring abundance beliefs. We're gonna be rewiring the limiting beliefs that says I can't do what I love for a living. We're gonna be rewiring and looking into who are we really and what are we really passionate about? And also understanding money in a completely new way. Not trying to brag or anything, but I've created a very abundant lifestyle over the last couple years and I wanna show everything I've learned about that, plus bring in experts in this field of money beliefs for 21 days. It's a 21-day live event. You can join by clicking the link below. Join that of the 21-day live experience. This video come out when you can join. So now's the time to join to get all the bonuses, everything included. Click the link below, you'll get lifetime access to it if you join today as well, which is exciting. So that link works below. You could join, get lifetime access to it even after the 21 days, and I'm excited about that. So that's the second thing is understanding the meaning and are you living in alignment with the real you? So what is your values like? Now, the third step to this is exactly that I wanna go deeper into. Understanding the abandonment wound. And if you felt abandoned, then what happens is that's a familiar emotion. And the thing that you can start to become aware of is become aware of your values and also release shame. So that's the other part of this equation that changes everything. Now, for me, I opened my heart And that's how I met my girlfriend. I literally opened my heart and I started like, I stopped judging so many like women and people that I was, it was like a subconscious thing, but it was like a way of keeping me safe. I opened up my heart. That was a part of it. The other thing I had to do is release the shame though. And I realized that I had a lot of shame. Shame is an emotion or a meaning that says I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And what I had to realize is, I had to let go of the shame that I was attached to that came all the way from childhood, but also came up until like prior relationships. I realized that women that weren't choosing me, they were not choosing me because I'm not worthy. They were not choosing me because that was something that they were also dealing with. That was their own intimate block. And that was something that was like very, it took me a long time to realize this. So I really wanna share this with you in a very authentic way. But if you have found that in the past, maybe people didn't give you, maybe your needs weren't met, maybe you feel like there's something wrong with you, understand it's not your fault. It's not because you're not worthy enough. Realize it's more so about becoming aware of this shame, this belief that you're not, you're not worthy, and letting and realizing that it's not your fault, that was key for this. And that even with my ex-girlfriends and stuff like that, it was realizing that this stemmed all the way back to mom stuff. And it wasn't my fault growing up that my mom's dad died and that my mom was emotionally invested into that when I was 1. It wasn't 'cause I wasn't worthy, it was that she just had her own stuff going on. And I had to recognize that there was a little boy inside of me. There's like an inner child inside of me that just felt not heard, that felt not safe, that felt like my needs weren't being met. And that's okay. But as I became aware of that, I could then let go of that shame and realize that I am worthy. And for every one of you, when you start to let go of the shame that says you're broken, you will start to feel more worthy. It's not like you have to like wire in a belief of love and say, I am love, I am love, I am love. It's more so just let go of the belief that says I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. Your parents were doing the best they could with the level of consciousness they were at, but it's not your fault if your parents divorced. It's not your fault if you had an emotionally unavailable parent. It's not your fault. It's not 'cause you weren't worthy. And when you reframe meaning, that's what changes everything. That was a reframe. Realizing my mom did the best she could with where she was. My dad did the best he could with where he was, but also realizing that, oh, I am worthy. And once I made the choice to open my heart, that's when a lot really began to change. Now, when I talk about values as well, the thing that I encourage you to do is to get very clear on who you are. What values do you live by? What virtues do you live by? Because your beliefs tend to follow your values. If you believe that you are not worthy or you are afraid of abandonment, abandonment wound, then a lot of times your highest value might be feeling significant, getting other people's validation. It's a subconscious thing. But if that's the case, then you're attracting people that also have that as his top value, but also can't really choose you because you're in this cat and mouse game. So the thing that I'd really recommend you do is become aware of what are your values? Do you value authenticity? I value vulnerability now. I value authenticity now. I value me being the real me, even if it's polarizing. I value me saying what I really think and what I really feel. And as I started to have that higher standard for myself, I started to, not to mean that I have more checklists and things that people need to go, but I started holding myself to my own level of accountability. I started looking into the mirror and instead of waiting for the mirror to change, I started to become that love. This is a journey of you becoming love. That's really what this is. This is a journey of you letting go of your old limiting beliefs, letting go of the belief that you're not worthy, letting go of the shame, letting go of the guilt. Let it all go. Realize it's not your fault. Your parents' emotional unavailability is not your fault. Your parents' abandoning is not your fault. It's not your fault. And when you start realizing that, you can start to more so be this more authentic version of you. You'll start to have more courage, have more confidence, go after what you're passionate about. You go after what you're passionate about, guess what happens? You have more energy, you're more magnetic. People could feel that on you, that energy on you, and it'll be easy. So the only reason you're single is because the reasons you have are keeping you in the vibration of being single. They're familiar, they're familiar emotions. Realize you can let go of believing that you're not worthy. You can let go of the familiar emotions of emotional unavailability and make the choice to open your heart. If there's one thing I can tell you is to open up your damn heart. And as you do, your whole life will begin to change. Now, when you change your love vibration, that's really when everything begins to change. So if you wanna learn 5 ways to increase your love vibration so that you are more magnetic than ever, then watch this video you see here. You will learn those 5 ways and it will completely transform your life. You will be a completely new person. Version of you. If you treat someone like a celebrity, then they will treat you like a fan. Now think about that. When we talk about energy dynamics and we talk about why we are