The 3 Things To MASTER Before You Meet Someone

When people don't master these 3 things, they end up either doing 1 of 3 things. They either attract emotionally unavailable people. The second thing they may do is they find themselves that they block love altogether, that they don't even get that of attraction, or they end up feeling like they have blocks with allowing love in. And then thirdly, they find that they end up attracting toxic patterns that are familiar patterns from the past. So in this video, I'm gonna show you the 3 things you must master so that you don't have that kind of life situation and so that it's much easier for you to be in that love frequency. So the first one to this process is emotional unavailability. So the thing you must master is becoming emotionally available. Now I know that for myself and just for things I've had to go through in my own life, What I have found is that what happens with emotional unavailability, if you find yourself dating someone that's checked out, if you find yourself dating someone that's not present, then what that means is there is a projection of energy that is there that is mirroring that energy back. So that's the hard truth about this a lot of times. I remember when I was going through a process, and I'm always, going through being completely vulnerable with you guys. I'm always going through a process myself of becoming more and more emotionally available, opening up my heart more and more. But I found that I had this story where I would attract people that were emotionally unavailable or that weren't choosing me. And what I realized is that there was a harsh reality truth there I had to become aware of, and that was that at a certain level, I was emotionally unavailable. Or I was used to, and I'd say I was used to emotional unavailability, and normally this stems back to childhood. So what you'll find is that unless you look at this within yourself and you become aware is of, are there emotional unavailability patterns there? And how do you know what that is? That is a lot of times when somebody, when you find somebody else maybe isn't present, when you find that you're trying to maybe fight for someone else's attention, someone else's approval, what ends up happening is it's like there's a fight for that energy and it's a similar energy dynamic normally from childhood. So maybe in childhood, who did you have to be for your parents to give you love and affection? Who did you have to be to get their attention? When one of your siblings was born, did maybe the attention shift to them? Or maybe were you the one that had all the attention? So now if you're not getting it, you feel a certain way about it. I know for me growing up, when I was 3 years old, my brother was born and my brother had asthma. He had like a lot of attention went from me to him. And I know that in that moment when the attention shifted, I felt like maybe like I'm not worthy, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not worth having the attention on me. And I remember growing, I know this also because I did a plant medicine ceremony and also different levels of meditation where like this memory's kind of come up because I never knew it was consciously there. If anything, I've been completely afraid, not afraid, but completely reject attention. When the attention goes on me, like for birthdays and stuff, I would never really let the attention fully be on me. I in fact never really had like a proper birthday with friends throwing parties and stuff like that because I just was always kind of uncomfortable with the attention being on me up until like last year actually, just like a couple months ago when it was my birthday. I had like close friends around and it was like this really cool special thing. But prior to that, I never really celebrated my birthday because I never really liked the attention. Funny, right? Because it's like here I am on YouTube making videos and it's like there's a part of me that was still afraid of like shining or having that attention on me. But part of that was because I was used to have to fight for it or like there was a belief of unworthiness there. So one of the most powerful things you can do if you find yourself attracting emotionally unavailable people is realize that you may have familiarized somebody that's not choosing you or you may be familiar with this cat and mouse game where there's like a codependent behavior where you're chasing someone else's validation or approval, and it stems from childhood normally. And one of the strongest ways to heal that energy is to look at your own patterns and become aware of it. Remember, 90% of all transformation is awareness. So it's becoming aware of these patterns. When I became aware of these patterns, I was like, wow, I thought that this was me focused on this person or this situation, but really this is a familiar pattern from childhood. And when you look at that, then you start to wake up, then you start to realize, do I wanna keep feeding this paradigm? So emotional unavailability is a projection and it is a projection that says you are emotionally unavailable because at a certain level, there's a part of the self that is emotionally unavailable. And the key to this is making the choice to open the heart, making the choice to go into the unfamiliar emotions. And I'll tell you that having somebody that is emotionally unavailable will feel kind of weird. So in a way, it's like there's a familiarity with being with someone that's emotionally unavailable. And if somebody was emotionally available, you straight up will not, maybe not even be attracted to them at first. And that's the trippy thing about this, not even not attracted to them, you might find it like there's layers to it, to getting deeper and deeper. I remember that I dated a girl back in 2016 or something like that. And I was used to that cat and mouse type thing where like I like somebody and it was like this almost like adrenaline, not adrenaline, but like anxious feeling thing that I was used to. And there was this girl that I dated that was just crazy about me. She just had all these strong emotions. There was a lot of polarity, but It was like, I was in my mind, I was like, I would never date, I would never actually make this official. So for a year we dated on and off, but it was like me not committing. It was like, it just felt like there was something off, there was something wrong. Like it just, she liked me, that was the thing. And I wasn't used to somebody liking me. I was used to fighting for somebody to like me because that felt familiar. So the reason I share this with you is you wanna master these things so that you don't attract familiar patterns from the past. Now the cure to this too, by the way, is the second thing that you must master. And that is vulnerability and authenticity. Vulnerability and authenticity. Now, when I was, there was a period of time, even just like 2 years ago, a year and a half ago, when I felt so struggled with like attracting love and attract just in general. And I was like, I know all these concepts, but for some reason, like I feel blocked. And what I realized it was, was there was a belief there first off, that I was unworthy. That was one of the main things. And I think a lot of times there's a level of shame, shame that comes a lot from childhood. There was shame because of the emotional unavailability growing up when I was younger. I felt like there was something wrong with me. That's what shame is. It says I'm broken. And the thing is, is to combat shame, what some of us do is we do everything we can so that people don't find out The truth. And the truth is, well, this isn't the truth, of course, but the truth that what if people find out I'm not worthy? What if people find out, you know, some negative thing about me? And shame does not want to be light shown on it. That's why shame hides. One of the things and the side effects of shame is either being a people pleaser or a nice guy. And what that means is somebody else is tuning to the validation or the approval of somebody else. And me growing up, that was my reality up until a couple, even like 2 years ago, I had such trouble setting boundaries with people. So, and the reason being is because like I felt like if I let them down, I would feel their disapproval because I was so empathic. But the thing to realize with this is the nice guy and the people pleaser, it's manipulation. Think about it. It's like, I'm going to be nice to you, I'm going to be this certain way to you, and you're gonna give me validation and approval as an exchange. Because if somebody doesn't give you what you want, normally you won't be that way. That's the difference between being nice and being kind. Being nice is I am nice because I want something, I want a certain response or reaction. Being kind is it's who I am. It's a part of my identity. Now, one of the keys to me shifting out of the paradigm of nice guy people pleaser into being authentic, which sometimes means being kind, but I had to switch around my values. I had to look at my values and realize that I valued what other people thought of me more than I valued me being in my own frame, me being in my own body. And the reason I share this is because this is perhaps one of the most powerful transformative things that I've ever been through when it comes to transformation is learning how to switch around my values. This is something I remember like seeing Tony Robbins teach at his conferences and stuff. And I used to think, you know, beliefs create reality and I get that. And it's like, if I believe I'm unworthy, then I'll experience a reality that's equal to me being unworthy. But values, I never really resonated with it until I understood that like values are the virtue of your identity. And if you say, well, like my dad, by the way, he's like the nicest guy in the world and that's where I got that nice guy pattern from that I had to let go of. And I ask my dad sometimes, like, why are you so nice? He's like, you know, it's just who I am. It's just, it's who I am. It's like, I believe, you know, he always says like, I believe you should treat people the way they wanna be treated. And I see what he's saying. And I do agree you should treat people the way you wanna be treated. But when it's attached to the outcome, being nice is attached to like getting people's validation and approval, that's when it's a tricky slope or a slippery slope. Trickery slope, a slippery slope. And the thing is, is you literally will believe it's a part of your identity. It's a part of your virtues. So what I had to do is I had to start valuing authenticity and vulnerability because remember, shame does not wanna have the light shone on it of awareness. Vulnerability is the ability to express yourself. Vulnerability is the ability to show yourself. Knowing that maybe there is a chance you could get rejected or there could be some disapproval, but guess what? It's authentic. And that was a game changer for me because one of the parts of a nice guy is like a nice guy is afraid of showing their interest in someone when they're dating. So they'll be in the friend zone a lot of times for a long time. So one thing I did when I started to shift this energy about a year and a half ago is when I would go on dates and even when I met my girlfriend, One thing I did is I was very upfront with her. I was very much myself. I wasn't afraid of certain things. I remember I was afraid. I knew she was like a super healthy vegan and like all these things. So when she came to me in Sedona, like I bought all this food for her and stuff and I was worried. I remember because the past version of me would've tried to change myself, would've tried to make me look like what I thought she wanted. And then I made a choice in that moment. I said, you know what? Maybe, you know, 'cause sometimes certain people that are vegan, they like wouldn't be with someone that's not. So I was like, huh, you know? And I knew that we had a connection and stuff just from like our interactions. So one thing I had to do is I had to be vulnerable and I'd be like, this is not the way that I am. And it wasn't like I had to be this grandiose thing like, this is the way that I am, but it was more so like I just had to be bold with who I am. And funny enough, especially being in a masculine energy, it's like that is actually attractive being who you are and expressing yourself, not afraid of somebody disapproving. So when it comes to dating and attracting love, one thing you really want to master is being vulnerable. Another aspect of that was me showing even just sexual interest to my girlfriend, showing that I don't want to just be your friend. I don't want to just talk about like, you know, spiritual stuff. Like, I have attraction to you. And the nice guy would never done that. So the reason I should, you want to, if you're a people pleaser, if you want someone with validation, approval, you wanna start giving yourself that validation and approval by also switching up your values and valuing authenticity over people's validation. That will be a game changer. Now, the third one, and probably one of the most powerful things that you can do before you actually attract the person or you attract that love, is you want to heal your inner child. Your inner child, every one of us has an inner child inside of us that feels unmet, our needs were not met. We feel unheard, we may not feel safe, we may have blocks to love, blocks to intimacy because when we were kids, we may have had some type of experience where something happened where we said, this isn't safe. And we started to close our energy off from intimacy, from love, from connection. And unless we look at and we meet the needs of our own inner child, we will continue to attract people that we think will fill the needs of our inner child if we don't fill them. So this is one of the most powerful things to realize for this whole entire process. It's healing your inner child. Have you ever seen that photo? It's like a well-known photo, I think at Burning Man. I'll go and put it right here, but it's like, these two sculptures of like these people that are apart. They're like, they're sitting away from each other and inside there's these little children that are like holding each other's hands like this. It's a very powerful photo. But the thing is, is like, we'll experience so much pain and so much maybe attracting different types of relationships and stuff like that until we meet the needs of our inner child. Now I do have a meditation. It's one of my most powerful meditations. It's absolutely free. It's for healing your inner child. We energetically go to Hawaii, Kauai, Kauai in Hawaii, and we do this energy activation in this meditation for bringing in and healing our inner child. I get people that DM me all the time about it and their experience with it. So if you haven't listened to that yet, download it below, listen to it for 21 days, watch how it changes your life. And then also realize that for this, there is a process, a step-by-step process that can completely transform your life with attracting love. It's one of my most popular videos that shows you step-by-step what to do. Go ahead and watch this video here. It's a proven process for attracting love and watch what happens. The most effective and powerful way of attracting love and manifesting love when really it's a kind of a counterintuitive thing because manifesting love and attracting love is both