the secret to attracting love and having irresistible energy: cleaning your energy field

Let's talk about the subconscious parts of your energy that you might not be aware of and the hidden effects of when you talk to other people, when you engage with other people, how that influences your subconscious mind and how that holds certain energy patterns in place. So let's start here. When you vent or complain to other people, One thing that happens is when other people are receiving the vent or the thing that you may be complaining about, they are then holding a negative image of your problems in their mind. So what happens is the next time you see them, they may remember the problems that you have, whether it's subconscious or conscious. And even when you're not seeing them, they may have that image in their mind of you, holding you in a pattern of that. Now, of course, you're not a leaf in the wind and like submissive to that pattern to where it has to affect you completely, but because we're all connected into a collective consciousness and we have a field of energy around our body, What happens is that field of energy around our body is influenced by our own energy first and foremost, but secondly, the thoughts and the energy of the people around us, especially if we internalize what people say or think, but then also on that, other people's images, projections, expectations, et cetera, can affect our energy if we let it, especially. Had an interesting conversation with some friends yesterday about this, and it completely sparked a whole new kind of idea around the thing that I share on Instagram a lot that goes, it's gone viral in a couple different videos and like Shorts where I talk about how when you think of people, you are sending them energy. And what happens is when you're sending energy, is dissipating your own. Many times it's also with an attachment of expectation or control, wanting something from them. But what you end up doing is in that process, you end up dissipating yourself, wanting something from them, and it creates a lot of resistance. And when you pull the energy back, that's when you start to be more in your own power again. So it's really about bringing the energy back to you. But this new, this idea around like, this is why also when you think about your energy field, the people you surround yourself with the most has a very powerful effect on your field. So much so that when you read personal development books, many of them will say that one of the biggest hacks to becoming successful in any area is to meet people and be around people that are already in the energy you want to embody. So if you want to own a successful business and you are around friends that own successful businesses, that will have a very powerful effect on you. If you want to know what it's like to be in a successful relationship, even to have friends that are couples that have successful relationships will have an effect on you, the way you see yourself. What is possible. If you hang around a whole bunch of people maybe that are even bitter and angry about being single, that will also have an effect. I remember reading that in the book Letting Go, I believe. In the book Letting Go, it talks about how there was this one woman that went through a divorce and then she joined a women's group that were a whole bunch of divorced women that were bitter about being divorced. And probably had resentments towards men. And in that group, it's like she felt blocked. That energy, the energy field of that group and of those people probably was negatively affecting her field and making her have more negative effects towards masculine or the men and probably kept her in a resentful energy. And she was not attracting love. She felt blocked. What she ended up doing is she ended up letting go of that and she ended up being around people that had positive views of relationships, what do you think happened? She ended up attracting love. Within like a couple years, she attracted love and she switched that energy. So think about that. The people you surround yourself with has a very powerful effect of your energy. And a hack is you can get around people in your life that already are in the energy you want to be in, and you will literally absorb the benefit of those beliefs, those expectations, et cetera. Nina says, can someone hold you in an energetic pattern? Absolutely, people can. Now here's the thing, once you become conscious, you can take your power back, your energy back, but people absolutely can have an expectation or an image of you. And if you're submissive to that or just in the autopilot, you can absolutely fall into that. So wait, I have another thread I was gonna share with that. So when it comes to, okay, so if you're around people and you're venting to them, they then can have a, like literally a subconscious negative image of you and your problems. It does and can have an effect on holding that energy within yourself. And next time they see you, they may expect you to elaborate on that or to, to be in that energy. And one of the things that you realize too is if you're around people that are negative, also a negative thought, like if you think of your energy field and you think of like a thought form, and when you meditate, by the way, you observe thoughts, you allow the ability to clean your energetic field. You can then choose and observe the the thoughts that are coming around you. You can observe and not get attached and keep it active in your field. So if you're around someone that's negative or that doesn't, if you have like a certain, especially if you were to like start a business and you're really excited about it, but you don't feel confident in it yet and you share it with someone who doesn't agree, that can be a dangerous time in the sense that if you agree with it or believe it, you may then just like let that belief grow, that negative belief, or just stop altogether. So this is why it's very powerful to be aware of what you internalize. I was coaching someone the other day and he was telling me that he was working on healing between him and his dad. And he was explaining to me that his dad is like real old school, old school mentality, old school beliefs. And he wanted to have a vulnerable conversation with his dad who kind of like doesn't really have time for him and kind of didn't wanna get on the phone with him. And he talks to his dad like once a year. So he was kind of in this energy where he was feeling kind of resentful and he gets on the phone with his dad and he realized that his story with his dad was that his dad always tells him, like he wants his dad to be proud of him. And he's like this guy that's been, he's this guy that's been growing this YouTube channel. He's had amazing growth with his YouTube channel. And what he realized was even though his dad is old school and everything, his dad always would have this story that's like, you don't know anything because you don't have experience. And what he did is he beat himself up and think, I don't have experience, or he would feel like he was always trying to prove himself to his dad. And one of the things I was helping him work with is first off realizing to not have experience in something can actually be a great benefit because you are extremely free of patterns of people that have maybe had experience and old school mentalities. One of the examples I gave to this is I talked about how I have a financial advisor that I work with, and I worked with him for years, and he does a very good job of very specific things. He's an old-school financial advisor that does like index funds and stocks and stuff, and for years he's been telling me, don't get into crypto, don't get into crypto. Since like 2020, he's been like, it's, it's a bubble, it's a bubble, it's a bubble. And even though he says that every time I talk to him, he mentions it. I respect him in his, in what he, what he does. And he does a certain aspect of things for me that he has a lot of experience in that I trust him with. At the same time, I chose not to believe that. And I chose not to buy into that because I chose to believe in what I, what I thought. And that worked out very well for me. So my lack of experience actually opened me up to an opportunity that I may not have had if I knew everything about the market, even though there was this thing that I believed in. And my— this, this guy that I was coaching, same thing. He invested years ago in, in crypto, and he's literally living off of that. But his dad's like, you don't have experience. And I'm thinking, that lack of experience for you has served you well to where now you're— you have a YouTube channel, you're doing what you love, and you can because you made a good decision years ago. But if you beat yourself up and just keep saying, I have no experience, I have no experience, I have no experience, and you let that be important, it'll have an effect on you. And the interesting thing is too, is it's even more challenging with our parents because our parents are our authority figures growing up. We want our parents to be happy. We want them to approve of us. We want them to be proud. So what can happen is we outsource and are looking for them to be proud, et cetera. And then we're like, okay, my dad says don't like experience this, I need to change. When we can question that and say, is this what I want? And we can choose from a level of awareness instead of surrendering to someone else's frame. So that was a big insight for him in realizing that he could choose whether he internalizes that or not. And even whether that thing is a bad thing or not, that lack of experience can be very powerful because you're more free. So when we're talking about energy, and here's the other thing he realized, he realized that people do this in, um, I've done this before, even on YouTube. If there's things that felt unresolved as a kid, we may project that onto different areas of our life. So for example, for a long time, the sense of value, if I didn't feel worthy in my life for just being me, I may, I'm going to prove my worth by helping lots of people on YouTube, by having and making and adding lots of value. And a part of me is like tied to that, which means, If that somehow goes, if that somehow is like, if I'm not taking lots of action and doing, doing, doing, then I'm not worthy. And what this guy I was coaching realized is that he was projecting and wanting subscribers to be proud of him. He was wanting to prove himself to his YouTube channel because the unresolved stuff from dad was then getting projected to another area of his life. So what happens is power comes when we begin to own the power inside of ourselves and we become aware of the energy inside of our field. And this is why one of the most powerful things you can do to clean your energy field is to become aware of the thoughts you're thinking, the emotions you have, and realize you think thoughts, you have emotions, but you're not your thoughts or your emotions. And all because a thought comes into your mind doesn't mean you have to attach to it and try to control it. So when you're around other people and realize you have an energy field around you, and you can imagine there's certain thought forms, there's certain momentum of energy around certain areas of your life. So if you're thinking positive thoughts, integrative thoughts, compassionate thoughts, that will fuel your energy field. If you think discordant thoughts, if you beat yourself up and you surround yourself with toxic people, guess what? It's going to affect your energy field. And that energy field is then going to go out into the world and find other things, other scenarios to play out that reflect back what's in the field. So your energy field powerfully affects the reality that you experience and the people you attract into your life. This is why it is so important to become aware of who you surround yourself with, observing your thoughts rather than reacting or trying to control, and becoming aware of also a connection to something larger than yourself. I'm a big fan of the book "Autobiography of a Yogi." by Paramahansa Yogananda, and a lot of what he talks about, you know, he grew up in the early 1900s around other enlightened gurus and people, and a guru, by the way, is a master of himself or herself. A guru knows themselves. They know that they are one with God, and because they embody that energy, other people have a tendency to worship it. But they are a reflection of a certain level of consciousness and the divine love state that we can then tune ourselves to, to embody more of. Paramahansa Yogananda would talk a lot about focusing on your connection to something greater than you, to something divine, to God. What do you think happens in your energy field when you're focused on God or the divine? What do you think happens when you surrender to something greater than you and you're not attached? What do you think happens to your energy field? When you're attached, that's where things get stuck. When you internalize what's happening or something, somebody says something, you start to believe it, that's where we start to create resistance because it then stays in our energy field. So when you think of attachment and letting go, which Buddha said, there's a quote, desire and attachment is the root of all suffering because we're trying to control outcome. We're holding onto things because they feel like the known, or if we hold onto them, we'll get what we want. But true freedom is when you need nothing. When you need no thing, all things become available. When you're good either way, you reduce resistance, you let go of importance, you could then be free. And one powerful thing, it comes when we talk about energy field and tuning to what you want and finding other people that already have the energy state that you want. Is realizing that that thing you want, you will feel a certain emotion from, but you can feel the emotions now. You can focus on your field. You can, what if you questioned why you even want what you want? Because it's funny, we're like, once I have this thing, then I'll be happy. Once this part of my life is figured out, then I'll be happy. What if you questioned that belief? And instead of trying to get that, instead of trying to control reality, what if instead you focused on being present, enjoying the moment, connecting what's around you? And what's funny is from that energy state of alignment, you then attract positive synchronicity, You attract more love. You attract more of that, of what's reflective of your energy. So if you have questions about this, can you post or put them in the Q&A box that you see here and ask questions? And I'm going to go ahead and answer now. I just wanted to go on a rant about this. 'cause it's been such an epiphany for me, knowing and realizing you and your energy, the people you surround yourself with, the people that you're intimate with, the people that you, the places you go even, it all has an effect on your energy. And like I said, you're not a leaf in the wind just walking around where it's like, oh, I gotta be worried about all these things, I gotta protect myself. It is awareness though when you realize that certain people There's a certain energy there. If you be more mindful of it, it can completely change your life. When I got on YouTube and started making videos consistently, I started to surround myself with other YouTubers. And guess what? That had a positive effect. I started getting on the phone and talking to other YouTube. I started to put myself out there. And from learning what other people were doing, we were sharing ideas with each other. Than certain books. I remember when I first got on YouTube, somebody told me that was a YouTuber that was making $20,000 a month and he had less subscribers than me. And he told me to get this book and to read this book on like how to like basically do, how to do like how to make money online, internet marketing and stuff like that. I read this book and guess what? Changed my life. If I didn't have that conversation and I didn't expand and surround myself with other people that were in that energy, I may have not got that one little idea, that one thought form that went in my field that then I committed to. I read the book and then the thought forms, the book that represented certain thought forms and patterns then became inside my field of energy. And then guess what? My outer reality shifted. This is also the power of books. The books that you read and pay attention to can shift your energy and your energy field. That book was DotCom Secrets by Russell Brunson, who owns the company ClickFunnels. Old school book. I mean, it's probably still relevant, but obviously the landscape has changed a lot for whatchamacallit, for online, but how do you stop? So how do you stop overgiving to validate your worth? How do you stop overgiving to validate your worth? Well, first off, in the question itself, if you're asking how to stop overgiving to validate your worth, it is insinuating that giving is directly connected to worth. I am worthy if I give. If I do not give, I am not worthy. Now let me ask you this: when you overgive, what do you get from that? Do you get to be a good person? Do you get to alleviate someone else's tension? Do you believe you're gonna get them to like you? What do you get? If you overgive, you will attract people who overtake. And the challenge is that as a kid, if you didn't feel worthy, whole, and complete, guess what? You may think you have to do something to be worthy, whole, and complete. To get mom and dad's approval or validation, I must overgive. And one of the most important aspects and things to realize about overgiving is that overgiving, if it's tied to expectation, it's a mode of control. So really you're asking a question that has to do with control. And this is hard to look at when you think of, because behind overgiving is this blanket energy where it's like, no, I'm not trying to control reality. I am overgiving because I am a good person. And even though you could become aware that to give without expectation attachment is a very powerful thing, but there's an attachment here. You are giving to get validation. So it's a mode, it's a mechanism you're using to control reality. This is hard to look at, but when you look at it, you can start to become free. Because what if you questioned that belief? What if you questioned that desire to get someone else's validation, to control someone else? What if you let someone else like you or not like you? What if you were good either way? What if you validated the inner child part of you that believes you have to overgive to feel validated? What do we many times do with our inner child energy if we're ashamed of it, we don't like it, we try to get rid of it, get rid of the overgiving child that's on the inside that's trying to prove himself or herself to mom and dad. What if you paid attention to that part of you? You see, so if you want to stop overgiving to validate your worth, the most powerful thing for you to do is to become aware of why you you are overgiving and what your motivation is. And if you're honest with yourself, you might realize that overgiving is a control mechanism you're using subconsciously to get validation and approval from other people. So it's a mechanism of control. But most people that overgive have an identity that says, I'm a good person, I overgive, I'm a martyr, I fix every one of my friends and family, I hold space for everybody else, but no one holds space for me because I'm not worthy to have space being held for. It's a part of my identity. Part of it is you have an identity that you are an over-giver and you have a story connected to that. But also I say, just shake the story, let it go. And you say, well, this is a mechanism I use to control reality. This is a mechanism I use to get people to like me. This is a mechanism I use to not be bad like the villain from, if there was a villain in your childhood or something, a perpetrator in a codependency triangle, perpetrator, victim, rescuer. You might also be a rescuer in the codependency triangle, fixing other people, saving other people. I am good. So those are powerful ways to stop overgiving. First off, realize that you're doing it, powerful step. Realize you're doing it to control reality because if you overgive, you can then be worthy. You can then control other people and get them to like you. You can tap into that inner child part of yourself that feels not worthy, that they have to overgive to be worthy, and you can begin to validate that part of you's emotions and how they feel. And then you can realize and question, is it even actually true that if you overgive, people like you? Actually, a lot of times, the more you overgive, the more people feel like something's up with you. The more people a lot of times may not even respect you. Imagine someone's like, you can have this and you can have this and you could do this. I'll do this for you. Do you want me to do this? You're like, what's going on? Like there's a catch here. And this is the difference between being nice and being kind. Very different energies. Anytime you hear someone say, oh, that person's nice. Yeah, they're nice. Their voice inflection goes up. They're so nice. It's like there's something off with them, but they're nice, so I don't know. You wanna surround yourself and aspire to be kind. Kind is without attachment. It's without control. Many times, nice people, nice guys, or people pleasers, they're being nice or they're overgiving as a mechanism of control. Because if I overgive or am nice and I ease the tension, "You will then be happy, no tension, and you'll like me." But guess what? That is a form of control. And what people don't like and people can feel is when someone else has an agenda. When you are good either way and you have no agenda, you are the most magnetic. You are more magnetic the less agenda you have. You could say the degree to which you have no agenda is the degree to which you are attractive. The degree to which you have an agenda is the degree to which you repel people. When you have an agenda or an expectation or you want people to like you or you're overgiving to get validation, it's a mechanism of control that pushes away people actually resonating with you because you're not being the real you. You're being an act. You're being someone, you're being who everyone else wants you to be. Look at me, be perfect. It's an act. What if this whole live call I was talking like this and I was performing for you and I said profound quotes and then I'm like, I need to give you more. How can I give you more? What else do you guys want? Do I look perfect today? How do I look? I will sound very eloquent. Is this attractive? But if I have no agenda, I mean, in a way, I guess my agenda is to come on here to connect with you all, to have fun. That's a more present energy, right? But if there's an intention there and an agenda, you will feel it. Overgiving people are the loneliest. Many times, and part of the reasons they're lonely is because they're not being present with their true selves. They're in an act as a control mechanism to get their needs met. They're literally ignoring the inner child part of themselves that feels lonely, that's trying to do everything to get validation or approval. Be present with that part of you and watch how much you begin to feel more connected to yourself. And what if this, what if it's okay to feel lonely? A lot of times people are like, they might ask like, I feel lonely, how do I change? And the funny thing is, is when you accept certain emotions, you can allow them to process. And if you're good either way, whether you feel lonely or not lonely, you can then allow that energy to dissipate out of your field versus being attached to it. Because remember this whole call, we're talking about energy and energy field. And if there's certain emotions that are in your field and you're like, I don't wanna feel this way, I don't wanna feel this way. How do I not feel lonely and feel this? How do I not feel this and feel this? Resistance, resistance, resistance. Let yourself feel the loneliness, let it be there. And you might find that then the loneliness is okay either way. You're not trying to control it. It then can process. And then you might find that when you let that emotion be there and you just feel it, that you then find and realize you're being with the part of yourself that you've been ignoring. Think about it, like the lonely, think about this, the lonely emotion that you feel, imagine it as a noun. It's in your field and it wants to be felt. And you're looking at it and you're like, I'm not wanna feel you lonely, I don't wanna feel you lonely, I don't wanna feel you lonely, I just wanna feel love and connected, I just wanna feel love and connected, I just wanna feel love and connected, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore. That part of you still feels lonely and you're just not allowing it to be. Remember, healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. So if you start to let it be okay that the lonely is there and you start to feel it and you start to be with it, you may find that then you begin to integrate and close the loop of that energy. And then you might find that there's other things that can— there's other emotions that can come in. When I first learned meditation in 2012, this changed my life when I learned to observe my thoughts instead of try to control them, to embrace the emotions that come up, let them be there instead of trying to control. So this whole live, what we've been talking about basically is how to shift your energy field and to be aware that the energy field you're in is based on the attention you have, the intention you have, and even some of the unprocessed energy from childhood. And when you begin to let that energy come to the surface, you can then become aware of it. You can also address it with the inner child or the aspect of you that may still have unprocessed energy. But a very powerful thing to do is to become aware of why your patterns are there, how they're trying to control reality, and then beginning to control and infuse into your field more love, more of God, the divine. And when I read a book like Autobiography of a Yogi, there is an energy of the dedication that Paramahansa Yogananda had to God and the divine is so inspiring that when we begin to meditate on this energy, on this connection, it will have an effect on your field. So he was a symbol for a level of consciousness and focus of someone that I believe had a very clean energy field. Does that make sense? So this is why it's important to become aware of your field. Who are you hooking up with? Who are you hanging out with a lot? Who are you surrounding yourself with? Because the people that you interact with the most, it's affecting your field, which then affects your life. And when you're around negative people, people that complain, and when you're complaining to other people, think about it, you're subconsciously infusing their subconscious with the negative, and even consciously with a negative image of you. If you, I was talking about this with some friends yesterday, when it comes to relationship. And what we were talking about is how it's very art. I have some friends that have been in a relationship for like 9 years and they have a very solid, like inspiring relationship. And one thing they said they do is that they don't talk about their relationship issues with other people. They work it out with themselves, which I was like, that's a, I was thinking that's a great, that's a great, That's a great model to live by because then you work it out and get stronger together instead of venting to other people and trying to figure out the relationship on the outside. There's also a certain sense, lens of loyalty and cleanness to that and respect. But what happens is if you go out and you start venting about your partner to other people, it starts to hold a negative image of that relationship in your friends' minds and it will have a subconscious effect on how they see you, which kind of holds you in your problems. It holds you in your patterns. I see why that can be so powerful to not be talking about venting the drama to other people. Literally, it's holding that negative thought, the negative problems, the challenges that you have in their mind. And many people, not all, I think there's positive friends out there and people that like really wanna help you process and like problem solve. There's a balance to this, of course. But sometimes it's superficial energy waves. Some people can be, or maybe just be happy you have problems. It's like music to their ears because it makes them feel better about themselves. Remember when I was younger, I met, someone was telling me, yeah, I like to watch Jerry Springer because it makes me realize that I don't have I don't have so many problems in my life as I thought. But when you're watching Jerry Springer or toxic television even, and you're seeing relationship dynamics that are unhealthy, you might start to model your mind to believe this is normal. This is how people are. So look at where your energy is going. Look at what you're consuming. Realize that if you want to attract love, you want more abundance, you wanna like own a business, get around people that are already in that energy. It's a hack. Read books that embody that energy. It's a hack. And be careful to vent your problems to other people and be aware of what the vent— I think sometimes when people vent their problems, It's not 'cause they want a solution. People may vent their problems because it allows them to stay in the mode where they're not taking responsibility for their patterns and they get to keep the blame outside of themselves. So when you think of the codependency triangle, you think of perpetrator, victim, rescuer. It's like the victim energy gets to stay not taking action, gets to stay in the energy. So, oh my gosh, this happens, blah, blah, blah, blah. The other person's the perpetrator. Well, I had a cool insight on a live call that I was on recently. I did a live call the other day in my Shift Academy, and we were talking about how someone came on that was asking about why they sabotage themselves. They wanna be on a diet. It was an interesting coaching session. She was like, I wanna be on a diet, and what I do is like, I'm trying to lose weight, but then I go and I eat this mac and cheese thing, and she ate these mac and cheese chips or something. 'Cause they have chips with mac and cheese flavor. And she's eating these mac and cheese chips and she sabotaged herself. And the interesting thing about that was that that pattern, that energy, what we became aware of as we were working through it was that there was an energy of the, there is the perpetrator, victim rescuer dynamic. It's almost like There was a part of her she realized where the mac and cheese became the perpetrator and then she was the victim and then the rescuer part of ourselves, I'm gonna get on this coaching call and I'm gonna figure it out. What if there's times we project perpetrator, victim, rescuer dynamics onto patterns in our life? See, this thing happened. See, I can't do, like what if there are different aspects of our subconscious where we're playing victim, perpetrator, and rescuer? We sabotage ourselves. I keep sabotaging myself. Perpetrator part of me, victim part of me, rescuer part of me. It's an interesting thing to think of, isn't it? And part of the insight, part of the insight when I was coaching this woman, by the way, is she just kept going into like these different patterns, talking about them. And I just kept saying, it's okay, it's okay. Like her breakthrough was just me sitting there holding her in the frame and just saying, it's okay. And then she just started crying. It's okay. It reminds me of this one live call I did once in a 21-day challenge I did. And I kind of re— it was this in the moment thing. It can't really be created. But if, have any of you ever seen Good Will Hunting? Where there's this moment when Robin Williams is with Matt Damon and he just kept saying, "It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Do you realize it's not your fault?" He just kept saying, "It's not your fault." He's like, "What do you mean?" He's like, got angry at first, Matt Damon, his character. And then all of a sudden he just starts crying and sobbing. 'Cause someone was holding, as an empathetic witness, was holding him and he was addressing a part of himself that he probably never allowed himself to feel. So a lot of the transformational work that you see me do at live events and in coaching, it's just presence happens or healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. And the emotions that you try to avoid and you're into personal development 'cause you're trying to get rid of those emotions are the things I hold space for and like to encourage you to go into. And then people may have emotion come up, may cry, et cetera, and it's just because they feel safe to go into the emotion. Healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. Now, remember, you can also apply this to different parts of you, your inner child part of you that may not feel seen and heard, the angry part of yourself you don't allow yourself to feel. "Why are we so addicted to certain people, especially the ones that are unavailable?" That's a question. So someone's asking, why are we so, why, basically this person's asking, why am I so addicted to certain people, especially the ones that are unavailable? What are the emotionally unavailable people reflecting to you? And what stories do you get to stay in as well What emotions are unprocessed around emotionally unavailable people? What do you fear is true? Part of the thing to realize is that there is some payoff that you get from being around them. If you were emotionally available, would you tolerate emotionally unavailable people for as long as you have? Are you trying to fix other people to become emotionally available? And is that you avoiding yourself becoming emotionally available? This is a deeper question because many times people that say, "I attract emotionally unavailable people," they believe they are emotionally available. And it's a distraction to believe blame, they are not emotionally available, I am emotionally available, they are not. It's a way of deflecting your own challenges. And when you begin to pay attention to that aspect of you, when you begin to become emotionally available with that aspect of yourself, what you'll find is you may then have a breakthrough inside of yourself that then attracts to you emotionally available people. The truth is you might not be comfortable with emotionally available people. You might not even be attracted to them right now. It's an interesting thing to look at. It might just be a distraction and there might be a story. You might get a payoff for being right about reality. You may get to stay in victim mode because they're the challenge or the problem. And part of it is just becoming aware of also red flags when you're in it. Why do you stay in it? Why is there a red flag but you see it as a red rose? This is a self-inquiry practice you've been going into. How is this distracting you from being present with you? When I began, I had to own years ago when I was going through this attachment style work and becoming emotionally secure in relationship, One thing that I had to do is I had to look at this part of myself and it was hard to look at because there was so much of a story of they are the problem, I am not. And it's not about also you being the problem. It was about me owning a certain pattern and realizing deep down the addiction to emotional unavailability is what's known, it's what's familiar, it's what's patterned and conditioned in your nervous system. Chaos may feel normal. So part of this is that self-inquiry and connecting to the part of you that is connected to that energy and learning to be vulnerable too. Learning to be vulnerable, learning to have vulnerable— are you avoiding, are you avoiding vulnerable conversations because you're tolerating emotionally unavailable people? And instead you could just have a vulnerable conversation that either leads in more connection or it leads into you being free to then meet an emotionally available person. Does that make sense? So it's a process. It's a self-inquiry process. How do you protect your energy field around people you physically, you can't physically step away from? So first off, your energy field, you can learn to be in your own frame of reality. Anytime there's two people that are interacting, there is one person that has a stronger frame that is influencing the other person, either consciously or unconsciously. When you are around someone that has a strong frame, if you are patterned from childhood or they just have a stronger frame, you might submit to their frame. Now, this isn't a battle of frames where you're like, I'm going to assert a powerful frame here. I'm going to control and demand. You are more in your frame of reality the more you are in your body. The more you observe, you are in your frame of reality. If someone comes up to you and they're like, "You need to do this, you need to do that, you need to do this," you can choose whether you internalize that or not. You can choose whether you observe it or not. You can choose whether you tiptoe around them or not, or you cater to them, or you react. You can choose how you respond. And you are in a more powerful, more magnetic energy when you are present in your body, when you observe, when you let it be a spiritual way for you to become more. It's an opportunity for you to be more in your frame, more in your body. Protecting your energy field also insinuates that there's a whole bunch of evil people out there you have to protect yourself from. I'm not saying to be naive. I am saying be aware of what you're projecting out there to other people. Because if you keep holding people in the frame that they are the perpetrators taking your energy, they're the energy vampires, and you better not run into them, that's in your field. You might be literally projecting that onto other people. If you hold a new image of them, a new energy without trying to control, you might find that you can shift the way people respond to you. I've shared this before because I used to work with this guy back when I had a 9-to-5 job, like 10 years ago. I worked with this guy that nobody else wanted to work with. And he was a kind of, he had a more negative thought stream where he'd complain about how slow it was and people didn't like working with him. I had a different story about him. I would actually, and I think there was a part of myself where I felt, some of you may resonate with this, like you ever see like the lonely kid or the kid that no one else likes and there's a part of you that just wants to like be friends with them? It's probably also like an inner child wounding where it's like, I wanna save or be nice to the one that no one else is nice to. It's not, I don't think it's a bad, it's not bad necessarily, but it is like, it's probably also, if I'm honest, it's also part of like, part of myself that wants to be different or I don't know. But nonetheless, when I saw this person, when I worked with this person, I had a different image of this, of him and I would actually have fun with him. I didn't let that negativity get to me and I would just, I would like, I held a different image of him and I didn't let it get to me. I wasn't trying to control him to be different, but like my story about him was different and because of that, I actually enjoyed working with him. And he was different around me than he was other people, but I was also holding a different image of him and I would bring a different energy out of him by being different in my body. I was more playful or having fun or joking around. So you have, when you ask, how do I protect my energy? How do you influence your own state? How do you be more playful? How do you have more fun? How do you self-regulate within yourself? And people may mirror and bounce off of that instead of you bouncing off of them and believing that you have to be crushed because of that. Yeah, my story was different about him and then he was different with me. So when I worked with him, it wasn't, it wasn't bad. So you do have an influence. As much as I'm talking about energy field here, you do have an influence over how people respond to you, but it all starts with you your nervous system and how you are able to influence your own state. And if when you walk around, you're on eggshells and when you walk around, you're trying to please other people, when you walk around, you're overgiving, you're in patterns of control. And if you wanna be free, it's about becoming aware of those familiar patterns and choosing to observe them so that they're not stuck in your energy field and choosing to then allow God to flow in. To let it up, to let— to give it up to something greater than you. These are all things you have the ability to become aware of. This is an interesting question. I'm gonna share a higher perspective on this that I find interesting. Someone says, how can you stop reacting to cruelty? When we see wildfire or animal abuse, we feel that they suffer but can't help. What can we do? So what's interesting about this is I was listening to something the other day that was talking about why enlightened people, if you think about enlightened people, let's talk about like different levels of consciousness. There's certain dramas that are happening in the planet and there's certain things that are happening that are reflective of certain collective consciousness, like energy. And everyone may have a different role in that. And for some people's role, it may be to be active and to be doing certain things and that's their passion or that's what they find important. That's what brings them meaning, which is great. A lot of times when there's crazy stuff happening in the world and we hold a fear dynamic, and we say, people will say, what you need to do because there's crazy stuff happening in the world is you need to talk about the crazy stuff that's happening in the world. You need to bring more awareness to the crazy stuff that's happening in the world. Now, from one perspective, if that crazy stuff that's happening in the world, you talk about it and then change happens or something, I see the thought process. But a lot of times when millions of people on the planet are sending fear energy and are, ruminating on the problem, we create more of an expectation and an energy of that. This is why Mother Teresa's quote was, instead of going to a protest against war, she'd rather go to like a celebration of peace rally because then you're bringing more peace into the world, not more war into the world. So when people sometimes reach out to me and they're like, I want you to talk about this thing that's happening in the world, A lot of times it's coming from their belief of what needs to be done in order for the world to change based on someone that has an Instagram following or YouTube following, as if me talking about it, about something that maybe I don't feel passionate to talk about, but me talking about it is going to change the world somehow. In fact, I would argue that many times it's putting more energy, more negativity into the problem itself when we talk about energy. I believe that doing group guided meditations for mind and heart coherence will have a more powerful effect on society and the collective consciousness than talking about the problem and beating it up and sending more energy into it. So mind and heart connection is very powerful. Now there is this idea that also came from, that I was listening when it was talking about why enlightened people, certain levels of consciousness, Why don't enlightened people, why do they just go meditate in a cave? There's so much crazy stuff happening on the planet. Why do a lot of times enlightened people just go meditate in a cave? Well, if you think about it, when we talk about ego and the ego's desire to control, even if the ego's desire to control is to alleviate suffering on the planet, it comes from the notion and the energy of trying to solve the problems in the world. What are the motivations behind trying to heal the world? Is it an ego desire to heal the world? Is it an ego desire to create harmony? From an enlightened perspective, I believe the world is perfect as it is. They have the perspective the world is perfect as it is, and then being in that energy state, then being in that state of consciousness, is in the real— of that God presence has a powerful effect on reality, even though it doesn't include them like starting organizations and like doing all this stuff to like fix the planet. If we're trying to fix the planet, we're also insinuating that the planet needs fixing. So these are the— this is just a self-inquiry to become aware of the ego self-inquiry process of looking at this, because I'm not saying they're not proud. I'm not saying we're just gonna be naive. There's no problems in the world. Everything's perfect as it is, as people are dying and stuff. I'm not saying that. I'm saying there's different levels of consciousness, that there's realizations with why the ego, what the ego does and how the ego does it in the world. And there are maybe different ways of going about bringing in change. Part of it could be also looking at what these things happening in the outer world reflect back to me, because the outer world is a reflection of the inner world. And then as Gandhi said, If you wanna change the world, what'd he say? You wanna create change in the world, be the change. Embody that change inside of yourself. So being more compassionate can be a very powerful way to begin shifting the energy inside of yourself. What are different things that are happening in the world represent to you ego-wise, energy-wise? How can you begin to resolve that energy inside of you? How can you become aware of the triggers that come up? Because the triggers are coming up for a reason. When you begin to embrace those triggers, to love the triggers even, you begin to dissipate the energy instead of sending the thought forms to all the crazy stuff, the wildfires, the cruelty on the planet, etc. So this is why I believe that there are just different ways to do that. I believe one of the most powerful ways for me to influence the world in a positive way is for me to simply live in my passion and to like do what I love by doing what I love, which includes helping people and putting message power, like what I believe to be positive messages out in the world or messages of the self-empowerment, interrelational like connections to yourself that it has. I believe that's the way that I can do it within the way that I can versus going out there with like a sign and putting more attention on the problem. So anyways, that's my little rant on that. It's seeing what it represents to you. It's not about pretending. It's not about pretending. It's about you can still acknowledge that something is happening. At the same time, be aware of the energy that's being funneled into it because getting angry is a part of the, can be a part of the healing process for sure. But there's also aspects of this where you're able to connect to yourself. You're able to meditate and create mind and heart coherence inside of your body. I think one of the most, this is something that I did A while ago, I did a meditation, a guided meditation live on YouTube where we sent love to certain parts of the planet. We got into mind and heart coherence and did that. So it's not about pretending it's not happening. It's about what energy are you going to embody? What vision are you gonna hold? In what way are you gonna interact with it? And for some people, that might mean to put attention on it. It's just not to believe that that's how everyone in the world needs to do it. Like the control is, this is the way in which I think the world should change and you should do what I want you to do because I think that should also be your way of doing it. That's control. And what I'm saying is do it the way you wanna do it, see what that reflects back to you, and at the same time, Become aware of how you can regulate your body, create mind and heart coherence inside of your body, and how you can hold a vision. If we hold a vision for what we wanna create in the world, that has a more powerful effect on the collective consciousness, especially when we come together in mind and heart coherence, which is why I believe guided meditation can literally transform the planet. That will always have a powerful effect in my life. Before my— one of the last messages, it was very interesting. When my mom passed away 2 years ago at 6 o'clock at night, 2, 3 hours before she passed away, she sent me a WhatsApp message because she would always send me on WhatsApp messages. She sent me a message that was a quote from this guy that was talking about consciousness and it said, if we knew the power of group meditation to change the planet, we'd be doing it all the time. Something like that. And I felt like it was very, I felt like it was very poetic that it was like meant to be in a way that my mom sent me that. It was like the last thing she sent to me. But group med, there was something, I really believe that group meditation is the most powerful thing we could do. Is to come together, to meditate on our own, to meditate and also do group meditations. And that's why I think on YouTube meditation can be so powerful because millions of people, some of the meditations on YouTube, there's a meditation I have on YouTube for sending love to the Middle East. So if you're in the comments saying something like, you know, like wanting to do something, one way that you could do it is you could do a mind and heart coherence meditation and send love and positive energy to the Middle East. That meditation's on YouTube. It's one thing you could do, but you gotta find what works for you. But realize that everyone has their own way of contributing to the world. And where we get into challenges is when we expect other people to do it the way we think we should do it. This is also a way, I think also, by the way, on social media, because I do get, I get people because I have a large following People will say, "You need to talk about this. You need to talk about that." It becomes a perpetrator, victim, rescuer dynamic. And then I may have the tendency sometimes to go into, "Oh, people are telling me what to do." This is perpetrator, victim, rescuer stuff. What do you want me to do? Tell me what to do and I'll go do it for you and then you'll like me. But what I'm saying is it's just an interesting connection to the whole perpetrator, victim, rescuer dynamic. But ultimately, to get outta the cycle of codependency, you find what's true for you. So you find what's true for you. And what I think the most powerful thing you could do is create mind and heart coherence within yourself, create mind and heart coherence within your body, within your nervous system, become aware of your energy field, become aware of your energy field and realize that your energy field is attracting everything in your life to you. A lot of people are asking for me to save this live. I will save this live. Does that make me a rescuer? Am I appeasing you? Will you like me if I save this live? Will you like me? Is this a mechanism of control I'm using? Just kidding. Anyways, other than that, this was fun. This is the Airbnb I'm at for a little bit. It's kind of cool. What else am I doing? The London live event is open for enrollment. You can respond with London, L-O-N-D-O-N. If you want the invite, it's September 26th, 27th, 28th. It's going to be epic breathwork, a whole bunch of cool stuff, live hot seat coaching, all of that. If you're in Europe, come to London for that. I don't know when I'm gonna do another live event in London. It's cool to bring this kind of work to London, to be able to experience that with the London crowd or the Europe crowd. A lot of people are traveling in. Other than that, something else that is also coming up is a full-time purpose live event. I'm gonna be doing a Full-Time Purpose live event that starts on, I believe, the 18th. It's a Monday. Is it the 16th or the 18th? It's coming up in like 2 Mondays from now. It's a 3-day virtual live event where I'm gonna be bringing on other people that are full-time with their purpose. And basically what they're gonna be doing is sharing how they went full-time with their purpose. This is for coaches, healers, people that are in some type of business where they wanna like go full-time with their purpose. That's gonna be coming out Soon. Um, I don't think the ManyChat is available yet. What I'll do is I'll put that link in my bio in the next like 5 minutes. So if you want to join that, you can. But it's a ver— it's a virtual live event, uh, live hot seat coaching, meditation, breathwork, etc. It's completely free and it starts on the 18th. And it's not just going to be me and my buddy Victor sharing how we went full-time and what's working right now. It's going to be other people that are full-time coming on that have gone full-time so you can hear their stories. And then it begins to rewire your brain with what's possible for you. So anyways, that'll be coming up soon. I'll put the bio— I'll put that in my bio. Other than that, I want to thank you all for being here, and as always, I will talk to you on the next one. Peace, much love, and namaste.