The 3 Ways To Get Over Your Ex & ATTRACT LOVE

One of the number one blocks to attracting love is when people stay attached to their ex. That will literally make other options invisible to you and actually push people away. Now, in this video, I'm gonna show you the 3 ways to finally let go of your ex so that you can actually attract love. The first way to get over your ex is to realize that the meaning you give to your ex the meaning you give to them, the story that you have about them is what is keeping them on this pedestal and making it hard to let go. And the reason this is, is because what relationships are for us is relationships are ways we create meaning. Everything in our life has zero built-in meaning other than the meaning we give it. Now, what happens is we have certain experiences with people. And a lot of times in a weird way, we may actually go through a lot of pain with someone, but because that pain is something that feels familiar, many times familiarized from childhood, we end up tagging a lot of attachment to it because it's familiar meaning. So when we think about that of love, the thing we need to realize is that what happens in a relationship is we create beautiful meaning with someone. And what we are actually afraid to let go of in a relationship is the meaning. That's why letting go is hard because we're actually letting go of the meaning we give to someone because we also developed this story and this idea that this is the only person. And we are then in this scarcity mode. But one of the things that I had to learn on my journey of this is I had to learn to bring the energy back to myself. I've been in relationships before where I create deep meaning with somebody, but what ends up happening or what has happened is I then get into this, like, they call it, it's this kind of attachment where it's almost like the, if I were to let go of that, I'd be letting go of my one shot of love. I'd be letting go of a part of myself. And the part of myself is literally a part of the identity that I would have with somebody. But one of the things I see happen so often, have you seen this energy dynamic play out with a friend? I'm sure you have. If you have a friend that's having a hard time getting over their ex, and then what they do is they go and they can't, they keep thinking about them, they keep trying to text them, and it's like the more they're doing, the more they're actually messing it up for themselves. Because everyone can feel what we feel. So it's like that, their ex feels that energy and is like keeping them back. But then what happens is that friend that you have then goes on out with friends. That friend you have then goes and does something that they wanna do. Maybe they go on a retreat or something and they start putting their awareness, the intention back onto themselves. And then you see them 2 weeks later and they're doing much better. And you're like, what happened? How'd you get over them? And they're like, I don't know, I just started doing these things and I started focusing on myself and it's like, now it's not nearly as bad. And the thing with this is what this is and what deep relationships are is they are different forms of meaning. And what we are afraid of letting go of is that meaning because we are afraid that we are not going to recreate that meaning in our life. That's why at the end of a breakup, you might feel a little bit empty. You feel empty because the meaning, there's now this fresh room inside of yourself to create new meaning. So one of the things I very often recommend people do that are trying to get over an ex is to put the awareness and put the attention back on the self. Ask yourself, what new passion do I wanna go into? What new, What friends could I reconnect with or what friends could I make? What new hobbies could I try out? Because when you do these new things, it will begin to create new meaning within yourself and it'll be easier and easier for you to let go. So realize that what you think you are afraid to let go of actually may be something much deeper than it actually is, It's not about the person. And that'll lead us to the second way to get over your ex is to actually heal and become aware of the energy dynamic that was around when you were a kid. This was a game changer for me because I know that in past relationships, one or two of them that were very hard for me to let go of someone, what I realized was that there was a level of shame, feeling I was broken, feeling like there was something wrong with me And I thought it was the other people, like if the other people would just come around and understand how great I was, then everything would be great. But I had a story about them. And what I realized is the same story that I had where I felt I wasn't being chosen, I felt like I wasn't valued, I could then see that when I was a kid, I had that same emotion. When I was 3 years old, I think that part of this was, if you have siblings, sometimes this can happen too. When my brother was born when I was 3, he had asthma problems and he got a lot of attention, understandably so. But because the attention went primarily to him, I felt unseen. I felt like maybe I didn't matter, like there was something wrong with me. And there was also aspects where I think my parents were just going through a lot of stuff 'cause then they divorced when I was 5 and before that they were going through stuff and they just had their own emotional stuff going on. I felt, what felt normal to me is being with somebody that wasn't emotionally available or not able to choose me. So I familiarized that emotion. And then when I'm in relationships, I'm like, oh, the problem's them, the problem's them. But really the problem was me. This is the other thing about this process. When people attract emotionally unavailable people, it's because at a certain level they have familiarized emotional unavailability. Or a little bit harder to hear, there's a part of yourself that might be emotionally unavailable. That was me. I was realizing that I'm attracting this story and attracting this kind of thing because I am literally emotionally unavailable. So I had to start opening up my heart. So realize that for this process of letting go, if you get to the core root of that, of your childhood trauma or your childhood experiences of feeling not chosen, maybe feeling the emotional unavailability or whatever it is, And then you start to realize this one thing, it's not your fault. Your parents' emotional unavailability or physical unavailability was not your fault. Their divorce was not your fault. When you, when as little kids, see, as kids, we thought it was our fault and we're still living in a paradigm that says it's our fault, therefore we keep experiencing a reality where that energy dynamic stays alive. So healing the energy from our childhood is about simply becoming aware of it, and nurturing our own inner child, giving some attention to our inner child and realizing that we can love that aspect of ourself. We can give our inner child what we actually crave. So first off, remember, what do we have? Meaning. Letting go of your ex is about letting go of the old meaning, becoming aware of that and realizing that you may have created deep meaning, but at the same time, maybe that deep meaning also was familiarized emotions from your relationship with your parents and your childhood dynamics. And then secondly, identify the childhood dynamics so that then you can actually become more emotionally available so that you're actually emotionally available for attracting love and that who you end up attracting is somebody that meets you at that way, meets you in that emotional availability. Otherwise, you might attract somebody that is emotionally available or whatever the dynamic is. Maybe growing up you had someone that was very controlling. A parent that was very criticizing and gaslighted you. And then now you're like, why do I attract people that gaslighted me? Now the weird thing is, is that even though it's a familiarized emotion of somebody that might be gaslighting you that reminds you of when you were a kid being gaslighted, there's something called Stockholm syndrome where you find yourself gravitating to this energy in a weird way. I remember when I was 15 and my dad divorced my ex-stepmom, I remember feeling empty. Now I don't have someone controlling me anymore. And I had all this freedom and I was allowed to have friends and I was allowed to eat like enough food 'cause I was very malnourished and I didn't have sneak food on the other side of the house. I didn't have to earn going to school activities. But there was a part of me that felt anxious because all of this freedom feels weird. I want someone to tell me what to do. I want control. So what did I do? I attracted people that wanted to either control me or ex-girlfriends that were trying to control me or very jealous, or I attracted managers. Or try to control me until I healed that energy with my ex-stepmom and I became aware of that meaning. That changed everything. Now, the third way to let go of your ex is very simple yet very powerful. And it's realizing that there's this thing called oneitis. Oneitis is where you take one person and you tell yourself this big story and then you think that they are and they were the one that was supposed to be meant to be. And the thing with oneitis is because we've been socially conditioned from a very young age to believe in this one thing, this oneitis, we end up putting people on a pedestal and ends up butchering up the energy. And a lot of that, now I'm not gonna blame it all on Disney movies 'cause I know we all love our Lion King and Aladdin and all that, but there's this narrative that we learned growing up about this. It's almost like you will not be happy until you do XYZ. I was reading this thing last night called "The Backwards Law" by Alan Watts. The backwards law is this law that if we want to be in a relationship or we want our ex back, we want anything, because we want it and because we desire it and because we're seeking, we're actually blocking it from our lives. And I've talked about this in videos before because if you say, "I want love," it means I'm not love. I want means I lack. So the key with this is wanting your ex back is actually blocking your ex from coming into your life. Wanting love is actually blocking love. The key to this is stopping the oneitis thing, stopping the prolonging the love for the future, and instead embodying that love energy right now, making the commitment and making the choice to be inside your own heart. And to express a level of passion, meaning with other things in your life. Now realize the one thing you can't control, one of the things you can't control in life, one of the main ones is relationships. You cannot, you can't, if you go on a date with someone, you're trying to control how they think about you, what they feel, if everything's going well, they will feel that resistance on you. But if you go with the flow, if you trust the universe, everything opens up for you. And realize that with attracting love, you don't have to have it be something that is like you have to control it and everything. The universe will allow it to happen, will allow things to happen once you allow, once you surrender, once you let go, once you take someone off a pedestal, once you recreate meaning in your life, once you look at your childhood dynamics and you begin to heal and look at that from a new perspective. Now there is something also that will really help you with this. A lot of this is rooted in the inner child healing. One of the most powerful meditations I've ever made is on inner child healing. We energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii, bring forth our inner child and do an activation with it to heal. It's a completely free meditation to listen to. I'll go ahead and link it in the description box below. You could check that out and realize that for this process of healing, it's like you're healing your timeline when you go through this. When you go and you connect to that energy. Now also at the same time with reversing this energy dynamic, one of the most powerful videos I've ever made, it's got over 2.5 million views. It's on how you could stop chasing love and reverse that energy very quickly using a very powerful technique. That video is right here. Watch this video and watch what happens to your energy by the end of it. If you treat someone like a celebrity, then many times they will treat you like a fan. The key to this is understanding that power dynamic and this is this video, I'm going to show you exactly how to switch that around so that they chase you.