The ONLY WAY To Heal & Move On From Abandonment Issues...

This video is gonna show you the most powerful way to heal and move on if you have any type of abandonment wound. Now, abandonment wounds keep us single. They keep us attracting people that don't really commit. They keep us in similar patterns that we experienced in childhood. And until we become aware of it and we heal, we can't move on. And in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly step by step what to do and it's gonna be an absolute game changer for how you show up in the world. Now, the first thing to understand about abandonment issues in general, and really any type of inner child wound that we may have had that we are replaying in adulthood, 'cause that's normally what it is, by the way, if we're afraid of someone else abandoning us, it's because there's a fear there that was placed based on something that happened when we were a kid. The way that it works with just reality in general is what we believe to be true is reflected back to us. And if we believe that people always leave, then we will attract people into our lives that always leave. If that maybe even is the familiar emotion that we're used to, then we'll continue to attract people into our life like that. And the thing with that that's interesting is the word familiar and the word familial are the same suffix, the same like root. So things that feel familiar also feel comfortable and familiar because they feel like family. Now the challenge is that until we become aware that we may have had an abandonment issue or abandonment wounds, we continue to attract people into our life that reflect that back. Now, some way this could look is you attract people that maybe leave with no explanation. Maybe they like you for a period of time and then they just, there's like a switch that turns on and then they just stop liking you. Or then you feel like it's re-evoking emotion that says there's something wrong with me, I'm not enough. And it brings through all that same stuff that was probably there in childhood. Another way this could look is that maybe you feel like you have to tune your own center of gravity to others. So it's like, there's almost like a loss of self there where it's like, well, I need to make everyone else happy. So then we abandon ourselves to make other people happy and then they still leave. And it's like, oh look, I'm not good enough. And this is most likely as well when the people pleaser mentality comes. That's something that I had for years that I had to shed. And the people pleaser mentality is born because of the abandonment issue. Most likely either a parent or a guardian physically or emotionally left. And when that happened, there was a meaning that was made that said, there's something wrong with me, I'm not enough. And if I can be a little bit different, then maybe I would be enough. Maybe I would get that validation or approval. So then what happens is people pleasers or nice guys or nice girls, whatever we call that, they go into the world and they literally tune themselves to others to try to make them happy. It's interesting, I also noticed that people that have this people pleaser mentality, they tend to work sometimes in the service industry because they in a way get a payoff from serving other people. Not that there's anything wrong with serving any other people, but I know I worked in women's shoes where I had a commission sales-based job where I had to help people, customer service. And in a way, it was like there was a feeling of worthiness that I got from giving to other people, from serving other people. And I noticed that there were other people I worked with, maybe that's just 'cause at the time, like to attract like. So I'd find other people that also gave, you know, in that way, not giving because it's their job, but giving 'cause they want some emotional payoff from it. But people pleasing is born because of some form and root of abandonment. Now, the interesting thing and the thing that I had to realize is that I was just like 2, 3 years ago, I felt very stuck. I felt like it was very hard for me to set boundaries with people. I had certain powerful friends of mine that I felt like underneath, I felt like I put them on a pedestal and I felt underneath. And I would just kind of like, I almost became a yes man in certain ways where I was just like there to like affirm people's reality and stuff. And then what would happen is I would have trouble saying no to things. I would go to things that necessarily I didn't want to go to, but I felt guilted to go to, or I felt like I had no choice but to go to. At the time as well, I had the nice guy syndrome that my dad had that I like adopted as a survival mechanism. And the nice guy is very similar to the people pleasing, where you tune yourself and you're just very nice because you avoid tension. And avoiding tension means like just being very agreeable. And I was very agreeable, but I just knew it wasn't authentic for me. I knew there was something about it that felt weak. And not only that, I felt like I was like a leaf in the wind going wherever it blew me. And I didn't have a choice as much. And in a moment, and what eventually happened is I started to become aware of the inner child stuff that was going on. I became aware that my dad was a nice guy and he attracted my ex-stepmom who's a narcissist. I was like, huh, that's an interesting dynamic. I became aware of the people-pleasing mentality of like, even when I would go out in public and stuff, like things that would happen where I would feel like my energy would just almost like go project outwards. Like I needed other people's validation approval in order to feel safe. And then I realized that this, I looked at my own childhood and I could clearly see that it was born because of the childhood stuff I went through and feeling abandoned when I was younger. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like there was something wrong with me. So the way that this is born, and once I became aware of this, by the way, it changed my whole entire life. I started to, basically what happened is I started to value things differently. Instead of valuing people's validation and approval, I became aware of that and I saw that I was searching for it on the outside and I was externalizing it instead of giving it to myself. So instead, I changed my values. Instead of valuing that, I started to value authenticity and vulnerability. And I realized that me wanting to change myself to make others happy was a way of me holding in my true emotions. So the answer was vulnerability. Was me being vulnerable, me expressing the real me. So then it was like a whole new world 'cause then I'm like, you know, I'm able to set boundaries and not feel guilty. And I knew that if someone else was angry about that, that was their shit, not mine. Before, my emotion was other people's emotion. It's like as a survival mechanism as a kid, what we do is we tune ourselves to our environment to feel safe. So if mom or dad, there's something going on, it's like, how can I tune to them and how can I make them okay? Are my siblings okay so that I can feel safe? And it's literally internalizing someone else's emotions and taking responsibility for it. And this is why people pleasers tend to be the one in friends of groups where everyone goes to for help. And a lot of times the people pleaser has no problem taking on their challenges too because they get value from it. I got value from helping other people and being that person in the friend group. Now, the way And the thing to realize with this is when you were a kid, there was most likely a couple situations that happened where there was a meaning that was given to certain things that happened in the inner childhood parental dynamic. And the meaning that was given was most likely something along the lines of mom and dad physically or emotionally left and there's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me or I'm broken. Those meanings are shame. They're shame-based. Shame is I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. Now, if we carry around shame, then what we do is we don't want other people to see that shame because shame breeds in the dark. The way to cure or the way to heal shame is to become aware of it and to have the courage and the vulnerability to express it, to share it, to show it. It can be very healing for you to share something with somebody else that you've always held in. Because shame breeds in the dark. When you say it out loud, you then realize there's nothing to be, there's nothing to hide. Everyone has a certain level of shame too. But really what this is with the nice guy, the people pleaser, or the abandonment stuff, it's trying to hide this belief that says there's, I'm broken and there's something wrong with me. And for a long time I had that belief and I walked around, I tried to hide it by being happy for everyone else, by changing my center of gravity to make everyone else happy. But eventually what I had to do is I had to look at this and I could then see clearly a couple different things. One, when my parents divorced when I was 5 years old, as kids, we internalize everything. So even if our parents divorce, we may have not understood that maybe they just didn't get along or maybe that was just their shit, not ours. We thought they broke up because I wasn't enough. I did something wrong. I wasn't worth them sticking together for. "Even though it may have actually been even worse if they stuck together." But we develop these meanings and then we say, "I'm broken, there's something wrong with me." And then we're dating somebody and we think subconsciously, "I'm broken, there's something wrong with me." And then we attract people that reflect that back to us, that don't commit, that don't emotionally or physically choose us. And the reason that is, is because it's reflecting back that level of shame. It's reflecting back that belief that says I'm broken. And once we become aware of this, the power is in choosing vulnerability. It's in choosing to open up your heart. I then made a choice about myself. I'm no longer gonna, I'm no longer going to live by the compass of, validation and approval. I'm gonna become aware of this pattern in myself and I'm gonna start living by vulnerability and authenticity, which meant that me showing up in the world being vulnerable and authentic meant I expressed my real emotion. It meant I was also very authentic with what I thought and felt. If normally something would come up and I'd say, oh, it's okay, and it wasn't okay for me, I'd be like, you know what, that was kind of messed up. I don't agree to that. I would set boundaries with people. All of a sudden it was a whole new world. But the way that you heal and move on from abandonment issues simply has to do with becoming aware of the shame, of the beliefs, of the childhood meaning. Everything has no built-in meaning other than the meaning we give it. We've given meaning to childhood experiences that have been on autopilot. And maybe that meaning was, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me, the parents divorced, they leave me, Men or women leave me. Men or women don't commit to me because my parents didn't commit to me. I was just kind of in the background. These are all childhood stories that may still be on autopilot. And the key to healing the abandonment wound is to realize that most people that feel abandoned, what they do is they try to make everybody else happy. They tune themselves to everyone else to get validation, approval, or to get them to feel okay. And in the process, they abandon themselves. They abandon themselves to make everyone else happy. So what's the cure to the abandonment issues? Is to realize a couple things. One, your parents emotionally leaving or physically leaving when you were a kid had nothing to do with you. It wasn't because you weren't worthy. It wasn't because you weren't enough. It wasn't because you didn't glue them all together when they were going through divorce. It wasn't because you weren't the best kid that you could have been. It's literally their stuff they had to deal with. And normally this stuff also travels in family lineages. It's generational stuff. It was their stuff, not yours. You don't have to internalize it. And as you start to realize that, you stop developing this identity-level belief that says there's something wrong with me. That's the first step to this process. The second step is making a choice to be vulnerable, making a choice to be guided by the values of instead of validation and approval and of easing tension with people, focus on authenticity and vulnerability because shame grows in the dark. You shine light on it with vulnerability by expressing the real you, even though it might take courage sometimes, you will notice that it comes out more and more. And the more you do that, the more empowered you actually feel. So this is one of the most powerful things you can do to completely transform your life from the inside out. Because remember, your beliefs are being projected out and reflected back. So if you believe you're broken or something wrong with you, you'll attract people that feel that way about you. But if you start to honor yourself, if you start to realize your own sense of self-worth, that's what changed everything for me. Was when I started to realize that I was worthy for just being me. And the more I started being and recognizing that worthiness within myself, the more that I would attract people that reflected that new level about me, that new level of worthiness about me. It's all the reflection, that's it. Now, something I'm doing is if you wanna ask me your relationship questions, these type of energetic questions, text me at 424-304-0104 your questions. I'll be putting them in YouTube videos, answering them. And I send out 1 to 3 times a week, I'll send out a high vibe message of the week, the books I'm currently reading and stuff like that. So that's if you're in the US or Canada. And also if you want to understand why and what happens when you let go energetically, this is one of my most popular new videos. What happens when you let go energetically? It's one of my most popular videos and also most powerful videos. Check this video out right here.