The MYTH of the Divine Masculine (NOT what you think)
In this video Aaron Doughty challenges the popular spiritual notion of the "divine masculine" as a balanced blend of masculine and feminine traits. He argues that true masculine energy is characterized by single‑pointed focus, purpose, and decisive action, while feminine energy embodies flow and being. He introduces the concept of healthy polarization—allowing one’s dominant polarity (masculine or feminine) to be expressed authentically—as a source of attraction and personal power. Aaron links this to shadow work, describing how unintegrated shadow aspects (e.g., the "nice‑guy" mask) dilute masculine presence and lead to passivity. Drawing on his own upbringing—an abusive step‑parent, a overly accommodating father, and recent experiences at the gym—he illustrates how lack of boundaries and validation‑seeking erode authentic polarity. He offers practical advice: set firm boundaries, engage in activities that reinforce the dominant polarity (e.g., sports, gym, purposeful work), speak bluntly without fear of judgment, and recognize the difference between genuine compassion and the nice‑guy façade. Aaron concludes by inviting viewers to comment on the divine feminine, attend a shadow‑integration webinar, and encourages likes, subscriptions, and further engagement.
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This video, I'm going to be showing you the myth of what a lot of people refer to as the divine masculine, what it really is, and how you can tap into the polarization of who you really are. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now let me first off say that this video is not just for guys. Wanting to understand more about the divine masculine. This video is also for women understanding more about something that is called polarization, something that has to do with embodying the authentic expression of who we are rather than most— a lot of people walk around with part of their shadow, what is called their shadow, the unconscious part of themselves, which projects out certain levels of their personality that might not be actually congruent to who they really are. Now there's this term that we refer to a lot as the divine masculine, the divine feminine, and what I'm going to be showing you in this video is that polarization is actually a good thing. Polarization is something that really accentuates who we are in this 3D physical experience and what most people in the spiritual community talk about when it comes to the divine masculine or the divine feminine is more about like this middle way where it's like we're, we're half one and half the other. That's the divine masculine, or we're half female, half— we, we all have these energies within us. We are spiritual beings that are having temporary human experiences. So we have within us masculine traits. We have within us feminine traits. There is a level of duality in this reality. Kind of rhymes. There's a level of duality in this reality that every single one of us are plugged into, and the key to this is integrating our shadow and becoming aware of these unconscious parts of ourselves that may have started to put us in the opposite polarization that we prefer. Now, this— when I'm talking about polarization— works whether you're a man or a woman. And whether you're gay, whether you're straight, whether whatever gender you have or whatever sexual preference you have, this works because polarization is what is attractive to people. So you may have a masculine female who is attracted to a, a feminine guy. You may have a feminine guy that's attracted, or you might have the same sex, but they have different traits within them that attracts them to the other person's personality, which carries with it that level of polarization. Now there's this thing that happens in spirituality that I see happen a lot. What may happen in spirituality, and I see it a lot of times with guys, is men go into spirituality, they learn meditation. A lot of people that get to a level of spiritual awakening have been through a lot of pain in the past. And because they've been in a lot of pain in the past, they may have certain shadow aspects of themselves that haven't necessarily been integrated yet. And what they do is they also are people that went through a lot. So it's almost like there's some emotional, there's some emotional baggage that might be there. But what happens is when you go into spiritual awakening, you start to meditate, you start to soften up, you start to just observe your thoughts. And when you start to become aware, you start to learn awareness and you start to realize that everything in reality is fundamentally neutral, that what you believe to be true is reflected back to you. Sometimes what can happen is men lose their masculine edge and they start to become more in the middle. They start to become more of 50% female, 50% male. Or 50% feminine, 50% masculine, and they're more wanting to be in flow. It's more about manifesting and manifesting maybe from the level of thinking about it and putting the emotion into it, but maybe action seems like it's a little bit much. It's not actually necessary. Sometimes when we get in, people get into this masculine and spirituality. They then just observe their thoughts and they become so much more soft. Now this isn't a bad thing, but what I am sharing with you is that many times what'll happen is that softness, if it is a male or masculine energy, can sometimes cause that polarity to go more into the middle, which many times can result in a level of being passive. Passivity. I think that's a word. Is it? Is that a word? Passivity can cause someone to be more passive. So versus somebody developing and having the masculine traits within them of— let me also share this with you. Masculine means single-pointed, focused. Masculine means purpose. Masculine means focused and moving in a certain direction. Feminine is about flow. Feminine is about being, masculine is about doing. Now every one of us will isolate, will go back and forth between these two, but what I see happen a lot is men have a tendency to get into a masculine spirituality where they start to combine the two, thinking that being masculine means not having a backbone. Adhering and being nice to everybody when that niceness is actually normally a mask. Not always. Yes, we're going to get to unconditional love, but this is about understanding, being centered with who we really are, integrating parts of our shadow. Now let me explain to you a piece of this. This is something I've been realizing within myself these last couple months. Me, I, I've, I started to lose my focus of my vision. My, I have such a strong purpose and such a strong mission with what I do. I love taking action. I love making videos. I love doing what I do. It's a part of who I am, but these last couple months my focus has been a little bit more spread out. I'm like, you know what, working hard and it's not necessarily just working hard, but me doing all these things, what if I just stopped focusing on, I just started focusing on this other stuff? Well, as I started to do that, I started to lose my gravity for me being in my masculine presence. And because of that, I started to feel more feminine qualities within me being accentuated. I started realizing that I really started just doing my own shadow work. And this is what I realized. Many people and many people that are going through spirituality especially men or the masculine, develop a nice guy tendency because we're spiritual. It's like we're all connected, which is great. I'm not, I'm not incentivizing that, or I'm not incentivizing that the key is not to be compassionate and realize that we're all connected because we really are. We are all connected, but this is about being aware that We may have shadow aspects from our past that cause us to be a certain way. Now, this is what I realized about myself. I did my own shadow work because I realized that in certain ways in my life, I have not had boundaries. I've had family members come to me that wanted help with, uh, maybe they needed to borrow money or maybe they need to, you know, they needed my help some way. And instead of, instead of teaching people how to fish, what I'd been doing is giving people fish, which, which is something I knew wasn't actually conducive and wasn't actually going to serve these people, you know, these family members and different people. But I'm such, I was being such a nice guy. Okay. I learned about being a nice guy from my dad. My dad is the nicest guy you will ever meet. He works very hard. He's a fire investigator. He works, you know, 24 hours on, 24 hours off. When he's with his kids, he'll do anything for them. He is somebody that, if you know my past, I know I talk about it in a lot of my YouTube videos because I've done over 1,000 videos, and I went through and had, 7 to 15 years old, I had an abusive stepfather. Stepmom in my life. She was like a military sergeant in a way. She was a very angry person. She was very controlling. She was very masculine, to be honest with you. My dad was letting her run the show. He wasn't really in his masculine presence. So the, the role model that I had in my life was somebody that was more of a pushover, wasn't actually standing strong with, this is what I want, this is what is right. Don't treat my kids that way. That didn't happen because there was more of this passive, this passive way of being this nice guy. Now being a nice guy is actually a shadow aspect. Being compassionate is different. Being compassionate and at your core is different than being a nice guy. Being a nice guy is because you want to make everyone else happy because if everyone else is happy, then you become validated. Being a nice guy a lot of times as well is the more I do for you, the more you will love me. And I've seen that play out in many different ways. I've seen my dad try to give so much and in exchange receive that love back. And in a way, I've told my dad, times before. Don't give so much. Have— know that you— he's an amazing dad, he really is, but it's like you're almost overcompensating and you don't need to do that. If you were just to remain firm with, this is who I am, there'd be more respect from many different people and people would listen to you more because what you did, what you would say would have more value, have more weight, would have more gravity, have more boundaries. But what I'm doing is I'm realizing that part of my shadow when it comes to masculinity has been me trying to be some type of nice guy. I realized this last week actually. I went to the gym. No, this is like 2 or 3 days ago. This one even last week, this is 2, 3 days ago. I went to the gym and I just stopped. I realized that I cared. If I greeted someone, said hi to somebody, for example, walking into the gym, hello, said hi to someone, there was like this hi, like I expect you to respond to me in a nice way. I expect you to have just as much enthusiasm and positive energy as me to when you respond to me and then I'll feel good. I'll feel like, oh, the law of attraction, everyone's happy, everyone's this, everyone's that. And what I realized is that was in a way seeking validation. I was being really nice. Hey, how are you? Yeah, amazing. Now this doesn't mean being a dick, but what it does mean is when I went to the gym a couple of days ago, I was like, you know what? I don't care. I don't care whether people say hi to me or not. I'm still going to be myself. But when I went in there, I went in, I was just like, it was like such a non— there was no neediness to it. I don't care if people respond to me in a certain way. Hello. Just walk through. And then I, and people were way more receptive, way more nice. It's crazy how that works, but when you don't need anything, that's when you have attractive energy, whether you're a man or a woman, whether you are feminine or masculine. But the thing that I see happen so often with the divine masculine is we assume that the divine masculine and the divine feminine means being right in the middle, 50% female, 50% male. 50% feminine, 50% masculine. The key is knowing that you, whether you're a man or a woman, you have a core one that you are majority of the time if you're being your authentic self. The key to this, the cure to this is giving yourself permission to say what you really think, to really express how you feel and to not care what people think. There are times that someone will tell me, will ask me something and I'll try to be nice. The key is for me not to be nice. I'm actually a pretty blunt person. This doesn't mean being edgy intentionally, although it may feel like you're doing it intentionally when you first start polarizing yourself back to who you really are. And understand even this who you really are masculine or feminine side, You are actually a spiritual being at your core, but in this physical reality, you've agreed to this duality and to embody either masculine or feminine as a dominant state. And we could say maybe the next evolution is where 50% this, 50% that, and we don't have sexual desire or any of that. What I will say is that I believe what I noticed in myself is I am more myself than I was a couple of weeks ago. Couple of weeks ago I was more scattered. I wasn't really at my own core. I was being the, I was being the cameo in a lot of other people's movies, whether it's my relationship, whether that's family, whether whatever it is. Now I do what I want. Now let's talk about this, how this works with the feminine. There are some feminine or female people that may find themselves having some more masculine traits. A lot of times the masculine traits may come from that of past experiences with your family, with you seeing your mom and dad dynamic. And when you go back to your mom and dad dynamic, you might find that maybe somebody was a little bit more controlling. Maybe the other person felt controlled. The, the, the, um, your mom may have felt controlled by your dad and maybe there was a certain, a certain philosophy that was in a way built into you. Your dad's like, you need to be independent. Nothing wrong with being independent, but that may have also caused you to have a certain type of, of mentality where you weren't really able to relax in your femininity because you got to worry about this. You see polarization, and the cure to that would be you becoming more free, you becoming more in flow, you being able to relax in that way and to do more feminine activities. This is like the masculine, the masculine. You want to be more polarized to who you really are. Doesn't mean that every single, you know, especially in the spiritual community, every single guy is going to go like do jiu-jitsu or play basketball or anything, although that would be one way to tap more into that energy. But what I would recommend to anybody in this situation where they're realizing, I'm right down the middle, I'm like 50% of each, that's the divine masculine, that's the divine feminine. The difference is, as the divine masculine, the divine masculine means it's somebody that cares, but it's not somebody that is is trying to overextend themself, not somebody that's trying to give to then get in return. It's being at your core. If the masculine is at the core, the feminine can then have some gravity to move towards, and the feminine can then relax in her femininity or his femininity, depending on the relationship dynamic. But this whole divine masculine, even masculine in spirituality, the thing that I wanna say is if you feel like you are a nice guy, if you feel like people are walking over you, then the key may be to build some boundaries and to know what you provide just by you being you, to do more of what you want, to get around other masculine guys, because by doing that, the energy osmosis from that will help you to be more in your masculine frame. Maybe play some sports, maybe go to the gym. When you become spiritual, maybe, you know, I know I did. I overextend myself into the whole spirituality where I would just meditate all day, every day, go lay in the sun. It was amazing, but I also lost that polarity. Now I had to then develop and realize that a lot of that wasn't— I was overcompensating in a way because I was so excited about the spirituality stuff I was learning, but the key is integrating the shadows. I became aware maybe part of my shadow is being this nice guy, this nice guy archetype in a way. In a way it's like an archetype. It's in the collective unconscious and there's a lot of guys that right now are being this, this, this archetype of the nice guy, but it's about doing what you really want to do, being yourself. Maybe it feels a little bit, a little bit uncomfortable, unfamiliar at first because you're so used to like, Oh, if I say this, they're gonna judge me in a certain way. But really this is about you giving yourself to be permission at who you are at your core without the masks. Being a nice guy is a mask that keeps you from hurting people's feelings. It's a mask that keeps people thinking of you as a good guy or whatever, but it's still a mask. You being at your core is you being at your core energy of your mission, of your purpose, moving in a certain direction, being the star of your own movie, then you're able to give the feminine the ability to relax in that energy. If you're feminine and you're finding yourself having masculine traits, it's okay. Some females are, are business owners. There's times it's okay for that, but the idea is to relax more in your femininity at the same time and know that it's okay for you to to be in that flow, to be in that creativity, to be the right brain and the— and to have and express yourself in that way. But get to the core of your relationship with your parents because those are the models that many of us use for how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to other people. Look at your own personality. This has changed everything about me. If you look to my prior videos from months ago, the energy that I have in this video was similar to those videos, and I know I have a lot of energy when I do my videos. I'm very passionate about this, but these last couple of months I feel like a lot of my videos were much less of an oomph to them because I wasn't embodying that. Now I'm not saying that we have to be edgy and like go around and like put our hands on our chest and, and be dramatic about this. But what I am saying is start to relax into who you really are in 3D physical reality and understand that polarity is a good thing. Polarity is a good thing. Polarity will increase the attraction from you and the person you're in a relationship with if you are, and if you're not, a polarity will increase your ability to attract someone into your life because you will be polarized in the way that who you really are. Beyond the masks, beyond the persona. So in a way, the divine masculine is a myth the way that we currently think about it. It's not about being 50% this, 50% that. It's about being caring. Some of the traits would be somebody that is caring, somebody that is at their core, somebody that is in a certain direction, single-pointed focus, doing their mission in life. That is a true masculine person. That is the true divine masculine. But a lot of people think in the spiritual community that being masculine means to also be 50% feminine. We all have these energies within us, but it's about us embodying what is authentic to who we really are, and who we really are isn't the shadow aspect of ourselves from our past. Now, same thing as the female. There may be some shadow aspects of the fast— of your past where you said, I have to be this way. A lot of things that's in society now is, you know, being independent, which is great. I'm not saying that we can't be powerful. We're all powerful, but being able to also relax in who we really are beyond the masks. So if you'd like, let me know. I can do a video on the divine feminine from a similar perspective as this. Obviously I have to tap into the feminine energy within me in order to do that video, but let me know. I can do a video on that. You can leave it in the bottom of, uh, leave it in the comment box. What do you think about the divine masculine, divine feminine? Do you see what I mean when I talk about masculinity and spirituality and how a lot of times those things are those things are kind of intertwined with actually being feminine and being right down the middle versus being able to realize and to be able to be at your core of the awareness that yes, we're all connected. Yes, this is a temporary, this is a temporary play that we're in, but we've chosen a certain character. Doesn't mean masculine or female or male or female, but we've chosen a certain, a certain expression. And being in that energy is what actually can help us attract what we want in many different ways, not just relationship, but it makes us more at our core. So let me know what you think in the comment box. Also, if you want to do more shadow work, you want to understand more about shadow work, I'm— and have a webinar that will show you all about this. If you want to join the next webinar, where I show you how to integrate your shadow, go ahead and click on the top of the description box below. I will show you how to let go of your painful past, how to raise your vibrational set point, and I'll show you how to become emotionally free by integrating your shadow. That'll be in the top of the description box below. You can join that there and I'll see you on the inside. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video. Feel free to like this video if you liked it, subscribe if you haven't already, and as always, I'll see you on the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.
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