The Science Behind Letting Go (Less Control = Magnetic)

Let me tell you about a story about Jim Carrey before he was famous, before he was the actor, the comedian, the celebrity that we all know. He was in 1990 broke, had no money, was living in his car and feeling like he was just trying to make ends meet. Well, he ended up doing something that completely changed the trajectory of his life. What he did, is he took that of a check. He wrote the check for Thanksgiving in 1995. And what he did is it was a check written to him for $10 million for services rendered. What he did is he took this check, he folded it up, he put it in his wallet, and then he immersed himself in his craft. He would audition on different shows. He was in a show called In Living Color. He would audition for different movies, and then eventually he was in movies such as Dumb and Dumber, was in movies such as Ace Ventura. You fast forward to 1995, and what he realized was he looked around and realized that he had made more than $10 million from services rendered from the movies that he was in. Now I want to point out something very powerful about this because One of the main core elements of this is one thing that he had to do was he had the vision, he had the intention, he had the clarity, but also he completely let go. He immersed himself in his craft. He was not overanalyzing and trying to figure out how to make it happen. He was not putting one audition on such a big pedestal that if it didn't happen, His dreams were crushed. He immersed himself in the process. He let go of outcome. And as a result, he was in an energy that drew to him more synchronicities and more opportunities that were reflective of that expansive state of consciousness. Now, I share this story with you because many times I believe what happens with people is they have an intention, they have something they want to experience. Maybe they're living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe they're coming up with subconscious blocks, but very often what happens is people are then focused on the attachment of the end result and not the process. So in this video, I wanna share you the science of attachment. I wanna show you the psychological side of it, the neurological side of it, and how you can begin to more so shift into a new state of consciousness where you're not clinging to attachment or to trying to control outcomes, but instead, Instead, you're in an energy state that's very expansive where things just tend to happen. Now, even if I look at my own journey of being on YouTube since 2017, when I first got on YouTube, there was such an excitement there because I was like, I just wanna make videos, I wanna add value to people. There was an obsession with the process. And then what happens is as things grew, as things grew from, 0 to 50,000 subscribers to then 100,000+ subscribers, eventually there was this shift that happened to where what was just a means of itself, like it wasn't about the end result, it was about the process. At a certain point, there's like a looking around and there's like, oh my gosh, there's 500,000 people here. I have to put pressure on myself to perform. I have to put my pressure on myself to have videos do just as well as they used to do. In that moment, it took it out from being about the process and it put it about the end result. It created more attachment and resistance. And what's interesting is the best my YouTube channel ever does is when I'm most unattached to outcome. It's when I let go. It's when I'm having fun. It's when I'm creating content that I'm actually passionate about. So it's a funny thing because the more attached you are to outcome, the more resistance you create. Even think about it when it comes to also attracting love. How many times do you hear people that say, well, I was desiring love, I was focused on love, I was doing the vision board, I was saying affirmations, I was looking for them everywhere I went. I looked, I looked, I looked, I looked, and then I found it. I found it. It happened. Very often that's not the case that you hear. When it comes to the breakthrough, it's people say, you wanna know when it happened? I met my wife or husband. It happened when I completely let go. I completely let go of outcome. I actually had a rule that I'm going to be single for this period of my life. And then guess what happened? This person popped up. They let go of resistance and then it happened. They stopped focused on the outcome and then it happened. So many times breakthroughs come around letting go and attachment only creates more resistance. It creates more cortisol and it creates more stress. So let's look at the science of attachment. Now, when we think of the brain, the neurological side of it, the neuroscience side of it even, we have this anticipatory hormone or neurotransmitter that has to do with anticipation. What we think of as dopamine, the anticipation hormone that where we are anticipating something happening. There could be like an anticipation of a reward, of an outcome. But what happens is, what happens is if that outcome doesn't happen, or it's not going according to plan, there's then an increase in cortisol. Cortisol is stress hormone. Well, guess what happens when people get caught up in a loop of wanting, desiring, anticipating, and then also high cortisol because it's not happening the way that they want? They stay trapped in this cycle of resistance, of stress. And what very often scientifically you can show is that when people are very attached to outcome, their stress and cortisol goes up, their cognitive function declines. They end up stressing themselves out. They end up overanalyzing. And what ends up happening is things don't go according to plan because there's an increase in stress. There's an increase literally in attachment. And very often what happens with people is where people get stuck with attachment is the story they have to the thing they're attached to is what they're actually attached to. So if you think about it, everything in reality is fundamentally neutral. We give things meaning. And when people say this thing is hard to let go of, what they mean is the meaning I give to this thing is hard to let go of. It's not the actual thing, it's the story about the thing. So when someone has trouble letting go of an ex, for example, it's not just the person of the ex that's hard to let go of, it's the story and the associations about that ex that makes it hard. But if you were to look at that story and realize that that story many times is a projection from childhood, it's a projection from an unresolved energy from the past, You can realize that that person's not as special as you think. They're reflecting back an aspect of yourself that might be not healed. So what ends up happening is that then the story about that thing also gets on a pedestal. This person was the person I needed to turn around. This person was the one. There's no one else like this person. And maybe that's a good thing. Not to say that that person is evil or anything, but maybe that pattern served its purpose and maybe it's time to let it go so that you can move on. Because understand, very often what we do is we subconsciously attract people into our life to replay back the familiar dynamics from childhood. And why? Because there's a part of us that wants to heal. There's a part of us that wants to let go. There's a part of us that's trying to turn this person into coming on board or whatever it is. But understand that what a lot of times people, when it comes to attachment and the science behind attachment in general, it may feel familiar to be attached. It may feel familiar to be in fight or flight response where it's like hyper attuned to the environment to see, is things going according to how I think they should go? Because attachment has become a means of control. At the fundamental core, if you could let go, it would mean surrendering to the divine. It would mean surrendering to the unknown. But if you can have your attachment, or at least believe you're gonna get your attachment, then you can believe you're getting certainty. So in an interesting way, people that struggle to let go are people that very much often value certainty at the top of the list. They wanna feel in control. They wanna feel certainty. Why? Because earlier in life, that certainty may have not been there. The unknown may have been there, and then something happened and it said, "I don't want that. I would rather have this attachment thing over here, control and obsess over this thing. And if I could get this thing to happen, then I could feel safe." So in an interesting way, what happens is this attachment becomes a means by which to feel safe. And this is the psychological side of it. Now the lesson may be to learn to let go and to let the divine allow things to happen, to allow the divine to bring things to you in ways beyond what you could even imagine. Because if you were to imagine Jim Carrey going about being on the show Living Color, being in other things before he was in Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, mask, what you would find is that if every, he was just constantly in his head and trying to force things to happen and trying to control the outcome of things and going on auditions and this has to turn out really well so that I can get the part so that I can get the $10 million check that I wrote to myself that's in my wallet right now. And he was looking, looking, looking and he was attached to outcome, guess what? It would literally block and create resistance and create more cortisol, which would literally block those things from coming into his life. So one of the key concepts here is that when you let go of outcome, you're also letting go of the belief and the certainty that you know what's best. How do you know what's best? Why do you believe that you know better than God or the universe what is right for you? And what if by you holding on or clinging to something from the past, yes, It's certain, but what if what you think of as certain is actually a form of toxic energy? What if it's a way to guarantee that your needs will not be met? Think about that. It may be familiar to not have your needs met. There may be an attachment to not having your needs met. So what you do is because it's familiar and it's what you know, you look for people subconsciously to reflect that back to you. And then you find them, and then you try to turn them into people that understand you and see you, and it's this long project for you to do. And guess what ends up happening? You end up at the end feeling drained, depleted, and like your needs aren't met. But guess what? It's familiar. It's certainty. And here I am right now just trying to shake you. Come on. Come on, it's time to shake that out of you. Let it go. What if in the unknown— yes, it's unknown, so it's a little bit scary— but what if in the unknown is where all magic happens? You embracing the unknown is where you're going to find emotionally available people. It's where you're going to find new job opportunities, new things you're passionate about. But you have to have the courage to step into it. And when you step into it, it's not about just writing it on a check and putting it in your wallet. You have to also immerse yourself in the process, fall in love with the process. What's funny is I say this and then what some people will do is they're gonna go, okay, Aaron, I'm gonna fall in love with the process because if I fall in love with the process, I'm gonna get the result. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. Or do it. Do it. Because it's going to get you the result. No, you'll learn. Once you. It's kind of like having this covert intention. It's like, over here, I'm going to. I'm focused on the outcome, Aaron. I'm doing it. I'm going to. I had a friend that said this. I was like, when does it happen? When do people attract love? When they stop looking. And then in her mind, I knew what she was thinking. She said, "Okay, I'm gonna stop looking. I'm gonna be single now for the next year. I have a rule that now I'm going to be single. And even if a relationship comes into my life, nope, nope, nope, I'm not gonna look at it. I'm not even gonna entertain it." But saying that, so then as she's going around, she's like, "Hmm?" Looking around, I'm single, as some game to where then it's like, okay, energetically I still want it to happen, but if that's the case, there's still an attachment. And how do you let go of an attachment? Well, you're literally letting go of a form of addiction from the mind, dopamine. How do you let go of a dopamine addiction? You have to let go of all these stimulating things and start to observe, start to observe your patterns, start to observe what you're doing that's causing the dopamine to flush. And what you end up doing then is you end up becoming aware of what the triggers are. You become aware of what the patterns are. And then you could say, okay, I'm gonna stop watching this show all the time. I'm gonna stop scrolling in my phone nonstop. Comparing myself to other people. I'm gonna stop going to the club looking for love, if that's your thing. But what you do is you start putting the energy back into you. You in a way go through a little period where you might feel a little bit like there's less stimulation, but what you eventually do is you start to value things deeper. Like if you fall in love with the process, you enjoy the process. And when you enjoy the process, you become aware of new synchronicities and new opportunities that reflect back to you the energy energy state you're in. This is one of the reasons I love running live events, getting into the unknown at live events and coaching people on stage. And when I do that, I get into a massive flow state. There's literally like, the less preparation I do, the better almost, because I begin to trust more and then inner energy flows through, information flows through. I don't even know where a lot of the ideas come from. Because there's nothing I need to control. It's not me that is doing it. Yes, I guess I'm speaking and there's stories I'm pulling from my past, but it's like an energy flow. And this is the thing with attachment. Attachment is from the ego's desire to control. When you let go, you're allowing energy to flow. You're more in the moment. You're not overthinking. You're not trying to figure things out. You're enjoying the process. So there's process consciousness and there's end result consciousness. And end result consciousness is what most people are indoctrinated in because it's about the result. If I get the result, I can feel safe. If I get the result, I can feel love. If I get the result, I can feel significant. If I get the result, but the result is a means to an end. Instead of letting it be an end of itself, of falling in love with who you become. Now, one thing I'll be doing, by the way, is a live event in Miami. I'm in beautiful Miami right now. And there is that February 22nd, 23rd, a 2-day live event I'm doing where I bring people up and do live coaching, helping you to remove the subconscious blocks that's keeping you in the familiar. Really, the major focus is on letting go surrendering to the divine, letting go of the attachments, the stored energy in the body. We're going to be doing breathwork. It is, if you do want to join, there's early bird tickets for both in-person and virtual. It will be livestreamed and you can join from anywhere in the world. There'll be a Zoom livestream and there'll be replays if you can't make it live. So if you want to join, it is February 26th. I found an awesome, amazing venue center here in Miami. and I can't wait to do that. So if you do wanna join, now's the time to join to get your early bird ticket. You're gonna click the link below, join the Miami live event, February 22nd and 23rd. Now understand that with letting go in general, the major processes for letting go, also for really priming your energetic field and shifting your energetic field, is also learning that a lot of trauma gets stored in the body. There's almost an attachment to trauma subconsciously because it feels familiar. Now understand that trauma is not a life sentence. Trauma is a biological process where what happened is in the past there was energy inside of the body. Something happened, energy got sparked inside the body, and then it never completely completed and processed. So what happens is that energy is still trapped inside the body. And what happens is people carry it with them and it becomes in a way, a way of getting the needs met. The trauma is in a way they're trying to protect from harms in reality, from scary things in reality. And then people carry it with them subconsciously and it literally blocks more love, more abundance from coming into their life. But remember, it's not a life sentence. It's a biological response and it's something that wants to be felt and let go of. And this is the process of letting go. Literally somatic practices of feeling inside of your body, bringing the energy inside of your heart, bringing the energy inside of wherever, whatever you're feeling in your body, and then letting it be there, accepting that energy is a very powerful way to bring the consciousness back into your body. There's the book "Waking the Tiger" from Peter Levine talks about this. It's something we do at the live events as well, is really bringing the awareness inside of our body, realizing that in a way your body is your subconscious mind. Resistance and stress held inside the body can create illness and create resistance. When you learn how to let go, there is a relieving energy that flows through your body. You're letting go of tension. You're letting it be okay that it's there. Imagine if around trauma, it's like, I don't wanna feel trauma. I don't want the trauma in my body. I don't want that in my body. There's resistance and attachment. But imagine if you let it be there and you got present with it, you then allow itself to complete its pattern. That's why many times healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. Simply being allowed in a safe space to feel what you feel, and even more powerful to have someone witnessing it in you in a non-judgmental way. Very powerful way to heal. And it's all about letting go, letting yourself feel, accepting it, letting it go. It's a very simple process that you can apply in your life. Now I will be doing something coming up very soon as well. It is on the 31st, the 1st, and the 2nd. It is a free 3-day Raise Your Vibration Challenge. I'll be doing live hot seat coaching. I'll be doing that of live meditations, even breathwork, a mini version of breathwork on day 2. If you do want to join, I'm going to go ahead and link it below. You can join the High Vibe Shift Challenge. It's going to be awesome. And then other than that, if you want a playlist that I have on letting go that you could simply put on in the background and that will allow you to more so wire in these concepts, here's my most powerful letting go videos right here.