The Dark Side of Desire that is RUINING Your life (and you don't even know it)
In this video Aaron Doughty explains how the common law‑of‑attraction teaching of "white‑hot burning desire" has a hidden, destructive side. He argues that desire, when rooted in ego and a sense of lack, creates a perpetual cycle of wanting more, which leads to suffering and a feeling of unworthiness. Using personal stories—his chase for YouTube subscriber milestones and a transformative breathwork session—he illustrates how this desire manifests as a metaphysical armor that forces constant effort. Doughty then presents an alternative approach: shifting from a desire‑based, "have‑do‑be" mindset to a "be‑do‑have" state of consciousness anchored in the heart, presence, and self‑acceptance. He describes how embodying the feeling of already having what you want raises your vibration, makes success flow more easily, and reduces the ego’s grip. Practical advice includes focusing on what you love, staying present, and separating identity from outcomes. The video concludes with a promotion for his upcoming program, the Shift Experience, which promises to guide participants beyond ego‑based living into a higher state of consciousness.
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This video, I'm going to be sharing with you the dark side of desire that may be ruining your life. I'm going to show you a better way to go about the process that can totally change your life. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the dark side of desire that may be ruining your life and understanding a new way for going about the process. And this is something that we may have been told for many, many years. It's the old school way of going about it when it comes to the law of attraction. It's the thing I know I read it originally in Think and Grow Rich, talks about a white-hot burning desire and how that can get you success. And it is true, desire can get you results. However, there's a dark side to it and there's a better way to go about it. That's what I'm going to be sharing with you in this video. So first off, let me just explain it like this. When we have a desire and we say that we really, really— why is this thing so hard to open? Okay. Anyways, when we say that I, I want which is another way of saying I desire. When we say I want something vibrationally, and we talk about vibration vibrationally, it's saying I do not have, which then implies because I do not have, I do not have enough. So many times the desire will reflect back to us a lack in our life as if we're already lacking in something. And many times this is actually derived from the sense of self-worth. How do we feel about ourselves? Now, do you remember or have you seen the quote before of that of Buddha that says the desire is the root of all suffering. Desire is the root of all suffering. That's something that is one of the most classic Buddha statements that we know that I've heard, and many, I've seen it many, many times before, and it's a little bit counterintuitive. You think, well, desire brings freedom. Desire brings the ability to take action, the ability to achieve goals. Well, that might be a more positive side of desire. But many times what happens is this is what happens. People from the ego perspective, here's my classic stick figure. From the ego's perspective, the ego wants more. It desires to become more, so it just desires to become bigger in some way. And what it does is it takes action. It does things to get itself to feel better, to feel better about itself, to feel bigger. But what happens? Is eventually this person will get there where they have the desire, but guess what'll happen? They'll want more. It's a mentality. Desire is a state of consciousness that some people remain in their whole entire lives, and for many people can end up ruining their lives. There are many people that become successful because of desire, because they are, are making a certain amount of money and they want to make more and it does— they desire and they take action to make more. But what ends up happening is once they get that more, they still feel a sense of lack. They still don't feel worthy, whole, and complete. I've experienced this firsthand when in my mind I was very curious. In my mind I was thinking, oh, when I started making YouTube videos, I was like, once I hit 100,000 YouTube subscribers, it's going to feel amazing. I'll have made it then. But I remember I woke up one morning, I went to bed one night at 98,000 or 97,000 subscribers and I was like, okay, I'm going to make a video, like a Q&A, thank you Q&A to the subscribers. Once I hit 100,000, I went to bed one night, woke up the next day at 101,000. I had a video that went viral overnight and when it went viral, it, I got like 2,000 or 3,000 subscribers in one day and I woke up and I was like, whoa, this is really cool. I went to the gym. I was there for like an hour. I was on this little cardio bike thing. And then what happened is I eventually sat there and I was like, huh, this doesn't really feel that much different. And then I upped it in my mind and I said $200,000. I started identifying with the future again and I lived out that pattern for a very long time, even after I think 300,000 or 400,000, about 300,000 subs, I was still living in that paradigm. I was taking action every single day. I was making daily videos on YouTube. I still do today, but I was doing it from this desperate energy of always trying to get more. If I could get just a little bit more, maybe then I could finally be worthy. And then I had an experience where I did something called breathwork. I did this breathwork where I would, um, called transformational breathwork. I would breathe in a certain pattern, and what that would do is that would allow so much oxygen in my body that would bring up things that were like deeply suppressed. And I realized that some of the pain that I went through when I was a kid because I had an abusive ex-stepmom, some of that translated into a meaning that said I'm not worthy. So what I did is I put on this armor, this metaphysical armor, armor that said, I have to become this accomplished go-getter. I have to accomplish more, especially for all the people that have doubted me. And I remember I was talking to the— I thought transformational breathwork was so cool because I'd never had an experience just breathing like that before. And all of a sudden seeing these colors and having my hands clenched up like this while I was in the middle of it. And it was like this really— I could tell this tenseness in my hand of the ego trying to control things for 40 minutes. You're breathing in a certain pattern. And then afterwards I talked to one of the breathwork instructors and she was like, yes, you can tell someone's personality by looking at their breathing, just how they breathe. What I did is I've taken deep breaths and I clenched my back. I still do it to this day, but I'm more aware of it. But I like this. And what she said that is, is there's like this armor that's around your back that's holding in your breath and you have to force a little bit more in because you always need a little bit more. And that was this armor I put on of this kind of person I had to become in order to be loved. So what she did, even after this breathwork of like everyone doing this breathwork together, she stayed with me and she helped me and I would breathe in and she would like say affirmations and touch certain parts of my body and certain parts of my chest. Like, you can let go now. Yes, you don't have to work so hard. You can just allow things to be easy. Things can be easier for you. And it was like affirmations tapped into also like relaxing certain parts of my breathing pattern so that I can breathe in more loosely. So what happened is I used that as a metaphor for life in general. Where was I forcing things in my life? Where was I not feeling 100% worthy, whole and complete already in my life that was causing more and more of this suffering, more of this resistance? On a certain level, people on the surface would look at me and go, Aaron is successful. He's making daily views on YouTube. He's growing very quickly. But on the inside, I was always wanting more, always wanting more instead of going within for what I was looking for. And that was causing a lot of, uh, causing me to honestly to distance myself from a lot of people as well. I was so identified with the future and so identified with this level I wanted to get that there were people I was neglecting. I wasn't seeing as much. There was this lack mentality that I had. And here's the irony: once I went beyond desire and I went into a state of consciousness of being instead of having or doing, success came easier than ever, and I enjoyed the success much more. Because then I was in a vibration of being that which I wanted. It's much more loose. I was having fun with the process. I was doing what I wanted to do. It's the biggest paradox. I literally took the step back and I said, you know what, I'm going to focus on my personal life and just have fun for a while. I do that, videos start going viral, all of this stuff starts happening and I'm paying less attention to it all. Now, if you look at that scale of consciousness that I've shared in many videos, you'll see desire, I think resonates at 125. It doesn't resonate very high because a lot of times desire is also has this undertone of desperation. And remember, if you really, really want something, you really, really do not currently have it. That's the vibration. Because if you had it, it would just be you. It would just be your reality. The vibration of wanting and the vibration of having are two totally separate vibrations. Like, imagine the version of you that wants to make more money. Imagine that the way that version of you carries themselves. Imagine the way that version of you thinks, feels, the body language of that version of you. Now imagine the version of you that has that already. How does that version of you carry yourself? How does that version of you interact with other people? How confident is that version of you? You see, when you look at these two different versions of you, there are two different versions of you. One is, I want, I, I, it's this, it's this longing for this desperation, which many times many people have, whether they realize it or not, because they don't know where the wanting is coming from. Here's the thing. The wanting comes from many times, most times the wanting will come from an ego that thinks it is not enough. And I see this a lot of times when I look at, even when I watch Shark Tank, sometimes I see some of those people on Shark Tank and they're worth some of them over $100 million to billions of dollars, but you can see underneath them that they want more money, more money, more money. Some of them don't. Some of them are in the vibration of just having, but you can tell that some of them deep down aren't very happy. They're not very— you can tell, and it's not a judgment call. It's not to say, oh, money doesn't mean happiness. If you're doing what you're passionate about, you're doing what you love, money may come as a side effect, but when it's always about I want, desire more, I desire more, it's coming from an ego that doesn't feel like it's enough. Now here's what a lot of people do is they try to change the ego with the ego. But remember, Einstein himself said it, you cannot change a problem from the same level of the same level the problem was created. And any problem we have is self-imposed by the ego. It's self-imposed. It's an inner thing. It appears to be outer. The outer reality is just reflection anyways. So what we've been doing is we've been using our ego. All self, most self-development information has been the ego changing the ego to become a little bit more. But many times by the time you become a little bit more and you desire more, then you'll decide you're up it again. Then you want to become even bigger. And you'll still feel like you are not enough. And it's because there hasn't been a transformation. A transformation of consciousness occurs when you realize the truth about who you are. You are not just a 3D physical avatar ego body. You are an eternal spiritual being living a temporary human experience. And the more you tap into your heart center is the more you go beyond thinking and having. Those are superficial compared to being. Being is about also being in your heart. I know it sounds cliché, but if you look at that scale of consciousness, you'll notice that there's desire, but eventually you get up to that of love, of reasoning. Those are the levels of the heart, but in order to get there, you got to let go of desire in the sense of the neediness of trying to become more. Desire has its benefits in certain ways. Many times what happens though is we say, I really, really want something. Sometimes then what happens is the desire will push us to take action and we become more like this version. So it's us giving ourselves permission to then become more, to become more, to become more. But what you can do is realize Reality works the other way around. It's not have, do, be. It's be, do, have. If you live as the perfect version of you now, that is who you are. You are being that version of you. Then you will eventually have that you want, which you want to have, and do that which you want to do. We've got it flipped. Desire, saying you don't currently have something, is looking to the external reality for validation. Everything you want is a reflection of your inner state of consciousness. You can feel any inner state of consciousness you want by letting go of what doesn't serve and by raising your vibration. It's all within. Everything on the outside is a reflection of the inside. So a desire is an emphasis on the lack of vibrational consciousness that you have within you. It's an— it's in a way, it's an ignorance that the information, the energy is not already within you. It is within you already. You can tap into it by tapping into being. You don't, you don't need to do something and then you can have it and then you can be it. Give yourself permission to be it now. And by being it now, you then feel in a higher vibrational state. This is when it's connected to your heart. And that's when, when I started just doing what I love to do, I was like, I love making videos. I'm going to make videos, but I'm not going to do it with this neediness to get more subscribers, get more status, become more, because then I'll eventually be worthy. I'm like, I am worthy. This is what I love to do. Also, when we desire something, we are projecting ourselves to the future. Or if we desire something in the past to be different, we're projecting ourselves to the past. Being is about being present to the moment, so it's about tapping into the present moment and it's tapping into our heart center. Those two things are the alternative to the desire, which is emphasizing a state of consciousness of lack. It's using the ego to change the ego. It is a paradigm that works. But it doesn't work that efficiently and there's a dark side to it because you'll find many times that if you remain in that desired level of consciousness, you always will feel that desire. It's till you raise your consciousness that you then begin to transform. You realize that you can feel everything you want from within by accessing those levels of consciousness. They're ready for it. They're here for you right now. It's about tapping into it, embodying it, and transforming, not changing. Changing is from the level of desire. I have this, I change to this, I change to this, and then I give my permission to be this. Transformation is when you realize you already are this. The levels of consciousness are already within you. It's just that we use these little symbols in our mind as what it takes for us to get somewhere. Once I have the car, once I have the money, then I can give myself permission to feel a certain way. You can feel all of those now. And by tapping into that, you tap into transformation rather than tapping into not enoughness. Desire brings suffering. Like Buddha said, desire brings suffering. Desire sometimes can bring you to take action to then eventually move into the vibration of having. It gives you this permission in your mind to be or to have something. But if people remain in the desire their whole life, they'll live their whole entire lives not feeling like they have enough. So what I encourage you to do is to focus on what you love to be doing. Focus on being inside your heart. Do what you love because it's what you love, not because it gets you somewhere else. This was when you tap more into your identity. Anytime you make something very, very important, you vibrationally separate yourself from it. When people have desires, they normally have their goals, their desires on a pedestal, and it's very, very important. Which then means that they're not in vibrational resonance with it. So what I encourage you to do is to get into being, to access those higher states of consciousness. Now, on July 17th of this year, the Shift Experience is finally going live. The Shift Experience will help you to shift beyond the 3D avatar ego and into a new state of consciousness, showing you how to create your reality from a totally new perspective beyond desire, beyond the unworthiness, the limitations that we impose. You see, our ego is always trying to become more. Our ego is just in survival mode, doing its best to stay consistent to the way it defines itself. It's all the ego does. Many people live their whole lives as their ego, but when you transform beyond the ego, your whole life begins to change. So So if you want updates and first access to the Shift Experience, go ahead and put your email on the top of the description box below. You'll see a link there. That is the coming soon Shift Experience page. I will send you the information first as updates as to when that becomes available. It's going to be, uh, it's the most powerful thing I've ever made. It's 99% done. I'm just adding a couple more things to it and I'm so excited to release it because it's going to help so many people transform their lives. Now on the other side of this, if you haven't followed me on Instagram yet, you can follow me below right here. I post twice a day there, plus I also do live Q&As quite often. I did one yesterday for about 45 minutes. If you have questions for me, you can go there as well. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video. Feel free to like this video if you liked it. Subscribe if you haven't already. It's a little notification here so you can see the daily vids that I do. And other than that, as always, peace, much love, and namaste.
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